Pulling teens out of school

[bwjm]

My daughter wants to take a friend on her cruise. I need help to talk to the friends' parents about the educational benefit of taking her out of school for a week.

Both girls are level headed, mature, and honor roll students. I made the decision to take my daughter out because I'm sure this will be a once in a lifetime experience for her.

However, the other girls parents are more hesitant than I am. Can anybody help me with educational benefits of putting their daughter on a ship with me, as opposed to leaving her at home?

Thanks

teen mom...

[TennisLover]

I definitely think there are educational benefits, depending on what you do in each port, but you have to balance it with what is being missed in school -- not that work can't be made up, but the workload and stress it causes are probably considerations for your daughter's friend's parents.

 

If you are truly planning an educational cruise, show the other parents the itinerary and what you are doing in each port (and how you are makiing it educational).

 

There's been much on these board about taking kids out of school to cruise. I wouldn't hesitate to take kids out in elementary school (wish I did it more when my kids were younger), but now I wouldn't do it (one in MS and one in HS). They are both honor roll students and I can't imagine the stress taking them out for a week would cause.

 

I think that each parent has to decide what is right for them (and their child). I would be hard-pressed to try to convince another parent to see it my way. JMO...

[crusinmama06]

Frankly it's going to be a tough fight if they are already "hesitant". Some parents wouldn't dream of pulling their kids out of school, no matter what. I have friends that won't even pull their preschooler and 1st grader out of school. I always joke with them "What are they going to miss, coloring?" ;)

 

I am assuming you have already put the invite out there? If they haven't said yes then let it go.

 

I learned alot traveling as a kid with my parents. It's the reason that I travel so much with my girls now.

 

But don't cause a rift between you and the other girl's parents. You were generous to offer to bring her. The ball is in their park now. :)

[msmayor]

Many schools have strict attendance requirements, and perhaps the other parents are concerned about their daughter pushing up too close to the limits.

 

My kids will miss school for our upcoming cruise, but only two days. Despite the cruise lasting a week, NJ schools are closed for Election Day and Teacher Convention that week, so they'll miss only Monday and Wednesday.

 

If it was a full week of school, it wouldn't matter what the educational benefits are of the trip. We wouldn't be going, because my kids can't miss more than 3 days per semester before facing credit make-up days.

[crusinmama06]

Many schools have strict attendance requirements, and perhaps the other parents are concerned about their daughter pushing up too close to the limits.

 

My kids will miss school for our upcoming cruise, but only two days. Despite the cruise lasting a week, NJ schools are closed for Election Day and Teacher Convention that week, so they'll miss only Monday and Wednesday.

 

If it was a full week of school, it wouldn't matter what the educational benefits are of the trip. We wouldn't be going, because my kids can't miss more than 3 days per semester before facing credit make-up days.

 

That's a good point! Our school district allows 5 "family vacation" days. It says in the guide book that they feel family time away is very important :) Anything over 5 days requires a release from the superintendant

[reallyitsmema]

I think it really depends on the age of these "teens". If they are younger then I don't see it being a big issue. If we are talking about older teens in high school then I can see why the other family is hesitant. My son is a junior in high school and his school is very much against unexcused absences. He carries a heavy workload and it is not worth putting the stress on him even if the teachers would agree to giving him work in advance. Missed science labs would be another problem as he is currently taking two sciences. Plus if the girls are involved in varsity sports, missing practices and games can cause you to lose a starting spot.

 

I would love to take vacations as we did in the past but for now we will pay a premium and travel in the summer.

[clansac]

First I'd made sure it's the "education" they're worried about and not money. I know I was invited many times to go on vacation with friends but my parents couldn't afford it so school was always the excuse they gave.

 

If it really is school, I'd show them the itinerary and also let them know that you will have set times that the girls will be working on their independent study packets from school :). In high school, the teachers should be able to give you work in advance that they can do while on vacation- math and language arts are very portable subjects! Make sure you know your school's policy because they may be hesitant because they don't know the rules.

 

good luck!

[6rugrats]

Another pulling kids out of school thread. I take my children out of school for vacation, but will probably stop soon, as my DS is getting older and just misses too much, even if he takes the work.

 

Most schools have some sort of home study or independent study program, in which you arrange with the school for the child to take their work with them. I highly advise you check this out with your school and have all your information together before talking to the parents.

 

No idea where you are cruising, but can honestly say that our last cruise in the Caribbean was really not educational in the traditional sense at all; just fun. And nothing wrong with that, but don't try to sell something if it does not exist.

 

Hopefully, this will not be a once-in-a lifetime experience for your daughter and she will have many such travel experiences.

[bwjm]

The school does allow for family travel. I have talked to principal on this, and he stated that it would also be applied to the other student, as she will be in a 'family' unit.

The school even allows for them to take their studies along.

 

This, I am sure, will be a once in a lifetime event for these two. I'm getting my first chance at the age of 40! :eek: This is also a big group/family thing. The town police chief is even involved, and going on his first cruise ever, also.

 

We are small town people, this opportunity doesn't come up very often. These are level headed, honor roll students.

 

I will take all the comments into consdieration, and got the OK from her dad, just waiting on her mother. I am paying for the cruise. I'm not the kind of parent to invite a kid to go someplace, but excpect them to pay. I asked her to go, and I will pay.

[DiveCruiser]

We always use the excuss on how educating and how seeing different culture can help our kids. We also make them get there homework assignments ahead of time. Them set a day before we cruise on when it will get done. My daughter tries toget it done before we leave so she can enjoy the entire cruise.

[jetskier]

A couple of things you will have to get in advance.

A passport or PassCard will be required for you to travel.

A letter from the other child's parents authorizing her to travel with you out of the country.

A letter from the other child's parents authorizing you to approve medical care.

 

We are taking our daughters out twice this year. They will miss 4 days over the Labor Day week. And then 3 days the first week of November.

 

Dave

[kitty9]

Here's something else to consider: while it's very, very kind of you to offer this cruise, is it possible that you could be causing a rift between the parents? If one parent says yes and the other says no, you're continuing to push this issue could cause some problems, not only between the parents, but with the parent saying no and the child who proably wants to go. My feeling is, let it go. Don't push either parent. They need to make their own decision without interferrence. I know that if I were the parents who were saying no, and someone continued to push the idea, I would have some hard feelings. I know that I surely wouldn't want to be the cause of fighting in a family. You made your points as to the positive nature of the cruise, so now you have to let it alone for a while and let the parents make their decision. You sound very excited for your trip, and that's wonderful, but to be honest, backing off here might be the best idea, at least for a while.

[miami]

Sorry, if I were the other parent and I would not appreciate being pressured to allow my child to go. It is their decision and you should accept it. Not everyone agrees with the "educational" value of taking a cruise.

[meatball77]

I agree with miami

 

You're not going to Russia or Italy to see museums, you're going to beaches and to lie around a pool and eat good food. It's no more educational than disneyworld. It's a vacation. If your district allows education days then I guess that works for you, I've never heard of that. You won't be able to convice another parent that a cruise is educational because it's not when compared to going to school. If you want to take your child out and not feel bad about it that's fine but don't pressure another's to do the same and make sure that you arn't making that childs parents the "bad guy" because they're doing what they feel is right.

 

As for cruising being a once in a lifetime opportunity, I hope you want more for your child than that. Anyone can go on a cruise now that discount lines like Carnival have made them accessable. I'm sure both of these girls will have an opportunity to go on a cruise at some point in their lives if they want to.

[Cruisin' Chick]

I agree with the others about not trying to pressure the other parents'. There could be a number of reasons they would be uncomfortable about their child going on a cruise with you. Don't take it personally. but it is their decision and you don't want to cause a riff, even between the two girls.

 

Your daughter will find things to do on her own. The one thing to consider is that if most kids are in school at this time, your daughter will have less companions to hang with (maybe some homeschooled kids or some on a different track system, if she's lucky).

[lddam]

I made the decision to take my daughter out because I'm sure this will be a once in a lifetime experience for her.

However, the other girls parents are more hesitant than I am. ..

 

I have agree with those who are suggesting that it might be a good idea not to press the issue with the other child's parents. They are hesitant for a reason...whatever that might be. They seem to have made a decision regarding their daughter. That decision ought to be respected without undue pressure upon them to reverse their position simply for the sake of satisfying your daughter's need for companionship.

 

In all probability, your entire family, including your daughter, will have a great time on the cruise. Rather than expending energy trying to convince the other parents to change their minds, accept it and move on in the anticipation of a great family experience.

[Debbers]

I wonder if perhaps the girl is simply reluctant to leave her home and family, and her parents are covering for her using school as an excuse. Many young people (and some not so young) are timid about leaving home and traveling to a distant place, particularly without their own families. No doubt you are an admirable chaperone, as well as a generous friend, but you aren't the young lady's own parent.

 

Just speculation, of course. However, like many of the other posters, I think it's time to back off. You have made your invitation, and like another other offer, if it is declined you must accept that graciously.

[bwjm]

I see this was taken a little out of context, and now I feel bad for even asking in the first place.

I'm not pressing the parents - I haven't even talked to them. I would NEVER put pressure on other parents to let someone take their childout of the country, out of school, and away from family. That is just not how I am, or how you should handle this type of situation. I know it is THEIR decision, and THEIR decision alone. I didn't mean to give the impression that I was putting pressure on these parents to make such a decision.

 

It is an excused absense from their school. They get 5 family vacation days a year, and this would also be included in that. When I talked to the school, I did NOT specify WHO MIGHT be going with us, just mentioned that she (my DD) MIGHT take a friend from school, and would they also be covered, even though it is NOT the other girls family. He stated 'yes', as it will be a family environment she will be in.

 

I guess I'm sorry to have opened this can of worms, but it was my own fault, and I'm sorry to all I have upset. I just wanted to clarify that I'm not putting pressure on the parents. I thank you all for your input on this.

 

Just please, rest assured I'm not putting pressure on the parents. I'm sorry if you thought I was.

[CruizinMom2c]

I see no problem with taking them out of school for a week. I went on vacations all the time when I was in highschool...I never had problems catching up on work. But if the other girl can not make it..I am sure your daughter will have a great time...there is so much to do on the ship...that even without having her friend..she will still have a great time.

 

 

Good luck with talking with the parents..I understood in your first post that you weren't pressuring the parents...not sure why that was taken out of context. Sounds like you are doing everything right..by talking with the principal...and getting all the info about taking them out of school.

[bwjm]

I was just looking for reassurance, that I'm not alone, in wanting to pull kids out of school for the trip. It is my first cruise, but I figure there has to be some educational experience to it (it is the first time for most of us to even get on a plane!) and was looking for ideas.:confused:

 

The parents are leaning torward letting her go, at least according to her. I wasn't looking for ideas on how to press or convince the parents that she HAS to go. I just know how I am as a parent, and I wanted to be able to answer questions they might have.

 

I did have some ideas emailed to me, as to some 'edutainment' available on ships, so that was helpful, too. It won't all be educational, I understand.

[wrp96]

It may be that they want to use the family vacation days for a trip together as a family.

 

And if you haven't talked to the parents you should do that first. IMO it was not a good idea to talk to the girl about it until you'd talked to the parents about it.

[bwjm]

I've talked/asked them about her going, gave them in information, told them I would try to answer any questions, and have NOT talked to them since. I did ask them first.;)

[abitaturbodog]

Just so you know, taking kids out of school for vacation is a hot button on this board. Nobody seems to agree and they just argue back and forth for months! So, it's not you people are being snippy with...it's the topic.;)

 

IMO, I wouldn't want to be responsible for somone else's child, especially out of the country. The list of "what could go wrong" is very long and I'd rather not take that chance.

 

Whether the parents want you to take their daughter or not might not be the important question...it might be whether you should take their daughter.

[jaycor99]

I was just looking for reassurance, that I'm not alone, in wanting to pull kids out of school for the trip

 

 

 

 

do not worry-we have taken our kids (now 21-19-11)out for many years for a family trip

enjoy..have fun-you all will remember the trip for years to come!!

[bwjm]

I see what a 'hot' topic that was, and the very diverse opinions. But, I didn't have to talk to either parent, and they both gave the approval! AND are helping with expenses (for which I was going to pay, but they will also pay part of it, too!)

 

I am happy to know that I will not, hopefully, be ruining my daughters life by pulling her out of school, that she will continue to grow up normally, and it will not make her hate me.

 

I guess the reason I had started this was to see if pulling kids our of school was a 'normal' thing, and I see there are very many different beliefs out there. I was looking for opinions from both sides, and I sure did get them, even if some people thought that I was nagging these parents, which I wasn't.

 

So thank you all, sorry to set some people off, and now I will hopefully have a good cruise!