Dinner Etiquette Question

[WeatherFx]

I would not consider it rude :rolleyes:. I wouldn't mind the kids having something to occupy them - muted electronic or most anything else as long as the kids are *relatively* quiet. Just got off an 8 day cruise to Canada and the small kids at the table next to us were extremely unruly, ie screaming, crying, banging dishes and utensils and throwing things :eek: . Parents did nothing and neither did head waiter. :confused: Oh, and yes I have raised kids.

[DrD]

I wanted to get some opinions from my fellow cruisers on this - we will be sailing with our 5 and 6 year old kids and plan on eating most meals with them. Usually when we go out to restaurants, I bring along my phone and ipad, as well as some small toys, to keep the kids occupied while we're waiting for our food. They know the rule that once the food arrives, everything gets put away and it's time to talk as a family while we eat. I've found that wait time before the food is usually where most of the whining/bickering tends to occur, especially after a long, exciting day. So here's my question: if you were sitting at a large table with us, would you consider it rude that the kids were playing quietly with toys or electronics at the table, as long as it was not disruptive (no sound on devices, etc.)?

Note: I did request a table for four, mainly because I know many people prefer to dine without children, and I respect that option. Even my (mostly) well-behaved kids can have their moments, that's for sure! :p

 

A. I don't think it's rude and do it with my boys.

B. It's better than the alternative, ie fighting, etc.

C. Service on cruises is usually very quick. My boys only brought their ipads first night and then left them (although we did play a lot of I-spy.)

[Sherlock43031]

Some may even consider you "wrapped way too tight" for making that post on a thread where the overwhelming position is that the OP's plan is not a problem at all. Focusing on the small minority with a different opinion seems a little uptight to me. :)

 

really?

[DCT61]

I don't consider it rude...but more of "a missed opportunity" to teach your children how to behave properly in a formal dining situation.

[Paul65]

really?

 

Really. Out of the 50+ responses, there are only a handful who seemed against the idea (and none of them were all that adamant about it, just expressing their opinions). So, yes, overwhelming majority were fine with it. :)

[galavant3]

I don't consider it rude...but more of "a missed opportunity" to teach your children how to behave properly in a formal dining situation.

 

I have to disagree! We always brought activities for our kids during lengthy dinners out when they were that young. If anything I think it taught them the importance of sitting quietly and waiting patiently. They are now 20, 24 and 27 and they are very comfortable at formal dinners and know how to behave properly.

 

If I were seated at a table with 5 and 6 year olds I would really appreciate it if they had activities to keep them occupied. There is only so much conversation that age group is capable of or interested in.

[CntPAcruiser]

I would not consider it rude :rolleyes:. I wouldn't mind the kids having something to occupy them - muted electronic or most anything else as long as the kids are *relatively* quiet. Just got off an 8 day cruise to Canada and the small kids at the table next to us were extremely unruly, ie screaming, crying, banging dishes and utensils and throwing things :eek: . Parents did nothing and neither did head waiter. :confused: Oh, and yes I have raised kids.

 

We had this on our first cruise--our table of 10 adults next to a family with a table of 10, several children. The first night at dinner we mentioned the problem to our waiter, with limited success. The second night of the same behaviors, we got the headwaiter involved and that took care of things. I think it was the two kids running a race around the table and almost running in a server carrying a tray of food that did it. The waiters did their best to entertain the children, since the parents basically ignored them and hadn't made any arrangements to keep them occupied. After that night the waiters made sure the kids were given food right away and basically got that table served and gone as quickly as possible.

[bplazo]

I have 3 children including an 8 year old. Yes, I would find it annoying. Just as annoying as an adult playing with their phone or iPad.

 

Omg, this is so true. It is like the phone is glued to their hands.

[RubyDog08]

I am happy to have children at my table no matter what occupies their attention. I lost a child 9 years ago, and I would give anything to have him back. I wouldn't care if yours were crying, bickering, sleeping or laughing. Electronics, crayons, dirty little faces and all. While it is very considerate of you to ponder the thoughts of others, it is more important that you enjoy your vacation and celebrate simply being with your children. Other seating arrangements can be made for those wishing to do so.

[lady_cruiser]

I would not have a problem with any child playing quietly with toys while waiting for the food to be served.

[misty57]

Children of that age have such short attention spans. You can only expect them to sit sedately for a reasonable amount of time, so using the electronics ( the board books of our day:D) make perfect sense. I wouldn't care what other's opinions are. Our granddaughter is autistic. She used to be calm in public only when she could have her electronic book reader/games. She goes no where without her "cat book". She is now "weaned" off of them during the week and looks forward to Friday night when she can have her e reader.

[Tamaracklady]

Last cruise my kids were 6 and 3. We were travelling during the school season so there were not a lot of kids onboard and we didn't share a table but did get to chat with others nearby (who did want to talk with us or the kids). To get through the long dinner service, we did bring along their ipods (which they used on rare occasions, mostly when really tired) however, we also brought a pencil case of crayons, pencils, markers and paper. My oldest daughter's teacher had sent along a journal which proved to be the greatest thing. We would talk about her favourite thing of the day which she would draw a picture of in her journal followed by a short written entry. Our younger daughter coloured what we or her sister drew for her. This was a perfect way to 'wind down' and reflect on the day while getting through the 2 hour service. The older presented her journal to her class when we returned and we have a great keepsake from the trip. We will be repeating it again this year and she's already excited about starting a new journal!

[WetToes]

Last cruise my kids were 6 and 3. We were travelling during the school season so there were not a lot of kids onboard and we didn't share a table but did get to chat with others nearby (who did want to talk with us or the kids). To get through the long dinner service, we did bring along their ipods (which they used on rare occasions, mostly when really tired) however, we also brought a pencil case of crayons, pencils, markers and paper. My oldest daughter's teacher had sent along a journal which proved to be the greatest thing. We would talk about her favourite thing of the day which she would draw a picture of in her journal followed by a short written entry. Our younger daughter coloured what we or her sister drew for her. This was a perfect way to 'wind down' and reflect on the day while getting through the 2 hour service. The older presented her journal to her class when we returned and we have a great keepsake from the trip. We will be repeating it again this year and she's already excited about starting a new journal!

 

The journal does sound like a good idea. What a great keepsake that would be. ;)

I wish some would just lighten up. It's vacation! Can't everyone just relax? It's a few days. Routines may be broken, but isn't that part of a vacation, to do things a little slower, a little more relaxed? :confused::rolleyes:

[CruisinCrow]

My oldest daughter's teacher had sent along a journal which proved to be the greatest thing. We would talk about her favourite thing of the day which she would draw a picture of in her journal followed by a short written entry. Our younger daughter coloured what we or her sister drew for her. This was a perfect way to 'wind down' and reflect on the day while getting through the 2 hour service. The older presented her journal to her class when we returned and we have a great keepsake from the trip. We will be repeating it again this year and she's already excited about starting a new journal!

 

I think this a wonderful idea. One vacation when we were traveling with my parents, my sister and her husband and small daughter, we would make a video journal every night at dinner. Each person would tell the camera what they did that day.

 

The main issue I have with constant cell smart phone use (and I'm talking more about adults than kids here), is that I think people aren't living in and enjoying the moment. They are missing all the great stuff going on right around them. That's why I try to stay unplugged during vacation. I can catch up with all that stuff when I'm back to the mundane world. :)

 

WetToes, I'm not sure why you are telling people to relax. It seems to me that everyone has been saying that parents should do what works for their family/kids. And a lot of people have posted great suggestions.

[WetToes]

'Most' have been doing that. ;)

[ripjerry95]

No problem at all!

 

 

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[NCM3381]

I think you are absolutely doing the right thing!! As a mum of a 13yr old and a 3yr old I always have some form of distraction in my bag. When my 13yr old was young she generally didn't need occupying but on the rare occasion she did a colouring book and crayons or a Barbie doll & outfits sufficed! However my 3yr old is a completely different story and struggles to sit still for any length of time so I now make sure I have plenty of options to keep her occupied - books, favourite toys, crayons, puzzles, building blocks, large beads for her to string - all educational and I encourage her to talk about what she's doing but I will usually have my I-pad in my bag as a very last resort. On it she has the options of painting, reading stories and I usually have a couple of her favourite films on there. In my opinion a happy, well behaved child is always preferable to a screaming, disruptive child (which my 3yr old can become if I'm not well prepared)! You know your children best and what will keep them happy!! You may find the staff do their usual brilliant job and you don't need anything but I personally think its better to have them there just in case.

[riclop]

I wanted to get some opinions from my fellow cruisers on this - we will be sailing with our 5 and 6 year old kids and plan on eating most meals with them. Usually when we go out to restaurants, I bring along my phone and ipad, as well as some small toys, to keep the kids occupied while we're waiting for our food. They know the rule that once the food arrives, everything gets put away and it's time to talk as a family while we eat. I've found that wait time before the food is usually where most of the whining/bickering tends to occur, especially after a long, exciting day. So here's my question: if you were sitting at a large table with us, would you consider it rude that the kids were playing quietly with toys or electronics at the table, as long as it was not disruptive (no sound on devices, etc.)?

Note: I did request a table for four, mainly because I know many people prefer to dine without children, and I respect that option. Even my (mostly) well-behaved kids can have their moments, that's for sure! :p

No problem at all.