"Braving", "Pathetic", "Lonely" solo trips

[ssgirl54]

Well, answer the question "You came by yourself?" with a question: "Did you know that in the United States of America woman are allowed to travel without a male escort?" :D

I love it...........yes we have evolved now we are allowed to travel alone...........a right of passage whether you are single or not or even thinking about being single............I have been to resorts solo and single and had the time of my life............the cruise thing is new to me.........I could have brough someone, but why............we make it what we do........fun or quiet........if being alone on a ship with 3000 people is alone, or even brave..........I say you are brave if you want and also alone if you want............I will be there alone with 3000 and again having the time of my life:)

[ssgirl54]

One thing for my fellow female solo travelers: don't be afraid to hoof it alone in the ports. Just look confident and make it look like you know where you are going, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW. I've done Rome, Florence, Paris, Vancouver, Victoria, San Francisco, New York City, all on my own. I never once felt out of place or in need of companionship. For me, one of my biggest pleasure is to just start walking in a city. If I miss a big tourist sight, no biggie. In Rome, I never saw the Colosseum, but I ran in to some really cool neighborhoods there I plopped down on a chair, ordered a glass of wine and just watched the locals go by. I've taken trains all over Europe, and driven around Italy. What's so hard about it that a woman would need someone to help with it???

 

Ever wonder why male solo travelers aren't called brave??? ;)

I agree, I have been all over the world, just not on a cruise ship.....I have never even had a problem with the languages, I have found that in almost every country english is spoken, many countries it is the 2nd language, and sitting with a glass of wine ..universal.......my favorite thing to do is sit in a sidewalk cafe drinking coffee or wine and watch the world go by, you learn so much and it is so peaceful............It you were sharing the sidewalk cafe with another you would be missing the world travel by........you would be talking.........I find sometimes alone/solo is the best you get to do what you want to do.....when you want.....

[Faith77]

The "you are so brave" comments--the first time I heard them was when I did a 50+ tour to Seattle, Victoria, and the San Juan Islands. My biggest challenge was getting the shuttle bus to the hotel from the Seattle airport.

 

What I used to say to people on my tours and cruises--I'm not travelling in Africa or India solo. A tour/Cruise is so easy--all I have to do is show up. Now I just say how easy it is to travel this way as a solo with a smile on my face. And I don't think of myself as an independent traveller. But as time goes on I'm getting better. Now I sometimes add on a few days to a tour/cruise or/and do some ports I'm somehwat familiar with on my own. My thinking is that its a great skill to develop to travel on ones own. Faith

[Chicken_Lips]

I'm a 34 y/o guy and I miss travelling alone, I totally envy you guys! Throughout my 20s I backpacked and explored Europe on my own and had a blast. I always had the opportunity to see every museum and every interesting site that I wanted to see.

 

Now that I'm in my 30s, I've had to always travel with somebody else and it totally sucks. We're always bickering about what to see, when and what to eat, etc. I seriously think I miss out on over half the sights I used to see when I travelled alone. I also don't get the opportunity to always meet new people wherever I am. When you travel single, you are forced to interact with others out of fun and necessity. You will try new experiences that you would never consider doing back home. When you travel with others, it's often hard to strike up conversations with strangers or to seek out new adventures because you are busy being preoccupied with your travel companion. Yuck! :(

 

I haven't considered a cruise by myself yet. You give me hope! :)

[Lois R]

I'm a 34 y/o guy and I miss travelling alone, I totally envy you guys! Throughout my 20s I backpacked and explored Europe on my own and had a blast. I always had the opportunity to see every museum and every interesting site that I wanted to see.

 

Now that I'm in my 30s, I've had to always travel with somebody else and it totally sucks. We're always bickering about what to see, when and what to eat, etc. I seriously think I miss out on over half the sights I used to see when I travelled alone. I also don't get the opportunity to always meet new people wherever I am. When you travel single, you are forced to interact with others out of fun and necessity. You will try new experiences that you would never consider doing back home. When you travel with others, it's often hard to strike up conversations with strangers or to seek out new adventures because you are busy being preoccupied with your travel companion. Yuck! :(

 

I haven't considered a cruise by myself yet. You give me hope! :)

 

Hi, your name and Avator are really cute:D

 

You said you while in your 30s you "have to travel with someone

else":confused:....why? Especially when you also say "it sucks"......just

wondering why you continue to do it?

 

When you travel solo, you are not forced to do anything you don't

want to do....if you want to interact with others, you can, and if

you want time to yourself....it is there.

[SantaAna,CA]

Great thread. I've been single most of my life so I've traveled alone most of my life. I've heard it all too...why are you traveling alone...don't you have anyone to travel with.....aren't you scared being alone.... I have to tell you, these questions were asked 99% of the time by other women. I don't know why it is, but some women seem to be skeptical (and sometimes downright suspicious) of solo women travelers. Maybe I need to say this when I first meet them: "you know.....I'm really not interested in your husband, what I'm lookin' for is peace and quiet"! :p

 

How many times, by the way, have we seen couples arguing on vacation? Yeah, that looks like fun. Another reason to travel alone.

 

And for the person who wondered about formal night, if you love to dress up, please do it! Cruises are the opportunity for me to wear all my favorite dresses, including my formal gowns. It's okay if others don't or if they stare at you. I have always felt appreciated when I dress up, even if others choose not to. It's part of the fun!

 

Jane

[travelgip]

Great thread. I've been single most of my life so I've traveled alone most of my life. I've heard it all too...why are you traveling alone...don't you have anyone to travel with.....aren't you scared being alone.... I have to tell you, these questions were asked 99% of the time by other women. I don't know why it is, but some women seem to be skeptical (and sometimes downright suspicious) of solo women travelers. Maybe I need to say this when I first meet them: "you know.....I'm really not interested in your husband, what I'm lookin' for is peace and quiet"! :p

 

How many times, by the way, have we seen couples arguing on vacation? Yeah, that looks like fun. Another reason to travel alone.

 

And for the person who wondered about formal night, if you love to dress up, please do it! Cruises are the opportunity for me to wear all my favorite dresses, including my formal gowns. It's okay if others don't or if they stare at you. I have always felt appreciated when I dress up, even if others choose not to. It's part of the fun!

 

Jane

 

I do know what you mean about married woman thinking you are interested in their husbands (as if!) I have a very simple reply for them:

"I didn't want my own husband, I certainly don't want someone elses' (yours!)" My other favorite is: "No one wants a dog that's already been kicked". This gets a great response from the husbands and shuts the wife up completely! :D

[celle]

Part of it is also generational, I think. Let's be honest. The cruise demographic usually skews towards older people. Women in their 70's were raised in a time where women didn't travel alone, though they recognize young women now are different and can be well traveled. It is is a natural reaction for them to call the younger women brave, perhaps because they have different outlooks if a partner has passed on which has forced them to go solo for a while. To someone who has been married for the bulk of their life in an era where women didn't always have careers outside the home, it is brave to go it alone.

 

I sometimes receive the "brave" comment from people in my age group when they mean unusual or independent. It isn't politically correct to use these terms, though. Close friends usually ask if I'm traveling solo or with others instead of assuming I'd go with others.

 

Once, a pair of grandfatherly men told my then collage aged best friend and me that we'd be good wives. It was a genuine complement from their point of view and we thanked them for it based on their intention and giggled a bit after they were out of earshot. Compliments are based on perspective and manners in the response :)

 

I'm almost 70 and I was raised to be independent. At 27, I emigrated solo to New Zealand. 6+ weeks on a ship certainly made me realise that it was a long way! But I didn't think I was brave, or unusual. I did come from a family that had always travelled, though, and my mother ingrained in us that Home was not one particular place, but was with the people we loved.

 

My family also emigrated to NZ a few years after I did.

 

Now I've been married 40 years and usually travel with my DH, but I have done several trips by myself. To tell the truth, I would rather travel alone - DH is high-maintenance on plane flights - but I would miss his company once I reached a destination.

 

I would have no qualms about cruising solo and intend to try it one day.

[Lovharvey]

I went on my first solo cruise this past Feb., not knowing what to expect. I had been posting back & forth on a thread and they suggested I join them on their Super Bowl cruise. I wasn't sure I was ready to do something like that, but, took the plunge and had a great time. I totally agree with the freedom to do what you want, when, etc. Even though I have to pay the double price, I have two upcoming cruises with this same group. One of the guys told me I had a new family now and I truly believe him. I'm not sure I want to share a cabin with someone and have to make sure that they are having a good time, etc. Traveling solo was a big adjustment, but, I love, for right now anyway.

[Bookish Angel]

I am considering my first solo cruise aboard Allure in early 2012. I have traveled without my husband for some land-based trips and never had any problems. Hubby and I are best friends but are not joined at the hip. Also, I like cruising more than he does so I am prepared to enjoy a wonderful time without him and telling him all about it when I get home.

[Lois R]

I'm almost 70 and I was raised to be independent. At 27, I emigrated solo to New Zealand. 6+ weeks on a ship certainly made me realise that it was a long way! But I didn't think I was brave, or unusual. I did come from a family that had always travelled, though, and my mother ingrained in us that Home was not one particular place, but was with the people we loved.

 

My family also emigrated to NZ a few years after I did.

 

Now I've been married 40 years and usually travel with my DH, but I have done several trips by myself. To tell the truth, I would rather travel alone - DH is high-maintenance on plane flights - but I would miss his company once I reached a destination.

 

I would have no qualms about cruising solo and intend to try it one day.

 

Celle, you sound like a fascinating person and I mean that in the

highest form of a compliment:). I would love to chat with you

in person as well. Maybe one day we will meet on a cruise.:)

[gebo]

Women feel threatended because of a solo womans' freedom (read available)

Men feel threatened because of a solo womans' freedom (read I don't need a man (you) to do this).:rolleyes:

 

Woman: I could take your man.

Man: I could tempt your woman to choose freedom

[gebo]

OK, that was a wierd post and I haven't even had a glass of wine; just a hard day.;)

[DizzyDallasDi]

My grandmother (born in 1891 :eek:) traveled solo all over the world. I wonder if people thought she was brave, pathetic or lonely? If they did, they were dead wrong! She had the time of her life going and seeing and doing. She loved traveling and did it with a passion. My mother (born in 1922) traveled solo all over the world, too. Her passport always needed extra pages added before it expired. :)

 

I guess I was lucky to be born into a family of women who had a passion to see the world and doing it alone was of no concern to them. It is a lifestyle that seems very normal and natural to me....and I have inherited their travel gene. :D

 

Traveling solo is a fantastic adventure that I love. However, I can understand that some of you are timid and hesitant about trying it for the first time. The only advise I can offer is to try it and decide for yourself if it works for you. Cruising is a great way to try on your "solo travel legs." I wish you all happy travels and calm seas. :D

[cruisemom42]

What a great thread -- I have really enjoyed reading all the responses!

 

I have to admit that I've never quite realized why there is so much hullabaloo over cruising solo. I've traveled solo to many places for business and pleasure, and cruises are one of the places where you are least apt to feel "alone". Folks are friendly and, at least so far, I've never gotten a lot of those "poor brave soul" types of comments or looks from others. Perhaps because it's so obvious I'm enjoying myself. :D

 

I also have to admit that, like the previous poster, I'm lucky to have had a role model in my grandmother, who thought nothing of leaving her husband behind for the summer and heading to Europe on her own for a month or so in the summer -- traveling on her own via Eurail passes, staying wherever she liked (not in posh circumstances either, usually in places where the bathroom was down the hall).

 

I enjoy my solo travels immensely. I have a very specific nerdy interest in ancient history and have found it's so much easier on my own to visit countless dusty museums, ruins, and remote sites than to drag someone with me (or worse, forego the pleasure of going because "someone else" wasn't interested....)

 

I'm in my late 40s now, and the more I travel, the braver I get. I've been to many places on my own and have done many more on my own as ports from cruise ships. I now think little of using public transportation, hailing a cab, ordering food (or more importantly wine), or checking into a hotel in just about any safe country.

 

For all my fellow travelers who might be interested, I have also lately read a lot of biographies or autobiographies on solo women travelers of the past (and present) that go beyond the popular Frances Mayes books or "Eat, Pray, Love". Maybe some of you would also be interested, so I'll share a few favorites:

 

Gertrude Bell (a female contemporary of and mentor to Lawrence of Arabia): http://www.amazon.com/Desert-Queen-Extraordinary-Gertrude-Adventurer/dp/1400096197/ref=sr_1_2?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314745204&sr=1-2

 

Freya Stark (adventurous traveler of the Middle East): http://www.amazon.com/Passionate-Nomad-Modern-Library-Paperbacks/dp/0375757465/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314745204&sr=1-3

 

Rosemary Mahoney (traveled down the Nile alone in a small boat): http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/125749.Down_the_Nile

 

Alice Steinbach (short stories from a journalist who decided to travel solo and further her education in a number of different classes around the world): http://www.amazon.com/Without-Reservations-Travels-Independent-Woman/dp/0375758453/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1314745845&sr=1-1

[gebo]

Thanks Cynthia, I'll check out my local library!

[don'tleavewithoutme]

I've done one solo cruise and enjoyed it so much I've booked another.

 

Cruising with a bff or sister is fine, but solo is so liberating. Cruising with DH is rather a bore other than having someone to tote luggage that I don't want to deal with myself. He IS helpful that way.

 

I love being able to dine when/where I want, do the excursions I care to, and it's much easier to have enjoyable conversations with fellow passengers if you are traveling solo.

 

I'm nearing retirement age, and get more eager to go solo all the time. Brave? Doesn't have anything to do with it. Pathetic? hardly. Lonely? I'm not afraid of my own company, and see solitude when I choose it as a blessing.

[travlinbug]

My husband does not care to travel. People have asked why I don't "make him go"? LOL! What am I ? The FUN police??You WILL GO and YOU WILL have fun?? Nope! I have cruised solo and also travel in the U.S. and Europe alone. Truthfully,it can be more enjoyable in some ways. I choose my meals,activities,bedtime,etc...without having to consult or negotiate. Life is full of compromise--I enjoy escaping that. I am not brave. Police and firemen and soldiers are brave. I am fortunate. :)

[DizzyDallasDi]

I am not brave. Police and firemen and soldiers are brave. I am fortunate. :)

 

Bravo!! You summed up my feelings exactly. :)

[raylene5]

Hey, don't pity me! I am sooooooo looking forward to my upcoming solo...without the 4 small kids and grumpy husband to fuss over, I am going to be in hog heaven! :)

[JaxieWaxie]

I think the biggest assumption people make about why people cruise solo is that they don't have any romantic attachments or couldn't find anyone to go with them. They assume that we do not travel solo by choice, hence the reasons those words come into play.

 

Truth is, I am married, but my husband hates to cruise and frankly, I prefer to cruise without him. He's a bit of a wet blanket when he's on board. And, since I come from a huge family and am always being pulled here, there, and everywhere by family events and drama, I like to just unplug from my life for a while and have the alone time.

 

I have no problem sitting in a restaurant and eating alone or going shopping alone or on excursions alone. As a photography hobbyist, I revel in the freedom to do everything at my own pace -- including waiting 20 minutes for the sun to shift in the sky for a photo with the perfect light. When I travel with people, I have to be too accommodating on that sort of stuff.

 

More often than not, when I meet people in the first few days and mention I'm solo, they have that "poor you" look. After a few days on the ship constantly negotiating meal times, activities, etc. with their significant other, the look they give me becomes "I'm so jealous!"

 

I have four more solo trips planned, including a transatlantic next August. Cannot wait!!!

[haikou]

I don't have a problem with traveling single.if anything I feel sorry for people who feel they are worthless without a spouse/life partner or who do not enjoy doing things on their own.I am not waiting around fo rMr Right or a friend with the time and means to travel...or I would never go anywhere!I go on a luxury line that is very single/solo friendly in terms of low single suppplement fees as well aoverall valuing singles/solos business.I request a table of singles/solos for dining,as this line tg has fixed meal times and now limited dining when you please. I am free to do what I want when I want to and those few people who dont understand why one travels alone, imho are just jealous!

[215girl]

I don't have a problem with traveling single.if anything I feel sorry for people who feel they are worthless without a spouse/life partner or who do not enjoy doing things on their own.I am not waiting around fo rMr Right or a friend with the time and means to travel...or I would never go anywhere!I go on a luxury line that is very single/solo friendly in terms of low single suppplement fees as well aoverall valuing singles/solos business.I request a table of singles/solos for dining,as this line tg has fixed meal times and now limited dining when you please. I am free to do what I want when I want to and those few people who dont understand why one travels alone, imho are just jealous!

 

 

I took my first solo cruise last week and you know what scared me the most? The fact that I LOVE TRAVELING SOLO. I am so looking forward to my next solo cruise in fact I think,...nope I know for a fact that I now want to travel solo on my cruises. I cannot tell you the freedom I felt doing what I wanted to do. The only one time I felt alone was at the main dining table ONLY because everyone else was coupled up but other than that I was fine, next time I will ask for single tables. What else? I am in my late 30's and love to travel however my bff and my cousin who I travel with are currently unemployed and I am not dating anyone that serious where I would travel with them so what am I suppose to do wait? Ha I think not. If anyone on here is on the fence about traveling alone go for it im telling you, you will enjoy it.

[ssgirl54]

Why on earth does someone think it is "brave" to do a solo trip? Or, for that matter, why is a solo traveler "Lonely" or "pathetic"? Could it be incredibly low self-esteem from the first-timer? I just wonder because I can't think of anyone I would want to come and ruin the freedom this type of vacation offers. Please know that this is meant somewhat tongue-in-cheek, but just wondering what other solo's think about these lables. :rolleyes:

 

I am a first time cruiser in November and I am not brave.....just did not want to take someone with me. I am going with a group, but alone.....I will spend time alone reading...relaxing.....I expect to meet new friends...the group I am going with I have never met......so that will be fun...so anyone putting labels on a solo cruiser might forego that because if we go solo it is because we wish to do so.......I think it is stranger to go expecting to meet someone there are many that go time after time thinking at some point the odds are with them and they will meet the love of their lives........... my label is first time cruiser....I am excited.....:):)

[travelnap]

ssgirl54, Good luck on your first solo cruise. I think you will enjoy it. Happy Sailing.