Rule for traveling with older parents

My wife and I booked a getaway cruise. My parents just booked the same cruise. We were looking forward to our dinners for two and some alone time away from work and home. Now we have cruising buddies. What suggestions to have a good cruise and keep the peace?

When we travel in groups we have one rule, we meet for dinner. Since you want dinners alone (more guaranteed with ATD than fixed) maybe meet up for breakfast in the MDR. Or you and your spouse have your 'alone-time' meal at breakfast/brunch.

Everyone does their own thing during the day and evening.

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Best of luck to you both. I know this sounds kind of mean but maybe you two do activities that they don't like to do. This would give you time together. How about anytime dining that way you could say you are not ready to eat when they are and then you two can go earlier or later than they are going. At least with anytime dining you can have some dinners with them and some alone. OR just hang with the parents and enjoy every minute with them as life really is short. Plan another cruise and don't tell anyone you are going until the last minute(if this is possible).

My wife and I booked a getaway cruise. My parents just booked the same cruise. We were looking forward to our dinners for two and some alone time away from work and home. Now we have cruising buddies. What suggestions to have a good cruise and keep the peace?

We're in our mid 70s and our kids are late 40s or early 50s.

We'd definitely be doing different activities but would meet for dinner.

However, I expect they'd eat at Lido while we ate earlier at MDR.

We usually cruise as a couple.

Last fall we cruised with my sis and bro in law for the first time but we had invited them with us which sounds different than your situation.

We didn't mind eating with them for dinner.

Perhaps you could discuss and plan a special night or 2 for yourselves and then other nights with them.

Otherwise on sea days we did not plan time together.

We just happened to see them as we were all on the ship doing our own thing.

We planned 2 port excursions together and then on the 3rd everyone did their own thing.

I think that you and your parents will have to figure this out together as there is no one "rule" for how to handle this.

We brought my in-laws on a three cruises, most went without a problem. After our first we set two "rules", starting with we don't have to do everything together. Dinners may or may not be together, this works well with YTD in the MDR these days and was not a option when we cruised.

Don't worry and have a good time. We all had a great time and love to relax and recharge the batteries.

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Perhaps you could discuss and plan a special night or 2 for yourselves and then other nights with them.

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Good idea!

Get together ahead of time to set ground rules.

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I cruised with my mother a few years back, and she wanted me to back in the room by midnight! I was well over 50 at the time. Needless to say, I did not comply with that request:D

The thing is with elderly parents, we never know just how much longer they will be with us. So maybe you will actually make some great memories on this cruise. I wish you the best.

Have your parents said they wanted to spend the majority of their time with you, or are you assuming that they want to spend the majority of their time with you. As parents of adult children we certainly don't want to spend the majority of our times with our grown children. We raised them and now we enjoy our time together as a couple. Why would adult parents need "rules" when traveling with you? Maybe an adult conversation would be more appropriate about what you both desire rather than coming up with "rules" for your mature parents.

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Back when our older aunt & uncle were still able to cruise, they would book the same cruise just so someone from the family would be on the ship if they had a problem.

Except for having dinner with them, they did their thing and we did ours.

It was a happy arrangement that worked well for all. :)

My wife and I booked a getaway cruise. My parents just booked the same cruise. We were looking forward to our dinners for two and some alone time away from work and home. Now we have cruising buddies. What suggestions to have a good cruise and keep the peace?

My advice? Go, have a good time, enjoy spending vacation time with your parents. There will come a time (hopefully a long time from now) when you'll wish you could spend time with your parents, but you won't be able to.

My parents have cruised with me for the last 9 years or so. We've had some amazing times together. Sadly, I lost my father 3 years ago, and my mother in Feb. this year. I'm going on my first cruise without either of them in October. I wish they were here to go with me.

I know that's not what you wanted to hear, but it comes from my heart. Enjoy the cruise with your parents.

I agree to take it as a gift. I totally get that you want to have alone time but you can have the best of both worlds.

We took 2 cruises with my in-laws before my FIL passed away. We chose one port day that each couple did their own thing and we did have dinner together every night although we planned on booking ourselves the steakhouse we didn't end up feeling like we wanted to. We had lots of time alone in the morning enjoying our beautiful balcony, and we spent time apart on the sea days so all in all it was really great without too much togetherness.

I would contact your favorite parent and just ask them what they are expecting from the cruise and from y'all. You are making an assumption before you get the facts.

I sure wish my mom and dad were still here to cruise. I miss them terribly.

As an elderly, ahem🙄, couple (66 & 75) who have taken land and cruise vacations with adult children and grandchildren, I'll weigh in. Unless your parents are clingy or have indicated they intend to spend every waking second with you, I can't believe this is a problem.

Whenever we travel with ANYONE--relatives or friends, we have a frank discussion of how we envision the vacation to unfold. We make it a fun meeting and ask each person for input. If you do this, you can state that you want to have a romantic dinner or two with just your wife and perhaps spend a day in port on your own. Mom and Dad are put on notice that they'll be on their own then. That way there's no hurt feelings and no "rules".

Good luck and enjoy the opportunity.

Hi there

I agree that you should somehow be able to enjoy the fact that you still have parents who you can cruise, and spend time with.

If you do feel it just imposes too much on your alone time, just have a word with them before you leave and tell them what you think. Maybe they don't want to have dinner with you either.

have a great cruise

Definitely set the 'ground rules" before you get on the ship! Plan some dinners with the group, but let them know you will be "going your own way" for this or that....let them know, so things don't get weird on the ship! And just remember...dinner is only 2 hours or less....you will have PLENTY of "alone" time!

Our first multigenerational cruise was for my mother's 60th birthday. We chose this cruise since a land tour of Germany would actually have required a lot more time together. On a cruise ship, it is large enough and there are enough activities that everyone can do exactly what they want and be happy on vacation.

Here's what we did on subsequent cruises: we meet together ahead of time with a list of cruise ship excursions. I generally plan private tours that duplicate the cruise ship excursions, and if the parents don't want to come on the private tours that I like they simply choose any ship excursion they are interested in, and they go on their own.

On the ship, there are a million activities for older people that my parents really enjoyed - bingo, trivia contests, even the hula hoop contest (that one of the grandmas won!). They were happy, we still got some privacy some of the time and it all worked out well. We were traveling with a toddler, so we may have had different expectations than you for our vacation. I hope you have a great time!

Have everyone who is traveling sit down and discuss the cruise. Ask each person the question:

"What would you like to do or have happen on this cruise that would make you really happy?"

This invites them and yourselves to specify some stuff. For example maybe your parents are really looking forward to a specific excursion for the whole family. While you and your partner are really looking forward to some romantic dinners for two.

Now you have a place to start your discussions. Everything is out in the open and you can all work together to make a plan that will (hopefully) make everyone happy.

If one of your parents really wants to have dinners all together discuss that. Maybe you can split the nights. Half of the dinners with the family and half privately.

If you'd like to go see the shows with just your partner, tell them that. Or you'd like to spend your sea day mornings by the pool tell them that too.

Don't make it about rules. Make the conversation about what everyone who is traveling needs/wants to make the cruise a success for them individually.

Heck maybe your Dad wants to spend a couple hours in the library reading a book, but he's always gone to the shows instead out of obligation! Won't know until you ask.

However you handle it have a great time!