Adventure OS - A Wonderous (and Occasionally Strange) Journey

[JohnGaltny]

This is my semi demented view of our recent cruise on Adventure of the Seas out of San Juan. The freak parade for this trip was a collection of 14 friends ranging in age from 67 to 2.5 years old. It was supposed to be 16 but, for reasons I’ll explain at the end, that didn’t work out.

WARNING: This review contains opinions, thoughts, miscellaneous ramblings and, possibly, some humor that may be harmful to the PC Police, Royal Carribots or members of the Society of Perpetual Outrage (SOPO). If you belong to any such organization, or you are a highly evolved and ・sensitive・ individual, please STOP here and go read the latest list of cruise directors or compass menus.

 

Getting there is half the fun (No it isn’t).

 

As is our custom, we flew in a day early to San Juan, leaving the house at a blearly eyed zero dark thirty (4:00 AM). However this is not a bad thing since traveling to JFK at that hour turns a normally 2.5 hour torture ride into a very calm 1:10 minute nap for all except (for the most part) the driver. I was amazed that even at 5:15 AM, the Jet Blue terminal still looked like an ant colony in mating season but we knew enough to pay the bribe at the curbside check in and skip the Disneyesque parade of back and forth lines inside the terminal. JetBlue again proved why it is my airline of choice with a perfect on time flight marred only by the fact that the TVs don’t work for 90% of the trip over the ocean.

 

At the airport in San Juan we ran into the first of our "amusing" co-travellers. A woman at baggage claim was quite put out the all the signs were in Spanish. She made no secret of this (at least to anyone standing within 50 feet or so) and I initially thought she was kidding. NOPE, she meant it. Now I don’t buy the line that "multi-cultural" balkanization improves a country. To me the language of the USA is, and should be, English but c’mon, SERIOUSLY? We travel to a different culture and expect them to conform to us? Being neither xenophobic nor hypocritical, I had previously learned from my Hispanic daughter-in-law the critical Spanish phrases Hola, Como Estas, Gracias and, most importantly, Jack Daniels con agua, por favor. As long as I could read the signs that said "Banos" that got me through the week. To me, this woman proved that while beauty is skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.

 

Our stay overnight was at the Intercontinental - San Juan which is quite nice but I’m not sure it justifies the pricing. The oceanfront is terrific, the pools are gorgeous, the air is fresh and free and absolutely everything else gets charged to your room. Not so much as a free donut in the morning but they will serve you two eggs for a mere $18.95. Of course, you get to choose the style of eggs and there is toast with it so maybe it’s actually a deal.

 

 

RCI had sent emails to everyone in my party giving us all our times to report to the dock. A few of our newbs actually believed them until I ‘splained that it meant nothing. We (at least my wife, Son, DIL and Granddaughter) left the hotel at 10:30, got to the port 20 min and $28.00 later and were deposited in the first of many lines.

 

The introductory line was new for me. Normally I can’t get out of the car/cab/limo before the porters jump me to take the luggage, sometimes resulting in a refreshing tug of war over carry on vs checked. In San Juan however there is a line to get to the porters which then allows you to get to a line that may not move for a while. Still once things got rolling, embarkation was the usual relentless RCI efficiency and we were through security and on to the next line with dispatch. Another nice touch is that there is a separate line for those skipping the happy face in front of a poster of the ship portrait. All told we were on the ship at about 11:45 and from our comfortable seats on 11 deck we watched the first disaster of the cruise.

 

We’ll discuss that in the next post.

__________________

Edited May 11, 2015 by JohnGaltny

[Lady Chew]

looking forward to it ...

[Goodtime Cruizin]

Sailing on the AoS in October 2016. A lot can change by then but following!

Edited May 12, 2015 by Goodtime Cruizin

[SPacificbound]

I always love your writing, keep it going! :D

[New2cruise1483]

Love your style of writing so far. We're going to be on her in September,Mao I love reading all the reviews I can find :D

[CruiseMore1]

Love your reviews! Definitely following this one.

[JohnGaltny]

No Lunch but a Great Early Floorshow

So after boarding with the first group we would normally head for 5 deck to avoid the madness of the grazing herd in the Windjammer. However, we were so early that nothing was open yet so our advance party claimed a table on 11 deck aft of the pool to just sit outside and relax. We didn’t realize that we had taken box seats to a floor show to match anything in the Theater all week.

The food services were scheduled to open at noon so, naturally enough, the mob started to form early in the lobby just outside the Windjammer. For those who have never been on a cruise, Embarkation Day at the Windjammer is eerily close to the lynch mob that forms outside the jail in every bad western you’ve ever seen. I have always wondered if being able to claim the first hamburger gives one some sort of door prize or higher level on membership in the C & A Society.

At 12:00 - no Windjammer. At 12:10 - no Windjammer. By 12:20 - no Windjammer and by now the overflow from the aft elevator lobby spilled out past the doors. I am by no means petite but given the corporeal size of many cruise patrons, I couldn’t help but think of those old scenes where the herd of bison comes over the hill in one big stampede. Further, the benefit of leaving from San Juan meant that we got to hear all sorts of new swearing in two languages.

Turns out that the Health Department decided to throw a surprise inspection and nothing could open until they had checkmarks in all their little boxes. My take was that I was okay with a 30 min delay if it minimized my chance of e-coli or salmonella but the large majority (of the very large customers) apparently value scheduled grazing times over such little matters as health. To each their own.

 

A Tale of Three Meals (the best of food, the worst of food)

 

As long as we are on the general topic of food, let me take care of the mandatory discussion of food on the cruise. As we all know by now, FOOD IS VERY SUBJECTIVE so what I am about to say is only a consensus of our 14 person road show.

The food on this cruise was a wildly divergent, almost schizophrenic experience. Going backwards (as my wife will tell you, my normal operating method), the food in the MDR was as consistently good as we have ever had on a ship. With the exception of some slightly underdone lobster there were times it even rivaled a restaurant ashore. I should also note here that our MDR team of Binu and Lucia were the absolute best team we have had in 14 cruises on 4 different lines. I have been critical of RCI on my last two cruises for understaffing the MDR to the point where wait staff was running around like rats on speed but these two brought back the personal attention and good humor that we always considered the Royal edge. Both got WOW cards and additional tips at the end, all well and truly earned.

Next up was breakfast, in both the Windjammer and by room service. My wife and I always like to use room service as a wakeup call and relax on our balcony while we eat. In both cases, breakfast was cafeteria typical, as bland and repetitious as a political campaign speech. Honestly, I’m not sure what can be done better but I prefer the powdered eggs to have the powder fully cooked off them and the french toast to be a bit softer than the average ballpeen hammer. On the bright side, morning coffee was actually decent and not the standard Royal battery acid special. Also, while I criticized room service last cruise, this time they were spot on for times I checked and the food was delivered anywhere between sort of cool and almost warm.

Lastly, there is lunch in the Windjammer. I don’t know how they did it, but the same kitchen that turned out excellent dinners provided lunches that varied from truly horrible to merely not any good. As one example of variety, RCI apparently thinks that the difference between Beef Stroganoff and Hungarian Goulash is the sign they put above it. Either way, they were both comprised of tasteless, fatty high school mystery meat. I wanted a hamburger all week in the worst way and, looking at them under the lights, that’s exactly what I would have gotten if I had chosen one. (and YES, I know about Johnny Rockets but I should not have to go there to avoid hockey pucks with ketchup)

In any event, service staff here was good and I have always enjoyed the entertainment value of watching a 3 foot pile of french fries with legs walking toward me.

Next post - The Ship and its Shape

Edited May 12, 2015 by JohnGaltny

[killtheump]

Sailing on the AoS in October 2016. A lot can change by then but following!

 

Will you be on the Oct.8, 2016 8 night cruise? If so I will see you there.:D

[JohnGaltny]

Down to Quarters and a Brand New Game

Once the Battle of the Buffet was over, the next minor convulsion was over the fact that the cabins were not opened at 2:00 as scheduled. My son works in the hotel industry and he explained to anyone who would listen that a health inspection is an "all hands" drill, including housekeeping, so that 30 minute delay carried over to the cabins. Really not a big deal to us but you’d be amazed at how many people object to an extra ½ hour on a peaceful, half empty ship with pool drink waiters now circulating. On that topic, I should note that, unlike my most recent Explorer cruise, the pool drink waiters were consistently present and consistently pleasant all week. Since Jack Daniels is one of my major food groups on any cruise, I was glad to see these people back in force and they did a great job of walking the line between being solicitous and annoying.

So at 2:30 Cabins were called and down we all go to inspect quarters. My party essentially controlled the hump on 8 deck portside and we all had the same steward, Keith. He wasn’t the most personable steward we’ve ever had but the cabin was well serviced all week. My only "special" request was a bucket of ice every day and, unlike on Explorer, it actually was always there. He also went away with a substantial extra tip that was deserved.

 

So far in this review, I have sounded like an RCI fanboy which is unusual for me. However, Adventure is showing some signs of age or maintenance issues. When we entered our cabin (8620) with my 2 1/2 year old granddaughter in tow, she immediately told me there were "poopies" on my balcony. She had it wrong, it was rust, but I couldn’t argue with her visualization. I am not one to complain about little rust spots or the occasional worn carpet but this really did look like someone had painted the scuppers with something from the "Puppies Accident" collection at Home Depot.

In addition, at various times during the week, in many different spots, there was an aroma which suggested that the International Council of Sauerkraut Chefs was holding their annual cook off somewhere aboard. Since there was never a bit of sauerkraut at any meal, I have to assume a different source, confirmed by the fact that it made my friends from North Carolina slightly homesick. Hmmmm.

We also developed a brand new game on this trip. As I mentioned, we had six cabins in the same area (except NO balcony for a climbing toddler, so they went to 2 deck in an Oceanview). What we found all week was that the toilets would randomly refuse to flush. At times they worked normally, at times I’d push the button and nothing. The really exciting times were when nothing happened until I was on the phone with maintenance when- WHOOOSH. I am familiar with time delay on radio but it was a first for me in bathrooms. This was common across all our cabins and led to our new game creation "Flushin Roulette". Since the vacuum system on these ships could suck a golf ball through a straw, I cannot imagine what anyone could put down there to block an entire section of the ship. Actually, that seems too gruesome to contemplate.

Random Notes from Around the Ship and Occasionally Under the Table

To be honest, this was something of a test cruise for the five of us who are RCI loyalists and veterans. If you read my other reviews, you know I have been disappointed with the lack of the intangible WOW factor that set RCI apart from NCL and Princess. The good news for us was that it was back, sort of. While not universal across the ship, most of the crew gave off the old "We’re glad you’re here" feel that we had missed so much. It may be an act, like a lap dancer convincing you she really likes you, but they were very convincing and deserved the singles I always bring with much the same result.

As usual, we established my At Sea office in the Schooner Bar. Aside from my preference, this worked well since my group included three former band members and the Schooner was ground zero for nightly karaoke. I really enjoy that since a few doses of liquid courage will get people up who would never do so ashore. I also like the diverse range of singers from Broadway caliber to those that sound like two cats trying to fight in a steel garbage can.

Anyway, our two waiters at the Schooner were also really good, possibly as a result of those lap dancer singles I mentioned.

To answer a question I’ve seen on this board, the Viking Crown has NOT been closed off to the unwashed public. It remains my favorite spot for sailaway and still serves drinks of many colors. However, this was one spot where understaffing was obvious. No circulating waiter I ever saw and one totally overwhelmed bartender whenever we were there kind of muted the VC experi-ahhhnce.

Of Packages and Kings - I can now also confirm that RCI has enacted a truly royal price increase on drinks. My former $7.00 (w tip) Jack Daniels was now $9.44 (before single) and there must have been a drastic supply crisis in the paper umbrella insutry since anything with an umbrella went for $10.00 to $14.00 BEFORE you pay for the souvenir plastic glass. Fortunately, I bought my son the Preferred Drink package and he was ahead on that one by Tuesday. My own idea is that Royal wants to move people to the packages so that they collect the $55.00/day in advance and can play the float for a few months on that money. As a businessman I think that’s pretty smart but, as a customer, getting whacked with a 40% increase in one shot does not make me warm and fuzzy. For my wife and I, we used RCI credit card points for onboard credit and, between drinks and (outrageously expensive) Bingo, we blew through $850.00 OBC the day before returning to San Juan.

As always, when it came to elevators, I was once again bemused by those people who cannot understand that in order to get ON a full elevator, you must first let people OFF. This simple concept of physics continues to escape cruisers for some unknown reason. I also had several small contretemps with members of the Caribbean Council of Rude and Obnoxious Morons (CCROM). In one instance, I actually blocked a group of four CCROMers from trampling an elderly woman in a wheelchair who had the temerity to attempt to board an elevator before them and a lively discussion ensued. Apparently, an elbow in the ribs is the substitute for "excuse me" in the By-laws of the CCROM. We happened to be out of San Juan so most such negotiations were conducted in Spanish but, being from New York, I am fully aware that rude, obnoxious and stupid are truly EEOC and Title IX compliant. No discrimination in that realm at all.

More to come

Edited May 12, 2015 by JohnGaltny

[jamiehaas27]

Love the review and writing style! Can't wait to hear more.

[PSU]

Love your review!!

[JohnGaltny]

Thanks all. I'm glad when people enjoys these rants. More to come later or Thursday.

[01Sweetpea]

My husband & I were on the same cruise, I'm interested to read your opinion of the cruise!

[JohnGaltny]

On to the Islands

I’ll start by saying that for me and a couple of my friends, a cruise is about the ship. Nevertheless, a Caribbean cruise is about islands, so to the islands we shall briefly go.

I am not a beach person but my wife and granddaughter are avid and my daughter in law is Dominican so they will necessarily differ with my feeling that daytime on most islands is essentially boring. This probably says more about me than about the destinations but there just isn’t that much that interests me until the nightlife kicks in. Of course, by that time we are back aboard and off to the sea. On the bright side, a 3/4 empty ship is a seriously great place to do all those things that require lines and other people when underweigh.

Barbados - Some of our party hit Nelson’s Boatyard and enjoyed it. The rest went into town, looked around like Chevy Chase at the Grand Canyon, and returned to drinking on board.

Antigua - See above except the name of the beach changed.

St. Lucia - In the only "organized tour" my entire group did together I had arranged a private tour with a terrific guy named Grant Stanis. Stanis (as he’s known) was a pleasure to deal with, responded promptly to my pre cruise e-mails and was genuinely knowledgable about everything on his 24 x 17 mile Island. What we didn’t realize was that even though St. Lucia is small enough that Rhode Island could beat it up, it takes forever to get wherever you are going.

As a result, we spent 1.5 hours on narrow roads, winding around and switch backing our way through some truly gorgeous, but motion sick inducing, mountains. Stanis actually wanted to show us a lot more than he did but after about 4 hours in the van, my crew decided to head back and reached the ship only 1:20 later. Total tour time = 5 hours. Total time riding up, down and all around = 3 hours.

Let me be clear, if there was any mistake made, it was mine. If you don’t mind the ride, Stanis is one TERRIFIC guide and you can see the volcano, the rain forest, the falls, the Pitons and everything else.

And the ultimate mission objective - St. Maarten.

St. Maarten is the one Island I would actually go back to for a land vacation. Last time down, the wife and I "rode the fence" and my son decided he HAD to challenge a 747.

I can’t improve on what I wrote then so the next post is a repeat post with an update at the end.

Edited May 12, 2015 by JohnGaltny

[JohnGaltny]

Reprint from my Freedom Review

St. Maarten - A Special Kind of Stupid and the Death of Innocent Sunglasses

 

The primary mission objective of this cruise was to get blown into the water by a 747 at Sunset Beach. While the objective was not attained, we came darn close and proved that stupid is no respecter of age and maturity (or lack thereof).

 

We arrived at Sunset Beach (confusingly also called MoHo by many) and it was GORGEOUS. I don’t like beaches over much (OK I hate them most times), but this was really terrific. It had very little crowding, a full bar and grill, people renting and selling anything beach related and Julianna Airport 50 feet away. The water was so clear we could see the bottom which would definitely NOT be an advantage in New York.

 

At about 11:00 AM the planes started landing. HUZZAH, here is our raison d’etre for the cruise. It really is something weird to stand in the water and watch a jet aimed seemingly at your nose until it starts it’s flare and passes over at approximately 50' AGL. We did this several times for an hour or so until the real excitement started. Those jets started taking off.

 

The custom in St. Maarten is that when a jet lines up on the runway, one can scurry from the beach right behind it and then hang on to the fence while it spools up the engines for takeoff. This results in an intense few seconds of high winds and being pelted by every stray stone on the runway. Yes, to my weird little group, this is called fun.

 

The first jet to take off was an Embraer 190, a smaller jet that posted about 150 feet from the threshold, blasted us for 10 seconds or so and then took off. It was actually fun and we learned right away that protective eye gear was a good idea in the midst of lunacy.

 

Having done so well, we decided to challenge the 737 that was # 2 for takeoff. The first officer actually waved to us as they lined up on the center line. Given what happened next he was probably thinking "bye bye chumps" and for good reason.

 

Takeoff in St. Maarten aims the nose of the aircraft square at a mountain range off the far end of the runway. Thus the larger jets take position MUCH closer to the threshold and spool up for much longer times. So we took our positions behind those huge engines, waited a minute or two and then

 

WHAM–hell’s own hairdryer.

 

With a larger jet, much closer to the fence, not only was the blast effect triple what we expected but the heat dried my wife’s hair. Along about 10 seconds in, my innocent sunglasses took leave of my face never to be seen again. By the time Mr. 737 started it’s takeoff roll I was well and truly convinced my personal bucket list did not need to be terminated by challenging the Air France A-380 that arrives every Thursday.

UPDATED TO 2015

Having re-read the above I can tell you it’s just as much fun, and just as incredibly stupid, as it was then.

We actually got to challenge the KLM 747 and, mirabile dictu, it was easier than the 737 last time if only because the KLM pilot turned onto the runway and ZOOOM - off he went. No long run up for this guy. He must have had an appointment back in Amsterdam cause he took off like a scalded cat.

 

The cab ride from the port to Maho is roughly 30 minutes and pricey at $9.00/person. You can also grab a bus for $2.00 but I cannot imagine how long that ride is.

As I said, I would come back to St. Maarten for a few days. I’d love to see the French side even though I am no longer anywhere near the age where the nude beaches will matter.

I’ll wrap this up on Thursday so check back in.

Edited May 12, 2015 by JohnGaltny

[TigerCruzin]

Not even sailing on this ship, but can't wait to read the rest of the story!

[dolphin27502]

Love this review, thanks!!

[Nic&Greg]

You literally have me LOL!

[Ocean Boy]

The cab ride from the port to Maho is roughly 30 minutes and pricey at $9.00/person. You can also grab a bus for $2.00 but I cannot imagine how long that ride is.

 

We have used the buses before and I remember the trip as being slighly over a half hour. Of course it could vary by traffic conditions.

 

We, too, have had the pleasure of being blasted by everything upto and including a 747 at Maho. I don't care how stupid it is. I'm proud to tell everyone what I have ridden the fence!:)

Edited May 13, 2015 by Ocean Boy

[BonnieSte]

LOVE your style!:D

[BonnieSte]

It's like you were with me on my cruise. You even had the same rooms! I completely agree with everything so far included the room stewart.

[niksmom630]

Another great review! 😂😂

 

Comforting to know that I am not the only one to experience the cruise ship elevator phenomenon.....looking forward to more!

 

 

Sent from my iPad using Forums mobile app

[JTBCruiser]

Sitting at my desk eating lunch and reading the review. Very entertaining. We sail on her in March 2016. Absolutely wonderful recap and review! :cool:

[JohnGaltny]

St. Maarten (Part 2) and Back to San Juan

I almost forgot but Maho beach had a bit more to it than just planes.

As we drove up, my first impression was "where did it go?" The beach itself was about ½ the size from our 2013 visit and the waves were lapping up right against the small hill leading to the beach. Maybe it’s the season or maybe the Island is going all Atlantis on us but the result was a much more crowded beach.

With that said, the bar/restaurant at the end of the beach still posts the airplane schedule, still serves decent food and still offers free drinks to topless women. This trip, we saw 2 out of 3. Damn.

At the far end of the beach, we were greeted by an absolutely hysterical local who happily rented us two loungers and a large umbrella for the $20.00 fee which includes two free beers. The guy sort of resembled an Island version of Willie Nelson, just with 3 extra teeth and we had a great time jiving with him all morning. I am not a beer drinker so I have no idea whether the free local beer is excellent or just recycled storm sewage and I cannot help you all on that aspect.

Lastly, I am a hobby photographer and my summer project is a total ripoff of the SI Swimsuit Issue. While we hadn’t planned it, my model DiL and I saw a perfect spot to start the project and so she tolerated being pounded by waves every 30 seconds or so to get in a quick shoot. For those who think modeling is easy, here ya go:

By the way, if any SOPOs have gotten this far and want to report me to the principal for this picture, just know that I am still wating for my steak knives after my fifth warning so feel free to help me out with that.

We left Maho with plenty of time to spare so 30 min (and another $40.00) later we returned to the port for the mandatory shopping tour. Fortunately for me, my family does not care for lacquered blowfish or knock off handbags so the costs were somewhat less that the taxi rides back and forth. WHEWWWW.

Back aboard Adventure we again took advantage of the fact that 3/4 of our shipmates were off getting drunk ashore, almost certainly at less cost than doing it aboard. This freed up the pools and especially Adventure Ocean for our 2 ½ year old boss who ran the wife and I ragged on the water slides. I really think and Olypic event should be the "Toddler Decathalon" and I am willing to bet my house that the athletes give up before any 5 three year olds. She didn’t need the nap.....WE did.

At sailaway it was time for one of my favorite cruise event, the " Dock Runner Sprint". It is almost always more entertaining than any of the sugar coated, Osmond bland theater shows aboard. This trip we had them in almost every port and invariably the last 3 minutes before the brow was pulled had the dock looking like a herd of elephant seals had invaded from the Antarctic. Apparently there is some magnetic field in the Islands that causes watches to cease working and nobody can figure out what it means when their phone is reading Zulu time (Greenwich Mean Time).

Anyway, our last night aboard was a great time with before dinner drinks, a last terrific evening with Binu and Lucia, the Schooner for drinks, the Casino (where my kids won $170.00 between them), the Schooner for drinks, up to Café Promenade for midrats and back to the Schooner for (you guessed it) some drinks.

Debarking was pretty standard RCI efficient but, honestly, it seemed somewhat slower than usual. The result of waiting in a line usually meant getting to another line to wait on. For those new to the Customs gig, I cannot recommend hiring/bribing a local porter too highly. Not only do they slog the bags for you but they have their "special" customs line that is about 1/3 the wait of the turista brigade.

I’ll do one more post to kind of sum up this little rant and then watch quietly as this thread drifts off into that very special species of celestial ether known on Cruise Critic as Page 2.

[finz2u]

Always love reading your reviews. Your descriptions brought back fond memories of being on the Jewel out of San Juan. Apparently some groups and behaviors are universal to cruising.

 

We'll be on the Adventure in 2 years (yes, I sinned again and booked another). After reading your review, I wish it were sooner.