Had to wear sandals to dinner

[Mary Jane 711]

On my last cruise I had to wear my only shoes that would fit on to my swollen feet. When I cruise, I swell up, probably from the salty, rich food. It was quite embarrassing, as some people are quite judgemental and gave me some awful hurtful looks. Sorry, but thats the way it goes. I suppose someone on here will say "maybe you shouldn't go on a cruise, your shoes are ruining my cruise". Or " stay home and you can go barefoot." Honestly all the nit picking about what people wear makes me sad for the human race.

Watch for me, I will be the lady all dressed up with the fat feet.:p

[Bowie MeMe]

Hi Mary Jane, I am so with you. My personal rule is that all fashion must stop at the ankle cause the feet rule. I have worn a very nice formal black dress with black "tennies" on my feet and I try to just keep on going in spite of the stares. This cruise I will be exactly one week out of a CAM walking cast for a broken foot and I know nothing but tennis shoes are approved foot wear for me. I am just thankful it is not Copenhagen on crutches:o ! Sooo for all the fashion police -- some people have problems and don't judge until you "walk in our feet". 11 days until Copenhagen for July 4th Star Princess!

[Beachfrog]

Not only am I wearing sandals in the dining room, but for formal nights, I am wearing flat sandals.:eek::eek: Due to foot pain, I cannot wear any type of heel or shoe that fits tight on my feet. I am so hoping someone will say something to me so I can say, I am so sorry my choice of footwear has ruined your cruise. I guess you will be getting off the next port and flying home. What a shame!:p

[mrgabriel]

Wow - you folks sure are touchy.

 

Let's see if I understand you correctly. You were on a cruise and someone looked at you askance because you weren't wearing high heel shoes. And you allowed this to bother you enough that you had to bring it up here? My advice is that you increase your Vitamin D consumption and get your skin to grow a little bit thicker.

 

People who come to a PUBLIC messaging board for advice are bound to encounter some kind people, and some truly nasty people who take advantage of the fact that they are anonymous and will attack anyone or anything. My experience has been that the majority of people on the Fashion board are kind. (If you want to see nasty posts, go spend some time on the Weight Watchers boards. The people here are sweethearts.) Yes, some will hoot and hollar and make fun of a question, but haven't you ever been with a group of people where the exact thing takes place? There will always be someone who says something that cuts to the bone ... so you deal with it and move on, or find a new place to hang your hat.

 

One of the greatest challenges of electronic communication is recognizing that words can be unbelievably harsh in black and white. Things that may come across as sarcastic in person often look cruel in the written word. But people who choose to ask for opinions on message boards have to expect that they are going to hear things they don't like. If you're gonna ask for free advice ... you'll get what you pay for.

[Happy ks]

Whoa!!! Do you really think people gave you looks because of your shoes? That is ridiculous. Some people may notice, some may not approve, but gave you looks? I'll notice (sometimes) but honestly, if I see someone dressed up, wearing flats the first thing I think of is that they have an issue of some sort with their feet.

 

I'll admire beautiful shoes, but hardly pay any attention to the rest.

 

My daughter (at the age of 14) thinks everyone is staring at her, all the time. I cannot wait until she gets over herself, not a soul is "staring" at her. People may glance her way, we all glance at people, otherwise, we'd be walking around like zombies. I remember going through that phase as a teen, before you mature and gain some self confidence.

 

I'll agree with mrgabriel.

[judy&steve]

Hi Mary Jane, I am so with you. My personal rule is that all fashion must stop at the ankle cause the feet rule. I have worn a very nice formal black dress with black "tennies" on my feet and I try to just keep on going in spite of the stares. This cruise I will be exactly one week out of a CAM walking cast for a broken foot and I know nothing but tennis shoes are approved foot wear for me. I am just thankful it is not Copenhagen on crutches:o ! Sooo for all the fashion police -- some people have problems and don't judge until you "walk in our feet". 11 days until Copenhagen for July 4th Star Princess!

 

Hey Bowie MeMe --

I work for a brace business.

Did you get your CAM walker in Glen Burnie by any chance?

--Judy

[Mary Jane 711]

I am not sure if I want to come to a place where I get slammed for making an honest remark on a message board. Are you lurking and waiting for something so sour to say? I was merely making a statement, and yes there were many stares, and yes I do let it bother me for a minute. Actually, I don't really give a damn, I can handle myself. But please, have a heart people, and you know who you are, not everyone can be lovely.

[konakraft]

Don't worry Mary Jane....I'm with you on the shoe issues......I don't wear heels, and my feet swell from the heat and a medical condition, so I wear whatever I can get on......so I better be prepared with my black satin Isotoner slippers :p !!!

[Bowie MeMe]

Hi Judy,

My husband bought the CAM walker here in Bowie. I was so glad to learn that the walker was not as uncomfortable as it looks but after 3 months I am oh so glad to have it sitting in the closet. The Dr. says to take it with me "in case I need it" but NO WAY Jose!:D I'm already over the suitcase weight limit. Thanks for your reply MeMe.

[Host Star]

On my last cruise I had to wear my only shoes that would fit on to my swollen feet. When I cruise, I swell up, probably from the salty, rich food. It was quite embarrassing, as some people are quite judgemental and gave me some awful hurtful looks. Sorry, but thats the way it goes. I suppose someone on here will say "maybe you shouldn't go on a cruise, your shoes are ruining my cruise". Or " stay home and you can go barefoot." Honestly all the nit picking about what people wear makes me sad for the human race.

Watch for me, I will be the lady all dressed up with the fat feet.:p

maybe the hurtful looks were because they knew your pain, seeing your swollen feet and not because you were wearing sandals.. there is nothing wrong with wearing sandals, a lot of advice here with formal attire has been for strappy sandal type shoes,, be they flat or heels, no matter.. and certainly in the tropics sandals are the best thing to wear for comfort and style..

[happysinglemom]

You were on a cruise and someone looked at you askance because you weren't wearing high heel shoes. And you allowed this to bother you enough that you had to bring it up here? My advice is that you increase your Vitamin D consumption and get your skin to grow a little bit thicker.

 

 

Agree 100%.

 

People are WAY too touchy about this stuff. Grow a spine.

[ladycaveat]

I had this same problem on my last cruise . . . I'd never had it before. My feet ankles swelled up so bad, it was like having sausages for feet. I went to medical and asked why? I was told that the salt in the ship's water caused it. It was the first time I didn't get a soda card and drank nothing but the iced tea, water, lemonade and whatever else was free . . . all made from the ship's water. Believe me . . . on my next cruise . . . it will only be bottled water and canned soft drinks!

[endi302]

Wear whatever you want! You will still look better than the idiots who wear shorts and tank tops to the dining room!

And those slamming this post should probably keep your opinions to yourself. There is nothing wrong with caring about the way you are dressed and what others think.

enjoy your cruise, I once was on a cruise with a gentleman and his wife and they wore fuzzy slippers every day all day long. He had peppy lepew slippers for formal night. The couple were a lot of fun to be around and we all had fun guessing the slippers of the day!

Diane

[BlueHerons]

I think that you don't give people enough credit.

 

Honestly, do you really think people stand around on a cruise ship judging other people for what they wear??

 

I think they are more interested in having fun with their families and loved ones.

[LandLockedInAZ]

Honestly, do you really think people stand around on a cruise ship judging other people for what they wear??

 

I think a newcomer reading some of the posts on this board would think exactly that!

 

To the OP: I am sorry to hear of your feet problems. Do what you need to do and let others stare or wonder if need be.

I find the negative responses to this lady a bit harsh.

[happysinglemom]

And those slamming this post should probably keep your opinions to yourself. There is nothing wrong with caring about the way you are dressed and what others think.

 

Of course there is nothing wrong with caring about the way you are dressed and what others think. I would be the first to wish that MORE people today would do so. However, to come here to a public fashion forum and imply that anyone would have their cruise ruined because of what she chose to wear on her feet, well, that is really quite absurd. She may have received looks (though honestly I cannot believe anyone really would even notice) but so what? Much ado about nothing - IMHO.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Wow - you folks sure are touchy.

 

Let's see if I understand you correctly. You were on a cruise and someone looked at you askance because you weren't wearing high heel shoes. And you allowed this to bother you enough that you had to bring it up here? My advice is that you increase your Vitamin D consumption and get your skin to grow a little bit thicker.

 

People who come to a PUBLIC messaging board for advice are bound to encounter some kind people, and some truly nasty people who take advantage of the fact that they are anonymous and will attack anyone or anything. My experience has been that the majority of people on the Fashion board are kind. (If you want to see nasty posts, go spend some time on the Weight Watchers boards. The people here are sweethearts.) Yes, some will hoot and hollar and make fun of a question, but haven't you ever been with a group of people where the exact thing takes place? There will always be someone who says something that cuts to the bone ... so you deal with it and move on, or find a new place to hang your hat.

 

One of the greatest challenges of electronic communication is recognizing that words can be unbelievably harsh in black and white. Things that may come across as sarcastic in person often look cruel in the written word. But people who choose to ask for opinions on message boards have to expect that they are going to hear things they don't like. If you're gonna ask for free advice ... you'll get what you pay for.

 

Gee, I think this poster isn't getting what the OP is saying. In other words, the fashion police shouldn't be so quick to judge. You don't know if perhaps someone's suitcase didn't get aboard or maybe that outfit that someone thought would fit, just didn't look right when donning right before dinner. Instead of dumping over this person, either be supportive or don't reply.

 

BTW, on our last cruise on the third formal night, my hubby said he decided to wear his regular shoes instead of his dressier ones, which were causing him some pain. For the same reason, I decided to wear my flat sandals instead of my ones with heels. I'm just 5'3" and wearing a really short, short dress. If others had a problem with that, I just didn't care.

[Nliedel]

I'm sorry, but I would be more than shocked if people really were looking down at your feet and jusdging harshly. I agree that most people on a cruise just want to have fun. I would never make a crack about someone's painfully swollen feet. That would be beyond horribly rude and tacky!

[Mary Jane 711]

Thanks, thanks, thanks for the kind remarks. Those all meant the world to me. Maybe I was just looking for a little kindness yesterday,we all have those days right? I am going to go forth next cruise, in December and not worry if I get the up and down once over look again. Argghhhh, maybe I could sew sequins on my sandals, which are Birkenstocks, BTW. LOL. Happy cruising, and thanks again for the kind words....:D

[Happy ks]

I actually think everyone has been rather nice to you, the only criticism I would have is that you are probably reading people all wrong and not giving them a chance.

 

If you really don't care, why are you persisting in this quest for pity?

 

I'll reiterate, it's ridiculous to think that people are staring at you. You would have to be either very well dressed or totally weird for me to even notice you. That people may glance your way does not mean they are staring at you and making snap judgement. Perhaps they are searching behind you for a person they are expecting to show up, maybe they think they know you from somewhere and are trying to place you. That you are so sensitive about the shoes you wore mystifies me.

 

I've been on several cruises and I've seen it all, from the old woman dressed up like a Princess (I thought she was marvelous), to the people who wear a sparkly T-shirt with black jeans and call it formal. I don't stare, I notice, but I don't really give a hoot what other people are wearing. I'm more concerned with myself, just as everyone else on the ship is.

 

Wear your sandals, I don't care. If you really think people are harsh here on the fashion board, perhaps you shouldn't read public forums, some people are just too sensitive.

[happysinglemom]

I don't stare, I notice, but I don't really give a hoot what other people are wearing. I'm more concerned with myself, just as everyone else on the ship is.

 

 

That's a good way to put it Happy ks. Exactly how I would describe me, and most people. I may notice you...but I would certainly never stare. Just doesn't matter that much to me. And I can't imagine who it would matter to either.

[BasenjiMom]

On my last cruise I had to wear my only shoes that would fit on to my swollen feet. When I cruise, I swell up, probably from the salty, rich food. It was quite embarrassing, as some people are quite judgemental and gave me some awful hurtful looks. Sorry, but thats the way it goes. I suppose someone on here will say "maybe you shouldn't go on a cruise, your shoes are ruining my cruise". Or " stay home and you can go barefoot." Honestly all the nit picking about what people wear makes me sad for the human race.

Watch for me, I will be the lady all dressed up with the fat feet.:p

 

My feet swell also, plus, I have 'deformed' little toes so I have trouble finding shoes that fit well, and even then I don't wear a pair 2 days in a row to avoid blisters.

Hence, the 6 pairs that will be traveling to Alaska with me. I learned long ago, if my feet hurt, I just don't enjoy my day, so I will wear what feels best, and tough I will try to have appropriate shoes for each occasion, I cannot promise to be successful.

[snie]

On my last cruise, there was a fabulous older lady that had the shoe thing figured out. She must have been 75-80, and she had a different sequined dress (ALL sequins) every night, not just formal night. Every dress was a different color. Red, Gold, Green, Black.....

 

Clearly her feet hurt her, but she didn't want to wear "undressy shoes", so she had penny loafers which were covered in sequins that matched her dress. :D I have no idea where she got them, someone must have made them custom!!

 

The lesson is wear what you want!

[AZPam]

I totally feel your pain! My feet swell just horribly after about the second day, so I always plan accordingly. I have a pair of strappy sandals, low heel just for cruising that I won't leave home without. Maybe they aren't dressy enough, but if others think that then it's their problem.

 

Some people who haven't had this experience of swelling feet just won't understand, but don't let them get you down!

[LandLockedInAZ]

GEEZZZZZ....HappyKS....you must not be too happy!

Why are you so nasty?

 

I've been on this board for quite awhile and I think I have a feeling for the type of person Kathy (HappyKS) is. I, too, was a bit taken aback by her comments because they seemed, to me, out of character.

 

However,

One of the greatest challenges of electronic communication is recognizing that words can be unbelievably harsh in black and white. [/Quote]

I guess this is what it all boils down to.

 

My impression, FWIW, is that some of the posts that I and others consider negative are coming from people who feel defensive about the OP's comments and the OP feels defensive because she has read some comments on this board that have made her feel like she's not going to meet the approval of the fashion police.

I would hope we could all set aside our reactions and have concern for the OP's health issues which allow her to wear only comfy shoes.

 

Perhaps we could redirect this thread by helping the OP not only to feel more comfortable about her choice of footwear, but also show those out there with the problem feet some wonderfully dressy options... such as:

http://www.elegantoriginals.com/

(check out the Bridal Slippers and Ballerinas) and

http://www.laceandlavender.com/

(click on Bridal Sneakers)