Kids Left Unsupervised on a Cruiseship

[Jobeth66]

The world is no different today than it was when we were children, or when our parents were children, and so forth. We just have a sensationalized 24/7 news cycle that feeds on bad news, especially when children are involved.

 

If you never give your children any freedom, they'll never know how to deal with it when they are older. You end up with adults who don't know how to navigate the real world and have their mommy or daddy call their boss when they get in trouble (happens every day).

 

At 10, I was responsible for several small children including an infant. When I wasn't at school or doing chores or sleeping, my parents may have had a general idea of where I was, but nothing more than that - I had a dime in my shoe for an emergency. Otherwise, I was in the woods or fishing or swimming or hanging out with my friends or riding my bike 10 miles into town to go to the library or the Woolworths for a soda.

 

Kids are in more danger from relatives & family friends (easy access) than they are from strangers.

Edited April 20, 2014 by Jobeth66

[notentirelynormal]

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

 

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

 

Ya know, each kid is different. We know so little from the OP. It does sound more like she wants validation to be p*ssed off. I'd also like to learn more about the "wander the cruise ship unsupervised" comment. Were these kids left alone all day or just go to the kids center or to grab a ice cream?

 

I can tell you at 8 YO my grandson (and his 6 YO autistic sister) have done a lot of things. He's often put in situations that require him to act properly and responsibly. He takes wonderful care of his sister. He has been going to fire stations in LA since he was 1 YO. He has his own uniform. His parents ran a volunteer program and he has spent many hours there. He's flown in helicopters, the fire boat and every type of fire vehicle they have. He does karate. He is in musicals. He goes to Disneyland about 6-8 times a month and interacts with cast members. His sister participates on a lesser scale.

 

When we're at Disneyland we sit at our table and let them get their own desserts. It makes them feel grown up and teaches them responsibility. They pick it out and pay for it and come back to the table. It builds confidence and they are never out of our sight.

 

Would I let the kids go places with a 12 YO on a ship. Sure I would. A 12 YO in some states are legal to babysit so I'm pretty sure they can walk to the pizza station without supervision. In 4 short years that 12 YO will be able to drive. An 8 YO is legal to be at home by himself if he is sick at school while the parents are at work. Age isn't the issue. The issue is maturity, training of the child to know what and who is acceptable.

 

Would I let the 8 YO wander on his own on a ship. Sure I would. He would never ever see me following a short distance behind him hiding behind the flower and posts. He would never been completely out of my sight.

[Karysa]

Sometimes parents have a closer eye on the child than the child thinks that they do. I have checked up on my children as I was giving them more rope. It was all baby steps. Baby steps for them leaving and me letting them go.:)

[Elaine5715]

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

 

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

 

Not okay. Parental failure but whose's responsibility to scold the parents?

[cruisead]

There are always so many people on a ship it would be unlikely that someone wouldn't spot a child being 'grabbed'

 

 

 

 

Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app

 

If there are so many people on a ship, how did one child drown, and two others nearly drown, during the daytime, on cruise ships in the past few months? People on vacation are oblivious to children who aren't their own. Heck, many are oblivious to their own kids on cruises.

[Dayenu]

On the Rhapsody of the Seas a few years ago we got used to seeing 2 children going to the Buffet for afternoon tea. The boy was about 8 or 9 and his sister (?) about 6. He would find a table, make sure she was seated and would then go and get a tray of drinks and cake. The would eat quietly and then disappear. We never did find out who they were and never saw them with any adults. Someone said that they thought their parents were crew members, but I don't know. However their behaviour was impeccable, probably better than some adults!

 

Our children too loved to pretend they are independent, like adults. They would go to a restaurant "on their own" or board a bus "on their own" - always with us, parents, nearby.

 

Whether or not I would let a child roam the ship depends on maturity of the child. Not the age alone, but ability to be responsible for his/her actions.

[aussielozzie18]

imo, a group of kids with the eldest being 12 being allowed to go by themselves to a certain destination ie ice-cream dispenser outside the windjammer to get ice-creams or to play ping pong for half hour is perfectly fine as long as the parents/guardians are aware of where the kids are going and an expected time they will be back.

 

If the kids are allowed to "roam" unsupervised for hours at a time (which I think is unlikely) then that would definitely be a cause for concern.

 

I think the OP needs to have a discussion with ex prior to the next vacation to air her concerns.

[nmg85]

If there are so many people on a ship, how did one child drown, and two others nearly drown, during the daytime, on cruise ships in the past few months? People on vacation are oblivious to children who aren't their own. Heck, many are oblivious to their own kids on cruises.

 

 

To me parents should watch their children when in a pool, this is a parenting issue and simple safety especially when no lifeguards.

 

 

Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app

[spookwife]

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

 

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

 

honestly it is pretty common and as long as they are not being PITA in the public spaces, the crew will not get involved. only the PARENT can decide if they are comfortable allowing their kids to do that. most ships allow 12 and up to sign themselves in and out of the kid's clubs at will. no one is required to do the kid's clubs at all( and fair few don't)

 

the ship DOES have a curfew for all kids under 18.. after a certain time( as late as 1 am or later) they MUST be in the company of an adult or in a sanctioned kid's club activity. this they DO enforce.

 

however if you did not set your expectation with Dad and Step Mom before hand, I am not sure you can really complain other than to request that any future trips like this, it not be that way.

 

this is especially true if Dad/Step mom have different household rules than you do.

[spookwife]

There are always so many people on a ship it would be unlikely that someone wouldn't spot a child being 'grabbed'

 

 

 

 

Sent using the Cruise Critic forums app

 

nope sorry. one that comes to mind was the young girl who was lured into a cabin by a fellow teen and then raped by the uncle.

 

and the crew member who assaulted a girl.. kids are taught to obey the crew members are they not?

 

and lets not forget the 'adult' on the Spectrum who was allowed into the kid's clubs due his 'mental age and maturity' who got fixated on a 14 year old to the point where she could not leave her cabin at all.

 

to suggest that even traveling in packs a bunch teen and pre teen girls have nothing to worry about is extremely silly. but neither is realistic to suggest that kids that age cannot be set loose at all.

 

My stepson( 11 at the time) spent the entire summer in Japan with us and quite frankly he was on his own from after breakfast until dinner. a US Military installation overseas is really not all that much different than a large cruise ship. although there is bowling...and no bumper cars...

[LynnTTT]

Times aren't changing...the news is just making it more visible so you think it is.

 

I was almost kidnapped at the age of 7 in Minneapolis in 1954. There was a spate of these incidents, luckily none involving physical damage. Just a crazy guy taking photos of girls. Went to a police line-up, etc.

Later I asked my mother if this had been publicized in the newspaper or on TV. She said that there had been no mention of it and she also knew of a similar incident in her home town in the early 1930;s and again, nothing every made public.

Now if a child is missing in Kansas there is an "amber alert" across the country.

[hlfrps]

Recently my 7 and 9 year old went on a cruise with their dad, stepmother and another family. The other family had 2 children ages 10 and 12. It has come to my attention that the children (all girls) were allowed to wander the cruise ship unsupervised.

 

Can anyone share your thoughts on this? Is this something that is common? Does anyone know of any guidelines for these situations? It seems to me that these girls are far too young to be given this much freedom in the company of thousands of strangers but want to have some concrete information before I start this discussion. Any information you could give will be appreciated!

 

Be mindful of how this came to your attention and how you interrupt it. I do not think the kids know the meaning of "wander" and especially "unsupervised". Those may be your words.

 

I bet if the overall picture is put together, adults were in one place, the children allowed to go get ice cream, kids club, etc. and the children had times to check in (and I bet the adults were very mindful that they had four girls around and may have even wandered themselves just to check out that all was okay.

 

You did not say if you were an experienced cruiser or not. If not, then you need to cruise and I think you would be much more relaxed about this atmosphere, if that is want is bothering you.

[notentirelynormal]

Inflammatory comment. No further explanation or clarification. I'm thinking it was a great TROLL thread for this first (and last) OP.

 

We can all speculate and comment and give advise but since we don't even know if she is referring to the kids getting a hot dog while the parents were sitting by the pool then I think all future comments are needless.

 

Assuming this is a real post I'll give an example of how some ex's manipulate.

 

Years ago when the ex would bring the kids to us for the weekend - each and every time she sent them without shoes and with clothes that were too small. Each and every time we had to buy new shoes or we couldn't leave the house and new clothes. Those same clothes and shoes were never seen by us again. She told the children "if they really loved you they would love to buy you new clothes". This was back in the early 70s. We made around $12,000 a year the ex's husband made around $120,000 a year. She put up a calendar to show when the child support checks arrived (first bill I paid each month) and explained to them that that money barely covered their part of the electric bill. They were 6 and 8.

 

I can guarantee you that had we taken them on a cruise we would have been accused of everything. She would have told them how to give us a hard time and then used it against us after they did. An example: you shouldn't have to make your bed. If they really wanted you there she (the evil step mom) would wait on you hand and foot. Yup she actually said it to them and told me so to my face.

 

OP - if you are for real - please back off and don't make your kids hate your ex as much as you do. I grew up in a home where we weren't even allowed to call our father "dad". We had to call him by his first name or my mother would be upset. He really was a dead beat dad too. Saw us once a year for about 45 minutes and paid around $200 a year each child for support.

Edited April 20, 2014 by notentirelynormal

[mawmawmaw123]

You guys are too overprotective. On my first cruise in 2010 I was 10 and my sister was 9. We were able to "wander" around and nothing happened to us! If you all never let your kids do things like this they won't know how to handle these sorts of situations when they get older.

[lrowe70]

Seems like a conversation you should've had with your ex beforehand.

 

My thoughts are that as long as they were together, it is not a big deal. Obviously your ex felt the same.

[MamaTene]

Considering that your daughters are 7 and 9, the "facts" as recalled of what happened and what they did are a bit unreliable. If you sincerely are concerned and just want some clarification, contact their father directly. If you are just trying to stir up trouble (as soooo many ex's do) PLEASE consider the general well being of the children and move on.

Edited April 20, 2014 by MamaTene