Scattering Ashes

[derbytwo]

I'm hoping to scatter my late husband's cremains in the various Caribbean islands, as opposed to off the back of the ship. Anybody have any experience or suggestions? Any problem bringing the cremains on the ship?

[fsdj1097]

I'm hoping to scatter my late husband's cremains in the various Caribbean islands, as opposed to off the back of the ship. Anybody have any experience or suggestions? Any problem bringing the cremains on the ship?

 

My brother brought the cremains of a friend onboard the Zuiderdam on our Alaska cruise a few years back.

 

We had contacted ships services prior to boarding, so they were aware that he was bringing them. I would advise you to contact ships services to let them know.

 

Ships Services coordinated the burial at sea ceremony with the Zuiderdam crew. The captain met with my brother and went over the details of the ceremony. The cremains were transferred into a weighted container that was fashioned by the ships upholstery shop.

 

I would think, in your case, just letting them know your plans would enable them to advise you on the local laws of the island countries that you will be visiting.

 

Good luck and please let us know how things turn out.

[bcd2010]

Kween Karen did this on various grand voyages - left a small amount in each of the ports she visited. She posted pictures with an arrow pointing to them and captioned it "Mom". See photos in ports on her world cruise blog: http://world.kweenkaren.com/

 

For burial at sea, you can do an internet search for biodegradable urns which are designed to carry the ashes then break up rather quickly once they are lowered/dropped/placed in the ocean. HAL coordinates this with you, and can ask the ships clergy person to officiate if you want a ceremony, etc. Do let them know.

 

Edited to add: The biodegradable urns come in many styles and are quite decorative so you could use them at a memorial service before taking them to scatter ashore. You may be able to buy them locally rather than online but I'm sure they will cost more, if that's a consideration.

Edited January 13, 2015 by bcd2010

[InTheWASide]

I would think, in your case, just letting them know your plans would enable them to advise you on the local laws of the island countries that you will be visiting.

 

I would not be so sure of this. In most cases and in other aspects of the cruise contract everything is explained that the traveler is expected to know and be able to comply with all local laws/rules/regulations, obtain necessary visas/vaccinations/documents and so forth.

 

While I ABSOLUTELY recommend letting the ship know in advance via Ship Services, and be sure to carry your paperwork that says WHO the remains are of... don't forget that!! it will likely fall back on you to know what the rules are with regard to scattering on various islands which in some cases are their own sovereign nations.

 

They don't specifically advise of the VERY strict littering rules in Singapore or various religious driven laws in a place like Dubai... but you are expected to know those on your own...

 

So sorry to hear of your loss OP... the ship also offers a beautiful arrangement on board that I have experienced myself with my late mom's remains.

[cb at sea]

She's going to the Caribbean..not Dubai!!!

[InTheWASide]

She's going to the Caribbean..not Dubai!!!

 

I'm aware. The point there was to illustrate that many places can have severe penalties for things that seem fairly "minor". Singapore will cane you for littering. Dubai can arrest women that drink in public.

 

I have no clue what various caribbean ports might do if you sprinkle "biological matter" on their sovereign land... do you?

[sail7seas]

Be sure to check rules if you plan to fly and pass through security carrying the cremains.

 

I hope you get to fulfill your wish to scatter your late DH's ashes where you want.

Best Wishes.

[PathfinderEss]

You need to let Hal know about your plans and you should write to every island that you wanted to distribute his ashes to find out if you can and need permission. We did this with a friend of ours and had no problems with Hal letting us sprinkle some of her ashes at sea or the town in Alaska that we wanted to sprinkle the rest of her ashes.

[derbytwo]

Thank you all. I contacted Ship's Services and got permission to spread his ashes at sea. I figured it was safer - and legal - that way. I will however, keep a small handful to bring to the various beaches - maybe a spoonful at each beach. As for flying, I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area, so I don't have that extra concern. Again, thank you all for your replies.

[sail7seas]

Wonderful you have received permission and can now fulfill these wishes.

I hope you find peace in doing so. Best Wishes.

 

[Boytjie]

Thank you all. I contacted Ship's Services and got permission to spread his ashes at sea. I figured it was safer - and legal - that way. I will however, keep a small handful to bring to the various beaches - maybe a spoonful at each beach. As for flying, I live in the Ft. Lauderdale area, so I don't have that extra concern. Again, thank you all for your replies.

 

I think you chose well; HAL does provide a great service. Once onboard they will coordinate with you when it can take place.

 

We did that for a friend a few years ago while on a charter; there was a new-agie minister on board that helped with the. We expected that the partner would just scatter the ashes (from a container that was not appropriate for scattering at sea) but then the minister said "everyone take a handful..." It was a bit awkward and strange but we all did :). Nobody thought to arrange for something to clean our hands with so if anyone plane to do a hand scattering, they may want to ask HAL to supply something. :)

Edited January 14, 2015 by Boytjie

[indokiwi]

Once while on the Oosterdam, on the first sea day we were in the Main Dining Room on Deck 2 at the back, up against the windows looking out at the wake. All of a sudden we noticed a trickle of gray ashes begin to float down and dust the window that we were seated at. Suddenly, a large bouquet of flowers "wapped" against the window, stuck for a moment and then was followed by a large amount of ashes, which subsequently stuck to the water/plant juice left by the flowers on the window. Turns out that someone had (not with the permission of the ship) decided to hold their own burial at sea ceremony on the Deck 3 promenade deck. We ended up being sat at the same table a few more times throughout the cruise, including the Mariners Brunch and each time we sat there, we could see the ashes, still stuck in the flower leavings, dried and caked on to the window. Long story short - 1. make sure the ship makes the plans and 2. make sure that the burial/send off location is somewhere it will go directly in the water and not back on to various other parts of the ship.

[derbytwo]

Boytjie and Indokiwi, you both make some good points about ashes scattering. I will be solo on this cruise, so there won't be any kind of ceremony, although there will be someone from HAL supervising, I'd think, since I've already notified them. I've decided not to just "scatter" the cremains, for exactly those reasons you both stated. I've been looking online for a biodegradable container to place/toss overboard for my husband's ashes. If I'm going to do this, I intend to do it right. (Although I still plan to hold back a small amount - a couple of teaspoon's worth - to to mix with the waves on the few beaches I'll be visiting). I'm a bit freaked out both about cruising alone and the actual final goodbye to my husband, so I thank you all for your input. It helps.

[fsdj1097]

Boytjie and Indokiwi, you both make some good points about ashes scattering. I will be solo on this cruise, so there won't be any kind of ceremony, although there will be someone from HAL supervising, I'd think, since I've already notified them. I've decided not to just "scatter" the cremains, for exactly those reasons you both stated. I've been looking online for a biodegradable container to place/toss overboard for my husband's ashes. If I'm going to do this, I intend to do it right. (Although I still plan to hold back a small amount - a couple of teaspoon's worth - to to mix with the waves on the few beaches I'll be visiting). I'm a bit freaked out both about cruising alone and the actual final goodbye to my husband, so I thank you all for your input. It helps.

 

As I mentioned in my earlier post, the Captain visited with my brother and the ship provided the biodegradable container to be used for the ceremony. The Captain, the Hotel Manager, and a few other officers officiated at the ceremony, which was held on the very aft portion of the promenade deck. That portion of the deck was blocked off for the ceremony. The cremains were in the container on a small wooden slide, covered in a U.S. flag. The Captain said some very appropriate words, the slide was lifted, and the container slid over the railing into the sea. There were some flower petals that were made available for my brother to scatter overboard, as well. Later, my brother received a certificate that listed the GPS coordinates of the location of where the ceremony occurred, as well as the sea conditions and depth. The certificate was signed by the Captain.

 

I thought the ceremony was very appropriate and very tastefully performed.

[derbytwo]

fsdj1097, it was because of your previous post (as well as a few others) that I decided to contact Ship's Services and do this right. They told me to notify Guest Relations when I board and they can help with making arrangements. I'm planning to provide my own biodegradable container just in case. But a certificate with the GPS coordinates would be an amazing keepsake. I'll update after the cruise, next month, on how it went. Thank you.

[InTheWASide]

As I mentioned in my earlier post, the Captain visited with my brother and the ship provided the biodegradable container to be used for the ceremony. The Captain, the Hotel Manager, and a few other officers officiated at the ceremony, which was held on the very aft portion of the promenade deck. That portion of the deck was blocked off for the ceremony. The cremains were in the container on a small wooden slide, covered in a U.S. flag. The Captain said some very appropriate words, the slide was lifted, and the container slid over the railing into the sea. There were some flower petals that were made available for my brother to scatter overboard, as well. Later, my brother received a certificate that listed the GPS coordinates of the location of where the ceremony occurred, as well as the sea conditions and depth. The certificate was signed by the Captain.

 

I thought the ceremony was very appropriate and very tastefully performed.

 

A lot of that was similar to what we did with my mom's remains. We just had a small amount. The urn is at home but we travel with a bear that was hers and a small necklace that holds some of her ashes so she gets to go everywhere with us :)

 

We took what was in the necklace, placed it into rose petals that we pulled from the stem and let that over the back. We didn't have all the officers there. We are very good friends with that Guest Relations Manager and did it with her there. The scattering was on my mom's birthday. She was then off duty and we got a bottle of our favorite wine and toasted to both my mom's memory and that of her recently passed father. My mom really loved dragonflies and my husband arranged to have the bed covered with the towel animal variation that evening when we came back to the room.

 

Needless to say it was an emotional day, but absolutely beautiful

[Scrap Addict]

Derbytwo,

 

We planned to do something similar with my father (except scatter his remains on his favorite salmon fishing river). We buried 1/2 of his ashes at the National Memorial Cemetery and kept 1/2 to scatter on the Coho River. When it came time to do the scattering, however, my mom was not ready to part with him, so we brought him home with us from our trip. He now resides in a very nice box in my mom's bedroom.

 

On a side note, we did have to complete a few forms to divide his ashes and to travel with them through the US. The National Cemetery in AZ required this since we mentioned in their presence that the urn only contained 1/2 of my dad's ashes.

 

I'm sorry for your lose. You may want to bring a friend along for support. My mom was emotional on that trip, and having me and my daughter along helped quite a bit.

 

Best wishes.

[ger_77]

There's a great site online to purchase biodegradable urns; there's one there that I want for my cremains - the Shell in Coral - which I hope to have slipped into the area around Half Moon Cay. Not anytime soon, mind you, but at least my family knows of my wishes.

http://www.funeral-urn.com/biodegradable-urns.aspx?utm_source=Bing&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=Cremation%2BUrn

 

To the OP, I am sorry for the loss of your husband; I hope you can find some peace releasing his ashes in a place that was meaningful to both of you.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[Boytjie]

There's a great site online to purchase biodegradable urns; there's one there that I want for my cremains - the Shell in Coral - which I hope to have slipped into the area around Half Moon Cay.

 

Just and FYI, when we arranged our friend's scattering, HAL told us that the captain would determine where the scattering would take place. There are sea laws that determine how far from land it can take place - I think if you mention that you would like to have it near HMC they would take that into consideration.

[ger_77]

Just and FYI, when we arranged our friend's scattering, HAL told us that the captain would determine where the scattering would take place. There are sea laws that determine how far from land it can take place - I think if you mention that you would like to have it near HMC they would take that into consideration.

 

Thank you, I had not thought of that. Ideally, I would like to have it placed at the base of the "I Wish I Could Stay Here Forever" sign :D, but I'll settle for somewhere in the waters near HMC.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[sail7seas]

Thank you, I had not thought of that. Ideally, I would like to have it placed at the base of the "I Wish I Could Stay Here Forever" sign :D, but I'll settle for somewhere in the waters near HMC.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

 

Ahh, what a thought......

To Really Stay There Forever. :) Does sound heavenly.

 

[derbytwo]

Scrap Addict,

Wish someone WAS coming with me, but it's not happening. I'm already emotional about it, but it's something I have to do for me, so I'll be okay.

 

Ship's Services is aware, biodegradable container ordered... the only other thing I need is plenty of tissues.

 

Thank you all for your advice.

 

D.

[sail7seas]

You are so brave and strong to do this on your own. I wish I was able to sail with you...... I would.

 

Cyber hugs and hopes doing this brings you some peace.

[callmebetty]

Derbytwo,

What a beautiful way to remember your husband. I wish you safe travels and great memories as you take this trip. This is something my husband and I have discussed and I hope someday one of us has the strength to do what you are doing.

[carla63]

Derbytwo

You sound like a strong woman. May you find peace and comfort. I too, wish I could be there with you for the needed emotional support. Bless you.