How to cruise with another couple?

[SeagoingMom]

We must be different than most of the posters on this thread. We always cruise with friends and family. Our upcoming cruise will be our 5th cruise together. Not everyone has been on all of the cruises. But most of us. This time there are 16 of us cruising together. We have always gotten side by side balcony cabins. We ask the Steward to open the balcony doors. We usually have our coffee on the balcony's and discuss what everyones plans are for the day. We usually do most excursions together but not always. We sometimes dine together. I guess what works for us is that no one has expectations of what others should be doing. We all get along great and enjoy being together. Our one unbreakable rule is if the curtains are closed on the balcony door: DO NOT DISTURB! ;)

I figured that the dynamics of cruising with a large group would be different than those of a small group (two couples.) My husband and I are getting our feet wet by trying out the idea of two other traveling companions -- the concept of cruising with a group as big as yours, which in my case would be my husband's family (about the same size), gives me the willies! I am glad it works out well for you! I am afraid there would have too many "bosses" if my husband's whole family cruised together. :(

[Beachdude]

I agree with what everyone is saying, but "go with the flow" was a really good suggestion. Sometimes things don't go they way we want and going with the flow is sometime required to make sure the rest of the vacation goes well.

 

Burt

[DSXM]

Did a Bermuda cruise out of NJ a couple of years back with another couple. We didn't book adjoining rooms but did request to be seated together at dinner. If it was a port day, we generally did our own thing during the day and caught up at dinner and went to shows, night clubs, and deck parties together. If we were at sea, we would find chairs all together by the adults only pool and make that our home base for the day. Sometimes we did lunch together, sometimes we didn't. Sometimes we did on board activities together (trivia, games, etc.) and sometimes we didn't. Breakfast was generally separate - morning isn't the best time for some people.

 

It was a good experience and our friendship did not suffer from it.

[SeagoingMom]

Here's a link to a previous thread on this topic:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=1859658

 

Lots of good information, though most of it is similar to what you're getting here.

 

Thanks for the link -- somehow I missed that when I perused the boards before starting a new thread. I knew the topic must have been addressed somewhere, at some time, but never noticed this. (I also find the search function on CC so frustrating that I probably gave up on it before noticing the other thread.)

 

Much to my surprise, most posters (on both threads) emphasize so much the idea that folks should not expect to spend very much time together on board that I am beginning to wonder why folks cruise with others -- seems they might as well vacation separately and call each other or skype. Reading the experiences of others who have actually done what I am contemplating makes me a little concerned that a two-couples cruise will not be exactly what I thought it might be...

 

So I guess I just need to confirm with my DS and BIL exactly what their desires are, and see if they match up with ours.

[HeatherC430]

This past January, my DH & I had another couple join us. It was actually a surprise to my DH that one of his best friends (and his gf) were cruising with us. We had just board and were at the Atrium bar when his friend snuck up behind him and surprised him! Other than our wedding cruise (which we had about 10 people cruise with us - and we barely saw anyone), all other cruises prior to this had been just the two of us. One of the large benefits of having them with us was it tended to be more of a party every night! Drinking more (luckily we had the Cheers package), staying up later, etc.

 

We had separate dining times (We had anytime while the other couple had late seating). Several times upon asking, they were able to join us at anytime dining which was nice. So we had a mix of eating alone & eating together. We did specialty dining together the last night of the cruise.

 

Excursions: They did 3 of the 4 excursions with us we had planned. They didn't have the money for excursions so my DH & I paid for them. The one day we did our own excursion, we met up with them at the beach afterwards.

 

Because the other couple booked much later than ours (basically my DH's friend found out we were cruising and wanted to surprise my DH) so they were on complete opposite ends of the ship. Often times this made it difficult to meetup, so we'd call each other's room and pick a common place on Lido or somewhere to meetup. We also bought a set of walkie talkies onboard which helped too. If doing it again, getting cabins that were close (but not connecting) would have been the way to go.

 

In conclusion, my DH & I would probably prefer that it be just the two of us, but we wouldn't completely be opposed to a couple we're friends with going with us either. Very different experiences though IMO. It worked out ok for us, because the other couple didn't seem to care what we did in any ports or onboard, and they kind of let me take the lead on planning and directing the cruise (which is the role I typically have with my DH). I think ultimately your experience will be dependant upon the personality types of those traveling & their expectations.

[LarryL]

Thanks for the link -- somehow I missed that when I perused the boards before starting a new thread. I knew the topic must have been addressed somewhere, at some time, but never noticed this. (I also find the search function on CC so frustrating that I probably gave up on it before noticing the other thread.)

 

Much to my surprise, most posters (on both threads) emphasize so much the idea that folks should not expect to spend very much time together on board that I am beginning to wonder why folks cruise with others -- seems they might as well vacation separately and call each other or skype. Reading the experiences of others who have actually done what I am contemplating makes me a little concerned that a two-couples cruise will not be exactly what I thought it might be...

 

So I guess I just need to confirm with my DS and BIL exactly what their desires are, and see if they match up with ours.

 

I hope you didn't take some of the information to believe traveling with another couple has too many negatives or you wouldn't spend quality time together as friends. We absolutley spend very much time together. With our particular traveling companions, we acknowledge our differences and do some things differently. On the other hand we also do many things together, be it on a cruise ship or a land based vacation. For example, we love seafood and fish. Our friends are the meat and potatoes type and are not at all adventurous when it comes to food. Knowing that, we plan our meals accordingly when the mood strikes. Of course , on a cruise ship, there are many food choices so that is never an issue.We always have a lot of fun and come home with many great memories. :) I know you will enjoy your cruise with them.

[1aCruise4wks]

We have cruised very often with our best friends and sometime included a third couple (also friends). When we were younger, we actually shared a cabin with our best friends on many occasions. Because we are very close friends, we spend a lot of time together. We always try to book cabins close to one another, preferable right next door. When we book a verandah cabin, we have the cabin steward open the door between verandahs. Before the cruise, we decide on our preferred dining option and any shore excursions that we want to do together.

 

We travel to the cruise port together and also book pre/post cruise packages together. Depending on the hotel, we often share a hotel room on the pre/post cruise packages.

 

Once onboard, we sometimes agree to meet for breakfast but, usually, we just look for each other at whatever time we go to breakfast. We usually end up running into each other at some point during breakfast. After breakfast, we each go wherever we want to go. Oftentimes, we are both interested in hanging out at the main pool so we'll go together. If we split up, we keep an eye out for each other whenever we move from one place to another. For example, if we decide at some point to move from the main pool to the back deck, when we get to the back deck we look around to see if our friends are there.

 

At lunchtime, we look around for each other. If we find them, we have lunch with them. We usually get together before dinner in one of the bars - because we have cabins next to each other, we decide on if & where at the last minute. We always have dinner together even in the specialty restaurants. After dinner, we go our separate ways for entertainment but often end up getting together when we find we are interested in the same venue. We usually end up together in the Disco at the end of the night, sometimes stopping for a late-night snack afterwards. We usually meet up on our verandah to have a couple of beers and enjoy sailing through the night.

 

Yes, we spend a lot of time with each other but we have a lot in common and really enjoy each others' company. We've been friends for over 35 years.

 

When we include others on our cruise, we don't spend as much time with everyone. We do try to book cabins near each other and we do have dinner together almost every night. When we first started cruising with friends, we tried to spend the days together but it was almost impossible to always find deck chairs together (or in the same vicinity).

 

All of the people that we've ever cruised with were people that we spent time with socially before ever cruising. I wouldn't cruise with any other couple that I didn't spend time with socially on a normal basis. I believe that is a recipe for disaster!

[Georgiane]

We spend a wonderful vacation on an Eastern Med Cruise and we did do all tours together (mainly because we had not been to these ports) We decided where we wanted to go before we went and it worked out well... But again we were not joined at the hip - on Sea Days we did our own thing but did meet up for Happy Hour and Dinner every night - we had a great time but we all get along and do things together at home as well...

We did a River Cruise with the same couple and because its a small boat did lots together and also had a blast....

 

It is what you make of it.. .I say don't fret over it - it will work out in the end...

[lizzies_mom]

Before last year, we would have had no experience in this matter. However, last year we cruised with friends we had met three years earlier on a PC cruise. They were planning a TA to celebrate their 25th anniversary, and we persuaded them to take the one we had been viewing. We booked cabins near each other, linked our reservations for traditional dining (how we had first met), and planned to meet them in Barcelona several days before the cruise. While we only took two tours together, we met every evening and most afternoons for Trivia, as well as encountering them frequently during the day. Because we hadn't spent the whole day together, there was plenty to share at dinner.

 

Our other experience was in traveling with DS and DBIL this spring. They asked if we would mind them joining us when we unexpectedly booked a cruise on "their" line, Princess. While each couple planned a shared independent tour, we also made it clear that for some ports we hoped to explore on our own, and that worked well. Every evening, we met for drinks before deciding where we would dine that evening and share our day. For this cruise, it was important that the expectations on shared time were clear, but we were also relieved that they indicated they did not want too much togetherness.

[Husky61]

I checked on the Family Cruising board to see if there were any threads on this topic, but that board seems mostly oriented to families with children.

 

I would like to hear from folks who have cruised with one or two other couples (no children.) My husband and I are considering a cruise with my sister and her husband. We all like each other and get along well, but DH and I have never before cruise with anyone, and we wonder about the logistics. DH and I have cruised so far to have romantic get-aways, but have also felt that it might be fun to have some company, as this cruise would provide.

 

For those of you who have cruised with one or maybe two other couples (relatives or friends), how did you work out things like meeting up, how much time to spend together, cabin choices (proximity or no? adjoining or no?), planning excursions, fixed or anytime dining, communicating with each other, etc.?

 

I am not even sure what questions to ask, so I will let ya'll fire away with any insight you may think would help us.

 

The only thing I know at this point is that it sounds like my sister and her husband would not be going on the same sorts of excursions, generally, as DH and I would be -- they seem to have different interests than ours in most ports.

 

I want to figure out how to spend enough time together without spending too much time together! Needless to say, I want all of our relationships to be as good or better after the cruise than before!

 

We never cruise with anyone else. We only cruise with the two of us.:)

[margeecruiser]

Hi. My DH and I have cruised alone, with just another couple, and one time with a group of friends & neighbors that grew to 45 people! Each cruise was great, but each one was different. When we cruise with just one other couple, we tend to let them know early in the planning stage that we like late dining in the MDR and all our friends know we like to dress formally (tux and long gowns) and we are wine snobs(lol). Some of our friends are into scuba and diving, and we like historical tours. We all do our own thing and meet up for dinner or a drink sometime during the day, but we all do our own thing. On our next cruise, we will be doing a week from Rome to Barcelona, then a TA from Barcelona to Galveston. Our friends have never been to any of these ports, so I have researched and discussed all port activities, then made all arrangements, reservations, transfers, etc. Once on board, we will each do our own thing; we will do late dining and they will do anytime. Everyone is different and we don't expect our friends to all like all the exact same things we do. That's why it's so much fun to meet up somewhere onboard and catch up. Works for us!

 

Margee

[Tara Jane]

Our first cruise with another couple happened by coincidence. We booked and then when chatting to the wife at a craft group we both attend, discovered we were on the same cruise. I knew her hubby but my hubby had not met either of them. It turned out great, we had dinner together every night, went to the shows and a bit of supper after together. They were very experienced cruisers, I had done a couple and my DH was on his first cruise. We did not plan activities together during the day but we kept bumping into them, at meals, on the street when in port, we couldn't believe how often we came across each other. We since have done another couple of cruises with them and some ports we shared a taxi together for a day tour, deciding on a time to get off together and negotiate on the dock.

Our last cruise was with another couple, their first cruise, they are morning people and I am not, so we never met them for breakfast but often came across each other at lunch. Always had dinner, show and supper together. It was an island cruise, so not much to do in the day anyway so we each did our own thing and often came across each other.

We are soon to do another med with them. This time we will again do dinner and evening together, days will depend on each couple. We do what we want so everyone is happy. In Santorini we have grouped with 2 other couples to hire a van. Most of the other ports will be a do it yourself, what your want, and it may or may not be the same things.

That's the beauty of cruising, so many options, and not feeling we have to do any of them.

In all cases we have booked guarantee, we dont need to be close, the phone is all we need to contact. As someone else has said, when we go somewhere we just look to see if our friends are there too, if so we go and join them, if not so be it.

[Gutenberg]

The most important thing to remember when cruising with others/friends/family is that you are on vacation. All of you. You want to get away from every day pressure that is at home and at work. Don't bring stress on the ship with you. All of us vacation differently and the important thing is to do what you like and allow others to do what they enjoy. If your paths intersect, that's great.

 

Then on the other hand, there is no sense traveling with others if you never spend any time together. As so many have said, plan beforehand some together time where you can enjoy each other, telling/sharing together what you did that day and plan for the next.

 

Stress is not welcome on any of our vacations whether or not we travel with just our spouse or with others. IT comes back into our lives soon enough after the vacation ends.

[pris993]

Hi - we went on a cruise with my mother, brother and SIL (and their daughter) two years ago. And are planning to cruise in August with 4 other couples.

 

Our 'rule' is that we meet up at dinner, so we have fixed dining. Otherwise, we are all on our own. We choose shore excursions and have some we all want, some only a few do. We know we'll probably run into each other, and make plans during the day, but it's up to each of us.

 

My best advice is to talk it out ahead of time.

 

We don't have any adjoining cabins, and we all did guarantees since we didn't care how close we were to each other.

 

We have cruised with others a few times. Think the rule as stated here are good. Based on our experience we would do the same if cruising with others.

[cruiseaholic777]

Do your own thing during the day, meet at dinner and go from there. We do book some excursions together but not all of them. This has worked out well for us. Sometimes we go different ways after dinner and meet up later. ;)

[keg1]

We have cruised with family (5 adult children + spouses) as well as with couples. We said before hand "we are NOT conjoined at the hip" - always met for cocktails before sharing a dining table (assigned). Worked out beautifully.

[AZcruiser714]

I guess how much time you spend together depends on how well you know the people, longtime friends or rather new casual acquaintances. We have cruised many times with other couples, but they were always close friends of ours and we enjoyed doing most things on cruises together, just like we do at home. There were exceptions, like on our Mediterranean cruise. We made a rule beforehand if anyone wanted to do different excursions, feel free, we would always join up for dinner. One couple did do a few excursions without the rest. We also had no problem with some doing more late night dancing and drinking than the rest of us. One couple enjoyed sitting by the pool more than the rest of us. Daytimes we often did our own thing, not everyone was always interested in the same little activities. We did an Alaskan cruise on our own and we found we really missed all of them.

[Livesteamer]

DW and I have been on five cruises and have always had a cruising couple or two travel with us.

 

We establish some really easy rules from the very beginning.

 

1. We share our main meal time with our cruising companion couple(s).

2. If we see you for breakfast, we will always plan to join you or you join us.

3. Lunch is always a "hit or miss" affair depending upon whether it is an "at sea" or "in port" day.

4. We always try to book adjoining balcony cabins.

5. "Night clubbing" on the ship is always a planned event; as is time in the ship's various adult beverage venues.

6. Shore time is always discussed as a group ahead of time but it is most likely that our cruising couples might want to do something a tad bit different than we do. We will spent shore time together if our interests coincide but it is not always a must for shore time.

 

The rules have worked for 5 cruises without a single hitch

 

Marty

 

 

ra, a

[ruecatt]

My husband and I have cruised with another couple before and during the day we pretty much did our own thing. One day we took the same excursion and another day we walked around the town together but other than that we went our separate ways. The same while on the ship, if we were interest in doing the same activities we went together otherwise we went our separate ways. We would have breakfast together then we would meet up again at dinner.

 

I don't think you have to spend every minute together. You each want to explore your own interests. Just make sure you set aside sometime to spend together because you also don't want to get on the ship and then not see each other again until the end of the cruise.

[SeagoingMom]

Before last year, we would have had no experience in this matter. However, last year we cruised with friends we had met three years earlier on a PC cruise. They were planning a TA to celebrate their 25th anniversary, and we persuaded them to take the one we had been viewing. We booked cabins near each other, linked our reservations for traditional dining (how we had first met), and planned to meet them in Barcelona several days before the cruise. While we only took two tours together, we met every evening and most afternoons for Trivia, as well as encountering them frequently during the day. Because we hadn't spent the whole day together, there was plenty to share at dinner.

 

Our other experience was in traveling with DS and DBIL this spring. They asked if we would mind them joining us when we unexpectedly booked a cruise on "their" line, Princess. While each couple planned a shared independent tour, we also made it clear that for some ports we hoped to explore on our own, and that worked well. Every evening, we met for drinks before deciding where we would dine that evening and share our day. For this cruise, it was important that the expectations on shared time were clear, but we were also relieved that they indicated they did not want too much togetherness.

Somehow I think your experience sounds most like what I imagine a cruise with my DS and BIL would be like -- except for the part where she and he would indicate they did not want too much togetherness! I think we would be the ones to be doing that -- just enough togetherness, but not too much. The idea of meeting for drinks in the evening and then deciding what to do later sounds like a good one. That and ascertaining whether we would all four meet up the next day at, say, dance lessons or the promenade deck (or jogging track) sounds about right for us.

[SeagoingMom]

you also don't want to get on the ship and then not see each other again until the end of the cruise.

Exactly!

[espin]

We have cruised just the two of us then in September my father and brother came with us for their first cruises. We had cabins next to each other but not adjoining.

Prior to the cruise we discussed what excursions we would be interested in at each port and then booked what we agreed on.

We wanted to swim with the manatees in Cozumel and my brother was not interested in doing it so he just came and watched us but I did give him the option to stay on the boat.

As for sea days .. We did whatever we wanted and told my dad and brother they were not obligated to be with us 24/7 and were free to do what they wanted.

My husband and I enjoy the shows at night but my dad loves to karaoke which often was offered at the same time... So my dad did his thing at night and we did ours. My brother who is 21 would come to the shows with us if he wanted to but not always.

We ate dinner together but the other meals we ate when we wanted and if happened to be together it was nice but we didn't make a plan.

It was the first time we vacationed with other people and would defiantly do it again. I would just discuss each others expectations prior to the trip.

[SeagoingMom]

just discuss each others expectations prior to the trip.

That's what we'll do! :) I think things will work our well for us, as they did for you.

[legaljen1969]

We have done cruises with my family every two years since 2006. It is my parents, my brother, sister in law, niece(s)- now two of them, and my husband and me. All of our family cruises have been Carribean cruises. Yes, there are only two basic itineraries leaving from any Florida port- eastern or western. The point is being together as a family since we are all spread out.

 

That might be the first thing to think about. If you all live in the same city and have Sunday dinner every week, your expectations about time to spent together might be different than a family or a group of friends who meets once a year to cruise- but might not have contact in person on a regular basis. As someone else said, this is your vacation. Everyone has different expectations of vacation. A cruise is an interesting way to get all of those needs met without having people all scattered out. It gives you a "rally point" to be together yet allows most expectations to be met. There are those who want to sightsee as much as possible. Those who want to be active and do sporting physical activities, those who want to sit around and catch up on some reading and relaxation, those who want to be pampered. How many places can these needs all be met while traveling and not having to pick different vacations to meet each need? This is why we love cruising.

 

We still have a little bit of a problem getting folks together for dinner, but usually we make it work. We have just had to alter our method of getting together a couple of times. My brother and sister in law are almost always blowing in the wind, late for dinner. Sometimes they don't show up at all. That frustrates us and my parents, because we are all pretty time driven rules and regulations personalities. Not brother and sister in law. That's just not their life. We have now found that "my time" dining works best for us because we can pick different times each night based on what the day holds. My father, brother and I tend to get up earlier and usually find each other to go have breakfast. If we find each other, that's great. If not, we know we will have dinner. Usually dad, brother and I set the pace for the day when we have breakfast. If we know it is going to be crazy, we may decide that the best plan is meeting on the pool deck around 9:00 to watch the kids swim and we can all have a couple of drinks.

 

We have always had dinner together the first night just to talk about what else we might have planned for the week. Either my parents or my husband and I usually try to plan two nights where one of us has my nieces-so my brother and sister in law can have some time alone.

 

We have always planned dinners together to talk about our day. A lot of times we don't plan ship excursions together, but we might all have something in mind that we want to do so we will get together if it works out. Our days are "do what you wish" and many times we have ended up meeting up at some point and having lunch or hitting a local beach.

 

We have done Disney this way too. We set up dinners but the rest is "do what you want."

[OCruisers]

People suggest having a conversation prior to the cruise about not spending ever waking moment together.

 

We have dear friends where the above conversation would hurt their feelings. They want to do everything with us and we do enjoy doing the same sort of things so it's almost impossible to say we don't want to do everything with them.

 

Land trips with them are perfectly fine. Cruises would not be. :rolleyes:

 

LuLu

~~~