"Braving", "Pathetic", "Lonely" solo trips

[RuthlessBoss]

Hey

 

I'm off on my first solo cruise on Saturday and I feel very brave and I think I am right to feel this way :)!

 

It's the first time I have travelled alone at all and after being part of a relationship for many years the prospect of going solo for the first time is daunting. :eek:

 

I feel proud of myself. I certainly don't feel pathetic though and I very much feel I won't get a chance to be lonely.

 

Some people are confident and these sorts of decisions are easy, we’re not all the same though. This was a big decision for me, I’m not confident and it is a stretch for me, therefore I AM brave and am happy with the label! :D

 

I am looking forward to making all my own choices such as eating as much as I like without anyone telling me not to and staying up for that one last glass that you don’t need but really want!

 

I expect to be a fully converted solo traveler after this trip!;)

We are not all confident souls, I'm not. I went solo after I lost my long time perfect cruisemate (my ex). I'm so glad I needed a cruise fix and went and survived it, though not without some downsides. Have since gone solo on Sensation, met a now part time roomshare person. Went on Dream and we turned out quite compatable and will be going on a share in Dec. on Liberty. Prior to that, I booked solo on Ecstasy from Canaveral SOLO. I booked a cabin with a second bed in case I decided to ask someone to go along, but I'm looking forward to that solo status and all choices being mine. I've come a long way with my independant travel, though it's not perfect yet.

[RuthlessBoss]

yeah when i first posted on here i quickly admitted that pathetic was a bit of a strong word. since then i have really done an about face after reading all of your comments. you people have really made me feel very good about doing it solo. it will still make me nervous though when i step on board all by myself as i havent been alone in a lot of years. especially the way my last cruise ended in feb, 2011 aboard the carnival sensation. but i will never know unless i do it so i am going to this february, 2012.

My first was Sensation, had a soso time, but that was a combination of my introverted self and first solo. My second solo, I talked to myself and deliberately sat down at tables that were already occupied and started chatting with them. Big step for me, but it gave me familiar faces to connect with during the cruise, made for a good transition. In fact, I found a very compatable roomie for longer cruises. For now, it's shorter off season cruises solo due to the supplement.

[Lois R]

Hi:)

 

Lots of good postings and everyone has different insights to the original

question. I agree with travelpeon's take on it in the sense of the era

we live in as opposed to times gone by. Not to say some folks didn't

travel on their own, but years and years ago it would definitely have

been out of the ordinary. I have always been outgoing and shy has

never been part of my personality but even when I was in my 20s

I didn't think of going on a cruise (looking back wish I had though;)).

But I did travel when I was about 20 to Israel on my own and lived

there for 1 year. Now, it was organized through a Federation and stuff

but I did not know a soul when I arrived. Totally different experiences

of course but just to add my own insight. (I am now 53).

 

Now, cruising? For me it is a piece of cake.:D Yes, I have been told

I am brave and some folks say things because I think they just don't

have an answer. They just say things without always thinking first.

(I have done that in my life too). Some might be envious but don't

have a way to fix their own lives (or don't want to). Others? I really

don't think they mean it to offend anyone...its the not thinking part

that comes through to me.

I no longer let it bother me. I say, yes I go solo and I love it. I am

a grown women and have been on my own for many years. If I don't

go on my own? Then I would never go and and that is just not an

option for me. I love cruising too much!

 

Travelpeon, the family who shares the cabin? I do understand it

because sometimes vacations can be pricey or the children are

small or both. I have never thought about what size home they

live in because I probably don't know. But if they are happy

and can afford the cruise that way? Good for them:) I don't

think of it as brave...I never really thought about it.

 

Gebo, I am a loner too so that comes into play for me as well.

I started cruising in 2003 and have 30+ cruises now. All of them but

2 have been solo. I just value my own space too much to give it

up.

 

And for the folks who have been inspired by those of us who already

sailing solo? I hope all of you have wonderful cruises:) and glad the

thread has helped!

 

I am sailing again 4 weeks from TODAY!!!! Yes, solo of course:D

[AM2010]

Hello.

 

I had my first solo cruise this past March and I thought I was brave because I was trying something for the first time that I had never done before and was very nervous. I was never lonely. I spent time reading alot, but also talked to alot of nice people.

 

Most people I met thought it was great that I was doing what I wanted and not letting anything stop me.

 

I am already planning my second solo for NYE next year.

 

I hope those going on their first have a fabulous time.:):)

 

Annmarie

[Thoie]

I've traveled a bit on my own, but when I took my first cruise in 2008 I found it was all Americans who questioned me on my single status.

 

Classics included:

"Where's your husband?"

"I haven't found anyone I'd want to marry yet"

"Don't worry honey, you'll find someone".

 

"Gee, you made it here all the way from Europe? How did you manage the plane?"

"Well, I asked the airline to provide a captain and crew, so I didn't really have to do much"

 

"Are you looking for a husband dear?"

"Not here, have you seen the state of the guys around? Oh, which one's your husband?"

 

After the first comment above, my answers got sarkier and sarkier as the cruise progressed :)

 

On the other hand I met some fabulous people who invited me to parties, excursions and all sorts. The main things I found were to be around (don't lock yourself in your cabin unless you want specific alone time - take a book/MP3 player to a common area), go on excursions, and keep smiling.

 

The only actual bad part about cruising alone is applying suncream to that impossible to reach spot on your back. I'm very pale, and burned to a cinder in one spot on my first day. Thankfully by day 2 I made some friends who used come to my cabin in the morning to help :D

 

Second cruise coming up next month - I can't wait!

[surfsidemary]

I've traveled a bit on my own, but when I took my first cruise in 2008 I found it was all Americans who questioned me on my single status.

 

Classics included:

"Where's your husband?"

"I haven't found anyone I'd want to marry yet"

"Don't worry honey, you'll find someone".

 

"Gee, you made it here all the way from Europe? How did you manage the plane?"

"Well, I asked the airline to provide a captain and crew, so I didn't really have to do much"

 

"Are you looking for a husband dear?"

"Not here, have you seen the state of the guys around? Oh, which one's your husband?"

 

After the first comment above, my answers got sarkier and sarkier as the cruise progressed :)

 

On the other hand I met some fabulous people who invited me to parties, excursions and all sorts. The main things I found were to be around (don't lock yourself in your cabin unless you want specific alone time - take a book/MP3 player to a common area), go on excursions, and keep smiling.

 

The only actual bad part about cruising alone is applying suncream to that impossible to reach spot on your back. I'm very pale, and burned to a cinder in one spot on my first day. Thankfully by day 2 I made some friends who used come to my cabin in the morning to help :D

 

Second cruise coming up next month - I can't wait!

 

I love this post. I think this type of comment comes from women who have never been on their own and is not necessarily related to travel. (I occasionally get "You're going grocery shopping by yourself?!" They haven't learned the skills and resources (other than an ever-present father/husband) to do a lot of things. Once I was no longer married, I found that many things my husband took care of were not really a big deal after I did them once. I never get those comments from military wives - because they have learned how to manage.

 

The only time I wish I had a traveling companion of any sort is when I have a lot of luggage in my possession - those "you stay with the luggage while I......" moments.

[blissful_babe]

Hey

 

I'm off on my first solo cruise on Saturday and I feel very brave and I think I am right to feel this way :)!

 

It's the first time I have travelled alone at all and after being part of a relationship for many years the prospect of going solo for the first time is daunting. :eek:

 

I feel proud of myself. I certainly don't feel pathetic though and I very much feel I won't get a chance to be lonely.

 

Some people are confident and these sorts of decisions are easy, we’re not all the same though. This was a big decision for me, I’m not confident and it is a stretch for me, therefore I AM brave and am happy with the label! :D

 

I am looking forward to making all my own choices such as eating as much as I like without anyone telling me not to and staying up for that one last glass that you don’t need but really want!

 

I expect to be a fully converted solo traveler after this trip!;)

 

 

And you are brave. It is difficult as a single female to move out of our comfort zones and do something totally different and new. I have booked my first solo trip, first cruise, first flight as a single person. Im still a bit shocked that I have done it but also feel really empowered and know that once I have done this trip I will feel confident to do more.

 

So from a females point of view, yes we are brave. ;)

[ivycubs]

Jo:

 

Good for you! Be proud! After you get the first one "under you belt" you will see what we all rave about. Also, hopefully nobody on the boat will hit you with the "pity look" and say "you're all on your own?". If they do then you will know what I mean. ;) Also, I am going in October also!

 

I am so happy to have run accross this thread! Just signed into the board last week when my cruise was finalized. While I travel globally for business alone all the time, this is a bit daunting. Not because of being alone, but because its my 1st cruise and it is overwhelming! I leave in September for the Med (12 day cruise and 3 days pre stay in Barcelona).

 

Im curious, I have a huge debate going on (with myself) on whether or not to skip the formal nights and just try another restaurant. Suggestions?

 

Im in my late 40s and I hope to meet many interesting people - are most friendly to "solo" cruisers?

[Lois R]

I am so happy to have run accross this thread! Just signed into the board last week when my cruise was finalized. While I travel globally for business alone all the time, this is a bit daunting. Not because of being alone, but because its my 1st cruise and it is overwhelming! I leave in September for the Med (12 day cruise and 3 days pre stay in Barcelona).

 

Im curious, I have a huge debate going on (with myself) on whether or not to skip the formal nights and just try another restaurant. Suggestions?

 

Im in my late 40s and I hope to meet many interesting people - are most friendly to "solo" cruisers?

 

I would say 99% are friendly and could care less if you are solo or not:)

There may be a few jerks in there but...there are jerks in life too and cruising is

just a teeeny part of life. Personally, I would say go to the dining

room:D Have you participated in your roll call? It is a really nice way

to meet other folks on your same sailing:).

 

Hope you have a wonderful time:)

[ivycubs]

I would say 99% are friendly and could care less if you are solo or not:)

There may be a few jerks in there but...there are jerks in life too and cruising is

just a teeeny part of life. Personally, I would say go to the dining

room:D Have you participated in your roll call? It is a really nice way

to meet other folks on your same sailing:).

 

Hope you have a wonderful time:)

 

I went to the roll call this weekend and it is very "quiet". 3 couples discussing private tours. I am skeptical of committing to tours with folks I havent met yet :) I love people but would hate to be in a situation where Im stuck with someone I have not had the opportunity to interact with (read possible bickering with spouse etc)!

 

There does not seem to be any Meet and Greets scheduled on board because of the lack of folks on that thread I would guess???

 

Thanks so much for the advice. Thinking about it, this will actually be my first vacation solo in my life, let alone a first cruise. Hmmmm.

 

Kelley

[Lois R]

I went to the roll call this weekend and it is very "quiet". 3 couples discussing private tours. I am skeptical of committing to tours with folks I havent met yet :) I love people but would hate to be in a situation where Im stuck with someone I have not had the opportunity to interact with (read possible bickering with spouse etc)!

 

There does not seem to be any Meet and Greets scheduled on board because of the lack of folks on that thread I would guess???

 

Thanks so much for the advice. Thinking about it, this will actually be my first vacation solo in my life, let alone a first cruise. Hmmmm.

 

Kelley

 

Kelley, you sail Sept 4th? Me too:D I am going to Bermuda!

 

I am surprised your roll call is not busier though because usually

Europe and The Med have lots of folks:eek:....you could go to the

Ports of Call board and see what advice you can receive about

tours. Usually the people on those forums are very friendly:)

Or you could book a tour through the ship. They can be more

money but for your first cruise? It is a good way to meet other

folks:)

[ivycubs]

Kelley, you sail Sept 4th? Me too:D I am going to Bermuda!

 

I am surprised your roll call is not busier though because usually

Europe and The Med have lots of folks:eek:....you could go to the

Ports of Call board and see what advice you can receive about

tours. Usually the people on those forums are very friendly:)

Or you could book a tour through the ship. They can be more

money but for your first cruise? It is a good way to meet other

folks:)

 

I love Bermuda! Have a great time. I have already booked 3 tours through the ship and some spa time for sea day number 1. Your advice has helped quell the nerves and I thank you! I will be celebrating my 47th bday the 2nd night of the cruise. That is what pushed me to book - a little treat for me, from me!

[Lois R]

I love Bermuda! Have a great time. I have already booked 3 tours through the ship and some spa time for sea day number 1. Your advice has helped quell the nerves and I thank you! I will be celebrating my 47th bday the 2nd night of the cruise. That is what pushed me to book - a little treat for me, from me!

 

Oh wonderful:D Happy Birthday and I am betting you will have a great

time:). I am glad to help and although some folks say independent

tours are better, less money, etc....I personally think booking with

the ship is fine. It really depends on the situation and if you are happy

with your choices? Then it makes things a bit more relaxing.:)

You will have to report back to us after returning home to let us

know how things went:)

[ivycubs]

Oh wonderful:D Happy Birthday and I am betting you will have a great

time:). I am glad to help and although some folks say independent

tours are better, less money, etc....I personally think booking with

the ship is fine. It really depends on the situation and if you are happy

with your choices? Then it makes things a bit more relaxing.:)

You will have to report back to us after returning home to let us

know how things went:)

 

I will make a point of reporting back. Again, thanks so much. This thread has done wonders to settle my sneaky little doubts that were starting.....:)

[travelnap]

ivycubs, I would agree with LoisR, most of the people are going to be very friendly, and I will think you will enjoy the trip. Sometimes the roll call starts slow but then builds up closer to departure so I would keep checking on it, and let them know you are out there. As far as the formal nights in your earlier post, that's up to you. I used to bring formal wear along, but the past few cruises I have left it at home and just dine elsewhere. It's more of a personal choice, if you enjoy the formal nights, by all means, bring it along. If it is not a big deal to you or something that you would rather not do, then leave it at home. This is your vacation so you should do what you want to enjoy it. I hope you have a great trip. Enjoy your birthday aboard ship and have some fun. Happy 47th.

[laurae]

I am planning my first solo In Oct on the Mariner TA out of Rome,(going big)! I am so thankful for the rollcalls on this board. I have tours and transportation all lined up ; thanks to some wonderful people.

 

So, use the roll call, make contacts, and Get out there!!!

 

happy planning,

Laura

[slidergirl]

One thing for my fellow female solo travelers: don't be afraid to hoof it alone in the ports. Just look confident and make it look like you know where you are going, EVEN IF YOU DON'T KNOW. I've done Rome, Florence, Paris, Vancouver, Victoria, San Francisco, New York City, all on my own. I never once felt out of place or in need of companionship. For me, one of my biggest pleasure is to just start walking in a city. If I miss a big tourist sight, no biggie. In Rome, I never saw the Colosseum, but I ran in to some really cool neighborhoods there I plopped down on a chair, ordered a glass of wine and just watched the locals go by. I've taken trains all over Europe, and driven around Italy. What's so hard about it that a woman would need someone to help with it???

 

Ever wonder why male solo travelers aren't called brave??? ;)

[lettienets]

...........

There does not seem to be any Meet and Greets scheduled on board because of the lack of folks on that thread I would guess???

 

..........Kelley

When that happenened to me once on an Alaska cruise, a small roll call, I suggested would anybody like to meet for breakfast/coffee in the Lido the first morning, first sea day and that worked.

 

I always request a large table of singles for dinner, late seating (Carnival and Holland America usually put singles and solos together) and usually get placed with a nice group. If I am placed on open seating because of booking late, I go to the maitre d' on boarding day and request late seating with a large table...and it is usually singles, solos, widows, widowers, divorced, sometimes couples or a couple or a set of parents with adult children... I would rather eat with a large group as it becomes like family. I also like to dress up on formal nights and don't want to go to the dining room dressed up and then get seated with a bunch of strangers.

 

I sometimes go to the dining room for breakfast or lunch and ask to be seated with others. You meet a lot of new people that way.

 

Holland America has singles and solo lunches. I don't like when ships offer a singles party at 11 pm, never go to those.

[crzndeb]

Laura,

 

I am also solo on the Mariner in Oct. I don't post much on the Roll Calls. I prefer smaller groups of people and I don't usually get involved in big group things. I tend to get a bit anxious in big groups.

 

I do have friends on this cruise though. A couple from Tennesee, I met in 2008 on another cruise, and my GF and her husband from San Diego. We are renting a flat in Rome for 4 nights before the cruise.

 

I love going solo, because I can choose to hang out with friends or I can be alone. I am basically a loner by nature since my daughters have grown and moved on.

 

In fact, I met Loretta (lettienets) on the Elation Panama Canal Repo in Apr/2010...we will be sailing again when we do the Spirit B2B repo to Australia next year.

 

Sometimes when I sit next to couples and listen to their constant bickering and fighting, I am so glad I am solo...LOL!!

[DebBrown]

Hey

 

I'm off on my first solo cruise on Saturday and I feel very brave and I think I am right to feel this way :)!

 

It's the first time I have travelled alone at all and after being part of a relationship for many years the prospect of going solo for the first time is daunting. :eek:

 

I feel proud of myself. I certainly don't feel pathetic though and I very much feel I won't get a chance to be lonely.

 

Some people are confident and these sorts of decisions are easy, we’re not all the same though. This was a big decision for me, I’m not confident and it is a stretch for me, therefore I AM brave and am happy with the label! :D

 

I am looking forward to making all my own choices such as eating as much as I like without anyone telling me not to and staying up for that one last glass that you don’t need but really want!

 

I expect to be a fully converted solo traveler after this trip!;)

You will love it. You are never alone on a ship full of people. You will get to do what you want, when you want, how you want. I think liberating is the word that describes going solo.

[travelpeon]

Travelpeon, the family who shares the cabin? I do understand it

because sometimes vacations can be pricey or the children are

small or both. I have never thought about what size home they

live in because I probably don't know. But if they are happy

and can afford the cruise that way? Good for them:) I don't

think of it as brave...I never really thought about it.

 

I've traveled with my family. We get along pretty well. But sometimes we need a little alone time or the bickering starts. That's why I think it is brave to put multiple people into what basically amounts to a single bedroom if they don't have a lot of methods to communicate. It is "those" non-solo people I see, sometimes with children running rampant or an exhausted parent doing all the care taking or a bickering couple that makes me happily think about a cruise cabin to myself. Or at least a book and some headphone as a coping mechanism if I'm sharing. I can totally see why some couples book 2 Epic studios! Or a Jr. suite or above, because they really do need the space.

 

If they are happy to vacation together in close proximity, far be it from me to say it is brave. I'd say they're a well functioning family unit and kudo's to them!

[terracool]

Lonely? Pathetic? I don't think those apply. I travel solo for both business and pleasure. The vast majority of the time, I absolutely love being able to do whatever I want whenever I want.

 

I've been to NYC both solo and on a family trip and cruised once - a family cruise to Alaska - and am taking my first solo cruise this fall. In both family trips, I found myself splitting off from the group frequently so I could do things that I wanted to do. While I liked having them around, I also found myself wanting my own space and time. I am happy to travel solo and, as I plan my upcoming cruise, I am appreciative of how I can tailor what I do very narrowly to my exact tastes and desires.

 

In short - it is a very self-indulgent way to travel.

 

 

Brave? You know, I think I might sign up for "brave". I have only traveled abroad once, and that was not solo and it was completely packaged trip to Beijing - everything was managed for us. I set up my upcoming Eastern Med cruise completely on my own, from booking the cruise directly with the line to arranging my own flight with frequent flyer miles. I still need to get a hotel in Rome for the night before embarkation and arrange ground transport.

 

I know I will figure all of this out - I always do - but it has hit me a few times that I am being pretty ambitious to take on a trip to so many places, setting it up and navigating on my own. (Well, not counting the ship's captain and navigator! ;)).

 

I plan to avoid tourist places in at least a few cities and simply walk around and see the people and neighborhoods as much as possible. I don't have any qualms about walking around by myself or learning to use public transportation. I don't think anything of it, but I can see why some people would think it brave for a middle-aged female to travel alone.

[saddixie]

terracool - you are wonderful :) - such a positive attitude!

 

I travel solo next October on the Epic for my 50th Birthday following the breakup of my marriage!!

 

I intend arriving in Barcelona a few days before to do sightseeing (have been to Barcelona before with my sister) board the ship and then after the cruise taking the train to Madrid, then Seville then Malaga and a flight home. (I live in the UK)

 

I am arranging everything myself (not using travel agents!!) and am quite happy about it (I have been teaching myself Spanish for 5 years and can just about make myself understood;)). Researching it is part of the pleasure and major european cities are easy to navigate and their transport systems are so much better than here in the UK (I live in the north)

 

I am quite a positive individual to be honest and am really really looking forward to it - a challenge but I know I will be OK!

 

I am sure that you will have a wonderful time - keep sparkling !!:)

[laurae]

hey crzndeb great to know more singles on our cruise, I am getting more and more excited every day.

 

Hopefully we will run into each other somewhere on that ship.

Sea days in the Solarium?? I love to play cards/card games so will be looing for willing partners.

 

Laura

[slidergirl]

terracool - you'll love your trip!

 

My first solo trip (non-business) was to Rome and Florence back in 2007, right after my divorce. My friends called it my own "Eat, Pray, Love" re-creation :p I was used to doing my own travel arrangements, so setting up the flights and hotels was pretty easy. I did go overboard in the hotels, but I figured this was my "freedom" vacation so I was a tad decadent. I had no set tours or places I had to see in either place - I just aimlessly wandered around. It was so totally pleasant. I found some very cool neighborhoods, some nice non-tourist jewelry and stationary stores. I loved to grab a table outside, order a cafe or a glass of wine and just watch people go by. I'm a sociologist by training, so I love to observe behaviors of people in different settings!! I never felt out of place when I went to dinner alone, either. I was always served well.

 

Now that you know how to plan all your own trip particulars, you will be off and running everywhere you want to go!

Have a fantastic trip!!!