Reassure this worry wart please! Re: safety on ship

I have been reading horror stories about assaults on cruises...usually by crew members. My son is 13 and would like a bit of independence on our upcoming cruise. I'm not planning on letting him wander the ship alone but if he is hungry can he go up to lido and get food by himself for example? Or if we are at the pool can he go to the bathroom alone. I know it sounds ridiculous! However so are the stories if you look for them ( which I wish I had not looked for).

I have been reading horror stories about assaults on cruises...usually by crew members. My son is 13 and would like a bit of independence on our upcoming cruise. I'm not planning on letting him wander the ship alone but if he is hungry can he go up to lido and get food by himself for example? Or if we are at the pool can he go to the bathroom alone. I know it sounds ridiculous! However so are the stories if you look for them ( which I wish I had not looked for).

Cruising is no more dangerous than going to a theme park, or your local mall. If you have taught your son how to act when alone or with strangers, you will be fine. He can certainly go to the restroom by himself (has he gone to sporting events?), and to the lido. Most of what you are reading are incidents that are lumped together on websites that have agendas to make cruising look bad, but you must remember that 22 million people cruised last year.

Cruising is no more dangerous than going to a theme park, or your local mall. If you have taught your son how to act when alone or with strangers, you will be fine. He can certainly go to the restroom by himself (has he gone to sporting events?), and to the lido. Most of what you are reading are incidents that are lumped together on websites that have agendas to make cruising look bad, but you must remember that 22 million people cruised last year.

Excellent response.

It's never a good idea for parents to look for horror stories. There are potential dangers anywhere, and we can't keep our kids from having independence. Many college professors feel strongly that we harm kids more by over-protecting them, so they are not prepared for independence as 18-year-old adults.

My 6-year-old will be using the bathroom by herself. My 13-year-old (who is small for his age) will be hanging out, hopefully making friends, and certainly will be free to go to lido by himself. He knows I check in with him so that he's not misbehaving, and he knows the rules about not going to someone's cabin, not sharing someone's drink, not pushing every button on the elevator ...:rolleyes:

Have him go to the kids club the first night even if he doesn't plan on spending much time in there. He will meet lots of kids his age and will probably spend the rest of the week with them. My boys are still in touch with kids they met on previous cruises.

Ground rules need to be set though. Yes, he can go to Lido and bathroom alone. But one MAJOR rule I have is No one is allowed in your cabin and you are not to go to any one else's cabin. No acceptations!!! That is non-negotiable.

Another thing I do is I get my kids a soda card. For your son it would be $4.50 per day plus 15% gratuity. I tell my kids, if they loose sight of their drink at all, by stepping to the bathroom, or dancing, they are not to pick it up again. Get a new one. By having the soda card, I don't have to worry about cost. Sodas are $2 per can so 2 sodas and its paid for.

As big as these ships are, the public areas are limited so you tend to see the same people all the time. Some of the ships are trying out texting plans so you can keep in touch with him (if he has a phone). It is limited to certain ships and i believe it is $5 per day per phone but I am sure someone else can post more information about it.

It is no unsafer than sending him to school. Have you looked at the number of assaults on students by school staff not counting other students.

If you look you will find horror stories everywhere on any subject. Don't look and add stress to an already stressful life. Incidents are very rare.

I have two daughters, the last cruise we went on they were 12 and 10. I did go over some safety items with them as my husband and I were allowing them a bit more freedom on that cruise then we had on previous cruises. Two biggest things we stressed with them, never take the elevator if by yourself and never enter someone else's cabin (and never let anyone into our cabin). Besides that, we just told them to make sure they were respectful of others and to have fun :)

I have two daughters, the last cruise we went on they were 12 and 10. I did go over some safety items with them as my husband and I were allowing them a bit more freedom on that cruise then we had on previous cruises. Two biggest things we stressed with them, never take the elevator if by yourself and never enter someone else's cabin (and never let anyone into our cabin). Besides that, we just told them to make sure they were respectful of others and to have fun :)

My 10 year old was never in the cabin by themselves so I never had to tell them that. They Never rode the elevators by themselves because I never let the wander the ship.

But I also don't let them wander around my town by themselves either. Since the ship is a city, your rules should reflect the same rules you have at home.

Ships are a small city, with neighbors of all kinds, good and bad. However, many parents let their guard down thinking 4000 new neighbors are all good.

Agree with what's been posted. Like the soda card and 'no cabin' rule at that age. My kids started cruising at something like 15 & 13 and absolutely LOVED IT. And 15 year old daughters hate everything! They couldn't wait for Circle C and then promotion to Club O2. Carnival does a wonderful job for kids. I think they still are FB friends with many kids they met over the several cruises.

In fact we did one last cruise right before daughter turned 18 so she could do the Club one last time. I remember having a loose curfew (they had cabin across the hall) and 'looking the other way' when I knew both violated by about 20 minutes figuring college was merely months away. They're both young adults now so things worked out just fine. Actually we hope to cruise with them again in the not too distant future but apart from a nice wine at dinner their personal bar bill will be their OWN problem! :D

We have a 13 year old and he was allowed to walk the ship by himself. We had no issues whatsoever - but it all depends upon your child and their maturity level. To be honest, there were quite a few adults that we saw should not have been left alone because they always seem to find trouble.:)

Our son spent the majority of his time on the basketball court, playing mini golf, or in the arcade. He always knew where to find us, and we knew where he was. He was respectful of showing up to the room at the time we requested, and would leave us a note if he left to go somewhere. Again, all a matter of maturity.

Have fun on your cruise!!

Let me add that we were somewhat stricter while we were ashore. At no time were minor children allowed to roam without either mom or dad. I'm not talking about going up to buy a soda or use the restroom we were at a beach club or something but there was no 'going to town by yourself' kind of thing.

We also had a rule about dinner. Didn't matter what you did all day on a sea day. But we were eating together as a family every night in the main dining room which everyone enjoyed thoroughly. So get back and get cleaned up. A couple of times the kids would skip out on melting cake because they had places to go and people to see, which was fine. I do remember being angry with my circa 16 son when he was late one night. We had a little 'family chat' at the table and it made things a little tense but we survived and I needed to do my job.

My 10 year old was never in the cabin by themselves so I never had to tell them that. They Never rode the elevators by themselves because I never let the wander the ship.

 

But I also don't let them wander around my town by themselves either. Since the ship is a city, your rules should reflect the same rules you have at home.

 

Ships are a small city, with neighbors of all kinds, good and bad. However, many parents let their guard down thinking 4000 new neighbors are all good.

My cruise rules do reflect my rules at home, so we're good. :) My 10- and 13-year-old kids roam the neighborhood, usually with a pack of friends but they also play "neighborhood tag," which involves hiding from your friends. We know many of our neighbors, but certainly not all of them. Sometimes the 13-year-old walks to the store, where there are even more strangers, none of whom have to pay hundreds of dollars to be near my kids. :eek: I believe that it's a good idea to slowly prepare them for living independent lives, where they'll have to make good decisions without me. Not being overprotective can be one of the hardest jobs a parent has.

I feel so sorry for kids these days.

My 10 year old was never in the cabin by themselves so I never had to tell them that. They Never rode the elevators by themselves because I never let the wander the ship.

 

But I also don't let them wander around my town by themselves either. Since the ship is a city, your rules should reflect the same rules you have at home.

 

Ships are a small city, with neighbors of all kinds, good and bad. However, many parents let their guard down thinking 4000 new neighbors are all good.

Why do I always feel like I have to defend everything I post on these boards?:( It wasn't a matter of letting my daughters wander around the ship (as you put it), but if they needed to run to the cabin for something I didn't feel like I had to escort them every single minute on the ship, or if they wanted to go up to the Lido deck to grab an ice cream, they were okay to do that.

I feel so sorry for kids these days.

If you have college age kids you'll really understand. Helicopter parenting is a huge problem these days on campus. Not that I'm suggesting that anyone on this thread is guilty. But it's all common sense and a few bumps and bruises along the way are simply part of the process.

I have been reading horror stories about assaults on cruises...usually by crew members. My son is 13 and would like a bit of independence on our upcoming cruise. I'm not planning on letting him wander the ship alone but if he is hungry can he go up to lido and get food by himself for example? Or if we are at the pool can he go to the bathroom alone. I know it sounds ridiculous! However so are the stories if you look for them ( which I wish I had not looked for).

Your son (13) will be absolutely fine going to the bathroom, getting food, and lots of other things without you with him every minute.

Try not to worry! :)

LuLu

I have been reading horror stories about assaults on cruises...usually by crew members. My son is 13 and would like a bit of independence on our upcoming cruise. I'm not planning on letting him wander the ship alone but if he is hungry can he go up to lido and get food by himself for example? Or if we are at the pool can he go to the bathroom alone. I know it sounds ridiculous! However so are the stories if you look for them ( which I wish I had not looked for).

Personally, no child should ever be allowed to walk alone around the ship at any time. Make sure he partners up with someone, and be that someone when there's no one.

At that age it would be fine to send him to the buffet. Just follow the same rules as you would at any other destination you would travel. If kids are well behaved I believe a little leeway for somethings, but not to go off by themselves for a long period of time. You have to do what you are comfortable with. I would have a talk with him about what you expect from him and the consequences are if he breaks your rules and follow through with them.

Personally, no child should ever be allowed to walk alone around the ship at any time. Make sure he partners up with someone, and be that someone when there's no one.

That's a pretty strong statement you've made. I'd venture that many would disagree with you. I believe the OP was referring to her 13 yo son. Not to go too far down this discussion but......

Statistically your son is more likely to be injured on the drive to the port than on the cruise ship. I know, statistics rarely allay emotional fears. But drive safe, and you'll all be fine.

That's a pretty strong statement you've made. I'd venture that many would disagree with you. I believe the OP was referring to her 13 yo son. Not to go too far down this discussion but......

Perhaps you and she would like to review crimes at sea. They are never listed in the cruise brochures. They DON'T want you to know about it.

Perhaps you and she would like to review crimes at sea. They are never listed in the cruise brochures. They DON'T want you to know about it.

But they are required to be reported on the cruise lines' websites. And these statistics include the rates of the same crimes for the general populace in the US, and are almost invariably less than the general crime rates.

But they are required to be reported on the cruise lines' websites. And these statistics include the rates of the same crimes for the general populace in the US, and are almost invariably less than the general crime rates.

Yes they are. But even CCL doesn't post them where you would think. They are hidden in their Corporate web page.

Do teach your kids to respect the "Crew Only Area" Doors will be marked but not locked.

Yes they are. But even CCL doesn't post them where you would think. They are hidden in their Corporate web page.

But do Walmart, hotels, or resorts other than cruise ships have to post crime statistics? Where does a percentage of those "general populace" crimes happen?