Live from the 2013 world cruise - on QM2

[Whitemarsh]

Lorraine Brown.

 

Lorraine again.

 

The maitre d works his magic.

 

Yum.

 

No one has been sent to 8129 this voyage. The Australians are certainly bringing it!

[Germancruiser]

I WANT Crepes Suzet- this instant! At Once, Pronto, SOFORT, UMGEHEND! NOW!

[CountessOz]

Whitemarsh, I really do appreciate that you are sacrifice yourself by having a drink for me. (As you know I do not normally drink:)) I do hope you have received my email re the cap. I am wondering if the FOD’s are from the Bowral . I met a couple whilst I was booking in to the Hotel in H.K. that were about to join the ship they seemed like fun.

[Whitemarsh]

Whitemarsh, I really do appreciate that you are sacrifice yourself by having a drink for me. (As you know I do not normally drink:)) I do hope you have received my email re the cap. I am wondering if the FOD’s are from the Bowral . I met a couple whilst I was booking in to the Hotel in H.K. that were about to join the ship they seemed like fun.

 

Yes, two of them are. They told me a very funny story about meeting you in the lobby of the hotel.

 

Also, I got your email but can't respond.

[Whitemarsh]

28th Feb:

 

I didn't get up until 10am this morning which is wonderfully decadent, but not as decadent as the lady with the ball gowns who I am told sleeps till 4pm each day and is only ever seen in the Princess Grill for dinner. I'd promised the European that I would join him up on the Grills sun-deck at 11am, so dressed in my dressing gown, hat and sunnies I made the trek from the bow of the ship to the stern. It's was the first time I've used the Grills deck during this voyage, which is rather silly. Yesterday I had to reproach myself for not going outside - not even once! Our relaxing sun baking was disturbed by the crowds who suddenly appeared to watch the crossing the equator ceremony, which was held at midday after having been cancelled yesterday due to the rain. It was quite fun to watch and I took some photos. Having forgot my camera I had to run back to the cabin to get it. I must have looked a sight running through the corridor on deck 9 in my bathrobe, sunnies and floppy hat. I hope no one thought I was doing a 'walk of shame'.

 

After the ceremony I decided to play bingo but unfortunately I didn't win. I've played bingo enough times now to know all the phrases, so when number 16 was called and the guy said "Sweet sixteen and never been kissed. To that we say?" I was unsurprised to hear myself say "rubbish!". Afternoon-tea followed bingo and, again, I had a special guest attend - a Britannia passenger. I rather like inviting people to afternoon tea. Next voyage I am going to have the concierge issue invites using those cards they send out for the cocktail parties.

 

So as not to neglect my core demographic, I put in an appearance at the FOD. We're being looked after by a lovely waiter and Beatrice is always a lot of fun. There is still a good crowd turning up each evening, which is unsurprising as Australians will generally welcome any chance for a drink. The usual 'laundry wars' stories were still being swapped, which - quite frankly - just isn't good enough. These guys call themselves gay men, but I sometimes wonder if that's the case with this group - based on the lack of shipboard gossip I am hearing. Still, they are all very nice and that's the main thing.

 

The doctor rang me this afternoon to inform me that there will be two free spaces on my old table as two people are dining elsewhere tonight. It's getting all very confusing for the poor maitre d, he's organised a bevy of tables for me to sit at but tonight I returned to the old one. I tried to explain (diplomatically) why I happy to sit at my old table, for tonight only, but it got lost in translation. "Sit wherever you like" he said. "Whatever makes you happy". Dinner was very enjoyable, I had the soufflé and steamed lobster with butter sauce and lemon. For dessert I had the sorbet again as it was so good the other night. They're more than happy to trek around the ship's restaurants to obtain the multiple flavours, which I really do appreciate, although I will tell them not to bother with the orange flavour anymore as I'm not that partial to it.

 

I took some lovely photos of the table tonight and as I showed them to the american lady I did say that I wished this group had of been the table as it works so well. Ah well, c'est la vie. Our table was the last to leave as we were having so much fun.

 

After dinner the doctor and I checked out G32. G32 was nearly empty as it was 60's music night tonight and the Queens Room was packed with eager baby-boomers dancing away to the 'Twist'. I've spent nearly three weeks dancing in G32 every night so, for a change, we decided to go up to Churchill's where the European said he would probably go after dinner. He was in attendance, along with the American lady who owns all the wonderful ball gowns, another lady in a fitted black cocktail dress and a man who I recognised as the father of a little girl that I've seen around the ship since Singapore. I told him that his little girl was very well behaved, which she is, and after thanking me for the compliment he mentioned that the Kids Club on board was excellent. Tomorrow the people that run the Kids Club are putting on a treasure hunt of sorts and the children will be escorted around the ship as they hunt for the treasure.

 

It's about time that I had a cigar, having never had one before, so I had the waiter help me choose an appropriate one and ordered a scotch & dry. The cigar was okay, but I think I will stick with cigarettes. A lot of people have commented very positively about the atmosphere in Churchhill's and I have to agree with them. The ambiance is very relaxing, yet sophisticated, and (because you can hear people without having to strain) the conversations are quite interesting. For example, I was told that a couple of days before Hong Kong a staff member lost the plot in one of the public rooms and security had to come and escort them back to the crew quarters. They were sedated and kept in their room until the ship docked in Hong Kong and an ambulance came and took them away.

 

Also, in addition to the cold/cough that is spreading through the ship (I have the Kathleen Turner variety - I feel fine, I just have this super sexy voice) we are pretty sure that Noro-Virus is making an unwelcome reappearance. Seventeen people have apparently been confined to their cabins, and, if they have balconies, they have been ordered to sleep with the door open to promote the circulation of fresh air.

 

This fits in with the recent announcements the commodore has been making about health being the number one priority on board. He has again reminded everyone to continually wash their hands and (so I am told) Kings Court is back to high alert with no self-service allowed. One of the men in Churchill's told us that he had been in one of the lifts in the D staircase and upon leaving heard a female passenger vomit in the lift. She apparently made a quick exit and ran down one of the passenger corridors (to presumably head straight for the bathroom). The man let a nearby staff member know, they dropped what they were doing and immediately locked the lift. A number of passengers must have called security, or the medical centre, because in next to no time a medical representative and security staff were knocking on the door of the lady who vomited and "requested" that she accompany them to the medical centre. We think that they reviewed the camera footage to find out what stateroom she was in.

 

In other more glamorous news, the American lady with the ball gowns is apparently travelling with 22 suitcases. She told us that she has them artfully arranged throughout her Princess Grill suite so that she still has use of the bed, sofa and chair. She told us that she had asked the steward to put some of the suitcases in storage but he said that they couldn't. Upon hearing this the lady in the smart cocktail dress declared that this wasn't good enough and went and sat by the American lady to urge her to be more assertive. "Just tell your butler to take them away" said cocktail dress lady. This is good advice but the American lady doesn't have a butler as she's in Princess Grill. However, everyone felt that if you've paid for a world voyage in Princess Grill and you're travelling solo (as the American lady is) then Cunard really ought to store some of your 22 suitcases for you. After all, the American lady is doing her bit by bringing along 22 suitcases and "not repeating an outfit" as she told us. Actually, that's not true, as the Princess Diana dress was worn between Singapore and Hong Kong, and then between Hong Kong and Singapore. However, I wont reveal her secret to those guests who boarded in Hong Kong as I appreciate the effort she goes to each night, and let's face it, that dress was so spectacular she could wear it every night and no one would care.

 

We stayed until 1am and upon bidding goodnight to the doctor and the american lady (cocktail dress lady having retired previously) the european and I went for a walk around deck 7. There is something particularly evocative about walking the deck when there is no one around and the night is lit only by the moon and the few stars that can be seen (due to the light emanating from the ship). On the horizon an island is barely visible and elsewhere the flickering lights of passing ships make for a very peaceful walk. Reaching midships we spot a couple that dances in G32 every night, the lady greets us and says "no dancing tonight?". We laugh and agree that it's nice to take a break from the dance floor every now and then. Taking the stairs to the pool on deck 8 I am slightly annoyed by the net they use to close the pool. We're just off the coast of Papua New Guinea and the temperature would have been perfect for a late night swim. Why do they rope the pools off at night, I suppose they don't want drunken passengers to fall in.

 

It's been a great evening and this 'transatlantic' in the middle of the world voyage has been very enjoyable. We have one sea day left to go before we reach Cairns and the realisation that this voyage is coming to an end is slightly depressing. On my last voyage I was more than ready to get off after 22 nights on board, looking back I think that was because I overindulged. In contrast, on this voyage, I have been very sensible and stuck to the basics - caviar and lobster - so I am reasonably sure that I haven't gained any weight; in fact I may have even lost it as there is no McDonalds or KFC on board.

 

1st March: the sea day before Cairns

 

It's midday and the commodore has come over the loudspeaker to apologise to everyone for this ship not being as good as the QE2. :D He wonders why we've all wasted our money and didn't we know that the QE2 was the last word in cruising and that there is simply no point in bothering to cruise anymore, now that the QE2 has been retired..

 

No, of course he didn't say that. What he does tells us is that we are in the Coral Sea after exciting the Solomon Sea at about 5am this morning. We are now 125 miles south of Papau New Guinea and doing 21 knots. The commodore again mentions the health issues currently on board and confirms that there is a higher level of prevention protocols in the Kings Court and the restaurants. They have roped off all the photos in the photo gallery and only the staff are allowed to touch them. I also heard that they've locked all the book cabinets in the library. I've written a letter to the Entertainment Director to recomend that Vibez stay in the crew area, just to make sure they don't catch anything - I'm thinking of them of course. ;)

 

Until next time.

 

P.S. I just want to make clear that nothing untoward happened on my old table that made me decide to move, no one danced inappropriately on it or took off all their clothes. :)

[Pushka]

What a wonderful source of chatter you are Whitemarsh. Loving it. So, your next voyage then. When would this be? :)

 

I recall the blogger from the last world cruise saying she retrieved her luggage from storage and she certainly wasn't in Grills suites. So I think a little more assertiveness might be in order.

[Whitemarsh]

Getting ready for the crossing of the equator ceremony.

 

The 25 people that signed up got smeared with all sorts of goo.

 

Getting ready to be smacked with a fish.

 

Everyone got a certificate to commemorate the occasion.

[Whitemarsh]

And a jump in the pool to wash it all off.

 

Walking the decks at night.

 

The pool at night.

[Lady Hudson]

Whitemarsh - I have so enjoyed your posts. I really appreciate folks like you who use valuable vacation time to "take us all along" on your voyage. Enjoy your remaining days on QM2. Katherine

[DreamflightPat]

Getting ready for the crossing of the equator ceremony.

 

The 25 people that signed up got smeared with all sorts of goo.

 

Getting ready to be smacked with a fish.

 

Everyone got a certificate to commemorate the occasion.

Whitemarsh, I am so enjoying your posts and photographs. I am doing the FLL to SYD on the QE next year and I am almost wishing my life away to get to next year. I have crossed the equator before on a ship, but I crossed it many many times in the air when I was working as a Cabin Service Director for British Airways, but the ceremonies in the air are nothing like on a ship!!!

 

Look forward to your next posts.

 

Regards

Pat

[Whitemarsh]

What a wonderful source of chatter you are Whitemarsh. Loving it. So, your next voyage then. When would this be? :)

 

I recall the blogger from the last world cruise saying she retrieved her luggage from storage and she certainly wasn't in Grills suites. So I think a little more assertiveness might be in order.

 

Yeah me too, they should put her suitcases somewhere.

 

I have no idea about the next voyage, when I disembarked last year in March I had no future booking and yet here I am.

 

Whitemarsh - I have so enjoyed your posts. I really appreciate folks like you who use valuable vacation time to "take us all along" on your voyage. Enjoy your remaining days on QM2. Katherine

 

Thank you. :)

 

Whitemarsh, I am so enjoying your posts and photographs. I am doing the FLL to SYD on the QE next year and I am almost wishing my life away to get to next year. I have crossed the equator before on a ship, but I crossed it many many times in the air when I was working as a Cabin Service Director for British Airways, but the ceremonies in the air are nothing like on a ship!!!

 

Look forward to your next posts.

 

Regards

Pat

 

Thanks Pat. That itinerary you're doing is on my bucket list. Hope you enjoy it.

[Happyboating]

Whitemarsh, I'm just loving your excellent blog and I just have to ask, did the mystery couple on your table not conform to the required dress codes?

[CountessOz]

Re Whitemarsh’s next cruise I strongly encouraging him to join me and others to go on the Celebrity Solstice from Hawaii to Sydney. They have not advertised it as yet but it should be sailing the end of September early October.:p

[fantasy51]

Thank you for all you have written. I'm so sorry that your voyage is coming to an end! Hurry up and plan your next voyage.

[QM1]

Great blog, Whitemarsh (sorry for being not more creative to praise you!).

 

 

 

Below are some of the things I regularly hear and the responses I would like to give:

 

• The meal portions are too small (yep, there's a real danger you're going to starve to death on this ship)
  
• The meal portions are too big (I know, and what's worse you have to finish it all - what with that gun they hold to your head)
  
• There is rust on the outside railings (yes, they should keep the ship away from the sea as that's a known cause of rust)
  
• The band is too loud (Is the band too loud or are you too old?)
  
• The shows are no good (well this is sort of valid, there are some bad shows - but most of them, and the guest entertainers, are great)
  
• The food in Britannia is terrible (when I heard this one I couldn't help myself. "That's bull-dust" I said (actually I didn't say bull-dust, you can guess what I really said). "I just did 8 days in the Britannia and the food was excellent".
  
• Cunard is owned by Carnival and it's gone downhill in the last couple of years (some first timers hear this and then wander the ship chanting it like Buddhist monks. They are usually surprised to hear that Cunard was taken over by Trafalgar - I think - back in the early 70's and hasn't been an independent company since then.)
  
• The ship is too big and the layout is confusing (ah, first-world problems….)
  
• It's too far to walk (because you're getting so much exercise otherwise?)
  
• We prefer the Victoria (I wish you were on it right now)
  
• We prefer the Elizabeth (I wish you were on it right now)
  

 

I, for one, would prefer that everyone just shut the frank up and got on with enjoying their holiday. Is that too much to ask? Am I reaching for the stars?

 

Right on the spot, I heard all this as well onboard, thinking some of those whiners are obviously travelling on a different ship at the same time or have been frustrated by birth.

Very enjoyable when you reported about the officer telling "enough" to that nagging lady. When I read complaints here, knowing the QM2 from just 2 voyages, I cant help to think that the main thing worth nagging and whining about is often enough the very person who does, and not the things that are not up to his or her expectation.

And I´ve been on QE2, I know how much better she was.

Not really;-)

[balf]

[quote=Whitemarsh;

[*]

[*]The band is too loud (Is the band too loud or are you too old?)

[*].

 

Probably both. Ah the old noise problem, most old timers , whose hearing has probably been damages in the past by ( gunfire, industrial noise or, 60's on loud music) are likely to find amplified sound excessive. On the other hand youngsters whose hearing is now being damaged by the excessive noise, can't get enough of it.

Eventually of course the kids will grow into old timers who will complain that the music is too loud.

 

This level of noise in Cunard theatres would certainly exceed industrial limits.

 

I can recommend a good hearing aid for future reference.

 

David.

[zoomerica]

Thank you so much Whitemarsh! One of the best blogs written from such the perfect point of view. I really don't want you to disembark! So much fun, love to do a segment or long voyage on The Great Ship...

[Michelle25490]

Thank you Whitemarsh for the great updates and photo's! Can't you stay on board untill the end of the World Cruise and keep writing? :D

[Pushka]

Hey Whitemarsh, for some reason I thought you were doing the circumnavigation of NZ, hence the Sydney comment. I think we should pass the hat around to keep you onboard.

[retafcruiser]

28th Feb 2013: ... So, anyway, the current maitre d of the Queens Grill restaurant is Ozman (correct pronunciation - not correctly spelling). I didn't get him at first, but it all finally clicked and now I'm very happy with him. .....

 

We never did "get him". Unfortunately our experience was not nearly as good as yours. I won't go into details because this is not the place to air dirty laundry.

[Pies4u]

Osman was our first MD on Victoria - he was excellent, very personable & helpful. His No: 2 was a tall guy, John, who was exceptional.

 

If Osman is on QM2 when we board in April, then we'll be very happy with that.

[RJChatsworth]

The MD of QM-2's Queens Grill must have his favourites because when we were on the ship for two weeks last November all he did was grunt at us from his desk. He never came to our table until after about seven days and that was because he'd heard we'd been invited to the Captain's table. Before this we'd asked for a move from our table for two to another nearer the entrance if one became available and he told us 'that area is for people in higher grade cabins'! On another occasion on arriving in New York we arrived at breakfast to find the waiters clearing the tables. I pointed out that the daily programme showed a later closing time. After breakfast the MD was sprawled over his desk and I asked him why the QG had closed earlier than that shown in the daily programme. He said he knew it closed at the later time but hadn't told the staff. There were always selected people he took to their tables. It was only after we'd been on the Catain's table he told us about what was availabe 'off menu'.

 

He needs to go for re-training to treat everyone the same way - or does money talk?!!

[david,Mississauga]

Probably both. Ah the old noise problem, most old timers , whose hearing has probably been damages in the past by ( gunfire, industrial noise or, 60's on loud music) are likely to find amplified sound excessive. On the other hand youngsters whose hearing is now being damaged by the excessive noise, can't get enough of it.

Eventually of course the kids will grow into old timers who will complain that the music is too loud.

 

This level of noise in Cunard theatres would certainly exceed industrial limits.

 

I can recommend a good hearing aid for future reference.

 

David.

 

I disagree that it is an “age” thing. We see many times on this and other forums that “if it’s too loud you’re too old.” Horsefeathers I say. When my relatives got old and hard of hearing they wanted the volume turned up on the radio and television. But even my mother found that many theatrical entertainments were too loud. She did not need her hearing aid turned on.

 

Unfortunately, over the past 25 years or so it has become trendy to over-amplify everything. When I started attending legitimate theatre about 50 years ago there was no use of amplification, except in the largest barn-type theatres. Actors were trained to project their voices “to the gods.” One of the loveliest theatres in Canada (the Royal Alexandra in Toronto) never had amplification for plays and even musicals until perhaps the late 1970s. The rot set in when American TV and movie starts were brought in to help sell tickets because of their fame. Most were not trained in theatre so they had to have microphones. About 20 years ago a production of The Importance of Being Earnest was brought over from the West End. The management of the large Toronto theatre assumed the play would be amplified. The producer was horrified and sent the audio team packing. I sat in the cheap seats and heard every word. Then there are cinemas: it seems that the volume is inversely proportional to the quality of the film. I suppose we can appreciate car crashes and shooting only if we are deafened by the noise, yet we are allowed to appreciate the spoken word at a reasonable level in a film that is meant to impress people over 16.

 

The prestigious Shaw Festival in Niagara-on-the Lake, Ontario and the Stratford Festival do not use amplification (except for musicals at the latter in order to get the right balance between stage and pit.) Christopher Newton, the former artistic director of the Shaw Festival was addressing a few complaints from people who said they had a hard time hearing. He responded by saying that he hires only properly trained actors and the problem is the audience because many people are so used to having everything blasted at them that they have lost the art of listening. How true.

 

It is hard to find a restaurant these days in the Toronto area that does not have some type of pop music blaring. When I go out for a meal it isn’t just to eat. I like to enjoy conversation and it is becoming increasingly difficult to do this. Getting back to ships, a young relative of my travel agent went on a cruise from a US port. She said that pop music was played just about everywhere. Even in their cabin they could hear it blasting through the corridors. I hope Cunard never dumbs down to that level.

[RCNslr]

I am sorry to learn that your dining service experience did not meet your expectations. We have had the privilege of superb dining in both princess and queens grills overseen by Osman. We will be off again soon, and hope that we are lucky enough to see him managing the Grills, but even if he isn't, Cunard staff seem to treat us all well. Your comments re: largesse, seem unfair, we have never been invited to the Captain's table, so our experience was not a result of that and being a Scots/Canadian, I seldom spend money gratuitously, but I do tip after good service.

[Whitemarsh]

1st March: the sea day before Cairns.

 

After a couple of coffees in Sir Samuel's it's time for more bingo madness. Branka is having a bit of trouble with her register this morning and a few passengers are having to have their receipts done manually. One passenger asks Branka for the winning ticket and says that Branka can stop practising with all these losing tickets. I've not adequately captured that interaction so the humour isn't translating, however it was funny - I guess you just had to be there. Entering the Queens Room I spy a couple of the FODs are sitting at one of my preferred tables near the dance floor and so make a bee line for their table.

 

Today DJ Alex is calling the bingo numbers as the regulars must be busy or something. Alex hasn't used this bingo machine and receives instructions from the lady that usually calls it. Eventually we get underway and Alex explains the first game. Unfortunately he's not aware of how much we're playing for and seems a bit lost under someone points out that the prize amount is up on the big screen behind him - hilarious. Bingo was a lot of fun today, Alex was making up his own little sayings and I spend most of the game clapping and laughing. Hopefully Alex will call more bingo games.

 

It seems that the remainder of the Grill guests have finally figured out that they can have afternoon tea in the Queens Grill lounge as the room is the busiest I have seen it since Hong Kong. The doctor is already in residence and has secured our preferred seats. I'm going to miss afternoon tea when I get off in Brisbane. For those of you that don't know, the best seat in the QGL is the final set of sofa & chairs (on the right hand side) as you walk in. If you sit on the sofa you get a wonderful view out to the sea, plus you are close to the bar and can quickly signal the staff for anything that you need.

 

Following on from afternoon tea I go for a run in the gym and then a quick sauna and shave before changing for dinner. Tonight we have been invited to dine in the Britannia Restaurant by friends. It's during the late sitting so after meeting up outside the pub we wander into the restaurant to the table that has been arranged for us. On the way I see quite a few people that I know and it's nice to say 'hi' and wave to them. Coincidentally it's just on the other side of the waiter's station from my old table - so a great location. The waiter from the Singapore to Hong Kong sector (Eddie) comes over to say hi and I say 'hello' and pass on the regards from a regular Cunard cruiser that asked me to do so.

 

This evening I am again reminded of how much I enjoy the buzz of the Britannia Restaurant. The service is fast and efficient and the food is great. If there are any future reviews about the Hong Kong to Brisbane sector that say that the food in the Britannia Restaurant was inedible or terrible then I question the sanity of the reviewer - seriously. Since I embarked in Singapore on the 9th Feb I have not come across any inedible or bad food on this ship. I've even had a few quick snacks/breakfasts in Kings Court and found the food there to be very good.

 

After dinner we head into G32 to see what's happening and meet up with the doctor who is already in there chatting with friends. Vibez are back. Apparently the drummer was unwell but he's recovered now. A group of us chats and drinks up on the 2nd level of G32 and I am informed by a 'little bird' that my cabin neighbours have been complaining about all the smoke. Supposedly they have been telling people that I am smoking in my room as they believe the smoke is wafting in under their door - even though there is no connecting door between the suites. So presumably they believe that the smoke is leaving my room, making a sharp turn right, then another sharp turn right to eventually billow in under their stateroom door. I am not smoking in my room, I only ever smoke out on the balcony, so I have no idea what they are talking about.

 

A few drinks, and a packet of cigarettes later, it's time for bed. Wandering from G32 back to the cabin is always interesting as the ship is nearly empty, except for a few cleaning staff here and there.