Not so happy solo stories

[Rivercat]

The only problem I seem to have encountered is a weird sort of suspicion that people have of a woman traveling alone. No, not everyone has it, but sometimes I get the oddest looks. Sometimes women are instantly on the defensive thinking I'm there to steal their husbands from them (oh please).

 

LOL! While you're sitting there thinking, 'oh you poor thing, how did you end up married to this boob?' :D

 

I travel a lot on my own anyway, and cruising is a great way to see places that might be more difficult or uncomfortable traveling alone as a woman if I had to fly there and stay in a hotel. I'm really interested in the RCI sailings that stop in Turkey and Croatia, for instance.

 

The sailing I just did on Vision of the Seas worked out perfectly because I "met" a few people via the Cruisecritic Roll Call, one of whom was at my dinner seating. I also became friendly with a couple of other women at the table, so we all went our separate ways during the day and met back in the evening for dinner to share stories and go to shows or whatever afterward.

 

The only time I felt a little odd was on one of the excursion tours where I was the only solo and almost all the others were couples of, um, advanced ages. Because we were all wearing little stickers on our shirts, people in old town Puerto Vallarta actually made fun of us. These were not the natives, of course, just the non-cruise ship tourists :rolleyes:

[airlink diva]

The only problem I seem to have encountered is a weird sort of suspicion that people have of a woman traveling alone. No, not everyone has it, but sometimes I get the oddest looks. Sometimes women are instantly on the defensive thinking I'm there to steal their husbands from them (oh please).

 

Also one night at dinner, a man asked me what I did for a living. I said I was a secretary in a law firm. This was on Seabourn, a line that (I guess) seems to attract well to do passengers (I am not). You should have seen the look on his face. I tell you, I could almost read his mind (I'm on Seabourn and I'm seated next to a SECRETARY?). He was CEO of something, I don't remember what. Most of the passengers on Seabourn, by the way, aren't like that.

 

I sometimes feel awkward traveling alone, I'll be honest. But the alternative is not cruising and forget THAT! One of the things I really like about Seabourn is...they solve the dinner alone problem. As a solo lady traveler, you will get printed invitations to a hosted table left on your door for that evening. On a fourteen day cruise, I had fourteen invitations. They figured out that I always said yes!!!

 

Jane :rolleyes:

I understand totally!! I'm a lead ramp agent for a regional airline. Mainly my job is loading,unloading and powerback the aircrafts out the gate. I work outside in the rain,heat,cold,snow,etc. I make good money and I travel quite often.

There are times when I sailed and on land trips that there are some people who think people like us don't know about wine,current world situations,traveling,etc. I have no shame in my job and in fact, I make just as much as my best friend and she has a master's in her field.

I learn when working at a casino to never judge a person by their outside looks. Some of our high rollers often came in dress very plain. Yet, these people had serious money.

I now just overlook such people and enjoy myself.

Keep your head up girlfriend!!

Happy sailing!!

Second time around and my 40th birthday cruise on the

MAASDAM

10/24/08-11/07/08

[crusinpsychRN]

I learned at a young age not to assume someone is "below" you in "station." My husband and I would eat at a Miami cafeteria at least once a week and always had the same very personable waiter, Benny. This was in 1976. We'd been going there for about 4 years when I graduated college. Benny, who was a middle aged black man, congratulated me and asked if I would go on to a higher degree. Somewhere it came out he had a master's in education and taught high school. The wait job was a 2nd job....I felt like a total jerk. Never again would I assume something about a person without asking.

[Rivercat]

Somewhere it came out he had a master's in education and taught high school. The wait job was a 2nd job....I felt like a total jerk. Never again would I assume something about a person without asking.

 

Good point! I was behind a very snotty woman at Whole Foods market the other day who was being horrendous to the poor checker. When she'd gone, I expressed my sympathy to the checker for having to put up with customers like that, and it eventually came out that she was working this job so she could finish her PhD in engineering and was probably far better educated than most of the people who came through her line every day.

 

It amazes me how many people feel the need to pump themselves up by looking down on others and treating them disrespectfully, no matter who they are or what "position" they hold :mad:

[CruiserKid]

I've taken over 30 cruises. I've cruised solo about half of those cruises. I primarily take cruises to relax and enjoy, but I do participate in singles' activities. I've only had one real problem with a solo cruise.

 

It was on Carnival back then when they had the Guaranteed Single Share program that they match you up with a cabinmate and you paid only the double occupancy rate. My cabin mate for this Mexican Riviera cruise on the Jubilee was from California. He was also a solo traveler and was a bit shy.

 

I introduced myself and we talked for a little while. He was assigned the same dinning room table as I was. He wasn't a bad guy, but he was like a magnet following me. Everywhere I went, there he was. In the morning he would ask, "Where are we going to eat breakfast?" I told him to go on and got into the bathroom. The guy would not leave. He would patiently wait for me to exit the bathroom and followed me wherever I went for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He would also sit in the lounge chair next to me. He would stand next to me as I looked at the sea over the railing. If I went to a show, there he was next to me. If I went to the dance club, there he was.

 

I hinted many times that I wanted to be alone, but he kept following. I politely said that I wanted to spend sometime alone listening to music (headphones) while playing with my gameboy. He would respond that was fine and would be sitting near me. When I went to my cabin, he followed me. I knew he didn't like swimming, so I went swimming, but there he was by the pool waiting for me to finish. I would ask him to go do something he'd like, but always seem to stay near me. I actually went up to a drunk lady and asked her to dance with him so I can get away. She did, but he soon found me.

 

By the 4th day, the second port day, I couldn't stand it anymore. He wanted to know if we were going to have breakfast onboard or in town. I politely told him I was going to spend sometime in town meeting up with a friend (this was true) and would like to do it alone. He said that was fine. When I got off the ship, guess who was right behind me. I went to this lonely non-touristic area and there he was about 15 feet behind me. Coinsidence he was going my way or following me? I snaped at him. I know I was very rude, but I tried many times being nice and he didn't get it. I said "Don't you get it, I want to be alone. Stop following me." I'm sure I hurt his feelings, but I needed to get away from him.

 

He sadly turned away. I felt so bad, but I couldn't enjoy myself any longer with him so close. I needed my space. I enjoyed my day in Mazatlan, met up with my friend and returned to my cruise in the evening.

 

Unbelievable, but the guy never really got it. He still followed me, but from a longer distance and not 100% of the time. He took pictures of me riding the water slide with his camera. He promised to send them to me. I kindly asked him not to bother. I asked him to destroy those pictures. I told him that it was nothing personal, but I cruise solo to enjoy some alone time.

 

You could have guessed it, we disemarked together and said our quick goodbye's. I refused to give him any personal information for futher contact. I didn't hate the guy, but I didn't want a magnetic cabinmate.

 

That has been the only bad experience as a solo cruiser.

[sandy toes]

No"bad" times. A few not wonderful ones...like already mentioned at meal time. Seated with a group and no one else shows up after the first night. Just asked to be moved. Problem solved. Another time, had a man repeatedly wanting to return to my cabin when he learned I was not traveling with a man. I tried my best to be nice. On day 3, I told him I had just lost my husband I really did not want any male company. He continued to be just everywhere. He would grab my elbow at times as I walked about the deck, to walk with me. I asked nicely for him NOT to touch me. I finally told him on day 5, to just stay away. He then said (I will never forget this!),"Why didn't you just tell me you were gay? "...I am not and was shocked to think he thought so much of himself to think that would be the only reason why a female would not want his company! For the most part, I have had wonderful times and made a lot of good friends. Never did I feel like I was is a nasty situation, or felt fearful.

[Rivercat]

I didn't hate the guy, but I didn't want a magnetic cabinmate.

 

Poor guy, but how annoying! I wonder if there would have been any way to grab a member of the cruise director's staff and get them to babysit? :cool:

[jp2001]

...

I said "Don't you get it, I want to be alone.

Stop following me." I'm sure I hurt his feelings, but I needed to get away from him.

(...)

 

Unbelievable, but the guy never really got it. He still followed me, but from a longer distance and not 100% of the time. He took pictures of me riding the water slide with his camera. He promised to send them to me. I kindly asked him not to bother. I asked him to destroy those pictures. I told him that it was nothing personal, but I cruise solo to enjoy some alone time.

 

I would have told him to stop following me way before you did, you are a patience angel compared to what I would have become in the same situation. I think I would get very worried about a stranger following me like that.

[jp2001]

... "Why didn't you just tell me you were gay? "...I am not and was shocked to think he thought so much of himself to think that would be the only reason why a female would not want his company!

 

That is too funny.

[tekdiva]

What do you do when you walk into the diningroom on your own?

 

The same thing you do on land when you walk into a restaurant alone - "Table for one, please". I go a lot of places by myself because if I wait for any of my friends to do some of the things that I like (like dine at expensive restaurants) - I may never go (unless I am treating of course).

[tekdiva]

He then said (I will never forget this!),"Why didn't you just tell me you were gay? "...I am not and was shocked to think he thought so much of himself to think that would be the only reason why a female would not want his company!

 

I would have told him something like "I would be happy if you weren't always around!" (Going back to the original meaning of gay)

[dnice1979]

I wait for any of my friends to do some of the things that I like (like dine at expensive restaurants) - I may never go (unless I am treating of course).

 

I agree the whole waiting for friends is what prompted me to take my first solo cruise. It was wonderful and I cannot wait until December. The only down side to crusing solo is the dreaded single supplement.

[crusinpsychRN]

I agree the whole waiting for friends is what prompted me to take my first solo cruise. It was wonderful and I cannot wait until December. The only down side to crusing solo is the dreaded single supplement.

 

What ship and when in December? I'm on Glory Dec 6, 2008, my first solo.

[dnice1979]

What ship and when in December? I'm on Glory Dec 6, 2008, my first solo.

 

I will be one the Destiny on December 01-06. I will be returning when you are leaving

[tinlizzy]

I've always wondered if I would like a solo cruise. My son will be leaving for college in a year -he loves, loves, loves cruises and we have gone on 4 so far with another scheduled for June. I am positive that he would continue to go with me but I kind of like the idea of finally going when it suits me and not because of a school schedule.

 

dnice1979 - you asked the racism question. My ex is black, son is mixed: never encountered any. My son does not look mixed though and occasionally I get the, "Where did you adopt him from?" or worse...we sat with a gay couple who at first thought we were a couple :eek:!

 

When we were on the Destiny whites were the minority. I would say blacks were the majority followed by Puerto Ricans. I was shocked and disappointed that I didn't know this because it was the only cruise that I went on with a friend and left my son at home :(.

 

Would a long or short cruise be better for first time solo cruise?

[dnice1979]

I've always wondered if I would like a solo cruise. My son will be leaving for college in a year -he loves, loves, loves cruises and we have gone on 4 so far with another scheduled for June. I am positive that he would continue to go with me but I kind of like the idea of finally going when it suits me and not because of a school schedule.

 

dnice1979 - you asked the racism question. My ex is black, son is mixed: never encountered any. My son does not look mixed though and occasionally I get the, "Where did you adopt him from?" or worse...we sat with a gay couple who at first thought we were a couple :eek:!

 

When we were on the Destiny whites were the minority. I would say blacks were the majority followed by Puerto Ricans. I was shocked and disappointed that I didn't know this because it was the only cruise that I went on with a friend and left my son at home :(.

 

Would a long or short cruise be better for first time solo cruise?

 

I did a 5 day on my first solo cruise to be perfectly honest the 5 day was perfect if I went any longer without sleep I don't know what would have become of me :D

[heatherandfred]

Has anyone one ever encountered racism while being on a cruise.

 

As a black woman who has cruised here in the states and abroad, I have experienced racism. My mom and I went on a cruise to Greece in 94 and was seated with a Fillipino couple and a gay male couple. The couple decided that they wanted to change tables, so it was me and mom and the two gay guys. We had a ball, very pleasant conversation. Tony and Don from Australia. I ran into the Fillipino woman on the deck, I'm minding my business when she asks me "Where is your friend?" I'm like "My friend?" I'm like that's my Mother, she fell apart.

 

While on the same cruise, sunning myself on the deck, mom and me finished eating and were sitting there. But, let's go back. We took a bus to the ship and there were only a few people on the bus. There was this Russian group that was on also. Well we're sitting in the sun with our plates inbetween us, I look up and see one of the Russian men come towards us with his plates. I think that he's just going to put them to be cleaned somewhere. He puts his plates on top of ours and walks away!

 

One of the crew, who was black, saw this and he rushed over to take the plates. My mother was sputtering as she was in shock! I told her to calm down and what I did was take his plates and ours and walked back over to them and told him, "I believe these are yours" I then set the plates down in front of him and walked back to my chair.

[yellowbird23]

You go girl! That is exactly what I would have done and I'm not black! I am so proud of you...:D

[dobelover]

I haven't cruised solo yet but have gone on shore excursions alone. My only problem was a beach trip in Coz. The surf was a little rough and the beach was crowded. I wasn't comfortable going into the water without a buddy.

 

 

Sue

[dnice1979]

As a black woman who has cruised here in the states and abroad, I have experienced racism. My mom and I went on a cruise to Greece in 94 and was seated with a Fillipino couple and a gay male couple. The couple decided that they wanted to change tables, so it was me and mom and the two gay guys. We had a ball, very pleasant conversation. Tony and Don from Australia. I ran into the Fillipino woman on the deck, I'm minding my business when she asks me "Where is your friend?" I'm like "My friend?" I'm like that's my Mother, she fell apart.

 

While on the same cruise, sunning myself on the deck, mom and me finished eating and were sitting there. But, let's go back. We took a bus to the ship and there were only a few people on the bus. There was this Russian group that was on also. Well we're sitting in the sun with our plates inbetween us, I look up and see one of the Russian men come towards us with his plates. I think that he's just going to put them to be cleaned somewhere. He puts his plates on top of ours and walks away!

 

One of the crew, who was black, saw this and he rushed over to take the plates. My mother was sputtering as she was in shock! I told her to calm down and what I did was take his plates and ours and walked back over to them and told him, "I believe these are yours" I then set the plates down in front of him and walked back to my chair.

 

Oh my :eek: I love the way you handled that situation mine was not that bad compared to your experience.

[Lois R]

As a black woman who has cruised here in the states and abroad, I have experienced racism. My mom and I went on a cruise to Greece in 94 and was seated with a Fillipino couple and a gay male couple. The couple decided that they wanted to change tables, so it was me and mom and the two gay guys. We had a ball, very pleasant conversation. Tony and Don from Australia. I ran into the Fillipino woman on the deck, I'm minding my business when she asks me "Where is your friend?" I'm like "My friend?" I'm like that's my Mother, she fell apart.

 

While on the same cruise, sunning myself on the deck, mom and me finished eating and were sitting there. But, let's go back. We took a bus to the ship and there were only a few people on the bus. There was this Russian group that was on also. Well we're sitting in the sun with our plates inbetween us, I look up and see one of the Russian men come towards us with his plates. I think that he's just going to put them to be cleaned somewhere. He puts his plates on top of ours and walks away!

 

One of the crew, who was black, saw this and he rushed over to take the plates. My mother was sputtering as she was in shock! I told her to calm down and what I did was take his plates and ours and walked back over to them and told him, "I believe these are yours" I then set the plates down in front of him and walked back to my chair.

 

WOW...so sorry this happened to you.:(

Sometimes you really have to wonder about people and what

motivates them to do the things they do:eek: :confused:

 

I would be pleased to share a dinner table with you and your

Mom, or an excursion:), should our paths ever cross on the high seas.

[tinlizzy]

As a black woman who has cruised here in the states and abroad, I have experienced racism. *snip

 

I was speechless when I read your post. I have heard that racism is prevalent in Russia towards any non-white race. You did handle that well.

[donaldsc]

I told her to calm down and what I did was take his plates and ours and walked back over to them and told him, "I believe these are yours" I then set the plates down in front of him and walked back to my chair.

 

You are a very fast thinker. I don't think that I would have even thought of that so quickly. If I were in your shoes, I might have thought about dumping them on their head but that would also get you in trouble.

 

Good for you.

 

DON

[Rivercat]

You are a very fast thinker. I don't think that I would have even thought of that so quickly. If I were in your shoes, I might have thought about dumping them on their head but that would also get you in trouble.

 

Good for you.

 

No kidding! I probably would've thrown the plates at their tiny, pointed heads :rolleyes:

[DizzyDallasDi]

Well we're sitting in the sun with our plates inbetween us, I look up and see one of the Russian men come towards us with his plates. I think that he's just going to put them to be cleaned somewhere. He puts his plates on top of ours and walks away!

 

It never ceases to amaze me how completely RUDE people can be! I'm not black so I haven't been subjected to racism, but I've certainly witnessed it and been appalled each time. However, as a female, I've been treated as "lower class" by similarly uneducated and thoughtless males and I can't imagine how these actions made you feel. I applaud your handling of this terrible situation with grace and style!

 

Diane