panic over 14yo boy and clothes

[doemichael]

We go on IOS in 4 days and I am now panicing. My son only ever wears tracksuits and trainers except when at school. We convinced him to get nice jeans and polo shirts for evenings on the condition as soon as dinner was over he could go get changed.

 

Now formal nights are different, we got him black trousers and black shoes and a checked shirt. We could not get him ot agree to a plain shirt and tie and there was no way it was going to be a suit or jacket :eek:

 

I am now packing and wonder should we ( hubby and I ) just forget about the formal nights and eat in WJ those nights or will the trouser and shirt be ok for 14 year old in MDR on formal nights?

 

We also have a meal booked in chops so are only planning to go to 1 formal night. I know last time on Voyager and Navigator we seen adults without ties and jackets on in MDR, not many but one or two.

 

thanks

[divaofdisney]

To be quite honest as long as he looks nice with fairly nice pants and nice shirt, he should be fine. I have seen really questionable attire on formal night and even on the regular nights as well. If you feel awkward then perhaps the Windjammer would be just fine too. Its your vacation and you should feel comfortable to enjoy your evening meal as you see fit. I do understand and feel as if you are going to the MDR you really should look half way decent and nice. This is just my opinion. Whatever you decide, enjoy your cruise!!

[Wilda]

You will be fine- no need to panic;) A button down shirt and long pants on your son will not get you turned away from the MDR. As a matter of fact, you will see many varieties of fashion; some that are much more casual than you are describing.

There is no reason for you to be banished to the WJ just because he is not wearing a jacket and tie.

Go and have a great time!

[doemichael]

thats everyone

 

I know before in MDR have seen I even seen people with jeans and one in shorts and sandles on formal night. We really do wnat him to have the experience of the MDR as he may never get to go on a cruise again.

 

He will look nice and smart and I guess after all he is a kid would be more worried if it was his dad not wanting to wear tie and suit lol

[cb at sea]

At 14 , he'll be fine. And, if there are girls there and they're dressed up, NEXT time, he'll be much more willing to wear a jacket... At this age, everything is a learning experience!

[Ocean Boy]

Stop panicing and just enjoy the anticipation of your upcoming cruise.

 

The post above made me laugh. Do you really think that a 14 yo boy has never seen a 14 yo girl before?

[dfgf]

At 14 , he'll be fine. And, if there are girls there and they're dressed up, NEXT time, he'll be much more willing to wear a jacket... At this age, everything is a learning experience!

 

The 14-year-old girls will be dressed like they're going to prom. I agree - on the next cruise he'll be more than willing to dress up more!

 

He'll be fine with what you've already selected. A lot of teens wear khaki pants on formal night.

[eldolko]

I tried to imagine how my parents would have handled this situation when I was 14. Here are the possible options my parents would have given me:

 

A. Dress appropriate and join them in the MDR. Suit with a white shirt and tie.

B. Dress the way I want and eat in the Windjammer or order room service.

C. Respect my parents and follow their guidelines or stay at home with a babysitter.

:D

[ksacer]

I remember stressing about the same thing when we took our son on his first cruise. He was also 12 at the time. I spent endless hours shopping, trying to find clothes that I thought would be appropriate. It ended up being a complete waste of time and money. He had so much fun in the kids program that he only ate one dinner with us and never wore most of the clothes that I packed. He preferred to eat with his new friends in the WJ or Sorrento's. We have been on several cruises since that time and I have learned to pack him mostly jeans, shorts and maybe one pair of "dockers" with casual shirts. I hope this helps.

[Paul65]

I tried to imagine how my parents would have handled this situation when I was 14. Here are the possible options my parents would have given me:

 

A. Dress appropriate and join them in the MDR. Suit with a white shirt and tie.

B. Dress the way I want and eat in the Windjammer or order room service.

C. Respect my parents and follow their guidelines or stay at home with a babysitter.

:D

 

That was my thought, too. It would have been closer to C, except that the latter part wouldn't have been an option. It would have just been, "respect my parents and follow their guidelines." We have a 13 yo son, so I know what it can be like. But if we're going out somewhere, we tell him how he's expected to dress. He might get to choose the outfit, but we (well...mostly his mom) get veto power.

[Sadie cruiser]

My husband and I aren't doing the MDR for any of the nights mainly because who wants to sit for 2 hours for dinner??? Especially with a teenager who has far more important things to do than waste time eating??? Ha.Ha. We are instead going to the other restaurants when we want and depending upon what we want for dinner that night. In ports there are fun places to try specialities of the island too. That said leave the formal stuff at home especially on the Allure....far too many things to do than waste it on mediocre food in the MDR. Have a sit down lunch or breakfast in the MDR instead where the dining experience will feel the same.

Not to get me wrong, we LOVE to fine dine not on vacation but at home. Who wants to lug all that formal stuff as a family. We did when we didn't have kids and that was a different experience. WE DO FEEL YOU SHOULD HAVE LONG PANTS/SKIRTS/DRESSES/DRESS SHORTS ON AFTER 6:00 for dining out of respect. But, really that is only my opinion and I couldn't care less what others wear as long as they are enjoying themselves!! I love seeing my son teen dressed in Ralph Lauren type of clothes and that is what he wears for "dressy". Bring classic clothes like Khakis/polos/long sleeve linen shirts for night time and you will be fine anywhere and get compliments on how nice your child looks! For your self a black dress and fun jewelry will give you that same "dressy" look.

If you are like some families and want to get that once in a lifetime picture on a formal night then by all means ignore what I just said get the suit and tie. Have a great time!

[Sugar*Magnolia]

Maybe we are in the minority, but DH and I set the stage and our kids have always been eager to follow....

 

DS is now 18 and he has always enjoyed wearing a suit, tuxedo or dark pants [for us on casual/smart casual that would be deep indigo brand new jeans that fit like trousers, a button down and suit jacket-aka: blazer]. And, I must say, he has always caught the attention of the girls!

 

Sounds like your son will be just fine.

[Ronn452]

You want your son to experience the MDR; but on his terms? This means, I guess, setting his own definition of dining etiquette. I know I will be flamed but this lax adherence to the cruise line's dress code truly sucks! My wife and I have raised four sons and each understood that when the dress code required or preferred a coat and tie, they would wear them. At the end of the dinner or event, we all usually went back to the cabin or hotel room and changed into more casual clothing. Not only did they learn that as they progressed in their careers how to dress for dinner parties, weddings, funerals, etc; they learned which utensil to use at dinner. To not learn these might prove to be rather embarassing in the future.

 

Fourteen is not to young to learn or adhere. There are many on these boards that say wear whatever. I totally disagree. As I have said before, dress for a dinner at a fast food restaurant and expect service and food to match. At least as a teen he can wear business casual; a polo shirt and khakis.

 

Flame away, but don't complain when you go through dinner looking across the table at your table mates hairy underarms beneath his wife-beater shirt.

[Sadie cruiser]

I said in my post we CHOOSE not to GO to the MDR so we will not bring formal clothes. We will still dress as suggested by the cruise line for dinner or after 5:00 and that means in dressy resort wear and business casual. I didn't see anywhere that someone should go to the MDR in cut offs or a sleeveless shirt? That would be ridiculous and shouldn't be allowed. This Mom was asking what her 14 year would be ok wearing to the MDR and I still stick behind my original statement to wear khakis/long sleeved dress or linen shirt. A suit coat and tie would be fine if it had already been worn for a confirmation or a wedding but just to go out and buy for a cruise....that's crazy!

I am glad she asked the question because it shows her concern for her child and doing the right thing not being disrespectful. My 13 year old son on the other hand will be wearing what he wears Sundays at church and that is good enough for outside the main dining room!

[diva girl]

Your son will be fine with his checked shirt and pants on formal night. Since I work with teenagers you learn to pick your battles and the attire you described will be fine. I could see if he still insisted on his sweats or causal sports outfits but since he also compromised on his dining outfit he will look presentable.Remember you are building memories and years from now you won't remember the outfits but you will remember all the wonderful memories you will experience. Have a great time.

[diva girl]

Your son will be fine with his checked shirt and pants on formal night. Since I work with teenagers you learn to pick your battles and the attire you described will be fine. I could see if he still insisted on his sweats or causal sports outfits but since he also compromised on his dining outfit he will look presentable.Remember you are building memories and years from now you won't remember the outfits but you will remember all the wonderful memories you will experience. Have a great time.

[Cruzface]

If I were you, I would stop worrying about formal night and appropriate dress in the MDR and just go to the WJ every night. The food in the MDR is not great. Certainly not worth fretting over. You will save yourself time and aggravation by just going to the WJ, eating decent food dressed how ever you wish and then enjoying the rest of what the ship has to offer.

[Sadie cruiser]

AMEN!!!!! Diva Girl! Thanks for stating the point of the cruise memories! It IS vacation and not battling with the wills of the teen and letting him feel he has some control of how he presents himself (and, he will be watching very intently on how others his age choose to dress for sure) will do him a greater service in the long run and help to build his body image and how he chooses to present himself in a positive way! Pack the "fancy" clothes you decide to bring and you might just be surprised what he will wear.:)

[Swimmomof3]

My sons (14 & 11) will be wearing dress pants, a blue blazer, loafers, belt and a white or blue button down shirt. No ties - its vacation. They both know that the blazer can come off as soon as they get to the table.

 

I like them to dress more formally than they normally would because I think it improves their behavior at dinner. It sends the message to them that this dinner is not an ordinary dinner, but a special one. But that's just my opinion.

 

In reality almost anything is ok when it comes to teens and dress. Everyone knows that sometimes you are lucky to get your teen to just come and sit with you at dinner.

[patseacruiser]

I tried to imagine how my parents would have handled this situation when I was 14. Here are the possible options my parents would have given me:

 

A. Dress appropriate and join them in the MDR. Suit with a white shirt and tie.

B. Dress the way I want and eat in the Windjammer or order room service.

C. Respect my parents and follow their guidelines or stay at home with a babysitter.

:D

 

Definitely would have to alter C to just Do what my parents say. A & B is out of the equation completely.

[kijjy]

I wouldn't worry too much about it, or about what everyone's opinion is. It's your vacation and it's his vacation. What he chose will be fine on formal night.

My son on the other hand LOVES dressing up. This will be his formal night attire.....

[akscubainst]

My 14 y/o is mad because we haven't bought him a jacket. Just shoes/slacks/shirt/tie. Mostly because there is no place in Juneau to buy a men's jacket. We've had to promise him that when we get to Seattle or Miami we will see what we can find.

[crazy4themouse]

I have to admit, this whole thread confuses me... Why would he even have a choice as to what he wears to dinner?? I mean, give him a choice between the acceptable options -- i.e., "You can wear this shirt and that tie or that shirt and this tie", but no way would I ever be in a "panic" because my 14 year old expected to dress the same way he might if he were going to a movie with friends or eating at Applebee's.

 

My son is 15, we have been cruising since he was 6, and he knows that dinner time onboard is special, and that he is expected to dress accordingly -- whether it's a nice polo and khaki's on regular nights, or suit & tie/tux on formal nights. And he knows that after dinner, he is free to go change into whatever he feels like for the rest of the night. But he would definitely not cause the both of us to eat at WJ for dinner just because he didn't feel like putting on nice clothes for a couple of hours! :confused:

[Akitkat118]

you'll be fine as long as he is not in the track suits.

[sparky-elpaso]

I have to admit, this whole thread confuses me... Why would he even have a choice as to what he wears to dinner?? I mean, give him a choice between the acceptable options -- i.e., "You can wear this shirt and that tie or that shirt and this tie", but no way would I ever be in a "panic" because my 14 year old expected to dress the same way he might if he were going to a movie with friends or eating at Applebee's.

 

My son is 15, we have been cruising since he was 6, and he knows that dinner time onboard is special, and that he is expected to dress accordingly -- whether it's a nice polo and khaki's on regular nights, or suit & tie/tux on formal nights. And he knows that after dinner, he is free to go change into whatever he feels like for the rest of the night. But he would definitely not cause the both of us to eat at WJ for dinner just because he didn't feel like putting on nice clothes for a couple of hours! :confused:

 

And when your son grows up and gets a job he won't have a problem with adhering with the workplace dress code because he "gets it" - he can't always do things his way. And I'll bet the young ladies notice too.