How to help a homesick Child

[wishes count]

My Nana is taking my 13 year old sister on a Cruise in 2 weeks! The problem is that my Mom and I are worried that she will get really homesick while she is away. She has already said that she is really nervous about going on the trip and she asked my mom to buy her Peptobismol because she knows her stomach will hurt.

 

She has never been away from home before, never to sleep away camp, she has stayed overnight at a friends house, but it often ends in the other parent calling late at night saying she is sick and wants to go home.

 

My Nana lives far away so we don't get to see her very often. I think she is most nervous about flying alone. My mom says she gets to go to the gate and wait with her until she boards, but she needs to change planes before she gets to my Nana. My mom assured her that everything will be fine.

 

My mom also said she could call her on her cell phone when they are at port but that it will be very expensive.

 

Does anyone have any ideas of what we can do to prepare her/get her not as nervous? She has never been on a cruise before and even though she knows it will be fun she is still nervous about it. We thought maybe my mom could send an envelope/small gift for her to open each day?

[Chigirlcruzin]

Could you and your mom go too?

 

I like the idea of a note/small gift each day. Maybe it could be something related to the port they will be visiting that day?

 

If they are going to St Thomas or San Juan, there are no issues with cell service or expense in those ports.

 

I don't have much else to add, but good luck!

[bstman]

With my verizon cell plan I can text cheaply while cruising. I can not remember for sure but maybe $.25 per sent text and $.05 for received. I you have verizon it tells you on their web site what the rates are. If she could text a few times a day that may help. There are email plans your Nana can buy and she can send a receive emails if they do that. I like texting better. Hopefully she will stay busy during the day and be tired at night and not have much time to miss home.

[seashinesunshine]

I am sure she will feel better once the trip starts. I was very anxious the first time I left my kids at home, but my homesickness went away quickly.

A note for each day is a good idea. You could leave a few surprises in the notes, like some extra $ for spending in a port or something.

Buy her her own camera so she can feel like she is sharing the vacation with you when she gets home.

Go on You Tube and watch some videos of the ports she is going to.

You could also check out her roll call and see if there are any other kids her age going that she can maybe connect with before hand.

Most of all, don't let your anxiety show to her. If she knows you and your mom are nervous that will make her fell worse.

She is lucky to have the chance to go on a trip like this!

She will have a great time!

[MSRussell]

I remember the pain of being away from home for the first time.

Maybe she can write back home on Carnival.com, and post on the 'Currently OnBoard Forum'. It is free to use, either from the computers on the ship, or, if you bring a laptop, in your room.

Everyone who answers will have to be registered on Carnival.com. Hopefully it will lessen the homesickness, as she will have something to look forward to with messages from home.

Melanie

[momof4boys]

I think one of the most important things you can do for your sister is to empower her by acknowledging that she will be fine and will have fun!!

 

Tell her that she may think about you occassionally, but you KNOW she will make some awesome friends in the teen group!

 

You might role play things she can say to get a conversation started or introduction going with another teen. You could even say something like, "You probably already know this, but one thing you could say to someone new is, "Hey, my name is .......and I really like your......' (complement shirt, shoes, swim suit, etc)"

 

From there she could ask where friend is from, and has she/he cruised before? What does she like to do on excursions? What does she like to do in camp? etc.

 

The key is to get your sister to get the new friend talking about herself.

 

For quiet or anxious teens acting like you expect them to be ok will be important!

 

I think the little gifts might be fun, too....maybe cruise related!!

 

What a sweetheart you are to be so compassionate concerning your sister!! :)

[sjn911]

You are a sweet sister...I have a niece, 12, leaving with her grandparents...my folks..on a cruise the 25th.

 

It is different because they live in the same town and spend time together..and she is the youngest grandchild and has had more practice with this sort of thing..sleeping at their house when her folks had something. We are all knd of different when we are ready for this. My first trip on my own flying was 14 and i was really nervous..my neice gets to fly with her grandparents.

 

One thing you can do is have airline personnel help her with the changing of the planes if you do not have that planned.

 

I also like the idea of a note a day and a few surprises in her suitcase..my mom did that for me when I was younger going to Church camp on a train..she could sneak a surprise in her purse for the plane.

 

People have given good ideas about staying in touch.

 

The best thing you can do is get excited about where she is going and try to talk about the steps you take at the airport and getting on the ship and funny things that may happen on the trip and stuff like that...and ask her to please please remember to tell us about the fun times with your cammera pictures or write it in a little trip journal..that would be a great idea..give her a little blank book to write in... Hope you and your mom can go sometime soon with Nanna..and God Bless...I think she may have a terrific time and get through this kind of nervous time..we all go through it...happy weekend..Sarah

[JerseyGirlJen]

I feel for your sister, I used to be like that too, until I was about 13. Maybe go on the roll call board on here and ask anyone if they have kids around her age that will be on the cruise, and maybe the kids can email each other a little bit before the cruise?

 

The carnival website all has a message board, and I've seen teens post messages along the lines of "Hey, I'm going on the Breeze on July 10th, any other teens around my age gonna be there?".....and quite a few kids write back and forth.

 

Once she makes friends she will be ok ;)

[luvscruising2007]

Don't tell her you will miss her. In stead talk about all of the positive things she will enjoy on her cruise.

When kids go to camp, they don't want parents to call their children because it reminds them of home, and home sickness is worse. And most of the time they won't let the kids call home. (Of course that was before cell phones and text messaging.)

As another poster said, don't show her any doubts her going on this trip. It may be she is so concerned about the flight to Nana's, that she is not able to enjoy the anticipation of the trip.

[wishes count]

Could you and your mom go too? !

 

That would be nice! The two of us are actually going on a cruise in Aug to celebrate me completing my summer internship and spend time together.

 

I remember the pain of being away from home for the first time.

Maybe she can write back home on Carnival.com, and post on the 'Currently OnBoard Forum'. It is free to use, either from the computers on the ship, or, if you bring a laptop, in your room.

Everyone who answers will have to be registered on Carnival.com. Hopefully it will lessen the homesickness, as she will have something to look forward to with messages from home.

Melanie

 

I didn't think of that! So from her laptop she would just click Internet Explorer and the Carnival page will come up automatically?

 

 

One thing you can do is have airline personnel help her with the changing of the planes if you do not have that planned.

 

My mom paid extra for unaccompanied minor, so they will take her from one gate to the next when she has to change planes. :)

[Ascott318]

Once she gets on the ship there is so much for her to do , she won't have time to be homesick. :)

[D4]

It's refreshing to hear about a 13 year old that isn't trying to grow up too fast.

 

You might also give her some basic information about staying safe (without scaring her) such as not going in people's rooms. If she gets a coke card, she should always get a fresh one if she leaves her drink unattended for any amount of time.

[MSRussell]

I didn't think of that! So from her laptop she would just click Internet Explorer and the Carnival page will come up automatically?

 

The window for buying internet minutes will come up first. What I did, was bookmark the Carnival Forums site, then clicked on that, it brought me right to it, without having to go through other Carnival pages.

Melanie

[ccruisequeen]

Suggest that she join Camp Carnival's Teen Program (maybe Nana can introduce her to the counselor)- she'll hang around with lots of kids her age from all over the country.

 

There are so many activities, from karaoke to arts & crafts, that she shouldn't be bored. Send her on a camera scavenger hunt to take photos around the ship.

[donaldsc]

At 13, she needs to get away from home a bit and grow up. The fact that she can't even spend the night at a friend's house is a bit absurd.

 

Regardless of how it turns out, there are a few things that you must do before she leaves. You need to have a notarized form that lets her nana take her with her. The form also must give her permission to have medical work done on her if necessary without asking you first. Nana must also have a copies of any medical insurance cards so that the costs of any doctor visits are covered.

 

Check this site for proper forms -

 

http://www.freewebs.com/docdiva/Minor%20Travel%20Consent.pdf

 

It is highly unlikely that they will even look at it but if they ask for it and Nana does not have it, they will not let you on the ship.

 

DON

[Kerry's Girls]

Don't tell her you will miss her. In stead talk about all of the positive things she will enjoy on her cruise.

When kids go to camp, they don't want parents to call their children because it reminds them of home, and home sickness is worse. And most of the time they won't let the kids call home. (Of course that was before cell phones and text messaging.)

As another poster said, don't show her any doubts her going on this trip. It may be she is so concerned about the flight to Nana's, that she is not able to enjoy the anticipation of the trip.

 

This is pretty much exactly what I was going to post. For my daughter's sleepaway camp they send home a list of homesickness prevention tips and the biggest one is that absolutely no phone calls will be allowed because contact with the parent makes it worse. They do allow a note or two to be sent with the camper and also say that the note should not talk about "missing" the child, but instead talk about how excited you are to hear about the adventure and how proud you are. She's going to be proud of herself too.

 

Best,

Mia

[govgurl]

I would suggest looking at the layout of the ship together, pics and videos of the rooms and public areas online so a) she knows what to expect and b) she can get excited. The same thing with the flying. Talk about exactly what will happen on the flight. You'll walk her to the gate, an attendant will help her change planes in the airport. She can get a snack oba magazine, etc. Also mate a cruise journal to record her adventures an to have a private place to put any nervous or anxious thoughts do she can write them down, and then forget them and go have a great time with the rest of her day. Also, she may be a bit old for stuffed animals, but I've always found getting two identical stuffed animals, having her take one an you have one, so she can hold on to it when she misses you, is pretty affective with anxious kiddos

[tea4ular]

Please no "we miss you" notes. Make them more fun and engaging like "Can't wait to hear your stories about the towel animals!" or "Lucky you, getting to swim and hang out with Nana!"

 

You might send an interesting book for her. My niece loves word search and I just bought her 2 puzzle books with them to keep her entertained on a flight.

 

I LOVE the idea of buying her an inexpensive camera to document her trip. That is a lovely idea.

 

And I agree, no telling her that you'll miss her. That will only add to her anxiety.

[Celandine]

oh man, I was almost in her shoes...

 

 

when I was 12 years old I flew from Toronto to Vancouver to spend a few days with my aunt and uncle.

 

the UM program was great, the people were friendly and there were 2 other kids on my flight, we all sat together.

 

my aunt and uncle were late to pick me up (flight landed early) I was never left alone.

 

 

APparently, I was super homesick.... I'd be on the phone to my mum saying I want to come home.... of course I don't actually remember any of that... I only remember the good times I had and the places we went.

 

 

I like the idea of notes to open, and yes positive like "Oh, you are so lucky to be going to St. Thomas today. I can't wait to see your pictures and here all about your travels!"

 

Also, books great things.,... I like the idea of going over the ship layout with her, maybe check out some sample kids club programs to show her the kind of stuff she can do..... help her pack, and pick out potential outfits for each day...

 

have her bring a picture of you and she can take pictures with the picture around the ship and ports and it's like you were there too (kind of like the posts people make where they bring stuffed animals or large cutouts)

 

encourage her to keep a journal.... write down her thoughts (good or bad) to get them out, then go and have fun.... keeping a trip report might be fun too

[sjn911]

Wishes count, I just have to share with you that this 12 year old neice I have..well her sister and only sibling is 9 years older, and it they are very close..sounds like you two have a special relationship and will always..it is so wonderful...hard to be a different places growing up sometimes for MOM and sister but usually far less oh sibling issues I think with that kind of spread...my dad's only sibling is 9 years younger than he is too....but so wonderful really....much love, Sarah

[bitemyfly]

Years ago we took a neighbors child with us as she and my daughter were best friend.

She had never been away from home , and she was homesick. At first we made sure she had spoken to her parents at least once a day , we noticed that after talking with them she get into a funk for a couple hours.. so after the third day we did not set up the call.. by the 5th day she was fine.

When we left to go home she didn’t want to leave

Provide a safe environment, let them spread their wings a bit… it will all work out

[RuthlessBoss]

I think the problem stems from her NOT challenging herself in life. I know, I was one of those and still am at the age over 60. She's stuck in her safety net, fears the "unknown". All the advice given here is great. Tell her how proud you are of being able to experience such a trip. Acknowledge her fears but encourage her personal challenge.

[wishes count]

Thanks everyone for your input. I agree that she should be a little more independent, but she just has not had this type of experience before. I was very fortunate to have the opportunity to go to sleep away camp with the Girl Scouts when I was younger than she is now, but she has not. I went on a cruise with Nana when I was 10 and had a great time! But Nana also lived a lot closer and we had a closer relationship than my sister does with her.

 

I'm sure everything will work out and as many of you said hopefully she will be having so much fun after the first day that she won't have time to be homesick!

[waldocruiser1]

I have read the entire thread, and it is funny, only Lady's (I think) responding to the girl question.

 

Well from the guy's perspective;

 

she will get over it.

 

go on the boards, and find a copy of the daily activities list for the cruise she will be on, and let her see the first day. Have her pick out what she wants to do.

 

Now, the hard part, have Nana do what the girl wants (at least the first day) and then that night have her pick out the next day, and so on.

 

At 13 she has a lot of catching up to do, and needs to have fun. Give her a diary to take notes about what all she is doing to share with friends or family back home.

 

make sure and let Nana know some of the things the friends back home will be doing (soccer, softball, swimming, what ever) and have Nana down play what the friends are doing, when planning the next day.

 

"Just think (kid) we will be doing (xyz) and your friends with be just going to the (pool ???) that way the kid will feel better about what she is doing.

 

Now again, if it was a little boy at 13 we would be saying get over it, and have fun.

 

So get over it and have fun.