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Confessions of an unfaithful cruiser

diann744

By diann744,
in Holland America Line

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SeaMatesNYC

SeaMatesNYC

Posted
Posted
Let me be clear, there are some lovely, helpful people on the Cunard boards, probably the majority, in fact, fall into this category. However, there are also some who seem to feel that if you have (1) ever owned a pair of jeans, (2) ever tasted a beer, (3) ever used public transportation; (4) not been invited to share cigars and brandy with the Commodore or (5) booked anything lower than Queen’s Grill category, you should just open a vein now and be done with it.

 

I learned that it is a cardinal sin to wear a white dinner jacket in certain climes, that knowing the difference between black tie and white tie attire is definitely on the heaven entrance exam and that the number of inches between the top of a ladies shoe and the bottom of her hem determines just how much public scorn it is acceptable to heap upon her.

 

Very clever. Just a few clarifications, from one who loves both Cunard and HAL:

 

1) Just don't wear jeans to dinner, Otherwise, they are fine and quite commonly seen during the day. Just no rips or tears, please. And make sure your tattoos are covered.:)

 

2) The Goldon Lion Pub does quite a brisk business in beer, well lager and stout.;)

 

3) Public transport is fine, if the private jet is being serviced, but prefer to fly first class, natch.:D

 

4) Commodore does not smoke, at least not in public. I once had a drink with the Maitre 'D, does that rank?:p

 

5) 85% of Cunard's passengers sail in Britannia grade. But I am really looking forward to getting away from the masses on my next trip!:eek:

 

6) White Dinner Jackets - my word, you learned these rules about climate only recently? Shame on your prep-school housemaster!

 

7) Not sure about the distance btw a ladies shoe and her hem, but can tell you the further away she sits from you in the Commodore Club, the harder it is to land the olive you know where.:eek:

 

Glad you are happy coming back to HAL. Lovely line she is.

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Roboat

Roboat

Posted
Posted

So I just slunk over to that other board just to take peek, mind you, and what do I find? A wonderful thread about not enforcing the dress code. In this case, the OP was complaining about a guy wearing a HAT in the dining room!

 

So I made some popcorn and kept reading.

 

Some of the replies cracked me up......(I just LOVE the Brits)

 

"Was it a NICE hat cap'n or a tarty glittery one?

Gari"

 

"What was the rest of him dressed in ? I can understand your concern if he was wearing ONLY a hat of course."

 

"You certainly get some odd people on cruises (There's me for a start, not to mention H.S. and the kilted warrior) but on the Q.Vic 'Russian Rendezvous' in July one of the cousins wore a v. nice DJ with all the trimmings plus a wrong way round baseball cap. And he had a great deal more hair than I have. The swine!.

Gari"

 

"I totally agree about wearing hats indoors but said person and "crew" did seem to have the correct spelling on their tatoos!"

 

"On my last cruise there was a WOMAN, a CARPET and some BAKED BEANS.

 

DISGRACEFUL.

 

Things have never been the same since we lost Indya and stopped hanging five year old thieves."

 

"

I also saw him. He was what my auld granny would have called, an "a' look at me". I also clocked another one whose baseball cap must have been glued to his head - even for afternoon tea in the Queen's Room.

 

Nae class."

 

"Haw HS git yersel' ower here son - we've goat anither wan that kin speak Jockinese. Gawn yersel' - belt it oot, the flair's yours."

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SeaMatesNYC

SeaMatesNYC

Posted
Posted
So I just slunk over to that other board just to take peek, mind you, and what do I find? A wonderful thread about not enforcing the dress code. In this case, the OP was complaining about a guy wearing a HAT in the dining room!

 

So I made some popcorn and kept reading.

 

Some of the replies cracked me up......(I just LOVE the Brits)

 

 

Roboat:

 

That's tame stuff compared to what we used to get up to! Comes and goes. Take a peek every now and then. Can get rather heated specially when the normal hot topics come up. Good chuckles now and then. We used to have a rule, 10 posts then free to drift way off topic. Doesn't happy so much any more. Happy reading, and happy sailing!

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diann744

diann744

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Posted

Many thanks for all the enthusiastic comments. A few more notes on the QM2 experience.

 

First let me say that I didn’t mean to imply that my new paramour’s family, the Cunard boarders, are universally judgmental or snooty; just a very small, albeit vocal portion of them. It’s also worth noting that I was lurking on the more controversial threads, the ones that bring out the richer relatives, the hardliners, the ones who have strong opinions on matters of dress code, tipping and etiquette, not to mention the ones unhappy with the idea of a scarlet woman joining the party. The fact that I was already nervous about the “class system” on my first visit to my illicit lover’s family also likely colored my impressions.

 

I too saw many funny threads and quickly realized that the poster I thought was the very worst offender, the one who made me want to go running back to Hal and beg forgiveness, was actually posting tongue in cheek.

 

During my six days and nights on the open seas with my secret lover, I saw none of the behavior (behaviour?) I feared; everyone I met was friendly and no one seemed overly concerned with what anyone else was wearing, eating, drinking or tipping. If anyone was casting audible eye rolls my way, it was out of my hearing, for which I’m grateful.

 

One of the problems I’ve had with a small portion of my new beau’s relatives (those who inhabit the boards/and write reviews) is that each in-law writes based on their own expectations/experiences. Of course they do; how can it be otherwise? But sometimes, if you don’t know what the person expected or is used to, it can be impossible to relate it to how you’ll react to a particular thing. This Flushing girl was not born with a silver spoon in her mouth and neither was she taught to hold the silver knife in her right hand while depositing food in her mouth with an upside down fork held in her left. No one at the table scoffed outwardly and their way does seem more efficient, but again, it comes down to expectations and experiences.

 

To use a non-cruise example – we booked a hotel in London that was on the cheaper side. One online review would say, “filthy dirty, I’d not recommend this hotel to anyone” while the very next said, “a bit shabby but at least it’s spotlessly clean.” So, what to expect? We were booked there for three nights but checked out after one. I posted a positive review stating that although it wasn’t for me, especially after the opulence of the QM2, it was clean where it mattered (bathroom, bedding) and if you could overlook dirty switchplates, door jambs and windows, plus being on the fourth floor in a hotel with no elevator, it just might be a gem. It’s all relative. But I don’t need anymore relatives!

 

On the Cunard boards, one post would flatly state that if a woman was not in a floor length evening gown or a gentleman not in a tux, they would be so shunned they would beg to walk the plank while the next bragged about having worn a halter top and thong to the dining room without getting so much as a second glance. (I can promise you that if I donned such an ensemble, I’d get more than a glance – indictment is more like it.)

 

So, here’s my take. QM2 was definitely a bit on the fancier side when it comes to attire. But not so much so that it was terribly obvious. I think I definitely went overboard (where do these puns keep coming from?).

 

Overall atmosphere was a bit more subdued but I think that’s due mainly to the fact that 90 plus percent of the passengers were British and they always seem a bit more refined than your average American.

 

An interesting note – I expected the age range to skew older than HAL or at least keep pace. In fact, I thought it was much younger than I’m used to seeing. No kids but averages in the fifties and sixties, I’d say.

 

Things I Thought Were Better on Cunard –

 

Embarkation – As soon as you board, you can make your way to your stateroom. Not that I mind having a drink or two first, but HAL tries very hard to keep everyone corralled on the Lido for too long. I’ve had to use smoke and mirrors to get past them to get the elevator up to the Ocean Bar on more than one occasion. Luckily, I keep those in my purse for just such an occasion.

 

Lounge entertainment - We didn’t go to any of the formal shows but all of the lounge entertainment and the live Motown group entertainment in the disco seemed much more polished than on HAL. I was in the piano bar on a dam ship once where they apparently thought Margaritaville was a dirge. “Waaaaastin……aaawaaaaaay…….agaaaaaiiiin……”

 

Coffee – HAL’s coffee (except in the dining room) seems to be made by someone with a religious objection to caffeine.

 

Life Jackets/Muster Drill – Smaller, cleaner life jackets and you don’t have to ever put them on. Just report to your (indoor) station, take a seat and listen to some instructions. Much better than standing out in the blazing sun or freezing cold feeling like the Michelin man in a bulky, often smelly orange straitjacket. Hal always told me how cute I looked; not that I believed him but I’m glad Sean/Cary didn’t have to see me so attired. And let’s face it, if the ship goes down in the middle of the Atlantic, no dinner jacket, black, white or orange, is gonna help. But the whistle will help pass the time.

 

British Pub – I would never miss the dining room for dinner but it was nice to get table service at lunchtime rather than having to brave the buffet.

 

Bendy straws -- Nuff said.

 

All in all, I had a wonderful time and I’m very glad I went. For me, though, it will be a “once in a lifetime” experience. In part, because I could probably do a much longer venture on HAL for the same money but mainly because I really do prefer HAL (I guess those vows are coming back really strong.) There are many reasons for this but the two that have the most sway with me are:

 

(1) The ship itself – I’ve been on the Amsterdam, Zaandam, Ryndam and Statendam. All fairly similar. I love the set up. I love the size. QM2 is much larger but I didn’t have a problem with that. I actually thought that they did not make good use of the layout. HAL ships seem to put all the common areas at the windows. QM2, in my opinion, wasted long, narrow corridors on board game tables and walkways. One lounge, that could have been a great destination, was almost entirely window-free.

 

No outdoor area associated with the buffet. That’s missing out in my opinion.

 

The library, which boasts itself as the “largest library at sea.” also suffered from a lack of windows whereas HAL’s libraries are light, airy and open.

 

The Internet rooms are interior and fairly buried, making them a place you want to get out of quickly. Maybe a good idea considering what the Internet packages cost.

 

(Non-smokers skip to next paragraph – boo, hiss – smokers!) While I am completely in favor of limiting smoking areas (I think HAL’s new Lido deck policy is a good one) I usually would prefer to go outdoors to indulge my habit. QM2 offered outdoor smoking areas on three or four decks, all at the back (aft?) end of the ship. So, if you were on the other end, it wasn’t worth the trek and you ended up smoking indoors.

 

I would think they’d want to encourage people to take it outside. I was in the second cabin from the front and there was a nice little deck right there but even though it was always empty, I couldn’t smoke there so I’d smoke in my cabin and most likely annoy my neighbors. (Alright, not expecting a lot of sympathy on this one, but I’m a smoker who actually wants to limit my effect on nonsmokers and Cunard made it difficult.)

 

(2) The number one, main reason I prefer HAL to Cunard: (drumroll, please…..) On Hal I always get to know the crew. They introduce themselves, usually with a silly play on their names so you remember them. They remember yours. On QM2, we had to ask people their names and there were only two standouts – the junior waiter who quickly realized we could be joked with and a waitress in the British Pub who took very good care of us.

 

The other side of that is we spoke with more passengers than we usually do on HAL. All good, but still, we’re more likely to run into crew again than we are passengers.

 

So, the upshot is, wonderful experience, wouldn’t trade it for the world but I want to come home now, if Hal will take me back.

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richnorto

richnorto

Posted
Posted

Wonderful and incredibly entertaining review! Thank you!:D We are considering a QM2 crossing instead of flying in the next year or two and you make this sound like a plausible possibility! Thank you for all the info as it helps us compare what we know with the ...unknown!:)

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seadrifter

seadrifter

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Great review - so well written and entertaining. If we ever have the opportunity to visit Britain again (and I sincerely hope we do), I would love to try a crossing with Cunard. I think that traveling from Southampton to NY by ship would be a wonderful way to end a vacation.

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