WINEMANVISALIA Posted January 25, 2011 #1 Share Posted January 25, 2011 HOW I HAVE PREPARED TO CRUISE TO MEXICO ABOARD NORWEIGIAN STAR 1. I went to buffet restaurants with a tray in hand and practiced stopping in place for no reason at all. 2. Then I got behind a person and pushed my tray into their L5-L6 vertebrae. When they turned and glared, I said..."huh, what you mean?", rolled my eyes upwards and hummed 'Anchors Away'. 3. I went to a travel agency and told a customer,“I got a great deal on my NCL cruise, how much did you pay?...no matter what they said, i answered,...yeah, that's pretty good but i paid (i.e. any amount $300 or more, less than they paid)....if someone beats your price then tell I them my wife is a travel agent and we are paying $25 per day!...if they top that, I tell them I got a free cruise because I sued the cruise line because they forgot did not put a towel monkey on the bed on formal night! 4. I practiced filling water bottles with vodka, white rum, and gin. 5. I walked into a Department store and put my hand to my forehead and "Oh, when will Macy's use the balancers to stop the rocking! I stood in my shower, wrapped the shower curtain around me and showered by standing in one place. Ladies, shave your legs to do this. 7. I started eating a lot of food. 8. I took taxi and told the driver “DONDE ESTA the best beach, por favor!" 9. I leaned out over my deck railing at home…I pointed and yelled 'LOOK, LOOK A WHALE!" 10. I sat with strangers in a restaurant and told knock knock jokes. I told them I was practicing to meet tablemates on my next cruise! 11. Then I told them how much I hated this cruise line and I shouldknow because I been on 30 of their cruises and left in a huff. 12. Every time I flushed my toilet, I simultaneously turned on the vacuum cleaner 13. I pushed my way on crowded elevator, insisting there's lots of room. (Be sure to stay by the doors, so those who got on first and want to get off first, have to ask your permission. 14.I never left the house without my duct tape, over the door shoe organizer, surge protector, lysol wipes, and night light. 15. I woke up at 5AM every morning and crept around the neighborhood, placing towels on my neighbors' patio chairs to reserve them for the day. 16. I told my mailman he was late with room service. I told him to be on time tomorrow! 17. I rolled up $20 bills and lit them over my fire place in preparation for my casino losses. 18. I issued my significant other an Onboard Credit. 19.Finally, I practiced singing the NORWEIGIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM at Sunday services (VIDEO>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2v53KV00B4) : >)) Do you have any other suggestions? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sauer-kraut Posted January 25, 2011 #2 Share Posted January 25, 2011 You'll have to do better at the local buffets, there are no trays on board so practice holding 2 plates at once, sitting down at a table and then getting up again to get your drinks. Then wander aimlessly looking for your table that has already been cleared, and start over. You'll get flamed for being a chair hog....:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
pappagene Posted January 25, 2011 #3 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I go in the attic at 5:30 and drag stuff around for an hour making it sound like deck chairs being set up Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
swedish weave Posted January 25, 2011 #4 Share Posted January 25, 2011 HOW I HAVE PREPARED TO CRUISE TO MEXICO ABOARD NORWEIGIAN STAR 1. I went to buffet restaurants with a tray in hand and practiced stopping in place for no reason at all. 2. Then I got behind a person and pushed my tray into their L5-L6 vertebrae. When they turned and glared, I said..."huh, what you mean?", rolled my eyes upwards and hummed 'Anchors Away'. 3. I went to a travel agency and told a customer,“I got a great deal on my NCL cruise, how much did you pay?...no matter what they said, i answered,...yeah, that's pretty good but i paid (i.e. any amount $300 or more, less than they paid)....if someone beats your price then tell I them my wife is a travel agent and we are paying $25 per day!...if they top that, I tell them I got a free cruise because I sued the cruise line because they forgot did not put a towel monkey on the bed on formal night! 4. I practiced filling water bottles with vodka, white rum, and gin. 5. I walked into a Department store and put my hand to my forehead and "Oh, when will Macy's use the balancers to stop the rocking! I stood in my shower, wrapped the shower curtain around me and showered by standing in one place. Ladies, shave your legs to do this. 7. I started eating a lot of food. 8. I took taxi and told the driver “DONDE ESTA the best beach, por favor!" 9. I leaned out over my deck railing at home…I pointed and yelled 'LOOK, LOOK A WHALE!" 10. I sat with strangers in a restaurant and told knock knock jokes. I told them I was practicing to meet tablemates on my next cruise! 11. Then I told them how much I hated this cruise line and I shouldknow because I been on 30 of their cruises and left in a huff. 12. Every time I flushed my toilet, I simultaneously turned on the vacuum cleaner 13. I pushed my way on crowded elevator, insisting there's lots of room. (Be sure to stay by the doors, so those who got on first and want to get off first, have to ask your permission. 14.I never left the house without my duct tape, over the door shoe organizer, surge protector, lysol wipes, and night light. 15. I woke up at 5AM every morning and crept around the neighborhood, placing towels on my neighbors' patio chairs to reserve them for the day. 16. I told my mailman he was late with room service. I told him to be on time tomorrow! 17. I rolled up $20 bills and lit them over my fire place in preparation for my casino losses. 18. I issued my significant other an Onboard Credit. 19.Finally, I practiced singing the NORWEIGIAN NATIONAL ANTHEM at Sunday services (VIDEO>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u2v53KV00B4) : >)) Do you have any other suggestions? Keep reading Cruise Critic !!! You have learned a lot, but there is more to come !!:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
halos Posted January 25, 2011 #5 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Ok, that was awesome :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iheartbda Posted January 25, 2011 #6 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Practice your un-manners now so you never remember to say please, thank you, or excuse me. Get your snapping fingers in shape so you can snap them while saying, "get me another.........". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sauer-kraut Posted January 25, 2011 #7 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Get some people over to the house who are smokers, have them smoke a pack in your living room so you'll get used to walking through the 'smoke filled' casino. Then have them stand on either side of your backyard deck, smoking, so you can complain that your balcony neighbors made it impossible for you to enjoy your balcony. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Music City Posted January 25, 2011 #8 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Take your kids to the Hilton, get on the elevator with other guests and laugh when the kids push the elevator buttons to every floor. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare mking8288 Posted January 25, 2011 #9 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Wear an orange life vest, go outside the front door with a hat, whistle and clipboard, and run muster station drill with DH. Start filling the plastic bucket of Corona 6-packs with ice and dont' forget the tortillia with hot/spicy dips. sí Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
russianmom Posted January 25, 2011 #10 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I'm laughing so hard I have tears in my eyes!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Wanna_Cruize Posted January 25, 2011 #11 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I've been practicing walking down the hallways of my house and veering from side to side (practicing for the motion of the ocean, of course). I've also stood at the ATM and inserted my card and posed for my picture. I miss the 'ding' sound, though... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb Nahoumi Posted January 25, 2011 #12 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Don't forget to try to push an SUV sized baby carriage into a crowded elevator. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
lax19 Posted January 25, 2011 #13 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I've also stood at the ATM and inserted my card and posed for my picture. I miss the 'ding' sound, though... I now have to clean soup off my monitor . . .:D:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
orangegrove Posted January 25, 2011 #14 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Practice folding towels and turning them into various animals and placing on all beds in your house. Remember to hang monkey from ceiling fan and use sunglasses and ripped newspaper for their eyes! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
dmtb518 Posted January 25, 2011 #15 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Oh my god after a really tough night, this made me smile, and a smile at this point is like rolling on the floor any other day... Thanks Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Davechipp74 Posted January 25, 2011 #16 Share Posted January 25, 2011 i promptly return every bill i get with just my signature on it :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mgm61 Posted January 25, 2011 #17 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I've been practicing walking down the hallways of my house and veering from side to side (practicing for the motion of the ocean, of course). I've also stood at the ATM and inserted my card and posed for my picture. I miss the 'ding' sound, though... that is frikin funny.....:p:D;):eek: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Barb Nahoumi Posted January 25, 2011 #18 Share Posted January 25, 2011 I still can't stop laughing Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Wanna_Cruize Posted January 25, 2011 #19 Share Posted January 25, 2011 It's starting to become irritating. I keep throwing my used towels on the floor, but no one brings me fresh towels! Also, when I leave a note hanging on my bedroom door requesting coffee in the morning, it never arrives!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
downsized Posted January 25, 2011 #20 Share Posted January 25, 2011 Ah....I might add teach my kids to run screaming down the halls, banging on every door. practice my Ninja skills so that I can crowd to the front of every line. touch every piece of food in the buffet with my bare hands because I just hate those "pinchy things" take my 1 year old into the pool with me. I'm certain that he/she will not have an "accident". sneeze into my hand, and then touch all of the buttons on the elevator. I could go on, but will not. We do love NCL, btw, and are most generally in the front row of the cheerleader section! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
thecatsmeow Posted January 26, 2011 #21 Share Posted January 26, 2011 That made my evening! Thanks. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
klingoncruiser Posted January 26, 2011 #22 Share Posted January 26, 2011 ROFL.... nice one! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Bobfather Posted January 26, 2011 #23 Share Posted January 26, 2011 :DI just called my wife at work to read her these postings, She said to remind everyone to pack 3 large suitcases with everything you own and then wear the same thing all week long! Thanks for making my day folks! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WINEMANVISALIA Posted January 26, 2011 Author #24 Share Posted January 26, 2011 The atm one was priceless!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Warmer Climes Posted January 26, 2011 #25 Share Posted January 26, 2011 15. I woke up at 5AM every morning and crept around the neighborhood, placing towels on my neighbors' patio chairs to reserve them for the day. This one made me laugh the most. (Hard to picture creeping around my sub-zero neighborhood right now) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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