Would you insist your teen daughters stay with you?

[scubapuss]

Hi, My daughters 16,16 and 17 and myself are going on the Freedom in June. This is our yearly girls vacation. I am hoping they will want to be with me. Would you demand it or would you let them go hang with other teens. They are beautiful girls and make friends easily but I don't want to be by myself or have them get into trouble.

[lauren0309]

I would definitely let them hang out with teens their own age. Only set the rules first. Take excursions with you, have dinner with you, and of course check in with you throughout the day of their whereabouts and set a curfew time at night. I'm sure you wil enjoy your alone time too.

[time4u2go]

Also make sure they ALWAYS stay together.

[It'sRC4ME]

I agree with dinner and excursions with Mom. I also think that at 16 and 17 the will want to hang with other teens, and should be allowed to do so with the following rules in place:

 

1. They must stay together, except for the briefest of bathroom breaks or to get a soda.

2. They must not enter anyone's cabin for any reason, or let anyone into their (your?) cabin

3. They must not accept drinks from anyone but a bartender or bar waiter. (Beautiful 16 and 17 year olds can unfortunatley attract the attention of men with bad intentions, or a cruise or anywhere else they go).

4. Give them a curfew or at least a time when they must check in with you.

 

This should make for a vacation that'll be fun and relaxing for everyone, but also keep you from worrying too much.

[Stacylee]

We have let our kids go on their own - definitely. I feel comfortable that they are safe (we watched that 'Safe at Sea' show last night and I STILL feel safe). Last cruise was just DS and myself - he is 14. He had a blast going to be with his new friends after dinner and was always back in the cabin at the curfew (midnight on the Majesty).

 

With 3 teenage girls though, I think I would insist they kind of hang together late at night. It isn't your girls that are the problem, it would be the drunk adults late at night that would worry me more. That is something you have no control over. So I would suggest they either stay together after dinner, or hang with you. Just a common sense thing :o .

[WhiteSoxFan]

I agree with everyone regarding your girls. For you I would participate in the Roll Call thread and sign up for the Meet & Mingle. That way you will already have a few friends on board.

[cavkc]

We cruise with our two teenage boys, both of whom will be 14 this year. The main reason they love crusing is that they have the freedom that they crave at this age but in a 'relatively' safe environment. Nothing is guaranteed anywhere, but so long as they are sensible and know the ground rules they should be ok, or at least as ok as they will be anywhere in this day and age.

 

The boys always have an inside cabin, opposite our own and they can generally come and go as they please. We do not insist that they stay together though as being brothers they can get on each others nerves at times and it would probably spoil the cruise for them if they were by each others side 100% of the time. We also find that to a certain extent they make their own friends. If you had only one child with you, you would need to let them go off on their own.

 

The boys do have to check-in with us every couple of hours though, even if it's just to say hi.

 

They eat with us most evenings, but on our last cruise we did let them eat with their friends in the casual dining restaurant on a couple of occassions, which they loved. We buy them both a soda card at the start of the cruise so that they don't have to worry about a drinks bill at the end of the holiday.

[Michuck]

Hi, My daughters 16,16 and 17 and myself are going on the Freedom in June. This is our yearly girls vacation. I am hoping they will want to be with me. Would you demand it or would you let them go hang with other teens. They are beautiful girls and make friends easily but I don't want to be by myself or have them get into trouble.[/quote

 

Hi Scuba...what you wrote made me remember how it felt when my kids reached 'that' age. I'd let them go with their peers....all the suggestions of staying together, dining with you, checking in with you are good.....as far as not wanting to be by yourself, read the following. It's an excerpt from Kahlil Gibran's "The Prophet". . .

 

"And a woman who held a babe against her bosom said, "Speak to us of Children."

And he said:

Your children are not your children.

They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.

They come through you but not from you,

And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts.

For they have their own thoughts.

You may house their bodies but not their souls,

For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.

You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.

For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.

The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrows may go swift and far.

Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;

For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable."

 

Michele

[flagger]

I would insist they travel in packs and not going into anyone else's room. I would encourage them to have the same sense of awareness on the ship as they do walking in their own home at night.

 

As far as drinking, I would order their drinks for them and allow them only to drink in your presence and be sure they know to turn down offers from ANYONE on board no matter how hot they are or how good they think their intentions are.

[CaesarsNcruisin4me]

I agree with all the previous posters, let them go. Don't worry about being by yourself. I am a single parent of two teenage boys and the three of us travel frequently. Mostly on all inclusives but I did my first two cruises last year and had a blast! If you're a social person than you won't be alone, you'll meet people wherever you go. And like whitesoxfan said, make sure you sign up for the meet and mingle.

 

Have a great cruise!

 

Sandie

[lindalu62]

I would let them go too, but only after discussing the risks to their safety on a cruise ship (not crime free as some people feel), basic common sense (not talking to strange older men, or going into any area other then a common area, and I would not allow them to wear any clothes that are too provacative (teeny bikinis, etc) that may attract the wrong kind of attention! Walkie talkies might be a good idea, so they can touch base with you and vice versa.

[Artemis]

We travel with our kids, and I agree 100% with everything that's been said, especially about all of the rules. Please also give the girls the speech (once!) about how it doesn't matter if your rules aren't the same as other parents' rules. It never ceases to amaze me how many parents are happy to turn their kids over to the ship when they step on board. Of course, it's the behavior of those kids and their selfish parents that gives every other family cruiser a bad name in the eyes of many cruisers who'd just as soon see no children on board.

 

For you, mom, I'd say, get out there and enjoy your time! A great way to make some "friends" is to pick an activity that appeals to you and attend consistently. For example, we are among those who are Trivia freaks, and we've had more fun teaming up with other regulars. When you walk into a session and see familiar, friendly faces, it feels good, like a Cheers bar sort of scenario. Or go to the piano bar every evening...regulars there, too. Ditto Karaoke buffs, poolside bakers/readers/crossword puzzle workers, gym rats who work out at the same time every day, morning walkers, etc.

 

Take some books or needlework...whatever you enjoy doing but never have enough time to do at home. The day you board, go to the spa and book yourself a massage, or watch for price specials during the week and select something that would make you feel truly pampered.

 

What a lovely thing you've put together for your annual girls vacation! You are creating so many memories, and beware, you might just get everyone hooked on cruising!

[jules815]

I agree with all the previous posters, let them go. Don't worry about being by yourself. I am a single parent of two teenage boys and the three of us travel frequently. Mostly on all inclusives but I did my first two cruises last year and had a blast! If you're a social person than you won't be alone, you'll meet people wherever you go. And like whitesoxfan said, make sure you sign up for the meet and mingle.

 

Have a great cruise!

 

Sandie

 

I've already signed the family up for the M&M. I've also purchased a spiral notebook, and post it notes, to be kept in the cabin for writing notes to one another during the day. We plan on having them check in with us, and I know they will. We have walking talkies as well, but have heard that don't work very well on the ship and people end up giving up. We'll probably bring them along, but not sure if we'll end up using them or not. They weren't very expensive (Target), and we used them while staying at a lodge in Northern Wisconsin a few years ago. Worked great there, but I can see how they wouldn't on a ship.

 

Anyway, I plan on having a great trip! (and it's getting so close, too!!)

[ZoeyZoo]

I would let them hang out with other teens and try to interest them in the organized teen activities. You can try to make some friends too so that you're not alone. I use to show up to activities lone all the time and always made a few new friends.

 

For your daughters, I would just set up some ground rules like stay in your cabin or public places, do not get off the ship without you, get your drinks directly from a staff member, etc. Cruises are quite safe and with common sense they should not get into trouble.

 

I would try to set some ground rule about boys too. If you insist they are always in public areas it will keep the frantinizing down quite a bit. Encourage them to seek you out if someone is bothering them.

[peteinsonj]

I agree with the other posters -- absolutely not in other people's rooms, have dinner/ or check-in with you, late night curfew (as much for your sake!).

 

I remember the first night on the first cruise a few years back -- it was 11 pm and I couldn't find her! I went to the pursers desk, they dispatched security with her pictures across the ship. Within about 1/2 and hour -- there was a knock at my door (and I dreaded who was there). But it was a bunch of kids all doing a scavenger hunt (part of the ship activities). She was with a group of other kids, laughing, all looking for fun things from their parents. It was then that I knew she (and I) would have a great time! (and had I only checked with the teen staff -- I wouldn't have had to worry)

 

That said, my daughter has made great friends from crusing (she's now 18). People across the country who will get together on our other vacations or when they are in our area. Just a couple of weeks ago a couple of girls and a guy came for a few days at my house. They were helpful, courteous, thankful -- and I found out the one guy is an Eagle scout! (no wonder he was such a great kid!).

 

You and your children will have a fabulous time --

 

Pete

[iluvcruzin]

There are so many great suggestions here. The main one is sticking together as a group. Bless your heart for having twins so close to a single birth. My single is 2 years older than my twins.

 

I required my girls at that age to stick together. We had breakfast and dinner together as well as taking tours. I would travel alone with them (single parent). In the evenings we would spend time together. It worked out just fine. Now.. as far as a land trip at that age.. oh my.. then it was a non-stop hunt for the guys event. I remember taking 5 16 year old girls to Myrtle Beach. That was enough to make me almost have a heart attack. I think the friends brought out the crazy behavior. lol.

[Browezilla]

1) Let them hang out with other teens

2) They must stay together. No horseplay near the railings.

3) They must carry small walkie talkies with them ON

4) Set a curfew

5) If you are concerned, buy each a small personal audible alarm. They are about $10, and create an ear piercing sound. I use one to rig stuff I leave on the beach in case some one tries to make off with it.

[Bruin Steve]

We cruised many times with our daughters--now 20 and 22--from the time they were 3 and 5 up until the summer before last...

 

We ALWAYS let them hang out with other kids ...obviously at 3 and 5, that meant we deposited them with the kids program...but, as they became teenagers, it really was more a case of them wandering the ship on their own a lot of the time...

 

Think about it--they do this at home, right?

They always found a lot of other great kids in their age group...and they like to do a lot of the things teens do--and most of it was just hanging around and talking...

 

As with everyone else who answered, we always had a set of rules and reminders...

We always required them to either stick with each other...or with other GROUPS of friends (and we always tried to find some way to run into them in order to be introduced to their new friends)...

We always had them check in with us periodically and let us know where they'd be and what they would be doing and with whom.

 

At 15 and 16, yes, NO DRINKING...(Of course, on most ships, drinking age is 18, so once they hit that age, it became difficult to enforce...but, knowing we were never far off--and we were paying the bill--they never abused that situation--they might ask to order a single drink a night...and knew the reasonable limits)...

 

We always reminded them of the various dangers of going off with strangers...of looking out for each other...of avoiding bad situations...and of staying well behaved and in control...and they never let us down...

 

We generally changed th rules in port--We typically had them either stay with us in port--or go only on a cruise ship shore excursion and return directly to the ship (typically, if they went on their own, it was the horseback riding excursions--and we were okay with them doing this through the ship with the bus picking them up and delivering them back)

 

But the real question here might be the OP herself...

With the girls off doing their own thing, I think she more feared her being alone...

Here's my take: Nothing keeps you from asking the girls, from time to time, if they want to do something WITH you...they might surprise you...Our girls usually liked to sit with US at the "show" before running off with their friends...

Second, find your own crowd of friends...there are 2,000 others on the typical ship...many are in a similar circumstance...And cruisers tend to be a social sort...We like to hang with other people...

 

Have fun...