Learn from my mistakes, lost my kid 3 times in 14 days

[bplazo]

For younger children I always liked the "leash" that strapped to their wrist. My ex and I used to get into an argument because he thought it was like treating her like a dog but I told him that keeping her safe was more important than what he thought :).

[daze6399]

For younger children I always liked the "leash" that strapped to their wrist. My ex and I used to get into an argument because he thought it was like treating her like a dog but I told him that keeping her safe was more important than what he thought :).

I love the leash. We used it extensively at disney world. it was cool for DD (2 1/2 then) to be able to walk around and explore a little but still be safe.

 

daze

[Cuizer2]

For younger children I always liked the "leash" that strapped to their wrist. My ex and I used to get into an argument because he thought it was like treating her like a dog but I told him that keeping her safe was more important than what he thought :).

 

I agree with your husband. Children have hands, so do you. Try holding hands.

[Cuizer2]

I love the leash. We used it extensively at disney world. it was cool for DD (2 1/2 then) to be able to walk around and explore a little but still be safe.

 

daze

 

Why not hold hands and explore with your child?

[tkportersat]

Agreed....Not judging but I personally wouldn't use the leash, I have always thought they seemed demeaning :(

 

 

Why not hold hands and explore with your child?

[bplazo]

I agree with your husband. Children have hands, so do you. Try holding hands.

 

Because I don't want to hold hands and that is why I have a leash!

[kitty9]

I was afraid to post on this thread, for fear of being flamed, but seeing some are of the same opinion, I now will. While terrifying to lose a child in a foreign city, and I'm happy things turned out well for the OP, I read with interest the reason behind two of the incidents. I think we all can agree that one of the major complaints from the kid bashers are the kids running amok on ships. This child was not only allowed to run away in a hallway, but on stairs !!!! That is a disaster waiting to happen. Can you all imagine if this child had run into someone, causing a fall and maybe a serious injury? Can you imagine an elderly person suffering a fractured hip, or worse? Why any child is allowed to run on stairs is beyond me. Sorry, but the notion that a child cannot be controlled is wrong. I taught mentally disabled children for 18 years, and we had absolutely no problem teaching them how to stay together and not run from the group. We took many field trips with our kids and we did not have a child running off----and I had 11 kids in the group. It just takes time to instruct the children the behavior that's expected. This even worked with our hyperactive ADHD children, so it's not impossible. While I applaud the OP having the cojones to admit to these happenings, I do agree with her that this should be a wake up call to all parents to not allow these "running away" incidents on their cruises.

[5waldos]

because she holds hands. Most times in a crowd, my daughter will take my hand before I reach for her.

 

Note please- SHE holds hands.8 yr old girls and 8 yr old boys are a bit different. And lost on a ship is not a big deal- lost in Athens is scary but alls well that ends well. It does happen- and teaching kids what to do is important. We always have a card in their pockets of the hotel we are in with directions as to how to get help. And somehow managed to get them grown up without losing them for more than a short time. (sometimes despite our best efforts!

[Cuizer2]

Because I don't want to hold hands and that is why I have a leash!

 

Well then, I sure you children's teachers had no trouble with your children when they were told to sit and stay.

[5waldos]

Leashes on a 2 year old might be appropriate- on an 8 year old? No.

[Cuizer2]

Leashes on a 2 year old might be appropriate- on an 8 year old? No.

 

Children are not pets.

[5waldos]

Children are not pets.

 

I never used them but can see in crowds why an active 2 year old might have both some freedom and be safe with one. But an 8 year old? Never. Perhaps a better name could have been given to these things.

[Cuizer2]

I never used them but can see in crowds why an active 2 year old might have both some freedom and be safe with one. But an 8 year old? Never. Perhaps a better name could have been given to these things.

 

In a crowd you are going to end up with the same problem as a dog on a leash. You go left, the child goes right and suddenly there is a person between the two of you caught in the leash.

 

Holding hands works much better.

[5waldos]

In a crowd you are going to end up with the same problem as a dog on a leash. You go left, the child goes right and suddenly there is a person between the two of you caught in the leash.

 

Holding hands works much better.

 

A 2 year old is too little to hold hands with unless you are very very short. I have adjusted to the modern world and seeing kids on "leashes". for the very young they seem to feel a sense of freedom. My baby is now nearly 6 ft- he keeps track of me. Don't use them if you don't like them- but holding hands in a crowd with a 2 year old isn't an answer.

[bplazo]

Well then, I sure you children's teachers had no trouble with your children when they were told to sit and stay.

 

She will also speak on command also!

[quincytoo]

She will also speak on command also!

 

ROFL :) I wish I could have taught my kids how to stay quiet on command:D

Personally I don`t see anything wrong with the leashes....especially if it keeps a little one safe...hand holding a 2 year old is quite hard especially for us that are over 5 ft 7 inches........

 

Kudos to the OP for coming on and posting what happened to her, I am sure she will never let her children run through the hallways again.

 

We also used to use the child stay put if the child gets lost.....it makes it easier for the parents to backtrack to lost child also I used to put our cell numbers and hotel or cruise ship and our cell numbers information into our son`s pocket when we were in NYC we travelled with one cell in our pocket and the other cell in his pocket, thankfully we never had to use them.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Often we have to tell our teen not to walk too fast...and even now, when we cross the street or a parking lot, we often hold hands.

 

As she likes to be able to be a bit more independent, we have instructed her to go find the security office, if she's shopping in the mall and can't find us. Especially if she forgot to bring her cell.

[cruisedad521]

Note please- SHE holds hands.8 yr old girls and 8 yr old boys are a bit different. And lost on a ship is not a big deal- lost in Athens is scary but alls well that ends well. It does happen- and teaching kids what to do is important. We always have a card in their pockets of the hotel we are in with directions as to how to get help. And somehow managed to get them grown up without losing them for more than a short time. (sometimes despite our best efforts!

 

 

Please people, stop using the 'boys will be boys' or variations of this excuse. If your child is incapable of holding hands, unable to walk without running or otherwise incapable of behaving properly in public, regardless of gender, please re-evaluate your parenting.

 

As another poster mentioned, there is no reason why ANY child, even those who have issues, cannot learn to behave. It just takes work. If you decided to be a parent, that is now your job.

 

Yes, I totally agree with having a backup plan as to what a child should do when lost (and my daughter has been told to wait where she is, we would find her) and making sure that a child knows where they are staying when not at home, but these are BACK-UP plans, not a parenting replacement.

 

Watch your kids, hold their hands, and take them off the leash (let them

learn with dignity). It is your responsibilty as a parent to see that they grow up to be functioning members of society and the time to do that is when they are young.

 

I personally am tired of parents who won't do what they need to to take care of their children, whine about how hard it is and that the child just won't do what they are asked. It is your job to make them do it. By not accepting this responsibility, at worst you are putting your child at risk, as well as those around them. At best, you are just making things very unpleasant for the rest of us who are trying to have as nice time without running, screaming children everywhere.

[Cuizer2]

Please people, stop using the 'boys will be boys' or variations of this excuse. If your child is incapable of holding hands, unable to walk without running or otherwise incapable of behaving properly in public, regardless of gender, please re-evaluate your parenting.

 

As another poster mentioned, there is no reason why ANY child, even those who have issues, cannot learn to behave. It just takes work. If you decided to be a parent, that is now your job.

 

Yes, I totally agree with having a backup plan as to what a child should do when lost (and my daughter has been told to wait where she is, we would find her) and making sure that a child knows where they are staying when not at home, but these are BACK-UP plans, not a parenting replacement.

 

Watch your kids, hold their hands, and take them off the leash (let them

learn with dignity). It is your responsibilty as a parent to see that they grow up to be functioning members of society and the time to do that is when they are young.

 

I personally am tired of parents who won't do what they need to to take care of their children, whine about how hard it is and that the child just won't do what they are asked. It is your job to make them do it. By not accepting this responsibility, at worst you are putting your child at risk, as well as those around them. At best, you are just making things very unpleasant for the rest of us who are trying to have as nice time without running, screaming children everywhere.

 

No wonder there are behavior problems. Apparently some parents these days don't know the difference between a child and a pet.

[daze6399]

Why not hold hands and explore with your child?

 

Because I'm nearly 6ft tall, and holding her hand was painful for both of us.

 

Because teaching her to explore on her OWN is an important part of growing up.

 

We use a backpack type leash. She actually likes the thing. It very rarely gets used any more, but she still plays with it at home.

 

A quick question for the perfect parents out there, your 2/3 year old has never pulled their hands out of yours, even just for a second?

In busy place, WDW, a mall parking lot those 2 seconds could be a matter of life and death.

Don't tell me your two year old listens to you immediately because they just don't respond that quickly, in my experience. I really feel for a two year old that is so terrified of their parents that they will stop what they are doing instantly. Mine listens to me, but it takes a second for her to respond.

I also feel for a child that is not encouraged to explore on their own (within reason for that child/age of course)

 

daze

[daze6399]

 

 

 

Watch your kids, hold their hands, and take them off the leash (let them

learn with dignity). It is your responsibilty as a parent to see that they grow up to be functioning members of society and the time to do that is when they are young.

 

 

Ahhh yes the dignity of a CHILD who is just as willing to poop on the floor, their pants or the toilet. Yes these miniature adults are totally worried about what someone else thinks of them.

 

Give me a break, most kids I know actually prefer their leash to holding hands. They are not yet old enough to walk next to you. Kids see something and they want to touch/eat/play with it. If they run out into the street cuz they saw a shiny whatever and get hit by a car you may not have enough time to stop them. No thanks, I'll put my kid on a leash.

 

As an aside, my almost four year old daughter no longer uses her leash, and she walks beside me and holds my hand when she needs to, in parking lots and street crossings etc. She will walk with me and not hold my hand when it is safe to do so like inside a store or in the mall.

 

But we still work everyday on staying with me and not running off, because she's four and she still gets excited about something and wants to look at it.

[5waldos]

For what it is worth- I had 3 children, all with ADHD. Never even considered a leash. It was hard hard work but they did learn to behave- and travel. i have taken then around the world, literally. They have sat through tortuous 12 hour plane rides without loosing it (I on the other hand....:o) . We have been stuck in strange places with all our money and documents stolen. They always knew what to do if they were lost. And when they needed to absolutely toe the line and when they could hack off a bit. And I was lucky- none of them ever got lost. I had one who loved to explore and would- he always knew exactly where I was. I had one who clung and was sure that the other was lost all the time. It is hard work having kids. but lots of it was fun. But parents are people too and anyone who believes that you can have complete control of a child 24/7 has never had a child. They are fast and they are slippery and they are small. And they very much have minds of their own. And sometimes act on impulses that you as a parent can't even imagine. My daughter ran across a busy street in London. And we had been holding hands. But our hands weren't glued together- she slipped out and was gone. Why? who knows. She was a kid. Kids do things like that. did I feel guilty? Not for a second. I had done everything I could to teach and protect her and she made the decision to run. At some point it is important to realize that these small things are individuals too.

[Cuizer2]

Ahhh yes the dignity of a CHILD who is just as willing to poop on the floor, their pants or the toilet. Yes these miniature adults are totally worried about what someone else thinks of them.

 

Give me a break, most kids I know actually prefer their leash to holding hands. They are not yet old enough to walk next to you. Kids see something and they want to touch/eat/play with it. If they run out into the street cuz they saw a shiny whatever and get hit by a car you may not have enough time to stop them. No thanks, I'll put my kid on a leash.

 

As an aside, my almost four year old daughter no longer uses her leash, and she walks beside me and holds my hand when she needs to, in parking lots and street crossings etc. She will walk with me and not hold my hand when it is safe to do so like inside a store or in the mall.

 

But we still work everyday on staying with me and not running off, because she's four and she still gets excited about something and wants to look at it.

 

Parenting comes with many pleasures and many responsibilities. If you want to be a parent, then you have to accept the responsibilities of being a parent, which includes cleaning up after a child that is too young to clean up after him/her self.

[daze6399]

Parenting comes with many pleasures and many responsibilities. If you want to be a parent, then you have to accept the responsibilities of being a parent, which includes cleaning up after a child that is too young to clean up after him/her self.

 

 

Excellent response that is semantically null. You responded to nothing I said. Of course you clean up after a child. Of course you take responsibility for your child. What are you talking about?

[daze6399]

For what it is worth- I had 3 children, all with ADHD. Never even considered a leash. It was hard hard work but they did learn to behave- and travel. i have taken then around the world, literally. ......

 

But parents are people too and anyone who believes that you can have complete control of a child 24/7 has never had a child. They are fast and they are slippery and they are small. And they very much have minds of their own. And sometimes act on impulses that you as a parent can't even imagine....

 

At some point it is important to realize that these small things are individuals too.

 

Excellent points. Not using a leash works for some parents. Using one works for others.

 

We always gave our daughter the option of using her leash or sitting in a stroller. Many time she chose the leash. She picked out the one she wanted to wear, and voluntarily wore it. We never forced her into it, and if she wanted to take if off for a while she could, she just had to ride in her stroller. It was about safety for us, we wanted her to be safe and be able to enjoy a trip to the mall or wherever we were going. The leash allowed that to happen.

 

daze