grapau27 Posted August 3, 2017 #101 Share Posted August 3, 2017 It certainly wasn't a nice experience I'm sure for the crew member but he did know that he should not have said anything to you but since you asked him what was wrong I guess he didn't want to offend you by saying nothing was wrong This is the most important reason to just not get involved with crew for any reason...because they are always being watched and evaluated by their supervisors Of course be friendly to them but when pax start asking too many questions the crew member now has the quandary of being perceived as rude to you if they don't want to divulge why they are upset Plus They could get reprimanded Or worse if they do tell you why they are upset While the rich gay person was totally out of line...ncl still appeased him didn't they ? Well money still speaks. IMHO regular pax like me and probably you should really not get involved with crew other than to be cordial to them If I saw crew that was upset I'd perhaps just not make things worse for him by asking why He wasn't hurt or bleeding was he? No he was just upset with his supervisor but really the crew member never shoukd have told you the reason Of course you saw the incident....but that alone didn't allow you to speak to crew about it. Crew have a fragile standing on a ship and pax interference doesn't help them. It's a fine line that shouldn't be crossed Crew are easy to hire and easy to fire While we might not like it the only way we cAn make our feelings known is to stop cruising and/or perhaps let ncl top brass know our feelings via a letter to the top but still you run the risk of hurting crew because ncl will find out the crew member divulged what happened to you It's just the nature of this industry Fwiw the rich guy was a jerk no doubt but pax asking crew too many questions is also not good In this situation the crew member was not injured (if he were then of course summon help etc) but crew are treated a certain way on a ship and that's just they way it is. Sent from my iPhone using Forums This incident was on RCI. I take on board what you are saying but we had spoken to this waiter several times previously so he was more like a friend than crew. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
notentirelynormal Posted August 3, 2017 #102 Share Posted August 3, 2017 This incident was on RCI.I take on board what you are saying but we had spoken to this waiter several times previously so he was more like a friend than crew. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app I could talk to my co-worker every day but that does not make him a friend that I would share personal information with. Just because you had a few conversations with him hardly makes him your friend. The guy was doing what he was paid to do - be friendly to the passengers. No more, no less. I also feel that you over stepped your position. I can almost guarantee you that the crew member you thought you were helping is no longer working for the cruise line. He got demoted and put off the ship at the end of his term never to return because he broke the edict rule that I'm sure he signed when he became a member of the crew. Not sure if it is still true but back when we started cruising they were given 3 strikes and then they were off. Blackballed from working that cruise line. Your interfering probably cost him his job. The same might be true of those others you thought you were helping because their boss felt humiliated or put out that a customer told him how to do his job. There was no violence therefore you should have stayed out of it. If the employee didn't like how they were being treated they could have gone to HR or found a new job. Just like the millions of other people that have dealt with a boss they didn't like. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmazedByCruising Posted August 3, 2017 #103 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I also feel that you over stepped your position. I can almost guarantee you that the crew member you thought you were helping is no longer working for the cruise line. Thank you. I never realized that I shouldn't take notice when my waiter is crying, and just ask for more bread instead. Certainly not ask "what's wrong?" because that would get him fired. :confused: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 3, 2017 #104 Share Posted August 3, 2017 Thank you. I never realized that I shouldn't take notice when my waiter is crying, and just ask for more bread instead. Certainly not ask "what's wrong?" because that would get him fired. :confused: Spot on i can't believe how cold some people can be. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 3, 2017 #105 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I could talk to my co-worker every day but that does not make him a friend that I would share personal information with. Just because you had a few conversations with him hardly makes him your friend. The guy was doing what he was paid to do - be friendly to the passengers. No more, no less. I also feel that you over stepped your position. I can almost guarantee you that the crew member you thought you were helping is no longer working for the cruise line. He got demoted and put off the ship at the end of his term never to return because he broke the edict rule that I'm sure he signed when he became a member of the crew. Not sure if it is still true but back when we started cruising they were given 3 strikes and then they were off. Blackballed from working that cruise line. Your interfering probably cost him his job. The same might be true of those others you thought you were helping because their boss felt humiliated or put out that a customer told him how to do his job. There was no violence therefore you should have stayed out of it. If the employee didn't like how they were being treated they could have gone to HR or found a new job. Just like the millions of other people that have dealt with a boss they didn't like. I didn't say anything that time but i will intervene anytime i think someone is being bullied or mistreated by anyone. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 3, 2017 #106 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I could talk to my co-worker every day but that does not make him a friend that I would share personal information with. Just because you had a few conversations with him hardly makes him your friend. The guy was doing what he was paid to do - be friendly to the passengers. No more, no less. I also feel that you over stepped your position. I can almost guarantee you that the crew member you thought you were helping is no longer working for the cruise line. He got demoted and put off the ship at the end of his term never to return because he broke the edict rule that I'm sure he signed when he became a member of the crew. Not sure if it is still true but back when we started cruising they were given 3 strikes and then they were off. Blackballed from working that cruise line. Your interfering probably cost him his job. The same might be true of those others you thought you were helping because their boss felt humiliated or put out that a customer told him how to do his job. There was no violence therefore you should have stayed out of it. If the employee didn't like how they were being treated they could have gone to HR or found a new job. Just like the millions of other people that have dealt with a boss they didn't like. I didn't mention anyone else but i would step in if people were being mistreated. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
AmazedByCruising Posted August 3, 2017 #107 Share Posted August 3, 2017 I didn't mention anyone else but i would step in if people were being mistreated. And rightly so! If that crew member really got reprimanded for resisting abuse and got fired for telling what happened to a passenger, I think a certain ambulance chaser would have a proper case to file against a cruise line. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Geezer Cruiser Posted August 11, 2017 #108 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Not on the ship, no, but there was one incident where I was mildly shocked at a passenger's tone towards a (very nice) excursion guide. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 11, 2017 #109 Share Posted August 11, 2017 Not on the ship, no, but there was one incident where I was mildly shocked at a passenger's tone towards a (very nice) excursion guide. Some people feel entitled and to heck with people's feelings. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Z'Loth Posted August 14, 2017 #110 Share Posted August 14, 2017 I'll just treat the tour guides and cruise staff with the usual nice and polite, "Please" and "Thank you". Perhaps use such profanities as "Wonderful!", "Fantastic!", "Awesome!", and the ever popular, "You are so kind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
QShip Posted August 14, 2017 #111 Share Posted August 14, 2017 I have just read this entire thread (which wandered a bit) and liked the approach to the original problem that called for videoing the situation best. But, I think it would be interesting to announce to the (miscreant) 'You do not mind if I record this, do you?' Would be very interesting to see if there was any change in behavior. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
perditax Posted August 15, 2017 #112 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Have really good hearing, so I've heard more than my share of cruise passengers being awful to crew members, including dropping F-bombs. I can't make those people suck less, so once they're gone I just apologize on their behalf and try to make the crew member laugh if I can. Sometimes (especially at Guest Services) I start with "I promise, no matter what happens, I'm not going to scream at you". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted August 15, 2017 #113 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Have really good hearing, so I've heard more than my share of cruise passengers being awful to crew members, including dropping F-bombs. I can't make those people suck less, so once they're gone I just apologize on their behalf and try to make the crew member laugh if I can. Sometimes (especially at Guest Services) I start with "I promise, no matter what happens, I'm not going to scream at you". Who would you sue if that stranger does not apprciate your inserrting yourself into somehting that does not concern you and they decide to let you know just how much they do not like it? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 15, 2017 #114 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Who would you sue if that stranger does not apprciate your inserrting yourself into somehting that does not concern you and they decide to let you know just how much they do not like it? Sometimes you have to man up and make it your business if some cowardly bully is shouting obscenities at a crew member especially a female crew member. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 15, 2017 #115 Share Posted August 15, 2017 Sometimes you have to man up and make it your business if some cowardly bully is shouting obscenities at a crew member especially a female crew member. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app My wife is part of the management team in an English Jobcentre and they often get threatened by claimants but fortunately they have security as well as male staff to step in if things get out of hand so that is why i hold my view of stepping in if the occasion warrants with crew especially female being intimidated. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted August 15, 2017 #116 Share Posted August 15, 2017 It amazes me how many here, while professing to be the protector of what they perceive to be a'abused crew. yest have so litle respect for crew. these are adult people, doing adult work, many (most)? are at sea to support their families aback home. It is insulting, iMO, for you to think they welcome your ingterruption and ftteating gthem llike children who do nogt havde the skills to stand up fofr themselves. II would not be surprised if tthey told YOU to put away your c amera and not video them. You well could be are embarassing them. your butting into their business Think ab out it. How would YOU like it? I. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 15, 2017 #117 Share Posted August 15, 2017 It amazes me how many here, while professing to be the protector of what they perceive to be a'abused crew. yest have so litle respect for crew. these are adult people, doing adult work, many (most)? are at sea to support their families aback home. It is insulting, iMO, for you to think they welcome your ingterruption and ftteating gthem llike children who do nogt havde the skills to stand up fofr themselves. II would not be surprised if tthey told YOU to put away your c amera and not video them. You well could be are embarassing them. your butting into their business Think ab out it. How would YOU like it? I. Usually you would just observe as it isn't your business unless it started to get physical because as i posted above i appreciate my wife getting protection at work if necessary. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
NLH Arizona Posted August 15, 2017 #118 Share Posted August 15, 2017 What drives me crazy, are those people who are at the buffet and say, "give me a piece of that" and, of course, there is no "thank you". How about, "could I please have a piece of that" and after it is served, a simple "thank you" would go a long way. I think the best way to counter those that treat the staff in a disrespectful way or left their manners at home, is to treat the crew exactly how they should be treated....with respect! Use your "please" and "thank yous" and "good mornings", etc. If you feel someone's encounter will become physical, call for an Officer to intervene. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slidergirl Posted August 15, 2017 #119 Share Posted August 15, 2017 It amazes me how many here, while professing to be the protector of what they perceive to be a'abused crew. yest have so litle respect for crew. these are adult people, doing adult work, many (most)? are at sea to support their families aback home. It is insulting, iMO, for you to think they welcome your ingterruption and ftteating gthem llike children who do nogt havde the skills to stand up fofr themselves. II would not be surprised if tthey told YOU to put away your c amera and not video them. You well could be are embarassing them. your butting into their business Think ab out it. How would YOU like it? I. As one who has been thankful for the intervention of strangers when I have been verbally assaulted and threatened with physical harm at work, I will be sure to, if I ever meet you in person, to idly stand by and watch when someone does the same to you. It is difficult to theorize what you would do and to criticize others for doing what you would not do IF you have never been on the other side. I did not feel like was being treated like a child or made to feel like I did not have the skills to stand up for myself. There are video cameras at all Front Desks, so I was videotaped, as well as the offenders. If the offender starts to tape me or my co-workers as he (or she - there are some idiot "salty" women around, too) is being less-than-civil, I have no problem with anyone else around whipping out those iPhones/Galaxys/generic smartphone and taping the whole thing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sail7seas Posted August 15, 2017 #120 Share Posted August 15, 2017 I compliment all of you with perfect manners and wonder, are you never rude or insulting even on a public internet forum? always utmost courtesy? How many who whip out their phone to video are actually doing it for the defense r of the crew THEY perceive to be in hthe procerss of being abused by a guest? How many for making themselves feel rightceous and noble? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
grapau27 Posted August 15, 2017 #121 Share Posted August 15, 2017 As one who has been thankful for the intervention of strangers when I have been verbally assaulted and threatened with physical harm at work, I will be sure to, if I ever meet you in person, to idly stand by and watch when someone does the same to you. It is difficult to theorize what you would do and to criticize others for doing what you would not do IF you have never been on the other side. I did not feel like was being treated like a child or made to feel like I did not have the skills to stand up for myself. There are video cameras at all Front Desks, so I was videotaped, as well as the offenders. If the offender starts to tape me or my co-workers as he (or she - there are some idiot "salty" women around, too) is being less-than-civil, I have no problem with anyone else around whipping out those iPhones/Galaxys/generic smartphone and taping the whole thing. So sorry to hear you have had to endure bad basically bullying people and you are first hand agreeing that you are grateful when someone tries to help in that situation. I think we should all help if we see someone being bullied. Sent from my Kestrel using Forums mobile app Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRF Posted August 16, 2017 #122 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Probably why when I say "Thank you" and someone shouts out "No Problem" it makes me cringe. You do know the response to Gracias is De Nada. Da nada means "It is nothing." Different cultures. While in Protuguese, Obrigado, which is used as thank you, actually means, " I am obligated." BTW, for men it is Obrigado, for women, Obrigada. :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRF Posted August 16, 2017 #123 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Sure, I'm a pilot and communication is kept short and simple. Please and thank you aren't expected. Hmm, I am also a pilot, and I say thanks to the controller when I have a request, and they work it in for me. :) I agree you don't typically say please. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SRF Posted August 16, 2017 #124 Share Posted August 16, 2017 Usually you would just observe as it isn't your business unless it started to get physical because as i posted above i appreciate my wife getting protection at work if necessary. Agreed. If it is bad enough AND you witnessed the entire event so you know the WHOLE STORY, then recording and reporting are in order. But if it is getting physical, like the post of the man pouring his drink over his wife's head and started to go further, then I would step in. The first instance is annoying and stressful, but no one's safety is being threatened. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
slidergirl Posted August 16, 2017 #125 Share Posted August 16, 2017 When a upper-level manager reads the Trip Advisor reviews and wants to know who dealt with a guest who wrote a bad review (yes, we CAN find out who you are - you really didn't think it was anonymous...), it's always good to have back up that you did nothing wrong and it was the idiot at fault. Some people have the opportunity to walk away when bullied/verbally assaulted. Some people have to stand there and take the abuse and are expected to immediately return to sunshine and unicorns for the next guest. It does wear on a person. That is why I appreciate the kindness of strangers - it helps get over that idiot when I can't say "excuse me" and leave the Front Desk unattended for a few minutes while I re-gather myself. I'm sure anyone would appreciate it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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