Why ask a question if your mind is made up?

Recently a new member came on this board and the First Time Cruisers board had questions about which ship and planned activities while in port. The questions received several responses and lots of good advice.

The poster decided on the ship that received zero recommendations and also decided that his/her plans for ports were reasonable.

So why seek advice when you have no intention of changing your mind? Perhaps, I'm just venting. But I won't be surprised when the new member is not a happy cruiser.

I don't know what thread you are referring to, but that doesn't really matter. Maybe the poster's mind wasn't really made up, but it is possible that they did research outside of cruise critic.They could have talked with other people or looked at other sites, travel guides..etc..So although no one on HERE gave certain recommendations, they could have easily gotten the confirmation they needed from another source so went with their original plans after all.

I know personally I look at this site along with other places when makig decisions and several plans I have went along with and still have a great time werent something I got from this site.

Cruise critic is great, but it only makes up a handful of the cruise population and there are other sources out there when looking for ideas or other information.

I don't know what thread you are referring to, but that doesn't really matter. Maybe the poster's mind wasn't really made up, but it is possible that they did research outside of cruise critic.They could have talked with other people or looked at other sites, travel guides..etc..So although no one on HERE gave certain recommendations, they could have easily gotten the confirmation they needed from another source so went with their original plans after all.

 

I know personally I look at this site along with other places when makig decisions and several plans I have went along with and still have a great time werent something I got from this site.

 

Cruise critic is great, but it only makes up a handful of the cruise population and there are other sources out there when looking for ideas or other information.

Good answer!

Recently a new member came on this board and the First Time Cruisers board had questions about which ship and planned activities while in port. The questions received several responses and lots of good advice.

 

The poster decided on the ship that received zero recommendations and also decided that his/her plans for ports were reasonable.

 

So why seek advice when you have no intention of changing your mind? Perhaps, I'm just venting. But I won't be surprised when the new member is not a happy cruiser.

My guess is their mind wasn't made up when they wrote the original post. After input from areas outside of CC, maybe spouse or other family, other websites, or even other forums within CC, they decided to go another way.

Just in the past few days, I thought I had a 2 week caribbean cruise planned, ports and excursion researched, ship and cabin selected, and ready to book. I had asked a ton of questions on various CC boards. And just when I was ready to book, DH sheepishly admitted he didn't really want to go to the Caribbean. He wants to do either Alaska or New England/Canada. So in a matter of 5 minutes, my plans changed, and all my previous plans were scrapped.

My question would be why do you care so much that someone on CC didn't take your advice?

I had a teacher who told me that my problem was that I had a "don't confuse me with the facts - my mind is made up" attitude. We get a lot of these types on CC.

DON

I'm one of those that will do a lot of research and think my mind is made up only for others to show me new things to consider and then I change my mind. Ohhhh, that looks like exactly what I would love to do. Ok, mind made up. Months later...wait, that looks even better...changing plans. Ok, I'm done. Wait, where is that place and what all do they have there? Psshhh, scrap that, I'm going back to my original plan. Or am I? LOL This has been me for the last few months on my upcoming cruise and for the port of Cozumel. So many places to chose from, so little time in port. :D

But the way I look at it is...even though the OP might have ask the question, and didn't take the advice, I can guarantee that those that posted with things to do have somehow influenced others that have read that thread to at least check in to their ideas. Some might have even booked it but yet never posted that they took their advice.

When I respond to a question/thread, I respond to the OP's original question, but I'm posting to give information to all that may read it and it might be helpful to. So it really doesn't matter if the OP takes the advice or not...someone else might. :)

I came on these boards a year ago asking advise on Alaskan Cruises. DH's DBs wanted us to do research on them for their 30th anniversaries and our 25th. I personally don't care to do Alaska until after we retire but I went ahead and did all the research (including my questions on here) and came up with a summary sheet of our best options for DH to give to them. They never responded to it so 4 months later, I booked a cruise out of New Orleans for just DH and myself. Plans change. People in the looking stage are doing just that, looking. Planning a vacation is a personal decision, and while seeking input is a great way to get research, I would never rely solely on what other CC members say as the absolutely right answer for us. You shouldn't take their decision as a personal affront to you....It is a personal decision for them to make based on their wants, not yours.

I think the points that poster had already made up their mind and was gathering info is correct and plans do change. I guess I found it interesting that the poster stuck to his/her original plan. I was not truly annoyed. More in the venting mode because I won't be surprised when things don't go well for this first time cruising family.

So lesson learned for me, give as much help as you can when possible and leave it at that.

Thanks!

Why not?

Put a nickle on the counter and tell the guy what kind of candy you want.

I think the points that poster had already made up their mind and was gathering info is correct and plans do change. I guess I found it interesting that the poster stuck to his/her original plan. I was not truly annoyed. More in the venting mode because I won't be surprised when things don't go well for this first time cruising family.

 

So lesson learned for me, give as much help as you can when possible and leave it at that.

 

Thanks!

Some people have to learn the hard way.

You never know who else you helped though. There are a lot of members on here that read and read and read, but rarely ever post. I'm sure there are a lot of lurkers too who never registered on CC, but still read. That's why CC is such a wealth or info. You can learn as much from old threads as you can active threads. I'm sure your posts will help someone.

I had a teacher who told me that my problem was that I had a "don't confuse me with the facts - my mind is made up" attitude. We get a lot of these types on CC.

 

DON

And also plenty of "ready, fire, aim" responders. ;)

This goes along with the OP and happens ALL THE TIME on the cruise air board.

"How much is it to get from JFK to my cruise?" Then you find out the cruise is out of Bayonne, the air tickets have already been purchased and no one realizes that you are crossing state lines, NYC taxis DO NOT have to take you to the cruise terminal at all and can charge whatever they want and it will most likely cost $125 or more each way for private transport. Even the cruise line transport is very often $65pp each way. Then they get upset because they only saved $30 per ticket on the air when they could have flown right into EWR and gotten to the port for $10-15pp.

"I bought cruise line issued tickets and they GUARANTEE I will make the ship". Then the reality and the fine print in cruise contracts is pointed out and the arguments begin.

"What did you pay for airfare to XXX?" Doesn't matter what someone else paid as they are generally going on a different day, different time of year and most likely from a different airport.

And my favorite (or something similar which gets asked ALL the time)-"Can I make a 9:30 flight from JFK after my cruise arrives in Manhattan"? Then you find out the tickets have already been purchased and the chances of making the flight are very, very slim.

All the advice in the world cannot help people who are destined to do it their own way and very often pay a LOT for doing it their own way.

Maybe they were trying to win a bet with their spouse ;)

Like, "See, I told you your idea was stupid. Everyone on cc agrees with me." :P

Or in the case referred to above, nobody agreed with her so she said her mind was made up and went about her way. :D

I understand people changing their mind along the way or vascillating back and forth and endinding up with their original plan. It's the ones who come here asking advice and never waver from their original plan no matter how many say it's just not going to work.

There was a thread a few weeks ago asking the the old, "will I make my flight" question. Most everyone said no with a few saying maybe with lots of praying and everything going perfectly, with jupiter being aligned with mars and none of the very real chinks in his plan.

He came back time and time again saying how he was sure it was going to work no matter what. He never wavered once on his original plan. Seems like he was hoping that people would tell him he would be just fine.

Said he would come back and report but some think he will not, or else will just say everything worked, even though it may not have.;):)

There was a thread a few weeks ago asking the the old, "will I make my flight" question. Most everyone said no with a few saying maybe with lots of praying and everything going perfectly, with jupiter being aligned with mars and none of the very real chinks in his plan.

 

He came back time and time again saying how he was sure it was going to work no matter what. He never wavered once on his original plan. Seems like he was hoping that people would tell him he would be just fine.

 

Said he would come back and report but some think he will not, or else will just say everything worked, even though it may not have.;):)

I remember him, 5 people and he was going to have kids running through the airport blah blah blah. He was adventurous and that was that. So, why did he ask? He had absolutely no plans to make any change.

sometimes people just want confirmation from the board on the choice they've already made. Sometimes they get confirmation, sometimes they dont.

My guess is their mind wasn't made up when they wrote the original post. After input from areas outside of CC, maybe spouse or other family, other websites, or even other forums within CC, they decided to go another way.

 

Just in the past few days, I thought I had a 2 week caribbean cruise planned, ports and excursion researched, ship and cabin selected, and ready to book. I had asked a ton of questions on various CC boards. And just when I was ready to book, DH sheepishly admitted he didn't really want to go to the Caribbean. He wants to do either Alaska or New England/Canada. So in a matter of 5 minutes, my plans changed, and all my previous plans were scrapped.

 

My question would be why do you care so much that someone on CC didn't take your advice?

This!

Just because they didn't agree with you and change their plans doesn't mean they didn't have honest intentions with the question. It doesn't mean they'll have a terrible cruise either.

sometimes people just want confirmation from the board on the choice they've already made. Sometimes they get confirmation, sometimes they dont.

Sounds like the newbee last week with the "free cruise certificate" who was about to send her deposit to an incentives outfit and asked for our experiences in doing the same. Every single response told her these outfits are scams and at best one will end up paying more in total costs than booking on one's own. Her last response sounded like we had got it all wrong and she would go ahead. Well, it's her time and money to spend as she wishes. But this was another case where somebody had made up their mind but sought affirmation that this was all legitimate.

The best person to answer this question is the original poster.

Keith

Sounds like the newbee last week with the "free cruise certificate" who was about to send her deposit to an incentives outfit and asked for our experiences in doing the same. Every single response told her these outfits are scams and at best one will end up paying more in total costs than booking on one's own. Her last response sounded like we had got it all wrong and she would go ahead. Well, it's her time and money to spend as she wishes. But this was another case where somebody had made up their mind but sought affirmation that this was all legitimate.

There's been at least a couple of these just about every year. I guess they don't believe that there are scams or a timeshare presentation (which I know my husband will rather go to the dentist than sit through). It just amazes me that several people will advise them to just toss the card (as I always do when I get one of these).

Sometimes someone will get the same sort of advice or answers from several and still insist that we're all wrong. I remember a year or two on the destinations board for the west coast when a guy asked if one of the locals was willing to pick up him and his son from LAX and take them to the port (they were flying in the day of the cruise, which was something he insisted on doing, despite our suggestions he rethink THAT).

When many (after several requests on his part) suggested he take a shuttle or taxi, he got huffy. We were mean or inconsiderate. Even when the many reasons why he was getting refusals were listed (insurance, the hassle of driving to LAX if one didn't live right there, the risks for him if the person agreeing was a psycho, the list goes on), he got even more huffier. I think he finally convinced someone to pick him up. But come on, when you have several locals telling you that something is not a good idea, it's not because we're nasty, but because he is being unrealistic.

Sounds like the newbee last week with the "free cruise certificate" who was about to send her deposit to an incentives outfit and asked for our experiences in doing the same. Every single response told her these outfits are scams and at best one will end up paying more in total costs than booking on one's own. Her last response sounded like we had got it all wrong and she would go ahead. Well, it's her time and money to spend as she wishes. But this was another case where somebody had made up their mind but sought affirmation that this was all legitimate.

OMG! I got the call today! I won a free cruise and I just had to answer a few questions. WOOHOO! I was so excited I hung up the phone :mad:. Now I'll never be able to collect. Well, okay, this is the third time they've called to tell me I won.