Budgets for older children

[Havingfun2010]

We just made the decision to do a Carnival cruise next August (2016) for our oldest daughter and her boyfriend as a 21st birthday celebration and our younger son as a high school graduation gift. The subject came up about how much the older two are allowed to spend on drinks and if there was an unlimited package. We'd like to treat them to a reasonable number of drinks, but we feel the Cheers package could either be abused or simply not worth the money. So, we figure a budget of $25 per day is reasonable and for my 18 year old as well. Obviously he won't be drinking, but why should they have a bigger budget because they are?

 

So, is there a way to pre-pay their account by a certain amount per person and not per cabin? And then have any unused funds (probably for my younger one) be refunded?

 

Why not just give them their cash gift, and let them each link their own card. That way, if they go over, it's their issue. Plus, it's not really relevant than how much they spend, since you stated you are talking about adults.

[mbalmr71]

Each time I cruise with my kids I give them charging priv. on my SS card and go to guest services and assign a spending limit. They have been able to do it every time. I don't think they will do a daily limit as they just put a max on each individual card. With us it is not a credit to them that they have to use or lose, simply a maximum they can charge to the account.

 

For older "kids" If you want to contribute to their fun but not restrict it otherwise they will need to fund their own SS account and you can have guest services add funds to it. In this case it is a one time payment of sorts. I have never bothered to find out if or how they can claim any unused funds but it would be my guess that it would be similar to any other OBC.

[skittl1321]

Agreed, that is enough, @ 21 and legal drinking age, then they should be on their own, when we decided to take a cruise when our oldest was 21 she was excited until...................we cut the stings, at 21 and on their own they are responsible for their vacation costs. She was more then welcome to go but at her expense, there comes a time to pay for yourself we all went threw that and now is the time IMHO.

 

 

Everyone's experience is different though. When I was 21, my parents were paying for my rent and giving me a reasonable allowance for expenses such as gas and groceries. I was told "school is my job". I WANTED to get a job while going to school, and they told me that was fine, but that if I did, they wouldn't be paying my expenses anymore, because I wasn't putting full effort into what they assigned as my job. I wasn't stupid, so I didn't get one. (My actual school was paid by scholarship.)

 

Other 21-year-olds live completely independently.

 

So if they invited me on a cruise (they didn't)- I would have clearly expected them to pay. But $25 a day discretionary spending would have been very nice. Because it is totally possible to not spend anything at all.

Edited July 10, 2015 by skittl1321

[RaiderFaninNM]

Everyone's experience is different though. When I was 21, my parents were paying for my rent and giving me a reasonable allowance for expenses such as gas and groceries. I was told "school is my job". I WANTED to get a job while going to school, and they told me that was fine, but that if I did, they wouldn't be paying my expenses anymore, because I wasn't putting full effort into what they assigned as my job. I wasn't stupid, so I didn't get one. (My actual school was paid by scholarship.)

 

Other 21-year-olds live completely independently.

 

So if they invited me on a cruise (they didn't)- I would have clearly expected them to pay. But $25 a day discretionary spending would have been very nice. Because it is totally possible to not spend anything at all.

 

Even so at 21 and going to school there comes a time, as an adult of age, they are your children and not "kids", and a time to assume your own responsibility and quit thinking mom and dad will pay for it. If nothing more then respect, then I am not sure where it stops, cars, houses.....:confused:

 

My dad worked, my mother was a stay at home mom and cared for us all with all of the mom duties, that was tough job. When we turned 18 it was time for us kids to pay for our things, vacations included, maybe we were different. I see someone at 21 as an adult, sure we had 1 live with us till she was 22 but she was for the most part independent, her choice. School is very important but paying for their booze is wild in MHO.

[audcc77]

OP, I had a similar situation last year.

 

For our 13-y/o DS we just put about $25 or so on his card to spend it at the arcade, smoothies, etc. We still bought him small gifts, a t-shirt, etc. He ended up putting an additional $35 of his own money on his S&S card and blew it at the arcade. He's sorry now b/c he still has not put that money back in the bank.

 

For our 22-y/o DS we did not put anything on his card but told him whatever he bought, then he'd pay for it. I never dreamed that he'd still go crazy with spending. We said we'd buy him drinks throughout the cruise if he were sitting with us when we bought our own. This happened many times. Throughout the cruise I monitored his S&S card and kept harping at him, even having DH haul him out of the casino once. At the end of the cruise, between the drinking and gambling, he had a $700 S&S card bill. :eek: For someone who is supposed to be helping pay for college while home during the summer, we were furious. These days he is also regretful b/c now that he is on the verge of graduating, he has almost no money at all.

 

Hopefully, learning this experience with small amounts of money is better than later on with larger amounts.

[skittl1321]

Even so at 21 and going to school there comes a time, as an adult of age, they are your children and not "kids", and a time to assume your own responsibility and quit thinking mom and dad will pay for it. If nothing more then respect, then I am not sure where it stops, cars, houses.....:confused:

 

My dad worked, my mother was a stay at home mom and cared for us all with all of the mom duties, that was tough job. When we turned 18 it was time for us kids to pay for our things, vacations included, maybe we were different. I see someone at 21 as an adult, sure we had 1 live with us till she was 22 but she was for the most part independent, her choice. School is very important but paying for their booze is wild in MHO.

 

 

Like I said, every family is different. I WANTED to work, and my parents told me I couldn't at 21. (Well, I could have- but what I could have made at a part time job would have been drastically less than what they were giving me. That just would have been dumb.)

 

The day I graduated undergrad I handed my gas card back to my parents and have been an independent adult since then. So that's exactly where it stopped for me. I didn't become some spoiled boomerang kid. I know I was very fortunate to be subsidized through college (my tuition was scholarshipped); it didn't prevent me from being very financially stable, or create a permanent dependency when I finished school. I got 4 years from when I graduated high school and was on my own. I wasn't given a choice about going to college, it was an expectation, and school was my job- so they paid for me to live when I was in school. Once I wasn't in school, my job became my job- and it paid my living expenses.

 

I think it is more than generous of the OP to want to subsidize her children's drinking on a cruise, and I don't think she should feel she has to go overboard and cover every penny they spend, I think limits are 100% appropriate; but it is completely possible that at 21, while a legal adult, children are not separate financial entities from their parents.

Edited July 10, 2015 by skittl1321

[thomarvin]

I have kids 22 and 20. I tell them I will pay for your cruise and tips. I will buy you a soda card if you wish (neither drinks much soda so they both refused) But all alcohol and gambling is on them. I think it is very generous of you to take your daughters BF for the trip as well. I think that is good enough a gift.

[Jdfireman]

We just made the decision to do a Carnival cruise next August (2016) for our oldest daughter and her boyfriend as a 21st birthday celebration and our younger son as a high school graduation gift. The subject came up about how much the older two are allowed to spend on drinks and if there was an unlimited package. We'd like to treat them to a reasonable number of drinks, but we feel the Cheers package could either be abused or simply not worth the money. So, we figure a budget of $25 per day is reasonable and for my 18 year old as well. Obviously he won't be drinking, but why should they have a bigger budget because they are?

 

So, is there a way to pre-pay their account by a certain amount per person and not per cabin? And then have any unused funds (probably for my younger one) be refunded?

 

plan the budget on what you can afford not what CC members suggest

[loxley]

Oh heck, my kids are in their 30's and when we go to the store together I buy whatever they pick up and my kids are fine.

 

I think $25 a day is generous for the 18 yr old, but I understand wanting to be fair.

 

I think I would make it easy on myself and just give them the cash and let them go put it on their accounts. They can do that at the machines very easily. If they lose it before they get it into the machine, oh well. Lessons learned the hard way seem to stick the best.

[Viv0828]

When we cruise with our adult son who has money management issues, we pay for his cruise, flight, pre cruise hotel, excursions, and tips plus we give him a specific amount of money at the beginning of the cruise.

 

He used to spend everything we gave him plus a good chunk more (his to deal with) but now he generally goes home with more than he came with.

Edited July 10, 2015 by Viv0828

[E&B]

Just wanted to state for the record, this was a thread about how to specifically handle what we had already decided to do. It wasn't to ask for opinions or be judged. My kids are both good with money. I haven't given either an allowance for years. Both have worked since they were about 11. First babysitting and refereeing soccer games and now bussing tables and being a home health aid. The older one pays for her own gas, spending money and books, which as a nursing major are not cheap. I don't need to be judged for treating them to a vacation and some spending money.

[Lurkyloo]

If you are paying for cruise, transportation to and from cruise, and tips - I would say for 21 year olds that should be more than enough and can be bought ahead of time. Then their Sail and Sign card for drinks and souvenirs can be on their own credit card and their own dime.

 

For the 18 year old I would probably get them the unlimited soda card if they enjoy those drinks add $20 to $25 a day.

 

Last time we cruised with my son, he was 16, but (as on every cruise with him) we bought the soda card and told him he had up to $20 a day to spend on whatever he wanted and he was happy with that and always stayed within his limit.

 

It's really personal though, and depends on what YOU want to do for them. There is no right or wrong way to handle it. Hope you all have a lovely cruise.

[Lurkyloo]

Just wanted to state for the record, this was a thread about how to specifically handle what we had already decided to do. It wasn't to ask for opinions or be judged. My kids are both good with money. I haven't given either an allowance for years. Both have worked since they were about 11. First babysitting and refereeing soccer games and now bussing tables and being a home health aid. The older one pays for her own gas, spending money and books, which as a nursing major are not cheap. I don't need to be judged for treating them to a vacation and some spending money.

 

Opps - didn't read the whole thread before responding :o! Hopefully you don't think my post judgemental, I was just stating how I personally would handle it. I am a total softy and was buying him stuff in the shops if he wanted something and we were together - same with when on excursions. It's a cruise and these are your kids - do what you can afford and what makes you happy! I love spoiling my kids a bit on vacations and as a parent - that's my right! ;) As I have always thought of it, you are building a wonderful memory that they will always remember!

[trixiegal]

Just wanted to state for the record, this was a thread about how to specifically handle what we had already decided to do. It wasn't to ask for opinions or be judged. My kids are both good with money. I haven't given either an allowance for years. Both have worked since they were about 11. First babysitting and refereeing soccer games and now bussing tables and being a home health aid. The older one pays for her own gas, spending money and books, which as a nursing major are not cheap. I don't need to be judged for treating them to a vacation and some spending money.

 

 

People on CC will throw their opinions at you whether solicited or not. Just comes with the territory but I applaud you for replying that is NOT what you asked for in your original post. However, it will probably fall on deaf ears.

 

Anywhoo... I would suggest you buy all 3 of the "kids" gift cards ahead of time with whatever amount on each you want to give them. You can actually buy Cruise Cash for them online, too. And it will be applied to their accounts. Less hassle than dealing with guest services and the usual line. When I'm on vacation, I do not want to stand in line dealing with administrative issues. I'm missing important activities like sipping on a margarita on deck! [emoji6]

[pjhootch]

Tough crowd here, huh? If you want to give a cruise as a gift to your adult children, you aren't doing anything wrong. rofl. We have taken our adult kids with us on a cruise. They can't afford to go on their own and they really can't afford drinks on the cruise ship either. I am well aware of that when I tell them the cruise is their birthday/christmas/graduation/whatever gift.

 

You can set up the charging accounts a number of ways. You can use your own card and set a spending limit for each person. I have found that to be the easiest- because you don't need to worry about getting a refund on unused $$. However, if you are trying to not rack up charges on a card- or "holds" on a debit card, you can simply put cash on each account instead. Any left over will be refunded if not used, but not cash in your hand at the end of the cruise.

 

As for how much... if you are comfortable with $25 a day per person- that is what you should do. It is enough for a couple of specialty drinks or a bucket of beer daily (maybe not quite anymore- but it is close). Or - a couple of virgin drinks and soda or whatever like that.

 

As someone who has done what you are planning, I agree that the drink package is a bad idea, and would really discourage it even if they were planning to use their own money to purchase it instead of mine.

[diasmiles]

We just made the decision to do a Carnival cruise next August (2016) for our oldest daughter and her boyfriend as a 21st birthday celebration and our younger son as a high school graduation gift. The subject came up about how much the older two are allowed to spend on drinks and if there was an unlimited package. We'd like to treat them to a reasonable number of drinks, but we feel the Cheers package could either be abused or simply not worth the money. So, we figure a budget of $25 per day is reasonable and for my 18 year old as well. Obviously he won't be drinking, but why should they have a bigger budget because they are?

 

So, is there a way to pre-pay their account by a certain amount per person and not per cabin? And then have any unused funds (probably for my younger one) be refunded?

 

I think $25 per day is reasonable. You can go to guest services and put the money into their individual S&S cards. Your younger son may find it difficult to spend the money on the ship (not sure if you are getting him Bottomless Bubbles), maybe you would consider not putting all the money you have budgeted for him on S&S card so he could spend some of it in the ports.

[bborgeson]

There isn't a daily limit you can set, but you can set a total spending limit for the week or set a limit and increase it each day by $25.

 

You can do this at the guest desk or at the self serve kiosks. This is what I do for my kids for the arcade and other stuff.

[momof3cruisers]

Just wanted to state for the record, this was a thread about how to specifically handle what we had already decided to do. It wasn't to ask for opinions or be judged. My kids are both good with money. I haven't given either an allowance for years. Both have worked since they were about 11. First babysitting and refereeing soccer games and now bussing tables and being a home health aid. The older one pays for her own gas, spending money and books, which as a nursing major are not cheap. I don't need to be judged for treating them to a vacation and some spending money.

 

I read it as you were giving this as a gift for birthday and graduation and I think it's a very nice thing to do. Hopefully, you have gotten your question about how to put some money on each account.

 

From our experience, for your son, I would suggest just giving him the money since you want the amount to be fair. My kids tend to spend a lot more money off of the ship than on it. It might be fun for him to get a couple of tshirts, baseball hat etc. mine were younger teens but had earned some money from extra chores etc and we gave them some as well. If they bought something on the ship, it went on our card and they just gave us the receipt and the cash. (And actually, they were all so responsible with their spending, we gave it all back to them at our last port for souvenirs.)

 

Have a great trip.

[chipmaster]

We just made the decision to do a Carnival cruise next August (2016) for our oldest daughter and her boyfriend as a 21st birthday celebration and our younger son as a high school graduation gift. The subject came up about how much the older two are allowed to spend on drinks and if there was an unlimited package. We'd like to treat them to a reasonable number of drinks, but we feel the Cheers package could either be abused or simply not worth the money. So, we figure a budget of $25 per day is reasonable and for my 18 year old as well. Obviously he won't be drinking, but why should they have a bigger budget because they are?

 

So, is there a way to pre-pay their account by a certain amount per person and not per cabin? And then have any unused funds (probably for my younger one) be refunded?

 

If you are treating them to the cruise, let them cover the other stuff, that is a treat in itself and let them budget accordingly.

 

I've always felt with my kids we pay for some and the rest is their money, even if it is really my money. Don't let them budget and they will lose any feeling for budgeting :D