Am I the only one?

[david_sobe]

Am I the only one that loves to go over to the NCL cruise review section of CC and read all the horrible one star reviews?  I find it so entertaining.  I am not trying to discard someone's negative opinion of their cruise.  However, I am talking about the "over the top" extreme exaggerations that literally make you laugh out loud.  Many years ago I found these 2 NCL reviews that were so out of the chair funny that I posted them here.  One guy was so upset that NCL put corn in the clam chowder that he demanded to speak with the manager.  Of course the manager does not make the recipe but explained that is how corporate tells us how to make the soup.  Then the guy went on a 3 paragraph rant how Kevin Sheehan was killing NCL because he demanded corn be added to clam chowder.  Then there was a woman who claimed NCL hurt her knees because the carpet they installed on the Getaway did not have enough padding.  My favorite was the woman that was in tears because she could not find anything to eat on the ship.  She considered getting off at port and flying home because she was starving and malnourished.  She claimed she stayed alive by picking at the bread and muffins at the buffet.  We used to get such reviews posted in this section but people are far too harsh and start flaming them.  I posted the review of the woman about the carpet here and we all had a good laugh.  However the woman found out about it and posted a response.  I felt so bad because it seemed we were all making fun of her.  That is not my intent at all.  I love reading them and wish they would start coming back here.  But lately there have been some good ones.  Someone gave their Deluxe Owners Suite on Prima a one star because of their room steward.  How could a room steward ruin your cruise?  If I ever had money to book a deluxe owners suite, my room steward could chase me around the room in fangs and I would still have an amazing time.  What did the room steward do?   Break into the room at midnight and hit you over the head with a frying pan each night?  But we never find out how the room steward ruined the cruise.  Someone posted their Epic toilet was in the shower.  Another one stated someone laying on the bed made it impossible to brush your teeth on Epic.  You needed to move their feet because they were too close to the sink.  Another poster claimed there were too many sea days on their cruise.  People still fault the weather for their cruise experience.  I wish someone would put the most outrageous cruise reviews and put them all in a book.  I am not making fun of anyone.  There definitely are issues on board that impact our cruise.  I am talking about the over the top, most outrageous reasons people hated their cruise.  I find them so entertaining and want to read more of them 😁

My favorite:  Direct quote from a recent NCL review:  "Casino was horrible, lost $70!"
LMAO

Edited January 26 by david_sobe

[graphicguy]

I've seen my fair share of crazy reviews.....on all the cruise lines.  They run the gamut as you point out.  Can't find food to eat (huh)?  The buffet doesn't stay open 24/7 for them.  Cabin is too cold, too hot, too tall, too narrow, too wide, etc. (BTW...there is a thermostat in the cabin to regulate heat).

 

Some of these are experiences with passengers and not necessarily a review of a cruise....

 

This is not meant in any political way whatsoever....just an experience...Several years ago I was sitting in O'Sheehans watching a performer while sitting at the railing while drinking a beer.  A guy, probably in his late '40s-early '50s and smelling "funky" sits down next to me.  He tried to take is "maga" hat off and put it on my head.  I pulled away.  He kept trying to do that.  I finally just tried to move to another seat and he followed me.  There was ship security who I guess had been following him around as he tried to do it with others.  They took him away,

 

Another time, was sitting in Royal's Anthem of the Seas Diamond Lounge having a bagel when a gentleman sits on the couch next to me with his wife.  We strike up a conversation and find we have a love of muscle cars in common.  His wife spots someone she knows on the other side of the lounge and goes over to chat.  I have a Cobra Convertible that I restored and had some pictures of it on my phone that I showed him.  He started showing me pictures of a restomod Ford F100 he had.  While paging through the pictures, one pops up of his wife....NAKED.  He chuckles and said he meant to delete it.  He keeps scrolling and more and more of his wife's naked pics crop up.  He kept looking to get my response, as it was now clear he was doing it on purpose.  I was way uncomfortable, particularly given she was only about 25 feet away chatting with someone else.  I excused myself.  Never saw him in the Diamond Lounge again.

 

This was on the Carnival Vista.  Was sailing solo and was at the Alchemy Bar.  Those of you who sail Carnival know that the Alchemy Bar is sort of the "cool" place to hang out if you're inside on the ship.  I situated myself at the bar and see this lady, kind of bouncing from tables to the bar to the tables checking for guys with wedding rings.  I, unfortunately, was the only one without one, as I'm not married.  She propositioned me by stating we could "hook up" and no one would be the wiser as it's what you do on a cruise ship.  No thanks!

 

Got plenty more.  I think if you've cruised for a while, this type of thing crops up and, while many times funny (well, maybe not at the time), it's also irritating.

 

What people complain about is humorous, though.

[SeaShark]

You could probably make a very popular YouTube channel just by taking a review, and then reading it, breaking it down, and offering common sense advice/commentary in a video each week.

[graphicguy]

Almost forgot.....there were the two alleged porn stars staying the in the Retreat on the Celebrity Edge.  They were tequila lovers and would run around showing people vids of them in action to the guys sitting at the Retreat Bar, the pool bar and anywhere else there was a crowd.

[SeaShark]

You could call the YouTube channel "Cruising Karen's"

[david_sobe]

4 minutes ago, SeaShark said:

You could probably make a very popular YouTube channel just by taking a review, and then reading it, breaking it down, and offering common sense advice/commentary in a video each week.

Thats no joke.  I was just watching something yesterday and they were saying cruising is more popular than ever.  But they went on to say, youtube channels documenting cruising are even more popular that cruising almost.  These guys are making a fortune and getting free cruises just vlogging their cruises.  Someone I know has a youtube channel with 500k subscribers.   They make $130k just off the youtube channel.  

[david_sobe]

2 points I forgot.  When people write "all the staff was rude.  we never encountered a friendly staff member" drives me crazy.  Personally I have never encountered a rude cruise ship worker.  But I am sure they exist somewhere. But to cast all of them as rude is pure rubbish.

Its fair game to say:  the buffet is too crowded.  we could not get a lounger by the pool by 2 pm.  That's fine and expected if you share your experience.  But to make up stuff and warn people about silly stuff is just a bridge too far.  But they are my guilty pleasure because once I read all the NCL reviews, I go to other lines.  Those same people exist over there too.  Another peeve are the people that blame the cruise line when they forget things at port.  I know that sounds insane but I read it all the time as if its  NCL's fault they could not find what they lost and retrieve it back on the ship.

[SeaShark]

5 minutes ago, david_sobe said:

Thats no joke.  I was just watching something yesterday and they were saying cruising is more popular than ever.  But they went on to say, youtube channels documenting cruising are even more popular that cruising almost.  These guys are making a fortune and getting free cruises just vlogging their cruises.  Someone I know has a youtube channel with 500k subscribers.   They make $130k just off the youtube channel.  

 

Oh, I wasn't joking...there are more than enough over the top reviews to supply a YouTube channel for quite a while. It would be a great idea for someone with the time to make the weekly video.

[Panhandle Couple]

We watched a U-tube review for NCL which was very negative.

First time cruisers, early 30's.

The refrigerator wasn't hospital quality, so the woman's expressed breast milk spoiled, and her child would starve when they got home.

NCL lied to them about the quality of the refrigerator?

Everything else was complaining that NCL didn't specifically take care of THEM. I think it was a 5 day Encore sailing.

They had to wait in lines!

They didn't get a private table in MDR.

The ports weren't as advertised.

They had tender at GSC.

Etc, etc.

[SoloAlaska]

I love reading one star reviews in general they are often very entertaining. This applies from cruises to random stuff on Amazon and everything in between.

[Purple_Pig]

16 minutes ago, david_sobe said:

2 points I forgot.  When people write "all the staff was rude.  we never encountered a friendly staff member" drives me crazy.  Personally I have never encountered a rude cruise ship worker.  But I am sure they exist somewhere. But to cast all of them as rude is pure rubbish.

Its fair game to say:  the buffet is too crowded.  we could not get a lounger by the pool by 2 pm.  That's fine and expected if you share your experience.  But to make up stuff and warn people about silly stuff is just a bridge too far.  But they are my guilty pleasure because once I read all the NCL reviews, I go to other lines.  Those same people exist over there too.  Another peeve are the people that blame the cruise line when they forget things at port.  I know that sounds insane but I read it all the time as if its  NCL's fault they could not find what they lost and retrieve it back on the ship.

 

In all of cruising I encountered one rude staff member.  It was a bartender on a Carnival cruise.  Years ago but I still remember because it was so odd it stuck out.

[RocketMan275]

My favorite was a woman who complained that after spending tens of thousands on a NCL cruise only to have it ruined by NCL's failure to serve coke.  Her and here family only discovered that NCL served Pepsi and only  Pepsi when they boarded the ship.  NCL owed her a complete refund plus compensation since they did not inform her of this dastardly deed at the time of booking.

[schmoopie17]

1 hour ago, david_sobe said:

What did the room steward do?   Break into the room at midnight and hit you over the head with a frying pan each night? 

Just to clarify, it wasn't at midnight. We came back to the cabin every day while he was still fixing it up and he always took offense. My head still hurts every time I think about it. Maybe I should have tipped him upfront like many others do. 

 

I'm just thankful they discontinued it, or we would have had to live in fear of walking in during the evening turndown service.

[graphicguy]

The ones that I always chuckle about involve people who are oblivious to anyone else on board.  Lines aren't meant for them.  Waiting their turn for anything is something they should not have to do.  There are only 3K-4K others on the ship.  All those other passengers should just get out of their way.  LOL!

[havoc315]

In all seriousness, I like reading the reviews, and the bad reviews are the most helpful.

I'll typically ignore the 5 star reviews --- You paid a ton of money for a vacation, and had a great time.  Wonderful -- that's how it's supposed to be on every vacation, but I may as well just read NCL promotional materials.

 

So in reading the more negative reviews:

-- Many I can easily dismiss as someone who is just difficult to please. ("the comedian wasn't very funny... the ship officers didn't even say hello in the elevator").  Some are complaining about things outside NCL control ("The weather was terrible, the airline lost my luggage"), some are unrealistic expectations ("The airline lost my luggage and the staff barely lifted a finger to rectify it! The toilet got clogged and it took maintenance 2 hours to fix it!")

-- So I look for patterns, I look to see if there are similar complaints popping up frequently.  If someone says, "service at Cagney's was so slow, 2 hours and my steak arrived cold" -- Did that person just suffer from a single bad night, or are those complaints popping up frequently?  

 

I haven't been on NCL in about 10 years, but going on my 3rd NCL cruise this coming summer, so I've been reading the reviews intently.

 

Here is what I've learned from reading the reviews:

-- Expect long lines to get a drink, especially at the pool bars

-- Expect "nickel and diming" -- with lots of the activities being either extra charges, or seeking your money.

 

 

[rodndonna]

9 minutes ago, havoc315 said:

In all seriousness, I like reading the reviews, and the bad reviews are the most helpful.

I'll typically ignore the 5 star reviews --- You paid a ton of money for a vacation, and had a great time.  Wonderful -- that's how it's supposed to be on every vacation, but I may as well just read NCL promotional materials.

 

 

I'm with you - I find the bad reviews as useful, and often times, more useful than good reviews. 

 

We're looking at doing a cruise on the Epic- which appears to me a favourite ship for folks to hate, We really like the itinerary (7 days 7 ports Southern Carib) so was researching what is it people dislike about it so much and then weighing what that means for us.

 

A review full of "rah rah" is often not that informative sometimes.

[havoc315]

34 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

The ones that I always chuckle about involve people who are oblivious to anyone else on board.  Lines aren't meant for them.  Waiting their turn for anything is something they should not have to do.  There are only 3K-4K others on the ship.  All those other passengers should just get out of their way.  LOL!

 

In fairness, depending on degree, I have no problem with people complaining about lines. Long lines can be avoided with proper service and management by the cruise line. If there is a 30 minute line at the bar, maybe there should be 2-3 bar tenders instead of just 1, for example. 

 

So yes, complaining that it took 15 minutes to get through security, or that you had to wait 20 minutes for a table when you showed up at dinner at 6pm...    Those are hyperbolic complaints.

 

But it is fair to expect a cruise line to have adequate planning and adequate staffing to avoid unnecessary backlogs of people. 

 

[chewsifer1220]

14 minutes ago, havoc315 said:

In all seriousness, I like reading the reviews, and the bad reviews are the most helpful.

I'll typically ignore the 5 star reviews --- You paid a ton of money for a vacation, and had a great time.  Wonderful -- that's how it's supposed to be on every vacation, but I may as well just read NCL promotional materials.

 

So in reading the more negative reviews:

-- Many I can easily dismiss as someone who is just difficult to please. ("the comedian wasn't very funny... the ship officers didn't even say hello in the elevator").  Some are complaining about things outside NCL control ("The weather was terrible, the airline lost my luggage"), some are unrealistic expectations ("The airline lost my luggage and the staff barely lifted a finger to rectify it! The toilet got clogged and it took maintenance 2 hours to fix it!")

-- So I look for patterns, I look to see if there are similar complaints popping up frequently.  If someone says, "service at Cagney's was so slow, 2 hours and my steak arrived cold" -- Did that person just suffer from a single bad night, or are those complaints popping up frequently?  

 

I haven't been on NCL in about 10 years, but going on my 3rd NCL cruise this coming summer, so I've been reading the reviews intently.

 

Here is what I've learned from reading the reviews:

-- Expect long lines to get a drink, especially at the pool bars

-- Expect "nickel and diming" -- with lots of the activities being either extra charges, or seeking your money.

 

 

I think you're absolutely spot on about spotting patterns. And sometimes those patterns are only of certain sailings if not certain ships.  I focus on the 2 to 4 star range as those will generally give the most accurate account of a cruise. Filters out the rah rah and the ones who can't be pleased.  I also refrain from reading reviews from certain sites as those tend to be 90% negative.

 

The things I've noticed to be patterns are:

Long lines for drinks and shows. Sometimes for dinner (Cruise time dependent)

Finding a lounger at the pool may be impossible (ship dependent)

Some people will let the smallest thing ruin their cruise 🤷‍♀️

 

[graphicguy]

21 minutes ago, havoc315 said:

 

In fairness, depending on degree, I have no problem with people complaining about lines. Long lines can be avoided with proper service and management by the cruise line. If there is a 30 minute line at the bar, maybe there should be 2-3 bar tenders instead of just 1, for example. 

 

So yes, complaining that it took 15 minutes to get through security, or that you had to wait 20 minutes for a table when you showed up at dinner at 6pm...    Those are hyperbolic complaints.

 

But it is fair to expect a cruise line to have adequate planning and adequate staffing to avoid unnecessary backlogs of people. 

 

Have said this before, if there's a line at the bar you're trying to get a drink, there's another bar within 75 feet more or less to get the drink.  Same with food.  If there's a wait or a line for a dining establishment, there's more than enough dining venues to get food.

 

That said, I just saw a post last week where someone said they wanted to attend a performance at Syd Norman's.  They suggested they would send a family member to hold their place in line while the rest were dining (several people). Yes, the show is good.  Yes, the venue is small.  But, if you're not willing to wait in line with the rest of us, and cut in line when you're done with your meal, I have an issue with that.  I will not allow line cutters in front of me.

[havoc315]

25 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

Have said this before, if there's a line at the bar you're trying to get a drink, there's another bar within 75 feet more or less to get the drink.  Same with food.  If there's a wait or a line for a dining establishment, there's more than enough dining venues to get food.

 

That said, I just saw a post last week where someone said they wanted to attend a performance at Syd Norman's.  They suggested they would send a family member to hold their place in line while the rest were dining (several people). Yes, the show is good.  Yes, the venue is small.  But, if you're not willing to wait in line with the rest of us, and cut in line when you're done with your meal, I have an issue with that.  I will not allow line cutters in front of me.

This is why context is important. 
Is there a line at 1 bar, but no wait if you just walk to the other side of the pool? Or is there a long line at almost every bar? 
 

Is there a 15 minute backup at the buffet at 6:30pm, or a 45 minute back up at 6:30… and a 20 minute back up even at 5pm and 8pm?

 

Your example of Syd Norman’s demonstrates a very valid complaint — entertainment venues built too small for demand, insufficient counter programming to regulate demand. 
 

As to “space savers” in line, it’s still a question of context. Is it an extended party of 12 people, 10 are in line, holding a space for elderly grandparents who move a bit slower…

Or is it the opposite, 1 person saving a space for 10. 

[graphicguy]

3 minutes ago, havoc315 said:

This is why context is important. 
Is there a line at 1 bar, but no wait if you just walk to the other side of the pool? Or is there a long line at almost every bar? 
 

Is there a 15 minute backup at the buffet at 6:30pm, or a 45 minute back up at 6:30… and a 20 minute back up even at 5pm and 8pm?

 

Your example of Syd Norman’s demonstrates a very valid complaint — entertainment venues built too small for demand, insufficient counter programming to regulate demand. 
 

As to “space savers” in line, it’s still a question of context. Is it an extended party of 12 people, 10 are in line, holding a space for elderly grandparents who move a bit slower…

Or is it the opposite, 1 person saving a space for 10. 

It is indeed context.  I was on the Epic a few months ago.  Crowd at the Great Outdoors Bar and Grill.  Spice H20 is no more than a 2 minute walk away to get a drink.  Same with the Garden Cafe.  Crowded, walk a couple of minutes to the Outdoors Grill for food.

 

Or, the MDR for lunch.  Or, hit the Atrium Bar for drinks.  Or, go to O'Sheehans for drinks and food. Point is, it's there.  If you want them to bring it to you, order room service to the cabin.

 

Cavern Club got crowded.  Don't want to wait in line?  Go to the Cavern Club Bar right outside.  You can hear the music and order all the drinks you want.

 

Lines for Syd's?  No one would object holding a spot for Grandpa Henry who can't walk without assistance.  But, you send someone to hold a place in line because your wife, husband, aunty, uncle, cousin, etc doesn't want to wait in line?  Nope.  Not happening if I'm there. 

 

 

[havoc315]

7 minutes ago, graphicguy said:

It is indeed context.  I was on the Epic a few months ago.  Crowd at the Great Outdoors Bar and Grill.  Spice H20 is no more than a 2 minute walk away to get a drink.  Same with the Garden Cafe.  Crowded, walk a couple of minutes to the Outdoors Grill for food.

 

Or, the MDR for lunch.  Or, hit the Atrium Bar for drinks.  Or, go to O'Sheehans for drinks and food. Point is, it's there.  If you want them to bring it to you, order room service to the cabin.

 

Cavern Club got crowded.  Don't want to wait in line?  Go to the Cavern Club Bar right outside.  You can hear the music and order all the drinks you want.

 

Lines for Syd's?  No one would object holding a spot for Grandpa Henry who can't walk without assistance.  But, you send someone to hold a place in line because your wife, husband, aunty, uncle, cousin, etc doesn't want to wait in line?  Nope.  Not happening if I'm there. 

 

 

 

It's often a matter of reasonable versus unreasonable expectations. Some negative reviewers lack cruise experience.  They are shocked to find they have to tender to port, or that cabins are smaller than hotel rooms. 

 

Expecting your room steward to serve as a butler -- Unreasonable. Expecting your room steward to keep your cabin made up, provide towels and blankets -- Reasonable.

 

Expecting to be able to see most, if not all, of a ship's premium entertainment -- Reasonable. Expecting to always get the front row for your preference of times, without reservations, unreasonable.

 

Expecting to be able to get a drink somewhere near the pool without waiting more than 2-4 minutes -- Reasonable. (You shouldn't have walk to a different deck in your swimsuit to grab a beer), expecting premium cocktails on demand with no wait -- Reasonable on a luxury line, not reasonable on a mass consumer line.

 

Even distinguishing between between whether you paid for a Haven experience or regular experience, affects what expectations are reasonable.  Your cabin not being ready by 2pm on embarkation day may not be reasonable complaint for a regular guest, but it would be a reasonable expectation for a Haven guest. 

[Jldevlin]

At dinner one night we heard a woman complaining about her Sting Ray tour...we had been there that day so I sort of leaned over to hear what she was saying.  She had booked a private tour  and there were other boats in the water!!!! It was not private at all, and she wanted all her money back. She really thought it would be just her and her husband in the ocean.

[graphicguy]

Speaking of which...this just showed up on my feed.....

 

https://news.yahoo.com/rudest-things-cruise-according-etiquette-104507143.html

[Langham1865]

3 hours ago, graphicguy said:

 

 

Another time, was sitting in Royal's Anthem of the Seas Diamond Lounge having a bagel when a gentleman sits on the couch next to me with his wife.  We strike up a conversation and find we have a love of muscle cars in common.  His wife spots someone she knows on the other side of the lounge and goes over to chat.  I have a Cobra Convertible that I restored and had some pictures of it on my phone that I showed him.  He started showing me pictures of a restomod Ford F100 he had.  While paging through the pictures, one pops up of his wife....NAKED.  He chuckles and said he meant to delete it.  He keeps scrolling and more and more of his wife's naked pics crop up.  He kept looking to get my response, as it was now clear he was doing it on purpose.  I was way uncomfortable, particularly given she was only about 25 feet away chatting with someone else.  I excused myself.  Never saw him in the Diamond Lounge again.

 

 

@graphicguyeither I've read you mention this before or someone else had the same experience... AWESOME!!!!  cracked me up...