JW and Jerome's Excellent Adventure on the Celebrity REFLECTION!

[pxy cda]

may just have to make a special trip to your area of the world to see the Christmas house. Beautiful!

 

I am REALLY looking forward to meeting both of you.

 

[PS - reflecting on your subsequent posts, I am NOT a hatlady in training - Im not that Kooky and not that old and I am british WHITE and tend to be COUTH even when typsy! But I will enjoy some cocktails with you nonetheless and we will be best of friends fer sure!!!!;)]

[Scrapnana]

It's obvious you and Jerome attack life with gusto. Your home is amazing - just wish I lived close enough to visit it. Well done!

[cormike1]

By any chance have they filmed your home JW and Jerome? I have watched Christmas specials about houses in the U.S. that are "extremely decorated" and have tons of people visiting each year and your certainly could be in there. Most of the homes they show on the show are only outside decorations and I haven't seen one where you can actually tour the home to. Amazing is all I can say!!!!

[BugsyCruiser]

JW, a toast to you and Jerome for your charity work. I salute you

[cormike1]

Hi JW and Jerome,

 

Do you have a tree that is decorated with ornaments that you have collected from places you have traveled to over the years? That is my favourite part of decorating....taking out all the wonderful decorations of our travels and all the wonderful memories that go along with them. I will be surprised if you say no you don't lol.

[cruiseguys2009]

Hi JW and Jerome,

 

Do you have a tree that is decorated with ornaments that you have collected from places you have traveled to over the years? That is my favourite part of decorating....taking out all the wonderful decorations of our travels and all the wonderful memories that go along with them. I will be surprised if you say no you don't lol.

 

 

Yes, we have a "Cruise Port" Tree! That's one of my favorites and usually the last one completed as it's done when we return from our November Cruise just before the house opens.

[cruiseguys2009]

JW, a toast to you and Jerome for your charity work. I salute you

 

 

I said tinkle twice in that last chapter, no, maybe three times, clink to you to Chris!

[cruiseguys2009]

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes and wonderful remarks.

 

You just can't make this stuff up!

 

And.....Just so you are not left hanging at work on Monday morning, I will not be able to post the next chapter until after 5PM tomorrow EST. So it will truly be "happy hour" when I submit the next chapters for your review. I will be on all night!

 

See you on the boards and the high seas with a Martini!

[librarylady19]

Something to look forward to!! Thanks JW.

[jkm151]

Hey JW and Jerome. We are a gay couple in Tampa,Fl.,I"m Joe and my partner is Mikel. We enjoy cruising also, and I am so loving your review. We just returned last month from the Freedom of the Seas Eastern Caribbean cruise. We have our next cruise booked for March 22,2014 on the Eclipse. Too bad you are cruising when you we get back.we would love to meet the both of you. Keep up the great review, and drop me a line sometime.

Happy Cruising!!!! Joe & Mike

[cruiseguys2009]

What all "Tumblina" went thru last night, is it any wonder that I was able to fill out the Room Service Breakfast Menu? Again, handwriting a little bit of this, a little bit of that, and seemingly every liquid imaginable from juices, coffee to milk. Poor Corazon! She was a real trooper each morning, I will give her that. And I still was amazed at how much my little Lulla Bye League Girl could carry!

 

“Tap, Tap Tap.” “Tap, Tap, Tap”. This morning I was ready! I asked for 8:30 AM delivery and I got exactly 8:30 AM delivery. “Good Morning”, she said as she arrived. Piled high once again, was our very own Private Buffet. This morning, Jerome had our table cloth ready on the table on the balcony, and we helped Corazon bring in all the goodies and place it on the desk and cocktail table in the room. Love, Love, Love Corazon! She asked if she could serve us outside and I politely declined, that would definitely be a bit much for us, but again, Celebrity has consistently offered and provided 5 star service!

 

This was San Juan day. Why, oh why, does Celebrity waste valuable “Day’ Time and pull into this port at 3:00 PM? There is not a lot to do when you finally get off the ship, as the stores are about to close, and several main attractions close at 4:30 PM. The Bacardi Museum is “Over” the late arrivals each and every week (I know this as I have two very good friends that are with the Family, and run the Operation, who I went to school with. Sadly we could not get together this trip, but plan to in November!). The official Celebrity excursion is consistently late in arriving, and I know that they wish the Reflection would arrive just a tad bit earlier. I just have to say, ??????

 

Sorry for my rant, back to the review. Jerome and I finish our lovely 6 orders of bacon, waffles, French toast and hard boiled egg breakfast, with bagels, cream cheese, smoked salmon, cereal and danish,…..Raymond Burr Here I come! As far as the bacon goes, Jerome wants me to say that he has two pieces of bacon and I have the rest of the mountain. There, happy now Jerome? As he looks over my shoulder wanting everyone to know that I am the piggy pig, not him. Well! “Can I get back to my story Jerome?”

 

Since I got sunburned the day before, there was going to be no sun for me, so Jerome and I dressed for San Juan. "Port WEAR!" I had on a Tee Shirt that said in Rhinestones “Martini’s Make My Clothes Fall Off!” It was purchased for me from one of our Roll Call Members from our Norwegian EPIC sailing lat November, and this was the first time I was able to wear it. It’s funny on it’s own, but funnier when I tell you what happened and WHERE it happened…..Later

 

We left our cabin and went down to Café Al Bacio for Cappuccino and Bailey’s. The young lady behind the counter was making some kind of frozen concoction and it looked so good….I asked her what it was. “IGLO” (pronounced IGLOO). "What’s in it?" She showed me the menu and there are three variations. This one, that she made for another customer, had chocolate and Bailey’s. Oh……My……….Gawd! She gave Jerome and I a sample to try……….Oh……..My……….Gawd! It’s an ADULT milk shake. She said that if I were to have Two of These, then the words on my Tee Shirt would come true! Ten O’clock in the morning and I am 1,2,3-ing it up already!

 

We resisted the IGLO THIS morning, and stuck with our Capp with Bailey’s, and sat down right at the glass rail that overlooks the Tree, (How do they do that?) and just took it all in. Okay, I am not a sweets eater much, that being said, the pastries and delectable delights each day in Café Al Bacio are divine! Kudos to the talented Pastry Chef that was present this morning and got me to try them. I, who for one, does not do sweets, came back for more and more. Yum!

 

After Cappuccino, guess where our next stop was? It’s with Ruxandra at the Passport Lobby Bar. Common, make me tinkle, say her name out loud with me…..RUX-AN-DRA!!!!!! Yeah, roll it out slowly! Gosh I love her name. And I love those hand constructed, perfectly seasoned, Grey Goose Bloody Mary’s of hers. I know that all the other bars had the same exact ingredients, but there were something about Ruanda’s (I just had to say/write her name again!) Bloody Mary’s that were just a tad bit above the rest. Maybe it was the Luv she put into making them…..awwww…..

 

I had a feeling that the ship seemed to be racing to San Juan, as the Passport Bar has large windows and this is the first and only time that Jerome and I felt a bit queasy. Out of the corner of our eyes, the waves, the white caps, the sea, the rocking, the oh buh! I think I am queasy now just writing this…..JW, stop! Get me some Bonine! Oh wait, I know the name of the Liquid Motion Sickness stuff, it’s called “Motioneze”, Walmart, $5.29. Let’s all try it together.

 

Back to Queasy…..the ship is rocking a bit, back and forth….Jerome says, “JW, let’s to on deck” I agree without any argument. Up the glass elevator we go. It’s an interesting feeling to be rocking back and forth, at the same time you are going up or down on an elevator.

 

AHHHHH, Deck 14, Fresh Air, Pool Deck…..Youhooooooooooo! JayRomeo! (Jay Romeo? Crap, she is drunker than I am at 10:30 in the gosh dang morning!) Jay Double You HOOOOOOO! There Hat Lady is, at the Pool Bar, all decked out in a Putana Red and Silver Studded ensemble,(How appropriate),with another one of her famous hats, this one a Fire Engine Red Studded Matching Biker Sombrero. Where do these outfits come from? Does Harley Davidson have a Putana Department Store now?

 

We stop by and there is that gorgeous Colombian Pool Bar Attendant Nelson. He immediately greets us with a glass of Champagne for me and a Corona for Jerome. We chat, say “howdy“ to passers-by and then I guess the salt air is getting to me, I is Hungry!

 

So for the first time, we venture in to the Ocean View Café (Buffet) for lunch. To eat a real Buffet meal. I did tell you we love Golden Corral. Well, this is way better. (Except for the confusing line at the Pasta Station which is right next to the Pizza station…..What do you want, Pasta or Pizza? Most people lined up are in line for Pasta. If you want Pizza, just walk up and butt in the front of them. The pizza is great, the best on any ship wee have ever been on. Did I mention the Pizza is fantastic? It’s not frozen pizza, it’s for handmade real. Yum!

 

So Jerome and I find a table, and even at peak times, there is plenty of open space, and this table became “Our” table the entire voyage. It was just past the bar, in the middle of the room, but also by the front entrance as well. Jerome and I first ordered a Martini for me and a Corona for himself, then went to peruse the selections. Oh my gosh…..where can I begin? Hand made toasted Panini’s. Hand Carved Meats. Homemade Chicken Pot Pie. Indian cuisine! An extensive salad bar, which I liked a lot, however, there were no olives on the Salad Bar, only at the Pasta Station. So, I would get my salad all gussied and dressed up, then cut in line at the Pasta Station and ask for some “Olives Please”. About two days later, “Voila” Black and Green Olives appeared at the Salad Bar, but it was only to be short lived. Celebrity! I like Olives in a lot of things besides pasta and Martini’s…….There were two hot entree sections with lots of wonderful chicken and steak items, Mexican fiesta station and of course ice cream and dessert!

 

Once we got all our Lunch items, I should say "Platters", we settled into our table. Low and behold, Hat Lady waltzed right by us and she had a plate in one hand and a bottle of champagne in the other. She sat down at a table by the window about twenty feet from us. I said to Jerome, “Is she eating?” He said, “Yeah, but what the heck are those green things on her plate?” “All she’s got is green things and cheese!” Right then and there, Hat Lady got back up, passed right by us (Maybe Jerome was right, she did have lousy eyesight after all) and then came back with more Green Things.

 

This time she did see us, and stopped and started chatting with us. I asked her “What are those green things?” “Figs“, she said, “Figs?”. “What the heck is that?” Jerome said and without a hesitation, she picked one up in her hand, and while his mouth was open, she popped in a fig. Jerome, surprised, but took the gesture in stride, chewed it and said “Interesting, Figs you said?" Hat Lady had another just like an armed and cocked “Buckshot Green Thing called Figs” already in her fingers for MY MOUTH, and I clammed up….NOOOOOOOO! I am allergic to Mango’s, Papaya, Avocado’s and I don’t want to take a chance on this cruise to see if I am allergic to Figs too! Go Away with That! Anyway, Jerome said I would not like it, so that was easy. I was not about to open my mouth for Hat Lady at all! For anything! No way!

 

But, I do want to say, that Hat Lady returned to her table by the window, poured herself a glass of champagne and popped a couple of green things in her glass, so I can testify here, Hat Lady DID eat!

 

Continued……

[cruiseguys2009]

Hey JW and Jerome. We are a gay couple in Tampa,Fl.,I"m Joe and my partner is Mikel. We enjoy cruising also, and I am so loving your review. We just returned last month from the Freedom of the Seas Eastern Caribbean cruise. We have our next cruise booked for March 22,2014 on the Eclipse. Too bad you are cruising when you we get back.we would love to meet the both of you. Keep up the great review, and drop me a line sometime.

Happy Cruising!!!! Joe & Mike

 

 

Hi Joe and Hi Mike, glad you are having a great time with our review. We are solidly booked thru 2014. We do sail in the summer time, around the Hurricanes, if any, and it's usually out of Port Canaveral or Miami, last minute! Would love to sail with you too!

[happyiam]

Your review needs to come with a warning label...Laughter may cause involuntary urge to tinkle..Excellent job.

 

Did your Christmas house get videotaped for a TV special? I thought I recognized a few of the pictures you posted.

[cruiseguys2009]

After Figs, Hat Lady, Champagne, Martini’s and Lunch, Jerome and I grabbed another bottle of water each, and also, I wanted two glasses of Fresh Squeezed OJ from the bar. We brought two FS Orange Juices, in wine glasses, back to the stateroom. It was about 2 PM and I knew we were getting close to docking in San Juan as there was Land Ho! In sight.

 

I had many conversations on the phone with Celebrity Customer Service Reps prior to our first sailing, and I yes, it was my first sailing, and I was a constant Nervous Nellie to say the least! And, on one such occasion, I mentioned to this lovely Senior Representative “Hailey”, that Jerome and I were celebrating our Anniversary. Well what a wonderful surprise in our stateroom on departure, here was a gorgeous bottle of chilled Moet Champagne, ice bucket and all, compliments of Celebrity Cruise Lines. I just knew Hailey had something to do with it! Thank you Hailey! Thank you Celebrity! And once again, 5 Star Service, Celebrity does care!

 

Now you know why I needed the Fresh Squeezed OJ, don’t you? It was for Mimosa’s for our San Juan Arrival on our Balcony! (Fresh Squeezed OJ is only available for purchase, or if you have that handy dandy 1,2,3 Go Premium Upgrade Promotion….to which FS QJ is included. FS OJ would be just a waste if you didn’t add a touch of vodka or champagne to it!….a “WASTE” I Said! Those hard working OV Bartenders go to all that trouble and work squeezing the oranges and grapefruit for you personally. The least you could do, would be to add some gosh darn Vodka to it for Krisakes! So just do it!) I’m sorry, that was my mid-morning “Testy-ness” showing thru, as I would really love to be on my balcony right now with a gigantic Mama Mimosa! (Oh my gosh, I just thought of a new Drag Queen Name…MAMA MIMOSA!)

 

Note to self: Halloween-Drag-Costume-“Mama Mimosa”, think Hat Lady verses Carmen Miranda.

 

Anyway, as we sail into San Juan ,Jerome has made an additional trip up to the bar for two more Fresh Squeezed, and we since have polished off the bottle of Hailey’s Champagne as the ropes are being tied up….On the Dock, silly…On The DOCK! We are rare-in to go!

 

Whew, am I happy! Jerome makes me sit and wait on the Balcony until 3:30 PM, until we begin our descent to the bowels of the ship to disembark. "You want to let the Walkers and Rascals off the ship", he says” Let the Silver’s get off the ship first, with their machinery” “You will lose your patience, JW, with the Rascal’s, as they all ride all over you! They all gotta be first ,you know!” He says. Hmmmm. "What a Premonition." I thought later. Read on.

 

“Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep” “OW, That’s my foot! DANGIT” I screamed, as a four hundred pound monstrosity of a Raymond Burr (That’s an Ironside Raymond Burr, Jerome) rolls over me, backing out of the elevator. Not the elevator that we just came out of mind you, but the one next to us. Without even looking behind him, his elevator door opened and he briskly backed his “Beep, Beeped” of a rented Rascal right out onto my foot and leg! My good foot, mind you! The entitled SOB did not even say he was “Sorry“, “Oopps“, nothing. Just rudely acknowledge running over me with a loud New York accent raised voice, saying “Why don’t you watch where the (Insert the nasty “F” word here) you’re going!”

 

Jerome and I are so conservative.

 

We don’t use that word. Even though it has 24 different meanings, I will not lower myself to use it, EVER. AND DON’T USE IT IN MY PRESENCE! I personally know bigger “fifty cent” words than that and will verbally massacre anyone with a “Twelve dollar” phrase. There are “Other” words that I will use. I think Library Lady would be proud.

 

(To recap, I was there in the elevator lobby first, in a slow moving line, a good two minutes first before his elevator arrived. There was no where for me to go as we were packed like sardines in the vestibule, slowly moving toward the dual exits. This "Entitled Being In A Rented Rascal" was clearly inconsiderate to everyone around us, and was way to excited to get his TOY off the elevator and push ahead of the rest of us)

 

So, After my “Other” foot, and thank you, leg, which later bruised up, recovered, I calmly went up to him, and as he was exiting the boat with his Rented Rascal and he was finally on the dockside, I asked him politely, “Excuse me sir? Sir in the Rascal?” He stopped his 5 mile an hour "I'll Run You Over", trek on the dock, with his breaks screeching to a sudden stop, scouring in his seat, he angrily turns towards me, looking up..... “I’m Sorry to bother you", I said. "But, well you see, I have a puzzling question to ask you.” He yelled at me.... “Yeah, What the *** do you want?” (***?) Okay, now he is in the soup! I smiled broadly. It was THAT broad smile that says "That I am gonna let you verbally have it", and Jerome knew that this guy was in trouble right then and there.

 

Jerome says when I have “THAT SMILE”, watch out because “Molly, You in Danger Girl” (From the movie Ghost).

 

So I simply asked, with THAT Smile, “Well sir, can I have the telephone number of your parent’s?” He said to me puzzled, “My parents are dead, long gone. What THE F*** is it to you?”

 

My foot was in so much pain for what he did to me back there, He used THAT “F” word again,! Oh No, Here it comes!……I staunchly looked at him and said with The Courage of My Convictions, “Well you see, I was hoping they were still alive, because I wanted their telephone number from you."

"So I could call them up and to get the “BLUEPRINTS” TO BUILD MYSELF AN “AS*H*LE“!”

 

Shut him up I did, He scurried off in his scooter. And I wished he would have driven right off the pier I did. Shut him up I did, that miserable piece of poop. No bother. Jerome and I felt that San Juan could be ours now! And it was…….and, we never saw him again on the ship…..Maybe he did drive right off the pier….Hmmmm.

 

Post Script to Part Two: This man in the Rented Rascal. He was the second most Meanest, Nastiest, most Hateful, and not Very Nice person we had met on the ship, and he was a Passenger! We only met Two, Him and The NUMBER ONE Meanest, Nastiest, Most Hateful and Not Very Nice person. Who was an Employee of Celebrity. And Her Name is GUZDA, the “Tuscan Godzilla Monster“! That story is coming in two days! See, I made a Plug for a “Sale”, Coming Soon…..In two days $20 watches and Guzda, the Godzilla Monster of Tuscan!!

 

San Juan Continued………….You are gonna Tinkle!

[AndrewM]

JW, your adventure is getting more and more entertaining with each post. Gonna be so sad when you dock back in Florida.

[cruiseguys2009]

Ohhhh! Mr. Rascal has made me so mad, and I am double limping to boot, on the dock. So, here we are in glorious San Juan. No music, no fanfare, just lots of Coupon Heralding Big Breasted Women, in some sort of "Official" Big Breasted Women Welcoming Committee Uniforms, with a coupon for a What Not and a Who Has and Now How Brown Cow.... etc.

 

We wanted specifically to be able to walk to the Catholic Cathedral and a very kind Police Officer directed us as follows. “Go Straight” (we NEVER go straight, we go GAY-LY FORWARD), “THRU the Sheraton Casino“ , “then“…..(wait a minute, did you say Sheraton CASINO?????) then it was Blah, Blah, Blah after that….I wanted the CASINO!

 

I walked into the Sheraton Casino, which is right across the street from the dock, and I was “Home.” Oh my gosh, a real Casino with REAL slot machines and REAL Casino Host’s and REAL cocktails while gaming, and IT WAS A REAL EXPERIENCE. The Cathedral could wait.....Oh Geez!

 

Okay, I put lots o' bucks in my favorite slot machine, BOMBAY. Two, count ‘em Two, “MAX BET” spins. “DING, DING, DING, DING, DING! I thought, Frick, I am in the USA, and TAXES!!!!!!!! I WON A BONUS AND THAT'S GONNA BE A REAL JACKPOT!.

 

OH YEAH, I WON.....AND THEN, I asked the Casino Host if “I could Play It DOWN” , under the USA “Taxation” Minimum, and was obliged. So I eventually lost (or invested) all my winnings. No Bother. I had a three hour,…..Blast of a Casino good time!…..at The Sheraton Hotel and Casino., right at The Dock!!!!

 

The Sheraton Hotel and Casino asked me to mention to you that The Table Games are located on Deck Two, Three, and Four. Oh, sorry, just “Floors’, not Cruise-Speak, with Decks and all.

 

Though I wanted to be Slot Playing and Gambling on the ship…Tisk, Tisk. I had so much fun at The Sheraton Casino, that I guess the Sheraton Casino People thought I did pretty well. They gave Jerome and I both, a Certificate EACH for an Unlimited Return for FOUR DAYS AND THREE NIGHTS, INCLUDING AIRFARE! Nice, ehh? I guess we did pretty well, at the Land based Casino, indeed we did. Not that the Casino on Celebrity would have noticed. I am just a “Slot Queen“, you know. Tisk, tisk.

[cruiseguys2009]

JW, your adventure is getting more and more entertaining with each post. Gonna be so sad when you dock back in Florida.

 

 

Oh my heaven's, that is weeks away...the Reflection will still be in Europe!

[hansolosmom]

Note to self: Halloween-Drag-Costume-“Mama Mimosa”, think Hat Lady verses Carmen Miranda.

 

We don’t use that word. Even though it has 24 different meanings, I will not lower myself to use it, EVER. AND DON’T USE IT IN MY PRESENCE! I personally know bigger “fifty cent” words than that and will verbally massacre anyone with a “Twelve dollar” phrase. There are “Other” words that I will use. I think Library Lady would be proud.

 

 

Mama Mimosa - love it! ( of course now I have Abba songs stuck in my head)

 

When I worked in Kindergarten we used to call them 'million dollar' words. So feel free to use that $ amount ;)

[Bosjoe]

“Beep, Beep, Beep, Beep” “OW, That’s my foot! DANGIT” I screamed, as a four hundred pound monstrosity of a Raymond Burr (That’s an Ironside Raymond Burr, Jerome) rolls over me, backing out of the elevator. Not the elevator that we just came out of mind you, but the one next to us. Without even looking behind him, his elevator door opened and he briskly backed his “Beep, Beeped” of a rented Rascal right out onto my foot and leg! My good foot, mind you! The entitled SOB did not even say he was “Sorry“, “Oopps“, nothing. Just rudely acknowledge running over me with a loud New York accent raised voice, saying “Why don’t you watch where the (Insert the nasty “F” word here) you’re going!”

 

This is why I use the stairs :) Gotta work off the bacon so it does not make my ass wider!! Plus I been run over by one of those things on Oasis, from behind as I was in one of the shops, and I get the look like its my fault.

[BugsyCruiser]

JW sounds like the guy that ran you over with the scooter is similar to some of my fellow truckers out here on the road :rolleyes: Their driving(?) leaves much to be desired...

 

By the way I saw tinkle! :D

[cruiseguys2009]

Your review needs to come with a warning label...Laughter may cause involuntary urge to tinkle..Excellent job.

 

Did your Christmas house get videotaped for a TV special? I thought I recognized a few of the pictures you posted.

 

If involuntary laughter occurs, that's easily resolved....that wee bit of Tinkle is taken care of......It's called Depends"!

[cruiseguys2009]

Part Four, Shut The Door! Of the Cathedral!

 

More San Juan Martini's and Marshall's and Rosary's and Balloons, OH MY!

 

And there are pictures.......and Lap Dances....!!!! :eek:

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow..................I promise, I will keep you occupied at work, all fricking day. You are gonna secretly be reading Cruise Critic, all the while making vital business decisions! .........Auntie JW will guide you.

 

So now, with love from the JW & "Jerome-ardashian" family! Oh my gosh, wait until you smell the fragrance we discovered........

 

......."Webitchinghour!" Coming in four days!

[Emiliqua]

Wow - wow - wow! I can't wait for more! Thanks for your amazingly entertaining review.

[cazzi]

Part Four, Shut The Door! Of the Cathedral!

 

More San Juan Martini's and Marshall's and Rosary's and Balloons, OH MY!

 

And there are pictures.......and Lap Dances....!!!! :eek:

 

 

 

 

Tomorrow..................I promise, I will keep you occupied at work, all fricking day. You are gonna secretly be reading Cruise Critic, all the while making vital business decisions! .........Auntie JW will guide you.

 

So now, with love from the JW & "Jerome-ardashian" family! Oh my gosh, wait until you smell the fragrance we discovered........

 

......."Webitchinghour!" Coming in four days!

 

Thank you Auntie JW!! I so love this review thanks for time put into this review:)

[cruiseguys2009]

Mama Mimosa - love it! ( of course now I have Abba songs stuck in my head)

 

When I worked in Kindergarten we used to call them 'million dollar' words. So feel free to use that $ amount ;)

 

 

Abba! Mama Mimosa....great correlation! Great minds think alike!