Vent - My BFF is driving me CRAZY!

[Tantra1]

I hope to hear soon that your friend's mom gets to feeling better and your friend decides to go on the cruise after all. It certainly more fun when you can share with someone especially someone you are close to. Her anxiety may subside in a few more days so try not to be too hasty and cancel her trip with the cruise line. It isn't necessary and she may change her mind and go anyway.

 

Cheers!

[cruise_pirate]

I'd be furious since he brought it on by resuming smoking! Did you have cruise insurance that covered pre-existing conditions? Did you still go on the cruise?

 

Yes we had insurance, doctor said he would be fine just had to stay in the hospital for about a week. My wife and I ended up going. FIL was told to give up the smokes, MIL stayed behind with him. We ended up buying her a room on our fall cruise ( much better deal for her)! FIL laid off the smokes. Well for awhile any ways. Quit for 5 months and guess what started back up last month. :( got the insurance again on MIL

 

 

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[DebbyDee]

Depending on her mother's general medical condition and age, there may be every reason she would feel more comfortable staying home with her. Ribs can take a long time to heal and if she is elderly or in bad shape the mother may need help with things that's she's more comfortable having her daughter help with. Also, I think elderly with broken ribs also become more susceptible to pneumonia. Maybe a dr or nurse could weigh in on that. It really may be more important that she stay and be with her ailing mother, than go party on a cruise with you, even if it is free.

 

These were my thoughts exactly. Also, I imagine her BFF's family members might also be laying a guilt-trip on her for going on a cruise while Mom is recuperating.

 

However, all that being said, I wish I had a BFF just like you! ;)

[Seago2]

I think she's getting gun shy about the extra costs. The cruise is paid for. It could be that she literally has nooooo extra money and she doesn't want to ask you for walking around money, you know? ;)

 

All good suggestions on here. I would make it clear that she won't have to pay for anything (OMG I hope she gets you back one day!) and tell her you'll hand her some amount of spending money, that kind of thing. Talking about excursions and things can really add up ($$$ $$$) in the eyes of someone who is broke. She may not even realize she's using her Mom's issues as an excuse.

 

Good luck!!

[cynt]

Hi there, Cynt. I hope that your friend change her mind about going. I'm currently caring for my mom who was diagnosed last year with pancreatic cancer and had surgery, currently in remission. My father was diagnosed last April with prostate cancer that has spread to his bones (in addition to dialysis 3 times a week). If offered a free a cruise at this moment I will have my bags packed before the sentence was completed. Come on San Antonio!

 

Hugs to you!!! I've experienced caring for a sick parent. It's tough. More hugs for you!!

[cynt]

I think your friend just had a knee-jerk guilt reaction to her mom a being sick. I don't think it's against you at all...though I feel your frustration! I'm sure it will work out in the end either way.

 

From a medical pov..yes broken ribs can lead to pneumonia...mostly cause people don't take deep enough breaths and cough enough to clear bacteria from the lungs due to pain. Also, simple uti's can be a bit more serious in the elderly because the infection goes to the blood more easily. That being said...she'll probably be just fine...but your friend is not a complete goof for worrying.

 

I hope everything turns out great and y'all have a fabulous time. If not, I'm happy to fill in for her. We just gotta get back in time for me to take my brats on their cruise July 6. And we'll have to see if your friend will watch them while we're gone.:D

 

Pack your bags Ang LOL!! My other Bestie lives in Houston you can drop the kids off there. LOL!!

[cynt]

I think she's getting gun shy about the extra costs. The cruise is paid for. It could be that she literally has nooooo extra money and she doesn't want to ask you for walking around money, you know? ;)

 

All good suggestions on here. I would make it clear that she won't have to pay for anything (OMG I hope she gets you back one day!) and tell her you'll hand her some amount of spending money, that kind of thing. Talking about excursions and things can really add up ($$$ $$$) in the eyes of someone who is broke. She may not even realize she's using her Mom's issues as an excuse.

 

Good luck!!

 

You might be right. I'll keep this in mind when I talk to her. She's cruised before so she knows she can cruise and spend zero $$ if need be. I'm paying for the tips and excursions. We only have the one stop in Cozumel. She doesn't drink nor gamble. This is really just a relaxing get away for the both of us.

[jimdalva]

I'm not sure but I've read here that someone canceled their room mate and did not get a refund and then was charged the single supplement. So instead of paying for 2 they paid for 3.

[scm200]

I'm not sure but I've read here that someone canceled their room mate and did not get a refund and then was charged the single supplement. So instead of paying for 2 they paid for 3.

 

i think the way to do it is not say anything and just board, then if the 2nd person does not arrive they refund the taxes and port fees...at least thats what i have read in the past...

[RuthlessBoss]

I'm not sure but I've read here that someone canceled their room mate and did not get a refund and then was charged the single supplement. So instead of paying for 2 they paid for 3.

That's possible. Just don't cancel, let it be a no show.

[jsfromsc]

I wouldn't think twice about accepting a free cruise. Do you have other friends who'd be willing to take her place? I can understand concern about a parent, too, but we're talking about 4 days here, and you're right about 2 weeks being plenty of time for the mom to mend, unless she's quite elderly. Any chance your friend is trying to spoil your plans out of jealousy? I honestly can't imagine turning down a vacation that is already paid for and letting a friend lose that money. If I were in her position, and I really felt strongly about staying with my mother, I would offer to pay back the cost of the cruise in increments I could afford.

 

OP, I hope this all works out for you and that you have a fantastic time on your cruise.

[INCHARGE]

If you have to, go alone and have fun, but don't be too angry with your friend. Ask questions about how her mom is doing, and ask her why she feels she needs to stay. There just may be a reason she has not told you yet. Too many people have lost friendships because of not talking things through. Once she tells you, explain to her how you feel. Hopefully she will be able to go. She may be just panicking because she is not sure of the extent of her mother's injury herself.

[cynt]

I wouldn't think twice about accepting a free cruise. Do you have other friends who'd be willing to take her place? I can understand concern about a parent, too, but we're talking about 4 days here, and you're right about 2 weeks being plenty of time for the mom to mend, unless she's quite elderly. Any chance your friend is trying to spoil your plans out of jealousy? I honestly can't imagine turning down a vacation that is already paid for and letting a friend lose that money. If I were in her position, and I really felt strongly about staying with my mother, I would offer to pay back the cost of the cruise in increments I could afford.

 

OP, I hope this all works out for you and that you have a fantastic time on your cruise.

 

Most of my friends have kids and it's impossible to get away on short notice during the holidays. She's one of my single friends so it's quick and easy to plan things with her. I'm OK cruising alone. I plan on having a blast w/ or w/out her. I just wanted to party w/ my BESTIE!!

[cynt]

If you have to, go alone and have fun, but don't be too angry with your friend. Ask questions about how her mom is doing, and ask her why she feels she needs to stay. There just may be a reason she has not told you yet. Too many people have lost friendships because of not talking things through. Once she tells you, explain to her how you feel. Hopefully she will be able to go. She may be just panicking because she is not sure of the extent of her mother's injury herself.

 

Yes, I'm definitely keeping in touch with her about her mom. This will not cost us this friendship. We have been through it all and still standing strong. Ship happens!!:D I know she's not doing it on purpose. This is just something else we can talk about when we're in our 80s rocking in our rocking chairs on the porch. Girl do you remember when...

[INCHARGE]

Most of my friends have kids and it's impossible to get away on short notice during the holidays. She's one of my single friends so it's quick and easy to plan things with her. I'm OK cruising alone. I plan on having a blast w/ or w/out her. I just wanted to party w/ my BESTIE!!

 

Don't count her out yet. I have a feeling that once you talk to her, she is going to go. :) You have got to keep us informed, because now we want to know if she will go or not.

[Cruisin'Lovebirds]

We're here to listen and sympathize - what a nice gesture, to put "time together" above who has the resources to pay for what at this particular moment. I say, don't cancel. If she's a no-show, you will spend less money.

 

If Mom feels better and realizes that BFF wants to give up this trip, she may send her with you with her best wishes!

 

Do whatever you have to do to keep a treasured friend. Inquire about her mom and discuss the cruise a little later.

[retiredgram]

Hope the OP returns to let us know how things worked out.

[RuthlessBoss]

Yes, I'm definitely keeping in touch with her about her mom. This will not cost us this friendship. We have been through it all and still standing strong. Ship happens!!:D I know she's not doing it on purpose. This is just something else we can talk about when we're in our 80s rocking in our rocking chairs on the porch. Girl do you remember when...

Friendship is friendship, I know. But, if it were me, there still would be some resentment. You were kind enough to pay for the friend's cruise. If it had not been to include her, I doubt if the cruise would have been booked in the first place (as a solo) and with your money. It's very easy for someone to back out when he/she has no personal money invested, as seen in this case.

I know there is some degree of concern about her mother's health, but, it's not like it occurred a day or two prior to the cruise. If she had money invested, still has 2 weeks to see progress, she'd make alternate arrangements, she'd go.

There is more to this than she's telling you or what you are revealing to us.

[cynt]

Well the verdict is in I'm traveling SOLO!! She's really concerned about her mom and her mom's health. Her mom has had some complications with her health. She officially cancelled her plans to go on the cruise. Thanks for everyone's concern. I'm bummed about her decision but I'm OK.

 

Now I'm excited all over again because this will be a new adventure for me cruising SOLO. It's been over 10 years since my last solo cruise. Chef's table, fun tour, I've always wanted to book back to back to back spa appointments so I could have a whole day and evening in the spa. KING BED!!! So to say the least I'm over it.:D I know her and when she first said she might cancel I knew she probably would because she's very careful with her words. She's still my BESTIE and life goes on. :)

[dulcimergirl]

Well, I know she would want you to go and have a ton of fun for her also. Enjoy your solo cruise, meet new people, do new things!

Let us know when you return how it went.

:)

[INCHARGE]

Well the verdict is in I'm traveling SOLO!! She's really concerned about her mom and her mom's health. Her mom has had some complications with her health. She officially cancelled her plans to go on the cruise. Thanks for everyone's concern. I'm bummed about her decision but I'm OK.

 

Now I'm excited all over again because this will be a new adventure for me cruising SOLO. It's been over 10 years since my last solo cruise. Chef's table, fun tour, I've always wanted to book back to back to back spa appointments so I could have a whole day and evening in the spa. KING BED!!! So to say the least I'm over it.:D I know her and when she first said she might cancel I knew she probably would because she's very careful with her words. She's still my BESTIE and life goes on. :)

 

Did you officially cancel her, or will you let her be a "no show?" Weren't others saying if she is a no show, you will get the tax and fees back from her booking?

 

Have a good cruise, and we want a review when you get back. Many Solo cruisers have the best reviews. Do your thing, and have a ball.

[Seago2]

Well the verdict is in I'm traveling SOLO!! She's really concerned about her mom and her mom's health. Her mom has had some complications with her health. She officially cancelled her plans to go on the cruise. Thanks for everyone's concern. I'm bummed about her decision but I'm OK.

 

Now I'm excited all over again because this will be a new adventure for me cruising SOLO. It's been over 10 years since my last solo cruise. Chef's table, fun tour, I've always wanted to book back to back to back spa appointments so I could have a whole day and evening in the spa. KING BED!!! So to say the least I'm over it.:D I know her and when she first said she might cancel I knew she probably would because she's very careful with her words. She's still my BESTIE and life goes on. :)

 

Good for you!! And you can always thank her for agreeing to go because if she hadn't you probably wouldn't have booked. Cruises are really cheap right now, you know you got a good deal, and we don't know if we'll ever see these prices again. Chances are that if she agreed to go in two years AND paid her share you'd still be paying as much as you are now for the whole cruise. So go and enjoy it! I've done it almost solo- alone with a teenager who was off on his own with the kids club all the time. It's a little lonely at times- I ate a LOT- I also read six books so bring more than you think you'll read. I took some selfies of that time and I can't even believe I was ever, ever that relaxed. I mean not a line in my face! So go and have fun- case closed.

[D4]

Thank you for letting us know the outcome. Many of us get drawn into interesting posts and often never find out how things worked out.

 

Enjoy your solo cruise.

[RuthlessBoss]

It will still be enjoyable to make every decision by yourself with no strings attached. I've always met people who were friendly.

My only curse going solo is meals, so I usually go to the buffet.

Whatever you do, DON'T cancel her reservation. You'll lose her entire fare and then get charged again for going solo.

[Josher61]

Completely off the OP's topic but sort of related...as dining solo may now apply to her as well:)

 

"My only curse going solo is meals, so I usually go to the buffet"

 

This made me sad :( I know my experiences and personality are exactly that and may not suit you but I would encourage you to try going to the MDR even if dining solo.

 

I have always been a person who enjoys dining alone; be it at a small local pub or a top of the line steakhouse so for me being on a cruise solo is no different. I truly enjoy relaxing with my book, being served and sipping a nice glass of wine. I take myself out to dinner frequently. Married or not, I always have been this way :) So on a cruise that is a big part of my enjoyment. I also make reservations at the steakhouse each trip. One trip I ate up there 3 times I enjoyed it so much. I know dining solo isn't for everyone and perhaps out of many a persons "comfort zone", but for me solo dining is actually something I never even think twice about it.

 

You can speak with the Maitre D and request a large table, preferably with other solos at it as well so that you don't feel like the only person who isn't part of a couple or if you prefer to be alone (like me) a table for 2 works well. I prefer the table for 2 so that I can eat in peace and read or people watch at my whim, not feeling forced to make conversation. Frequently neighbouring tables strike up conversations with me and I feel the liberty to converse as short or long with them as I like :) Once I was placed at a table for 4 and although I ate my dinner with that lovely couple the first night I asked to be switched to a table for 2 on my way out. I had already explained to them that although I enjoyed our conversation, I felt that it would be nicer for them to be able to dine alone without me "tagging along". That was NOT what I wanted to do. A table for 4 was not working for me :) That was my only "bad" experience if you can call it that....something I would NOT have done all week long!

 

So, I urge you to give it a try if you can or wish to....you may be surprised. I just felt bad when you posted that and felt like perhaps you were missing out on what can be (and definitely is to me) one of the enjoyable aspects of a cruise. I hate to think that you aren't going to the MDR only because you are solo. Happy sailing whatever you do :)