How to cruise with another couple?

[S&S Cruisers 1983]

DW and I have been on five cruises and have always had a cruising couple or two travel with us.

 

We establish some really easy rules from the very beginning.

 

1. We share our main meal time with our cruising companion couple(s).

2. If we see you for breakfast, we will always plan to join you or you join us.

3. Lunch is always a "hit or miss" affair depending upon whether it is an "at sea" or "in port" day.

4. We always try to book adjoining balcony cabins.

5. "Night clubbing" on the ship is always a planned event; as is time in the ship's various adult beverage venues.

6. Shore time is always discussed as a group ahead of time but it is most likely that our cruising couples might want to do something a tad bit different than we do. We will spent shore time together if our interests coincide but it is not always a must for shore time.

 

The rules have worked for 5 cruises without a single hitch

 

Marty

 

 

ra, a

 

I agree with the Livesteamer, except we book cabins on opposite sides of the ship so we can run back and forth as to not miss a thing. Or, if there is something special to see on one side, we can go over to the other couples balcony or them to ours. :D:D

[welshperson]

We have cruised twice with another couple and we have had adjoining cabins with adjoining balconies. Our only 'rule' is that we meet on the balcony at 5 pm for a glass of wine, then we go to dinner together. After dinner we go together to a show or play cards etc. We may or may not meet at breakfast, we may or may not go on the same shore excursions. Everything is flexible but not the 5pm glass of wine (or two!).

 

Happy cruising

[SeagoingMom]

If ... your travel companions are whiny, clingy, needy and not able to be spontaneous and joyful....well, bummer.

Thanks for all the insight you provided. Happily, we will not have to worry about the above point you made -- my DS and BIL are exactly the opposite of what you describe. They are really laid back.

[Kathie44]

My late DH and I cruises twice with my HS friend and her husband, with whom we had been friends with for years. We went to Alaska in '03 and Brit. Isles/Nor Fjords in '06. We did the same excursions and ate together every night. They had different interests during the day, so we did our own things. It was no problem and we had great cruises both times.

Since DH passed away almost 5 yrs ago I have cruised with friends and family. The last two winters I have cruised with 3 other friends and this year with my cousin. As before, we did the same excursions and ate dinner together. Sometimes, they met me at one of my trivia games, but also did their own things. Usually we all went to the shows. We sometimes ate the other meals together, but not always. We never had a problem, because, as the "leader" (they were all more or less newbies), I told them our time was wide open and we were all free to do whatever. They have all been compatible cruisemates. I wouldn't have asked them otherwise.

We have another cruise booked for Jan. 26 on Silhouette. Things are kind of up in the air, due to my cousin's health problems, but my SIL said she might be able to fill in if I need another roommate. She and I did 2 cruises together in '09 and '11.

I think cruising with others is even more fun and hope to keep doing it.

[NSAHO79]

We cruised with my BIL and his wife last year and it was the first time we had cruised with any other people. It worked out very well since it was their first time cruising and we could offer lots of advise. We went on excursions together because we all wanted to go to the beach and we also went to several of the shows but we hardly ever had a meal together because we prefered the buffet and they liked to eat in the main dining room. We also had totally different schedules since we are early risers and they liked to sleep in. Basically we just left messages and met up when we found something we all wanted to do. We played shuffleboard and went bowling and we all had a wonderful time. The biggest thing is to talk about things beforehand and then only do the basic planning. After all it is a vacation. Have fun.

[livvysgram]

My husband and I began cruising by ourselves. Lately we have cruised with a few other couples sometimes up to 5 couples. Our only rule is to meet for a drink before dinner, and then have dinner together. Sometimes we run in to each other by the pool or at an event and sit together then, but we are never "joined at the hip". We've always had a great time, either cruising alone or with others. We are cruising to Bermuda in Oct. with my brother and his girlfriend on the Explorer of the Seas and then in November on the Azamara Quest with 3 other couples. Just Be flexible and enjoy yourselves!

[kayakkidvlgs]

We've often cruised with friends and the beauty of a cruise is the flexibility to do your own thing. If we are with more than one couple, we usually set up a time to meet for breakfast and discuss everyone's plans for the day. Generally, everyone has made their own arrangements and we meet up again at dinner. The only time we cruised with just us and another couple, we did make arrangements to do some side trips together but for all practical purposes, we agreed that we could each "do our own thing" and we'd meet at a certain place for cocktails and dinner each night and the shows afterward. It worked out great and both couples had a wonderful cruise.

[Ergates The Ant]

A friend has just returned from a cruise with her husband, his sister and her husband. They booked balcony cabins on opposite sides of the ship and as a previous poster said, were able to benefit from views from both sides of the ship.

[dixi_lynn]

We have cruised 3 times with my brother/sister-in-law. We travel together and board the ship together. We have always booked adjacent balcony rooms and open the balcony divider to share that space. We have set dining and meet up at diner (unless a couple has made other plans). We go our own ways during the day and frequently run into each other on board. We may or may not do similar excursions. But, when we are at our cabins we usually check to see if the other couple might be out on the balcony, and we often met there after a busy day on shore or just before dinner while cleaning up. We'd share a glass of wine together and discuss our days adventures. We never felt "stuck" with each other, just did our own thing.

Next cruise will be by ourselves (unless someone changes their minds and joins us).

[Jimnbigd]

As many others have said...During the day everyone does his/her own thing, especially on sea days. It's surprising how often we would run into the other couples anyway. At night, we would meet. When we've had late dining, often the theater show would be before dinner, and we would meet somewhere about 30 minutes before showtime. With early dining we would just meet at dinner, the go to the show (after dinner) as a group. We would usually email each other about shore excursions, and book them in advance when possible. Also, the couples were coming from different parts of the country. So, we usually booked a hotel near the airport with free airport shuttle service. Each couple got the hotel on their own. Then we took a chartered limo or shuttle to the cruise. Tip: On formal nights, give yourselves some extra time for group photos.

[nomarfan5]

There were a couple of posts that I had to check to see if I knew the poster because our experiences were so similar. With the exception of one cruise we have always cruised with a group and we enjoy it for the most part - we actually missed everyone on our solo cruise. The group has changed over the years with it being mostly family in the beginning to now being an even mix of friends and family. For the most part it works out fine but we have learned lessons as the group dynamics have changed. Now that my in-laws are cruising with us and there are boundary issues with them, we refuse to tell them what cabin we are in because they'll book right next to us (if possible) and any sense of privacy I hope to have on my balcony would be gone (again the boundary issues) - learned this the hard way. Like another poster experienced, the in-laws get very offended if they aren't included in everything. The last cruise we had to swear everyone else to secrecy just so DH and I could go on a romantic sunset cruise WITHOUT the in-laws. They just would not go off and do anything by themselves, even on the ship. I'm going to take everyone's advice and we'll get together as a group and have the "talk" about doing things on your own and not suffocating your fellow vacationers.

 

There really are so many positives to cruising with others that they outweigh any negatives. Such as having a group of people to share the excitement with when traveling to the port. I love when everyone does something different during the day and we all get to hear about everyone's adventures at dinner (we always link our reservations for dinner). DH loves to sit by the pool all day when we are at sea so he always has someone to hang out with and I always have someone to go to activities with. And since our rooms are scattered about (but on the same deck) we have a private place to go back to when we just need to get away from everyone. Pretty much everyone we cruise with doesn't mind dressing up for formal night so we take lots of pictures.

 

Thanks to everyone for their insight on having the "talk". :)

[SeagoingMom]

Now that my in-laws are cruising with us and there are boundary issues with them, we refuse to tell them what cabin we are in because they'll book right next to us (if possible) and any sense of privacy I hope to have on my balcony would be gone (again the boundary issues) - learned this the hard way. Like another poster experienced, the in-laws get very offended if they aren't included in everything. The last cruise we had to swear everyone else to secrecy just so DH and I could go on a romantic sunset cruise WITHOUT the in-laws. :)

You poor dear!

 

OK, you have just reconfirmed for me my decision never to cruise with my in-laws -- well MIL, anyway! And I guess I had better make sure they never learn my CC nickname, nor ever even learn that I am a member of CC because they might stumble across something I've posted that would identify us. :eek:

 

I know with certainty that my DS/BIL (with whom we are contemplating cruising, as per my OP) will not be that clingy, so DH and I will be able to breathe, at least, and not feel like we have to be working undercover (although there is a certain romantic element to the idea of all that sneaking around, I think...;))

[SeagoingMom]

Thanks to everyone for their insight on having the "talk". :)

Of course, this term has a very different connotation for me than what is understood in this context -- we have raised five sons, so, at least for my husband, referring to having "the talk" (which he has had five times :o), would be very off-putting!

 

If you get my drift... ;)

[olemissreb]

One year my family of 4, my sister's family of 5, and our mother all shared a condo in Hilton Head. After that, we decided that while we would vacation at the same time, it would be in our own condos and we would do our own things. Since then, it's worked out great! My sister and I will call each other in the morning and talk about what each family has planned to do and then we either decide we'll meet up because we have similar things planned or we'll just do our own things and then meet up for lunch or dinner. We have the best times!

 

Three years ago, we asked my in-laws to join us on a cruise. They happened to get a cabin on the opposite side of the ship from us - they wanted to be close to their grandsons and got lucky that there was a cabin that close. I told my MIL what excursions we had planned and asked it they wanted to join us - her answer was no as most of them were too active for their 70yo bodies. She did like the idea of snorkeling in St. Thomas though so they joined us for that. Our one standing rule was that we meet up for dinner every night. It worked out great! We had a fantastic week cruising the Southern Caribbean!

 

This summer, we took my mom with us to Alaska. Since mom was a solo traveler, we had her in the connecting room with our sons (she was listed as the 3rd in the room so she got a discounted rate and she's a senior so another discount on top of that!). When talking with mom, she decided to do all the same excursions we did and that was fine. I figured she'd do that, so I planned things with all of us in mind and tried to keep costs down too. We had a wonderful week! Mom is still talking about it to all her friends! We spent a lot of time together on board ship too - great bonding time.

 

Now all this being said - if we are sailing with another couple or family, we'll all do our own things and discuss it over dinner unless there is something that all of us really want to do together. If sailing with a solo traveler like my mom, then we'll do things together.

 

You are on the right path in planning to discuss things with your sister prior to cruising. Get it all in the open that way there are no hard feelings during or after the cruise.

[pig13432]

:mad:

I checked on the Family Cruising board dont do it??to see if there were any threads on this topic, but that board seems mostly oriented to families with children.

 

I would like to hear from folks who have cruised with one or two other couples (no children.) My husband and I are considering a cruise with my sister and her husband. We all like each other and get along well, but DH and I have never before cruise with anyone, and we wonder about the logistics. DH and I have cruised so far to have romantic get-aways, but have also felt that it might be fun to have some company, as this cruise would provide.

 

For those of you who have cruised with one or maybe two other couples (relatives or friends), how did you work out things like meeting up, how much time to spend together, cabin choices (proximity or no? adjoining or no?), planning excursions, fixed or anytime dining, communicating with each other, etc.?

 

I am not even sure what questions to ask, so I will let ya'll fire away with any insight you may think would help us.

 

The only thing I know at this point is that it sounds like my sister and her husband would not be going on the same sorts of excursions, generally, as DH and I would be -- they seem to have different interests than ours in most ports.

 

I want to figure out how to spend enough time together without spending too much time together! Needless to say, I want all of our relationships to be as good or better after the cruise than before!

[DaveyCaper]

The first cruise my DW and I went on was with my best friend and his wife. They had already booked and we thought about it awhile so we were not exactly next to them cabin-wise (but I think we were only 4 cabins away).

 

They don't live in the same town but we did get together before the vacation and chose some excursions and port activities we would all enjoy. As it turned out, we did not go with them on the last port (St. Thomas) because they were going to Megan's Bay and by that point we had enough of beaches.

 

We had fixed seating and of course set up that we were at a table together (as it turned out with a third couple that they went to Megan's Bay with). It was early seating. After dinner, we would then normally go to the various activities together until they decided to go to bed (we are much more the night owls).

 

We rarely saw them at breakfast because they would rise earlier but with that cruise being very port intensive (only one port day) we would set a place and time to meet (though one day the meeting place was a ferry to Virgin Gorda from Tortola and we BARELY made it LOL)

 

If we needed to communicate we usually left notes in the outside mail slot and it all worked very well! I think we may have called a few times as well. It was this cruise that have started us on this wonderful obsession and I have great memories of that cruise. We haven't cruised again with them yet because they started having kids shortly after and it just wasn't possible from them at this point but we will cruise with them again - we just won't be newbies anymore!!

[SeagoingMom]

:mad:

If your post was meant to say that we should not "sleep together and do everything together" -- don't worry, no chance of that. But "going together?" ... that's the point, isn't it...

 

Thanks for your input ... I think?

[nomarfan5]

You poor dear!

 

OK, you have just reconfirmed for me my decision never to cruise with my in-laws -- well MIL, anyway! And I guess I had better make sure they never learn my CC nickname, nor ever even learn that I am a member of CC because they might stumble across something I've posted that would identify us. :eek:

 

I know with certainty that my DS/BIL (with whom we are contemplating cruising, as per my OP) will not be that clingy, so DH and I will be able to breathe, at least, and not feel like we have to be working undercover (although there is a certain romantic element to the idea of all that sneaking around, I think...;))

 

LOL - if DH and I were together, it was kind of fun doing the sneaking around. We hid out in the Windjammer at the bar one afternoon and had the best time just the two of us. DH is convinced that his mother planted a tracking device on him so she could find him at all times. It really is a lot of fun with the right group of people. Sounds like your DS/BIL would be great to cruise with.

 

And boy did you make me laugh about the "talk". I didn't think of it that way and now I can't stop laughing. :o

[SeagoingMom]

 

And boy did you make me laugh about the "talk". I didn't think of it that way and now I can't stop laughing. :o

See, I have the opposite problem -- I can't NOT think about it that way! :o But I'm laughing, too, so that's good!

[tbmrt]

Our friends are wonderful year round, but there is a world of difference in our vacation preferences.

 

We love to take early adventuresome excursions including snorkeling and sightseeing, do just a bit of shopping and then head back to the ship to relax on our balcony. We spend minimal time poolside except for sea days.

 

They prefer to get up later and spend most days socializing at the poolside bars. We live in Florida and can do this at home!

 

They enjoy taking lots of group pictures onboard and we could care less about that. Having all of us meet at a certain time at a certain location doesn't work for us.

 

They like to be the first at the evening shows, sit in the first row and wait for them to start....We like to get there just a bit before showtime.

 

It's also hard to change plans last minute if you feel like the buffet or a specialty restaurant if "everyone" had already planned to meet at dinner.

 

Besides, we enjoy meeting people from other states/countries onboard and on the various excursions.

 

We did "the talk" beforehand about let's do our own thing, etc., but then felt guilty about not being with them in their pictures, having them hold seats at the shows for us even though we said not to, being the only two in the group to "do our own thing", etc.

 

Love my friends, but guess we're just not cut out to travel with them!

Barbara

[SeagoingMom]

Our friends are wonderful year round, but there is a world of difference in our vacation preferences.

 

We love to take early adventuresome excursions including snorkeling and sightseeing, do just a bit of shopping and then head back to the ship to relax on our balcony. We spend minimal time poolside except for sea days.

 

They prefer to get up later and spend most days socializing at the poolside bars. We live in Florida and can do this at home!

 

They enjoy taking lots of group pictures onboard and we could care less about that. Having all of us meet at a certain time at a certain location doesn't work for us.

 

They like to be the first at the evening shows, sit in the first row and wait for them to start....We like to get there just a bit before showtime.

 

It's also hard to change plans last minute if you feel like the buffet or a specialty restaurant if "everyone" had already planned to meet at dinner.

 

Besides, we enjoy meeting people from other states/countries onboard and on the various excursions.

 

We did "the talk" beforehand about let's do our own thing, etc., but then felt guilty about not being with them in their pictures, having them hold seats at the shows for us even though we said not to, being the only two in the group to "do our own thing", etc.

 

Love my friends, but guess we're just not cut out to travel with them!

Barbara

Thanks for the "review." You have obviously found out that even what most folks consider the ideal plan for traveling with others doesn't suit you -- at least not with these friends! I hope you enjoyed your "group" cruise in spite of these issues, but presumably the only way for you to have learned what you learned was to have done what you did! So I am still intending to travel with DS and BIL -- but I think we'll do a 4 or 5 night (read "short") cruise , just in case, to test the waters.

 

One specific thing I hope I learned from you -- I will try my best to not feel guilty about doing whatever was agreed to during the "talk," even if once on board our traveling companions change their minds and pressure me to go against what was previously agreed upon.

[Smokeyham]

Great ideas here… and I agree with the idea of setting up clear expectations in advance. Two experiences I learned from:

 

I went on a cruise with a couple my age, and two sets of their parents. The couple had not originally intended to have the various parents come on this, but the parents learned of the plans and had wanted to come along. I did not get to meet the parents before the cruise so we didn't get a chance to talk about different expectations.

Mostly it was fine, but if the parents “found” me at breakfast they felt they really had to join me, and I quite enjoy just having my breakfast alone, with a good book. Second was that the expectation was that the whole group would have dinner together every night, so I did not get to spend time with just my friends. It wasn't too bad, but I did learn that I need to be clearer in advance with anyone I cruise with.

 

My second experience was with a group of 13 of us in Alaska. They are all good travelling companions, and we are all clear with each other that we were not joined at the hip. We settled on a pattern where we informally would get together each evening for a drink, and you could join if you wanted to, or not. We ended up having most dinners together as well, which was fun, but on some evenings some of the group wanted to try different restaurants and that worked out fine. We used the voice mail system on board, and would just leave messages about the time and location where we were meeting.

 

One thing that the friend and I who were travelling together had not discussed before that cruise was the impact that travelling with other people as a group would have on our time together. We have been on a number of trips together before by ourselves, but travelling with a group changed the dynamics. Now we had to factor in what others were doing, and whether we each wanted to do the “group” activity. This did lead to some misunderstandings since expectations were a bit different for each of us. Lesson learned for us is talk about how we will work with a group dynamic if we do something similar in the future.

[kcwingwalker]

Hi - we went on a cruise with my mother, brother and SIL (and their daughter) two years ago. And are planning to cruise in August with 4 other couples.

 

Our 'rule' is that we meet up at dinner, so we have fixed dining. Otherwise, we are all on our own. We choose shore excursions and have some we all want, some only a few do. We know we'll probably run into each other, and make plans during the day, but it's up to each of us.

 

My best advice is to talk it out ahead of time.

 

We don't have any adjoining cabins, and we all did guarantees since we didn't care how close we were to each other.

 

Your plan is a good one. Did something similar and we all had a good time.

[Gail & Marty sailing away]

We have don it a few times it is so so OK

[margeecruiser]

We are sailing with friends and neighbors and will not do every activity together. We are driving to the airport, are staying at the same hotel a few days in Rome with tours before the cruise and doing several private tours with our neighbors, but not dining together once on the ship. They like MTD, where they can eat earlier than we do. We like late seating in the MDR and we dress formally with gown and tux on formal nights; they are strictly casual folks. We will have cocktails many times together and hang out when we can. We will eat with some other friends in specialty restaurants on occasion. We know our friends well enough to know they need their space. They know they can find us in Vintages or the Champaign Bar in the evening. We don't plan every minute on board ship, but this is a B2B with very heavy port touring for the first week in the Med then 2 weeks TA with lots of sea days, so a real varied trip.

 

We make friends easily and don't have to have our friends with us all the time. We respect that everyone has their own social style and it's all good.

 

Margee