How to confuse a Brit?

[Omega1]

based on the title, I'm still waiting for the punch line?? ;)

 

When I was a kid we used to tell jokes like that - nowadays they are regarded as 'politically incorrect'.

 

Anyway, back to topic. I've worked out that according to Princess logic, embarkation date = date leaving home + shoe size - collar size x degrees east or west of Greenwich. Simple!!

[Vexorg]

I'd answer with something like "Give them a cricket bat and stick them in front of a wicket" but since I'm not Aussie I don't think I could get away with it. :D

[Oh2B@C]

Who's Alan Buckelew???

[Nomsayin]

"Two nations divided by a common language."

[Oh2B@C]

Who's Alan Buckelew???

 

Never mind... duh...:o

[Griller]

"Two nations divided by a common language."

The Brits lent us the language and look what we did with it!

[Corfe Mixture]

....and the punch line is:

 

'....put him in a room with three shovels and tell him to take his pick'

 

:confused:

 

Yup, we can laugh at ourselves :D

[Corfe Mixture]

I'd answer with something like "Give them a cricket bat and stick them in front of a wicket" but since I'm not Aussie I don't think I could get away with it. :D

 

Ah you obviously don't follow cricket. The Aussies got smashed this year, though I have to admit that, the one time they looked like winning, we cheated by calling on our secret weapon - RAIN

 

But whilst we are on the subject of Aussies, do you know why Aussies call Castlemaine beer 'Four X'?

 

Answer: Do you know an Austrailian who can spell Castlemaine?

 

PS. Don't tell that to an Aussie. Lovely people, but not too many of them have a self-effacing sense of humour.

[GADABOUTGRANNIE]

I couldn't agree more - they talk absolute rubbish a lot of the time! In the Patter on our latest cruise, the "most cruise days" couple were quoted as living in Pontefract, WALES ................ we Brits were all quite amused!

 

Next time I cruise, I intend to take a highlighter pen and entertain myself by marking the daily errors. THAT should pass the time nicely. Maybe I will give them back to Customer Services when we leave the ship.

 

As to land based admin, the less said the better!

[scott4020]

Never had this happen on our U.S. side of the pond. Flying in the day of embarkation we always have to depart on our flight the night before, which gets confusing when planning.

 

Can one "embark" a plane? Isn't "bark" derived from some Romance language meaning "ship", or "boat or the like? :confused:

 

My favorite is deplane, when did we ever plane?

[MauiLvrs]

My favorite is deplane, when did we ever plane?

George carlin had a few things to say about that. Probably can't repeat them here... Just say that he was getting in the airplane ...

 

If we're sailing on a British ship such as Princess ... shouldn't we be going on holiday?

[Nomsayin]

My favorite is deplane, when did we ever plane?

 

Shouldn't that be "favourite"? ;)

[beg3yrs]

Shouldn't that be "favourite"? ;)

 

Blame good old Daniel Webster for 'Americanizing' the spelling of English words.

 

As a Yank who had the good fortune of working with Brits for several years, I had great fun when I was corrected with the spelling of the word 'program' as it is 'programme' in the Kingdom. With a simple comment that 'programme' looked French, never again was my American spelling corrected. ;)

[Griller]

My favorite is deplane, when did we ever plane?

But you did emplane - or enplane is also acceptable but not used generally

[Omega1]

Blame good old Daniel Webster for 'Americanizing' the spelling of English words.

 

As a Yank who had the good fortune of working with Brits for several years, I had great fun when I was corrected with the spelling of the word 'program' as it is 'programme' in the Kingdom. With a simple comment that 'programme' looked French, never again was my American spelling corrected. ;)

 

Ouch! That was well below the belt.:eek:

[Nomsayin]

Blame good old Daniel Webster for 'Americanizing' the spelling of English words.

 

The Devil made him do it.;)

[Thrak]

I'd answer with something like "Give them a cricket bat and stick them in front of a wicket" but since I'm not Aussie I don't think I could get away with it. :D

 

Ok, no I'm confused. I thought they would be in front of a stump. Of course I'm from the U.S. so what do I know about Cricket... :eek:

[Thrak]

"Two nations divided by a common language."

 

Often attributed to Winston Churchill but most likely a paraphrase of something said by George Bernard Shaw... Factual attribution is difficult, maybe impossible, to track down.

[Thrak]

Like when you actually walk up the ramp and enter the realm of pamperedness...

 

 

as opposed to the American kind ;)

 

It the Captain said ... Get your butt back on the ship by 5:30 or we sail without you ... would less people miss the ship than when he says we sail in 3 hours time? :D

 

If we're trying to be correct here, that should be 'fewer' people, but at least the meaning is clear!

 

You had to go there didn't you. :) I was going to leave that on alone even though it's one of my (many) pet peeves. You should try reading the local newspaper where I live. It makes me crazy.

[Murgat]

Often attributed to Winston Churchill but most likely a paraphrase of something said by George Bernard Shaw... Factual attribution is difficult, maybe impossible, to track down.

 

Or a verbal paraphrase of something written by Oscar Wilde in the Canterville Ghost published in 1887.

 

"We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language".

[Nomsayin]

Or a verbal paraphrase of something written by Oscar Wilde in the Canterville Ghost published in 1887.

 

"We really have everything in common with America nowadays except, of course, language".

 

If there were a demographic for erudition, I'm sure Princess cruisers would be in the 99th percentile.:p

[woodyren]

Ah you obviously don't follow cricket. The Aussies got smashed this year, though I have to admit that, the one time they looked like winning, we cheated by calling on our secret weapon - RAIN

 

But whilst we are on the subject of Aussies, do you know why Aussies call Castlemaine beer 'Four X'?

 

Answer: Do you know an Austrailian who can spell Castlemaine?

 

PS. Don't tell that to an Aussie. Lovely people, but not too many of them have a self-effacing sense of humour.

 

I think that you may have stumbled onto the root cause of all this confusion. As a Nation Brits are adjusting to actually being good at sport. Previous to the last few years the Brits were good at inventing sports then getting flogged by all and sundry. Of course it took half their GDP, a bunch of foreign coaches and the plundering of cricketers from Africa to achieve some of this success.

 

Aussies don't drink XXXX. Deranged Queenslanders do. QLD'ers are also confused. They struggle with simple geography. Particularly about their state borders and especially where football (rugby league) players actually come from. For those playing overseas look up a map and see where Bowraville lies.

[tailspintom]

Never had this happen on our U.S. side of the pond. Flying in the day of embarkation we always have to depart on our flight the night before, which gets confusing when planning.

 

Can one "embark" a plane? Isn't "bark" derived from some Romance language meaning "ship", or "boat or the like? :confused:

 

The term bark does indeed stem from a nautical term. A Barque was a small three mast sailing vessel. Bartholomew Gosnold, the wonderful English explorer and privateer, sailed one to explore the new world in 1602. He mapped New England extensively and is credited with naming Cape Cod and Martha's Vineyard (after his daughter, Martha). In 1607 he captained the Godspeed, landed in Jamestowne, Virginia where he died.

The English language is truly beautiful and powerful. Its adaptability is very unique in languages.

I am rambling, I know. Off I go to Venice to pick up the Royal.

[beg3yrs]

Aussies don't drink XXXX. Deranged Queenslanders do. QLD'ers are also confused. They struggle with simple geography. Particularly about their state borders and especially where football (rugby league) players actually come from. For those playing overseas look up a map and see where Bowraville lies.

 

Thanks for the education! Leaving the USA for Sydney THIS AFTERNOON (Tuesday AM here) and embarking the Dawn Princess on Friday.

 

I will say we had a red Australian Cattle Dog (aka Queensland Heeler) who was quite smart.

[MandE-UK]

Really well played Roger! (Omega 1) At last an erudite thread.