9 year old alone on ship

[rgmacm]

WHY do I come back? I shouldn't....I certinaly SHOULDN"T!!

Perhaps my veiwpoint is affected by the way I spend my days. I don't spend my days talking to the tens of thousands of young women and LITTLE GIRLS who ARENT raped or sexually assaulted. I spend my days talking to the hundreds who ARE.

It affects you....and it changes you.

I stand by my original statement...parents should protect their children...but more so, their daughters...

I will ALWAYS promote that idea.

Each parent will make their own decisions... I don't presume that anyone is going to do what I say just because I say it.

My hope is that SOMEone reading this will at least stop for a moment and consider the dangers on a cruise ship and at least take SOME steps to lessen their own children's chances of being the next victim....

I don't apologize for my thoughts and opinions. I DO, however, apologize for sharing them with an audience as large and varied as this one.

[chikkityRN]

Rgmacm,

 

I wanted to say congrats on your new grand baby that will be coming soon. How very exciting!!

 

It's very nice when we can have conversations and share our viewpoints without being hurtful or insulting. I guess this is a very passionate subject.

 

Anyway, I am really looking forward to our next cruise and I am hoping that our kids enjoy the kids club activities so me and the hubby can enjoy spending a little alone time.

 

 

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Edited February 23, 2014 by chikkityRN

[Onessa]

I think that some parents set up an "expectation" that since their child is so advanced, that the kid's club activities are not enough for him/her. The kids pick up on this. I'm always amazed that so many people want their kids childhoods to be gone so quickly!

. . . I have to say that I can absolutely see a child being bored and not liking the kids clubs. Neither of my kids liked them and I was encouraging them to try them hoping it would add to their cruise experience....they did find them boring and not fun so they stayed and did things with us . . .

I did not say that some kids might not like the kids clubs, I said that some parents set up an "expectation" that their kid will be bored (or scared, or whatever) and that the kids pick up on thier parents' attitude.

• If you repeatedly say to your kid "if you get bored" -- you've set up an expectation.
  
• If you express concern in front of your kid to a friend that you are just worried that they will be bored -you've set up an expectation.
  
• If you brag about your child's ability and ask how she can "skip" to the next group -- you've set up an expectation.
  

My point is if a parent comes into a cruise with the expectation that the kid's club is not going to work for their precious darling, will probably won't work :D

[mickev99]

In reading through a number of these comments (I didn't read all 3 pages) it seems that many are saying "MY child is old enough". The issue, as I see it, is not whether the child is old enough.....it's whether you trust everyone else on that ship to be 'nice'.

 

Surely...most of them are. They're people just like you or I and they would NEVER hurt or harm a child. However, with 3000+ passengers on a ship, what are the chances that at least ONE OF THEM is a child predator. DO you know how many cabins with closed and locked doors there are on a ship??? Anyone of them could harbor a crime scene ...and crime against a child.

 

The first time we cruised we told our SEVENTEEN year old daughter that she was not allowed to go anyplace on that ship alone. She was to either be accompanied by her father or I....or her SIXTEEN year old brother. Yes...her younger brother. I should mention that he WAS much bigger than she!! :) :)

 

Why?? It wasn't about age or maturity.... She was quite mature and trustworthy. We have never had an ounce of problem out of her. It was about the fact that this was our beautiful 17 yr old daughter...Did I say BEAUTIFUL? Yes! haha We also sat our son down and talked to him about our expectations of him as far as protecting her....If she went to the ladies room, we wanted him standing outside nearby waiting for her. If she wanted an ice cream cone, we expected him to accompany her to get one. (They were to discuss these things and compromise so that she did not 'abuse' her brother's kindness...) We completely trusted that her brother would do anything he had to do to protect her!!! We did NOT fully trust that she would be ABLE to ward off an attack.

it had nothing to do with the person she was...it had to do with the fact that she was a beautiful 17 year old girl...and girls are more likely to be raped or assaulted than boys....

Perhaps I live in fear...but we came home with our daughter safe....so we didn't make such a bad decision afterall. We don't regret doing it and hope our grandchildren are raised the same way. :)

 

Glad to hear that I'm not the only one. On our next cruise, my 16 year old niece will be going with us. My own children are 9,9, and 11, all girls. They will not be going anywhere without me (except the kid's club, but no sign in or out privileges). I have already told my niece that she will not be able to be as free as she was on the last cruise when her father was there. She is a very good girl, but she is small framed and would not be able to fight off an attacker. She is also very trusting. I love her as if she is my own child and won't risk anything happening to her. It can happen in the blink of an eye.

[Handsome58]

You are doing the right thing!

[Onessa]

Glad to hear that I'm not the only one. On our next cruise, my 16 year old niece will be going with us. My own children are 9,9, and 11, all girls. They will not be going anywhere without me (except the kid's club, but no sign in or out privileges). I have already told my niece that she will not be able to be as free as she was on the last cruise when her father was there. She is a very good girl, but she is small framed and would not be able to fight off an attacker. She is also very trusting. I love her as if she is my own child and won't risk anything happening to her. It can happen in the blink of an eye.

I'm a 54YO adult female - 5'9" and not small. I am not all that comfortable wandering alone.

 

A 16YO of either gender, really should not be alone. We don't expect our now 18YO DD to be with us 24/7, but if she is going to be off and about anywhere I expect her to be with someone -- last night she went to a Math Meet at another local high school and picked up two other friends rather than going alone. On-board she makes friends, but knows enough to stay in public places with larger groups -- if she's going back to the cabin, she'll call to let us know she's coming back (or leave a message, if we are not back :)). Not only do we want to know where she is, we let her know where expect to be, and we all "check in" at regular intervals.

[dsrdsrdsr]

A 16YO of either gender, really should not be alone. We don't expect our now 18YO DD to be with us 24/7, but if she is going to be off and about anywhere I expect her to be with someone -- last night she went to a Math Meet at another local high school and picked up two other friends rather than going alone. On-board she makes friends, but knows enough to stay in public places with larger groups -- if she's going back to the cabin, she'll call to let us know she's coming back (or leave a message, if we are not back :)). Not only do we want to know where she is, we let her know where expect to be, and we all "check in" at regular intervals.

I realise it's a dangerous world (though probably no more so than it ever has been), but the chances of your daughter being assualted by the bar staff if she happens to be the only person in a public lounge is very remote indeed. Substantially less than the chances of being assualted by a friend, in fact.

[Onessa]

• Staying in public places.
  
• Staying with larger groups.
  
• Letting your family/friends know where you are
  
• Letting your family/friends know when they can expect you.
  

In general - good ideas at any age, for any gender. Not a assurance that nothing "bad" will happen. Not that something "bad" WILL happen if you are alone, or walking down an otherwise deserted corridor, or whatever. Just, in general, a good idea.

Edited February 26, 2014 by Onessa

[junglejane]

Most 6YO would not be comfortable with that :)

 

I think that some parents set up an "expectation" that since their child is so advanced, that the kid's club activities are not enough for him/her. The kids pick up on this. I'm always amazed that so many people want their kids childhoods to be gone so quickly!

 

I'm rather late coming to this thread but I did want to comment. I have 2 DD's. Our next cruise is booked for Christmas 2014, by which time they will be 18 and 13. They have been cruising since they were 9 and 4. They have experienced the kid and teen programs, and the oldest is about to "age out" of the teen program.

 

I have mixed feelings about this. On the one hand, I am amazed (like Onessa) at how quickly some people declare that their kid is "too mature" for the kid or teen program or that the kid or teen program is "too lame" for their child/teen. Is it really or are you, as the parent, communicating that attitude?

 

On the other hand, I am amazed at the overly protective parents. You have to train and equip your child to deal with the world. Guess what, the time has come for my older DD to head off to college. If she were too scared to walk the halls of a cruise ship without me, how could I expect her to deal with the college environment? She has had to learn to make decisions about what people to associate with and what people to avoid, and what situations are dangerous or risky and she should extricate herself from. If I hovered over her for every second, how would she learn to make these judgments when the time came?

 

Fortunately my older DD seems to have very good judgment. I can remember back in 2009 when she was in the teen program on the Sapphire Princess and she came to me and said she had to walk away from teens who were smoking pot and raiding their parents' mini-bar. It was a great lesson for her on exercising good judgment.

 

My younger DD is now 13. She is much more shy and uncomfortable with the teen program. I'll have to watch her more closely and keep her closer at hand. But I also think it's a good experience for her to experience some independence and responsibility.

[rebeccalouiseagain]

I am protective, totally worried about pedophiles and every parent's worse nightmare- a missing child.

 

On of the reasons I love to cruise is that my son does get to have a bit of freedom and not have a helicopter mom hover around.

 

A nine year certainly can walk around a cruise ship. My rule has always been if you want to swim- you have to go with me. That's still the rule and his is 13. It just makes sense.

[pkflamingo]

What age did you seasoned cruisers leave your kids in the cabin to sleep alone? I don't know if I'm ready to leave my 8yo daughter in a cabin all by herself once she's asleep. In reality she will probably be fine staying up as late as we do. LOL

 

 

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[Kerry's Girls]

What age did you seasoned cruisers leave your kids in the cabin to sleep alone? I don't know if I'm ready to leave my 8yo daughter in a cabin all by herself once she's asleep. In reality she will probably be fine staying up as late as we do. LOL

 

 

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She wouldn't be able to deadbolt the door, unless you're going to wake her up by knocking to be let in when you come back. I wouldn't leave a kid in the room unable to bolt the door - too many staff have access to a locked cabin. I give my 9 year olds more freedom than most people on these boards, but I wouldn't do that. I'm fine with them in a public area, but not alone in a cabin. Not sure what age I would allow that.

 

Best,

Mia

[sprockie]

I don't let my kids tour around the ship unsupervised. They are 7 and 12 now, but I can't see that happening for many years. It always occurs to me when we are walking down the long corridors to our rooms how easy it would be for a pedophile to pop out a door, grab a child and no one would see where they went. I don't even let my son run ahead of us and be out of my sight in the hallways. I am not paranoid, but I also don't believe in inviting trouble.

[CruiseAddict1982]

Funny how every parent wants to label their child as being mature when they are children. Well I have a mature 5 and 2 year old but they would never roam a ship at 9 even with a walkie talkie. Times are different now and it only takes a second for something to happen to our "mature" children.

 

 

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[cb at sea]

If you look at the stats and facts, today is MUCH safer than yesteryear.....it just doesn't seem to be....we have instant access to all the scary stories!

 

While I wouldn't let my kids "roam" at any age, I would allow them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons...that's how they learn to be responsible adults! That's the goal, isn't it? To raise your kids to get out on their own, successfully? Not to raise "fraidy cats" that boomerang home everytime something in their life goes awry.

 

Helicopter parents do their children no favors.

[CruiseAddict1982]

If you look at the stats and facts, today is MUCH safer than yesteryear.....it just doesn't seem to be....we have instant access to all the scary stories!

 

 

 

While I wouldn't let my kids "roam" at any age, I would allow them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons...that's how they learn to be responsible adults! That's the goal, isn't it? To raise your kids to get out on their own, successfully? Not to raise "fraidy cats" that boomerang home everytime something in their life goes awry.

 

 

 

Helicopter parents do their children no favors.

 

 

Are there stats on parents that helicopter over their children have children that are more successful than those who don't? Didn't think so. My parents were protective of me and I'm a cop now. Parents should do what they think is right regardless of what anyone says.

 

 

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[CruiseAddict1982]

If you look at the stats and facts, today is MUCH safer than yesteryear.....it just doesn't seem to be....we have instant access to all the scary stories!

 

 

 

While I wouldn't let my kids "roam" at any age, I would allow them to go to and from specific places for specific reasons...that's how they learn to be responsible adults! That's the goal, isn't it? To raise your kids to get out on their own, successfully? Not to raise "fraidy cats" that boomerang home everytime something in their life goes awry.

 

 

 

Helicopter parents do their children no favors.

 

 

Safer today? I don't trust stats and I don't remember all these active shooter shootings or mass killings when I was younger but if your stats say so they must be true. Protect your kids the best way you know how. We are strictly talking about cruises, not anything else.

 

 

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[mjkacmom]

Safer today? I don't trust stats and I don't remember all these active shooter shootings or mass killings when I was younger but if your stats say so they must be true. Protect your kids the best way you know how. We are strictly talking about cruises, not anything else.

 

 

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First of many articles that came up on google:

 

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2012/0109/US-crime-rate-at-lowest-point-in-decades.-Why-America-is-safer-now

 

I'm protecting my children by enabling them to become strong, confident adults. My oldest is going off to college in the fall - hopefully she will have her wits about her at all times, and be able to read situations. Keeping her sheltered would not have been doing her any favors. She's walked to school her entire life, has flown alone since the age of 11, taken public transportation starting at 15... And she's been able to navigate a cruise ship (with others) since the age of 11.

[CruiseAddict1982]

First of many articles that came up on google:

 

 

 

http://www.csmonitor.com/USA/Justice/2012/0109/US-crime-rate-at-lowest-point-in-decades.-Why-America-is-safer-now

 

 

 

I'm protecting my children by enabling them to become strong, confident adults. My oldest is going off to college in the fall - hopefully she will have her wits about her at all times, and be able to read situations. Keeping her sheltered would not have been doing her any favors. She's walked to school her entire life, has flown alone since the age of 11, taken public transportation starting at 15... And she's been able to navigate a cruise ship (with others) since the age of 11.

 

 

Stats I don't trust because some crimes aren't reported.

 

Like I said I don't care how you raise your child that's up to you. There's no perfect blueprint on raising a child and if there was one we all would be following it. If you choose to let you kid roam free on a cruise that's your choice and if I choose for mine not to that's my choice. Neither are wrong

 

 

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[Lovely169]

I have been following this post for awhile. I just came back from a 7 day cruise on Carnival Valor Sunday. My daughter is 11 years old. She was not able to sign herself out. There was entirely too many people on the ship. I gave permission for her to sign out for scavenger hunts because she was with a group of kids. As far as signing herself out of camp carnival. NO!!! She's 11 and she's still innocent. I'm holding on to her innocence as long as I see it in her.

 

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[CruiseAddict1982]

I have been following this post for awhile. I just came back from a 7 day cruise on Carnival Valor Sunday. My daughter is 11 years old. She was not able to sign herself out. There was entirely too many people on the ship. I gave permission for her to sign out for scavenger hunts because she was with a group of kids. As far as signing herself out of camp carnival. NO!!! She's 11 and she's still innocent. I'm holding on to her innocence as long as I see it in her.

 

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I hear that! Kids look to us to protect them because we know what's best. Good call I would do the same.

 

 

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[mjkacmom]

Stats I don't trust because some crimes aren't reported.

 

Like I said I don't care how you raise your child that's up to you. There's no perfect blueprint on raising a child and if there was one we all would be following it. If you choose to let you kid roam free on a cruise that's your choice and if I choose for mine not to that's my choice. Neither are wrong

 

 

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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mean_world_syndrome

[keithm]

Safer today? I don't trust stats and I don't remember all these active shooter shootings or mass killings when I was younger but if your stats say so they must be true. Protect your kids the best way you know how. We are strictly talking about cruises, not anything else.

 

 

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The stats ARE correct. The difference is when we were kids(earlier 1960's now)there was about 175 million people in the US. Now there's over 300mill. So percentage wise the "numbers" are the same, that & oh, we're more willing to "talk" about it.

[keithm]

Stats I don't trust because some crimes aren't reported.

 

Like I said I don't care how you raise your child that's up to you. There's no perfect blueprint on raising a child and if there was one we all would be following it. If you choose to let you kid roam free on a cruise that's your choice and if I choose for mine not to that's my choice. Neither are wrong

 

 

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Personally, I'd never let a kid roam free on a ship. I find the chance of an abusive person very remote, but I also see the chance of the "innocent & perfect' child to really get into some mischief! Let's think back on how innocent & perfect we all were at that age!

[xmansmommy]

It's not always about that pedophile lurking around trying to "get" your child. A couple of things I noticed on our last cruise -

 

A 9 year old my son had met playing ping pong was out alone several nights past 11:00 or 12:00. He was obviously bored and was inserting himself into adult groups and conversations of total strangers. One night there was a group in their 20s. They were very drunk and talking about things I wouldn't want my son to hear. He was rude and obnoxious and they finally left to get away from him.

 

A group of kids were daring each other (or so it seemed) to climb over the rails. Not the side of the ship, just the ones behind the big screen. If they had fallen they still could have been hurt. Most of them were probably good kids and normally responsible but when you get kids in a group they convince each other that bad ideas are good ones. I would never think to tell my child "be sure you don't climb over the rail" before we parted and, while I hope he would have sense enough not to do that, at 10 years old it could probably go either way.