REVIEW: "Italy & Dalmatian Coast" / Constellation / 30-AUG-2015 (with photos)

Friends, it’s time to suffer through another of my overly-detailed cruise reviews. If you’re not familiar with my style, I trend toward sarcasm and light-hearted ribbing. In other words, I usually mean no malice, unless I indicate otherwise. I can’t tell you not to be offended. I can only tell you I don’t intend to offend. Also, I'll be adding a link in my signature if you care to see additional photos from each stop. With that out of the way, let’s get to the story…

It was during our 2014 sailing on Summit to Canada & New England that we got hijacked by the pirates at the Future Cruises desk. We narrowed down our choices to Solstice to New Zealand over Thanksgiving or Constellation to the Adriatic over Labor Day. If you’ve read this far, that means you presumably read the title, so you win the prize. Your reward is the rest of my review.

ITINERARY

• Sun, AUG 30 – Venice
  
• Mon, AUG 31 – Venice
  
• Tue, SEP 01 – Koper, Slovenia
  
• Wed, SEP 02 – Ravenna, Italy
  
• Thu, SEP 03 – Split, Croatia (scheduled to tender)
  
• Fri, SEP 04 – Dubrovnik, Croatia
  
• Sat, SEP 05 – Kotor, Montenegro (tendered)
  
• Sun, SEP 06 – Sea Day
  
• Mon, SEP 07 – Valletta, Malta
  
• Tue, SEP 08 – Catania, Sicily
  
• Wed, SEP 09 – Naples
  
• Thu, SEP 10 – Rome (Civitavecchia)
  

We are hardcore fans of the aft-facing cabins and – while the Family Verandas on the M-class corners have that magnificent veranda – Concierge class has enough perks and additional CC points for us to go that route instead. We found only one C1 on the back available and it happened to be #9164, a wheelchair-accessible on Deck 9. I was apprehensive about being directly below the Oceanview Bar, having heard from others that it was noisy. But it was the only option available and we took it.

Saturday, August 29 – Sunday, August 30 / Houston to Venice

WX: 90F + partly cloudy (Houston) / 90F + sunny (Venice)

Also in port: MSC Musica, MSC Magnifica, MSC Opera, Costa Deliziosa, AIDAvita

The main reason New Zealand lost to the Adriatic was airfare. The cost of a flight to Europe is significantly less than NZ, which made the decision easier. We’ll knock an Australia/NZ itinerary off the list when we have enough miles accrued with United to go First Class. Our last trip to Italy was on miles and required us to break the trip over at IAD, as well as FRA, which, frankly, sucked. Since we weren’t using miles this time, we booked IAH-EWR, then picked up United’s new seasonal route, EWR-VCE. My wife even spent a little extra for United’s Economy Plus, which adds a few extra inches of leg room. My main complaint on 2012’s IAD-FRA leg was being 6’5” (198 cm) and stuffed into a middle economy seat. This flight was on a 767-400ER (2-3-2) and we snagged a pair of outside seats.

Friday evening, I checked in on United’s website and printed our boarding passes. I was happy to see the TSA Pre-Check logo, which came with our newly-acquired Global Entry cards. My wife is a bit of a Luddite when it comes to air travel and doesn’t trust electronic boarding passes for some reason. I have United’s app on my phone and it is super handy to have boarding passes, as well as updated gate information a click away.

My mother-in-law drove us to the airport and dropped us at Terminal E, where we found the Pre-Check line “just” closed. Disgruntled, we joined the queue and ended up going through the Pre-Check side of the screening area, anyway. My app indicated we were scheduled for gate E11, but the sign at the gate was for San Diego. The app – while handy – sometimes takes a minute to update. Our new gate was C21. Not only was it in a different terminal, but it was on the absolute far end of the farthest pier. Looking back, this schlep was probably a harbinger of what would be a common theme throughout our vacation.

UA1549 was on a Boeing 737-900 that looked and smelled like it had recently been refit. We pushed from the gate on-time at 12:00, departed without delay and had a smooth flight. We landed a few minutes early and my handy app indicated our connecting flight was to depart from gate C110. That was convenient, because we arrived at gate C113. Wait….the sign says something different. New gate: C98. At the far end of another pier. Ugh. On the way to our new gate, we grabbed a quick sandwich in the food court and arrived at our gate with a couple of minutes to spare before boarding commenced.

UA170 was on a Boeing 767-400 and we had the aforementioned pair of seats in the second row of Economy Plus on the starboard side. I have never been in an economy seat where my knees didn’t rub the seatback in front of me. The room I had here was amazing for Steerage Class. I’m not sure how much extra we paid, but it was worth it! Unfortunately, I was still unable to sleep, despite the extra room and I ended up watching “Kingsman” and “Horrible Bosses 2” to pass the time.

The approach into VCE. You can see the cruise terminal just over the engine. Connie is the left ship in the closest berths. Don't let the quality of this photo dissuade you from checking out the rest!

2015-10-15_10-52-45 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The approach into VCE brought us in from the west and since I was on the starboard side, it offered me a view of the city. I could clearly see Constellation at her berth, along with several other large cruise ships and yet another heading in through the Canale della Giudecca. Our plane was on the ground around 08:45 and – despite arriving with an American Airlines flight from PHL – we made it through Italian immigration fairly quickly. Checking passports must be the most boring job in the world, judging by the looks on their faces and the enthusiasm with which they stamped our passports.

With the success we’ve had with Celebrity’s airport transfers, we opted for it again on this trip. A Celebrity rep was readily visible outside the baggage claim and once we gathered everyone on the roster, we followed like ducklings from the baggage claim, down the sidewalk, across a street, through a parking lot and onto a motor coach. I won’t hold the hike against Celebrity too much, as it looked like there was some construction that prohibited busses from pulling up right outside. It was about 20 minutes to the port from VCE and the coach dropped us off right next to the terminal building, which opened for business as we walked up. The timing was perfect.

We had a short wait inside, as the counter personnel were still getting situated, but the building was air conditioned, so it was fine. We were sitting close to the line marked for Concierge, so when they took down the cordon, we were first in line. Check-in went without a single hiccup and we joined the queue to wait for access to the ship. We did not have to give up our passports as we did on Equinox back in 2012 on an Eastern Med itinerary. I did notice that this check-in differed from ours in the past in that our photos were taken on the ship, rather than at the check-in desk. Venice is one of those ports where you go through your x-ray and metal detector screenings on the pier, rather than on board.

By this time, it was around 11:00 and we knew we wouldn’t be able to go to the room for a while, so we parked in Oceanview Café (hereafter referred to as “OVC”) where we grazed, read and planned until 13:30, when the announcement was made that passengers could go to their cabins.

One of the favorable aspects of 9164’s location is the proximity to the aft stairs and elevators. From our table near the back of Oceanview, it was literally a minute to our cabin. The cabin was prepped and perfect, as expected. The extra width was really apparent when walking in and I estimated it was about the same size as an S-class S2 cabin. The bathroom was enormous and appeared to be in better shape than the FV cabin we had on Summit last year. The shower was big enough to turn around in and had the upgraded shower head that comes with Concierge cabins. Being a wheelchair-accessible cabin, the threshold into the bathroom had a bit of a ramp coming in from the bedroom, which caught me off guard a few times. For such a large room, I was disappointed in the cabinet space. One double-door wardrobe with a ½ wardrobe containing drawers and the safe were all that was provided. I guess I expected at least another ½ for hanging clothes. Or maybe, as I realized while I unpacked, I should stop packing so much. I easily outpacked my wife. There was a wide chair on the far side of the bed that ended up being just another horizontal surface on which to stow our stuff. My wife said she discovered it was a fold-out bed. Based on the size, it had to be not much more than a cot. The veranda was typical of M-class aft verandas in that it was enormous. The overhang was solid about 2/3 of the way back with a metal-framed vinyl cover extending out to the railing. I noted almost immediately the noise from Oceanview Bar, but it wasn’t as obnoxious as I feared. Furniture on the veranda included a small table, two mesh chairs, two mesh chairs that reclined a little, plus two mesh footstools.

Overview of the room

CON003 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The bathroom. (obviously)

CON004 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The veranda

CON005 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

After we dumped our stuff, we set out to milk as much touring time out of the remaining daylight. I wanted a nap very badly, but not enough to waste what might be my only visit to Venice. We walked about 10-15 minutes to the water bus station at P. de Roma. I suggest to anyone thinking of visiting Venice and relying on public transportation that they familiarize themselves with the routes and procedures beforehand. There is a station at the cruise port, but it’s for a private line and is a little more expensive. Looking back, I’d have eaten the difference for the convenience. We tried to purchase our day passes from a biglietteria vending machine, but it wouldn’t accept our cash. I ended up swiping my Visa, which it liked and coughed up our biglets. We hopped on the first bus that pulled up, which took us in a counter-clockwise direction and made several stops along the way and we got off at P. de Zaccharia, just outside the Doge’s Palace.

A water bus, typical of public transit in Venice.

VEN002 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The area around Piazza San Marco was absolutely mobbed with tourists. The line to enter the basilica was too long for my taste and a sign banning photography inside the church killed it for me. Disappointingly, about half the façade was under scaffolding, which was to be a common theme throughout our trip, as well. We wandered aimlessly from the Piazza, under the big, blue clock and in the general direction of the Rialto Bridge. With no real schedule to follow, we meandered at our own pace and discretion. There were signs at major intersections (keeping in mind a “major intersection” would be like two back alleys crossing in most cities) pointing the way to various attractions and finding the Rialto Bridge wasn’t difficult. Unfortunately, the bridge was under scaffolding, as well, with a big canvas over it and an advertisement for some retail store. We wandered a while more and eventually found another water bus station along the Grand Canal. We rode that bus back around to Piazza San Marco, where we picked up another bus back toward the cruise terminal. On the return trip, we hopped off a little closer, but it was still about 10 minutes to the terminal.

St Mark's Square, the Campanile (bell tower) and Doge's Palace (big beige building dominating the right side.

VEN015 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Too late for our scheduled 18:00 dinner seating, we opted for OVC. After dinner, we had a couple of cocktails at OV Bar, where we met this sailing’s bartender-of-choice. We seem to find one bartender we prefer over any other and found I Wayan (“Ee-way-ahn”) from Bali. After drinks, it was back to the room to shower and collapse from exhaustion. I lost count, but estimate I’d been up for around 36 hours at this point. We’d planned to head back out for some night photos, but I was so tired and the Rialto Bridge scaffolding made it not worth the effort.

Great start to the review :); looking forward to reading more, especially as we're on Connie next year in one of those aft C1s (not accessible though) ;).

We were also on this cruise so really looking forward to reading more. Thanks for doing it :)

Monday, August 31 / Venice

WX: 90F + fog > partly cloudy > sunny

Also in port: Thomson Majesty, Nieuw Amsterdam, MSC Opera, Silver Wind

Our day’s excursion had us up at an ungodly 07:15 and a glance out the window revealed we were socked-in with fog so thick you couldn't see one end of the ship from the other. After breakfast at OVC, we went to the excursion muster in the theater on Deck 4. Our excursion was described as visiting a glass shop in Murano, followed by a gondola ride on the Grand Canal. Since it was Venice and that’s how Venetians get around, our tour was aboard a covered tour boat and we boarded directly from Deck 1 as we would if it were a tendered port. We puttered through the fog to Murano with not much to see along the way. What I could see I shot, as the fog gave a nice mood to the compositions.

Foggy, but not a total loss.

VEN058 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

It was at Murano where our disappointment was realized. My wife absolutely loves Murano glass and we thought we’d have ample time to wander Murano and browse at our leisure. That’s not what we got. The boat deposited us at a place where we were led into a small glass shop not much bigger than the ones onboard a few of the S-class ships. We watched as one of the craftsmen cranked out a small horse. It took about five minutes for him to finish, at which point we were herded into the shop’s store. Sure, the glasswork was pretty stunning, but no photographs were allowed (but I'm a ninja and did it anyway) and it was clear we were there to have a sales pitch. Looking back on it, I’m a little disappointed in myself for not realizing that when the Shore Excursions literature says you’ll visit any kind of shop, it’s a sales excursion thinly disguised as an educational experience. We did end up purchasing a few small items, but only because it was apparent we wouldn’t have a chance to browse the island’s other offerings. Were we to go back or if anyone sought my advice, I’d say the better bet for a thorough Murano visit would be to go on your own via water bus.

The five-minute horse.

VEN063 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Back on the boat, our next stop was San Giorgio, where we followed our guide a few blocks to the Grand Canal and our gondola ride. We were split into groups of six for the ride. Our gondolier took us up some very narrow canals with the ease you’d expect from someone who’s been doing it for years. We wandered through the labyrinth of canals for about 20 minutes before we were dropped back at the gondola stop. There were a few stragglers held up in “traffic”, so the guide told us we could go back to the tour boat on our own.

Mandatory "wife on a gondola" shot.

VEN081 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

During the gondola experience, the fog lifted and the cloudy skies were rapidly improving. By the time we reached our next stop – San Giorgio Maggiore – it was almost totally clear. We were given fifteen minutes to poke around at this stop, which is the big church and bell tower across the big canal from Piazza San Marco. My wife is eternally paranoid that we’ll be late and get stuck when the tour bus leaves, so she didn’t go up to the top of the bell tower with me. As a matter of fact, I don’t recall anyone else from our tour going up, either. That’s really a shame, because the view from up there is spectacular.

St Mark's Square from the bell tower at San Giorgio Maggiore. Too many people for my taste.

VEN100 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

From San Giorgio, we were taken back to the cruise terminal. We hiked back to the ship (the tour boat dock isn’t really close to the northernmost cruise ship berths) and had a late lunch at OVC. By this point, it was about time for the muster drill. Our assigned area was in the Rendez Vous Lounge and by getting there early, we were able to get chairs.

Immediately after the muster, we headed to Deck 4 up by the theater, where we gathered for an invitation-only sail away on the helipad for those who registered for the Cruise Critic Connections party. I’d never been on the helipad on previous cruises and this was certainly one port where it would be stellar, so I was pretty geeked about the opportunity. We were given champagne and it wasn’t long before we were underway. There were about fifty in attendance, by my estimation, and it looked like everyone enjoyed themselves. I clicked away until we were exiting the lagoon and were politely told that the event was over.

San Giorgio Maggiore, shot from the CC Connections party on the helipad during sail away. (Note: That's the bell tower I referred to above)

VEN120 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

We wandered back up to the Oceanview Bar, where I Wayan poured rum punches for my wife and Citron & Sprites for me. We grazed in the buffet, since the sail away went well into our assigned dinner time. Still working off the exhaustion from the flight over, we retired to the room early for the night.

I Wayan, our bartender of choice.

CON074 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Matt..enjoying the pictures and narrative...looking forward to following you along your journey.:D

Tuesday, September 1 / Koper, Slovenia (day trip to Ljubljana)

WX: 80F + sunny

Also in port: none

Yet again, we were up at 07:15 in order to have breakfast before we had to gather in the theater for our excursion. The day’s excursion was a day trip to Ljubljana, the capital of Slovenia. We boarded a motor coach on the pier for the 1.5 hour ride to Ljubljana. Our guide was a Koper native who spoke English with hardly any accent. He seemed well-versed in his history and told us about growing up in Eastern Bloc Yugoslavia under Tito. I was surprised to see how clean Slovenia was. The highways had hardly any litter and were in excellent condition. I guess I expected a grimy, crumbling ex-Eastern Bloc dump. We stopped after about an hour at what amounted to a truck stop for those with small bladders to relieve themselves. I noted with amusement that a man and small boy pulled up next to us and stood right in front of our bus – in full view of God and everyone – pulled out their accouterments and peed at the side of the parking lot. I’d just seen a trucker at another facility we passed assuming the stance of one relieving himself on the side of the road, but dismissed it as either misunderstanding what I saw or just a random act by a heathen. But the man and boy in front of us led me to believe it was commonplace. So there’s that.

Leisurely cruise on the river in Ljubljana. Our tour boat was identical to the one in the photo.

SLO001 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

SLO006 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

In Ljubljana, we offloaded and walked down the bank of a river to a tour barge. The skies were clear and it was a very pleasant 70F. The river ride was peaceful and the river was as clean as I’d noted about the highway. It was the first day of school and kids could be seen on their way to school. Our guide told us it was a tradition for kids entering their first year of secondary school (so, “freshmen”) to be targeted by older kids for some light-hearted hazing that involved writing an “F” on their faces and the occasional egg smashed in the hair. I’m not sure when these kids were supposed to actually be at school, but there were packs of teenagers roaming the city the whole time we were there. A “traditional Slovenian” lunch was included in the tour and I was relieved that it was not only edible, but pretty tasty. It was a turkey breast in Hollandaise sauce with potatoes, wine and water. They served something like an apple crisp for dessert.

From lunch, we were set free to wander on our own for a couple of hours. My wife (aka “Camera Sherpa”) and I started at the Cathedral of St Nicholas, which was just a few steps from the restaurant. The church has fascinating doors – patinated bronze doors with religious relief scenes. Inside, the sanctuary is appointed with paintings and gold leaf as ornate as any cathedral in Rome. Definitely worth a stop if you find yourself in old town Ljubljana. After strolling aimlessly through downtown, we met up in front of City Hall at the agreed time and were whisked away, back to Koper.

Two hazing victims.

SLO011 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

One of the bronze doors at the Church of St Nicholas.

SLO017 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Inside St Nicholas.

SLO020 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The Old Town.

SLO027 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Back on the Connie, we showered and dressed for dinner. This was the first of two formal nights, which we enjoy so much, we specifically scheduled dinner at Tuscan Grille so we didn’t have to get dressed up. This was our third cruise without schlepping a suit, evening gown and associated festoonations and we have yet to regret it. Camera Sherpa had a tomato & mozzarella salad, crab cake, sea bass with eggplant parmesan and her favorite chocolate fondue for dessert. I had the fried calamari, minestrone, shrimp & scallops en brochette and the pistachio crème brulee for dessert. The service was perfect, as we have come to expect with Celebrity’s alternative dining venues.

We left as full as ticks and wandered around the ship in a feeble attempt to work off what we’d just consumed. Wouldn’t you know it? We wandered too close to the Future Cruises office, where my wife surprised me by picking up a few itineraries. This was unexpected, as we’d planned to take 2016 off from cruising to take care of some projects around the house. We spent the next couple of hours with I Wayan at Ocenaview Bar, who kept us well-lubricated while we plotted and planned.

We also stopped by Shore Excursions to cancel our Split excursion. I don’t even remember what we signed up for, but here we were on Day 3, about to get up extra early the next morning for an excursion and we hadn’t felt relaxed since we arrived. We needed a break and Split looked like a good candidate.

Oh goodygoody gumdrops! We were on this cruise too. Looking forward to seeing your pics and reading about your experience. :)

Hi,

I just happened to stumble across your blog on here! We are going on Constellation next Friday. Often thought of using Flickr and have created an account this morning on the strength of viewing your wonderful pictures.

I note that you use a Canon 5D. We have the 7D, may I ask what lens/s you are using?

Keep the blog coming! Love the sense of humour! I too get to carry the camers!

Thanks Jane

I'm enjoying your report, I think we've been to all your ports, but it good to revisit via your photos.

We went to Murano via a 'free' motor launch, which we picked up close to the water taxi terminus. Not long after the visit around the factory, I realised why the transport was free- the prices at the factory shop were exorbitant. We did get to look around Murano itself though. We had to make our own way back to St Marks square via a 'service water bus.'

I hope you didn't regret cancelling your tour to Split. I will never forget how long it took us to tender- 3 hrs. We were told to pick up our tender tickets when we were ready, after breakfast. I think most passengers picked theirs up before breakfast, we had tickets #35!!!

We weren't Elite then either, so had no priority tendering. I worked hard after that experience to become Elite!!

 

I hope you didn't regret cancelling your tour to Split. I will never forget how long it took us to tender- 3 hrs. We were told to pick up our tender tickets when we were ready, after breakfast. I think most passengers picked theirs up before breakfast, we had tickets #35!!!

We weren't Elite then either, so had no priority tendering. I worked hard after that experience to become Elite!!

They didn't issue tender tickets on this cruise (or the one before it - we did B2B). You just turned up when ready to go ashore. It seemed to work well, but we are normally early birds.

Great review! Love your photos!!

Hi,

I just happened to stumble across your blog on here! We are going on Constellation next Friday. Often thought of using Flickr and have created an account this morning on the strength of viewing your wonderful pictures.

I note that you use a Canon 5D. We have the 7D, may I ask what lens/s you are using?

Keep the blog coming! Love the sense of humour! I too get to carry the camers!

Thanks Jane

Hi Jane. The workhorse is the Canon 24-105mm. Longer shots are with the Canon 100-400mm and the superwide and fisheye shots are on the Canon 8-15mm.

I'm enjoying your report, I think we've been to all your ports, but it good to revisit via your photos.

We went to Murano via a 'free' motor launch, which we picked up close to the water taxi terminus. Not long after the visit around the factory, I realised why the transport was free- the prices at the factory shop were exorbitant. We did get to look around Murano itself though. We had to make our own way back to St Marks square via a 'service water bus.'

Hindsight, as they say. Guess we'll just have to go back. Shucks...

I hope you didn't regret cancelling your tour to Split. I will never forget how long it took us to tender- 3 hrs. We were told to pick up our tender tickets when we were ready, after breakfast. I think most passengers picked theirs up before breakfast, we had tickets #35!!!

We weren't Elite then either, so had no priority tendering. I worked hard after that experience to become Elite!!

We were scheduled to tender, but docked instead. Kotor was the only tender.

I doubt we missed anything. We were so tired from the previous days we wanted to take it easy. That part of the review is coming up soon.

Since we were on this cruise as well, I am really enjoying your review.

Great to read your review, we are doing Italy and the Dalmation coast next May on the Connie, so have a vested interest!!!! :D

Loving your review and great photos.

We will have a C1 aft on deck 9 next summer on the Constellation, one of my favorite ships. Was hoping for two loungers plus table and chairs on our balcony.

The OV bar is my favorite during the afternoon and even late at night.Love eating breakfast or lunch out there too.

The menu at Tuscan Grills sound heavenly. We will eat at both specialty venues on our cruise too. Love the idea of skipping formal night . We will be on a 15 day cruise along with four day before and after. Don't want to take formal clothes when traveling in July around Spain.

Wednesday, September 2 / Ravenna (day trip to Florence)

WX: 75F + partly cloudy (Ravenna) / 90F + mostly sunny (Florence)

Also in port: none

Ugh. I cursed our choice to take a 9.5 hour day trip that required we be up at 06:15 in order to grab breakfast. The ungodly hour did allow me to catch the sunrise, which was nothing short of magnificent.

The reward for getting up early.

RAV001 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

For this stop, it was a toss-up as to which excursion we’d take. There’s absolutely nothing that I could see within walking distance of the cruise terminal, which is actually not in Ravenna, but a seaside fishing village. There was a beach just to the north, but I didn’t see how you’d get there from the ship. It was pretty crowded by the time we got back to the ship. Our choice was a day trip to Florence, by way of Bologna. Open another browser window and look up Florence, Bologna and Ravenna on Google Earth so you can follow along. I’ll wait to continue while you do that. The coach picked us up on the pier and our guide – a nice woman with a strong, but understandable accent – started her spiel right away. We drove through the small fishing village where the cruise terminal was built and through a wetland to the main highway. Bologna is approximately 1.5 hours from Ravenna by bus, with rolling countryside covered in vineyards and other agricultural farms. The coach deposited us at the Bologna train terminal and it was only a few minutes’ wait until our train arrived. I’m kind of a train dork, among other nerdy interests, so I was really looking forward to riding the Frecciarossa train to Florence. Our group had assigned seats, though they were not necessarily together. But we were at least in the same car and I think everyone was able to sit with their spouses or travel companions. Unfortunately, while the train was definitely moving at a healthy clip, I found the sensation of wonder was lost, as about 40 of the 45 minutes were in tunnels.

The Frecciarossa train. This shot was actually from the return leg, but I don't care. I'm gonna show it to you anyway.

FLO042 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

At the Florence train depot, we met with another guide, who took over from the first and would lead the Florence part of the tour for the remainder. She, too, had a thick accent that was easily understood and I was amused that when she slowed her speech to make an important point, she almost sounded Jamaican. I know…I know… But that’s what it sounded like. I can’t explain it.

Florence was an easy town to navigate, but being a major tourist destination, it was also downright packed with the critters. I saw other obvious cruise tours from MSC and Disney, but I’m not convinced it was cruise ships that were to blame for the wall-to-wall humanity. Anyway, we followed our mother duck like good little ducklings, listening to her ramble on about the important history of Florence through little radio earbuds. At one point, I got distracted by a police van with a bunch of bored-looking riot cops sitting inside. As I clicked a photo, one gave me a double thumbs-up. I’d brought along a handful of patches from my department and handed them out to the guys inside, receiving one of theirs in return.

That wasn’t our only brush with the law. We were on the Ponte Vecchio (famous old bridge over the Arno) when a couple of Carabinieri bird-dogged a trio of those street vendors that are everywhere tourists gather. The street vendors scattered and nearly knocked our guides to the ground, which shook them, but did no actual harm.

Are these not the coolest cops you've ever seen? They were motorcycle cops and not the ones who were chasing the street vendors.

FLO012 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Ponte Vecchio

FLO014 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

At the Piazza di Santa Croce, our guides set us free to explore on our own for a couple of hours. Camera Sherpa and I decided to check out the Basilica di Santa Croce di Firenze on the other end of the piazza, as the guide said it was worth a look. “Worth a look” was a grave understatement. At the ticket counter, my wife had to purchase a €1 cover, due to her shorts being above her knee. The church is stunning inside, with soaring, beamed ceilings and towering stained glass windows behind the altar. The far end has a stained glass rose window and each side chapel has its own window. But if you can pull yourself away from the artistic beauty, you’ll be struck by the number of famous names on the tombs along the walls, such as Galileo and Machiavelli. I was specifically impressed with Galileo’s tomb, which features a bust of him, holding a telescope.

Galileo's tomb

FLO019 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The altar and stained glass is worth the stop, alone.

FLO023 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

(continued in next post)

(continuing the previous post due to photo limits)

Another of the fantastic stained glass.

FLO029 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

We wandered in the general direction of the Cathedral of Saint Mary (il Duomo; the church that’s most associated and recognizable in Florence), where we were supposed to meet the tour guide. On the way, we stopped at a little hole-in-the-wall sandwich shop for lunch, where I had a salami & mozzarella on poppyseed croissant that was phenomenal. We also had time to track down a watch shop to replace the battery in my watch, which picked the middle of our vacation to go dead. Despite the lofty praise I just heaped on the sandwich, perhaps the culinary highlight of Florence was a gelato and chocolate shop along Via dei Calzaiuoli (a few blocks south of the Duomo). Yes, the chocolate and chocolate chip gelato was Heaven-in-a-cup, but there’s a chocolate fountain behind the counter that has a chocolatefall of liquid chocolate that runs down the wall and over a sign.

I wanted to put my whole face in it, but I doubt they'd have let me.

FLO034 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Il Duomo

FLO039 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Everyone met back up at the bell tower like good little ducklings and we walked back to the Florence train depot for the trip back. We waited around in the station for about 15 minutes until our train’s assigned track popped up on the boards. The remainder of the return trip was uneventful and the first guide gave minimal narration until we got close to the port.

The ship’s scheduled departure time was 19:00, if I recall correctly, and this would be our first evening to dine in the San Marco dining room (MDR). We went to our assigned table and found it was a 2-top next to one of the big, circular windows along the starboard side. I think we took our waitstaff by surprise, having not been there for the first three nights, as they seemed like they didn’t know if we should be there. It got sorted out easily and we were introduced to our waiter, Leeford (from Jamaica), and his assistant, Liutciia (that’s how she spelled it; from Russia). Leeford wasn’t bad, but we never felt like we connected with him. Liutciia, on the other hand, was awesome. She knew our names and iced tea preference right away and even engaged us outside OVC, where she was squirting hand gel the next day. Our adjacent table (which might as well have been connected to ours to make a 4-top) was occupied by a pair of pleasant French-Canadian ladies, continuing our streak of traveling with wonderful Canadians. Each night we were at the MDR, we discussed our day’s activities with them, but they also left us alone when we wanted our privacy, which was nice. Camera Sherpa can be resistant to try new cuisine, so Leeford and Liutciia could almost predict her order each night. On this occasion, she had the shrimp cocktail, Ceasar salad, rigatoni, and chocolate cheesecake. I had my favorite appetizer, escargot, my favorite soup, French onion, grilled salmon, and my favorite MDR dessert, crème brulee.

A sunset to match the sunrise and bookend the day.

RAV009 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

We went back to the room to freshen up and enjoy the sunset from our veranda as we sailed away from Ravenna. Later, we visited I Wayan for rum punches and Citron & Sprites. The evening show was a Broadway vocalist, who sang some Broadway songs and some other pop songs most people would recognize. She had a nice voice, but wasn’t anyone I’d pay to see.

After the main show, they ran Liar’s Club in the theater. We caught this show on Summit last year and it was hilarious. The idea is three crew members are presented with uncommon words and they come up with definitions. Only one definition is correct and the audience has to vote by applause. On Summit, it was the Captain, Hotel Director and Cruise Director, who all had fantastic senses of humor and worked well together. Unfortunately, they used the same three words this time and there was very little chemistry between the crew members (Cruise Director, Activities Manager and a guest vocalist from a previous night who seemed like a last-second substitution). At any rate, if they’d use different words and spend five minutes rehearsing, maybe this would fly. Until then, I’ll take the opportunity to go to bed early.

Thanks for your review! Can't wait for the rest of the ports. We are taking a very similar cruise in June.

Cheers!

Thursday, September 3 / Split, Croatia

WX: 85F + partly cloudy

Also in port: Costa Mediterranea, Le Lyrial

Sweet, merciful sleep! Having cancelled our excursion for this stop, we slept in until almost 10:30 before we dragged our carcasses up to the buffet for a late breakfast. The itinerary called for us to tender here, but it was announced a few days earlier that we'd be able to dock. With no schedule, we set out on our own to poke around town near the cruise terminal, which was very busy with a Costa ship, several ferries and even a seaplane base. The cruise/ferry terminal, itself, was a little more what I expected of former Eastern Bloc facilities. Old, derelict buildings with crumbling facades ringed the port, but it looked like there was an effort underway to rebuild. Construction equipment was hard at work, building what looked like an extension to the piers. Some of the derelict structures looked vacant, with some demolition evident. Exploring the town was easy and we started by asking a cab driver on the pier to take us to a beach. His English was limited and he seemed most interested in taking us on a pre-planned route for forty euros. We showed him which beach we wanted to visit and he gestured to a small hill, indicating that A) there was a beach on the other side, and B) such a short trip was a waste of his time. Fine. I turned my phone on and ascertained through Google Maps that there was indeed a beach beyond the hill. The first one we came to was less of a beach and more of a bunch of boulders in the water with concrete and asphalt poured in the gaps. Locals in various states of nudity were splayed on the rocks like beached sea lions. So we soldiered on and found a legitimate sandy beach a bit farther. I laughed at a sign near the entrance that listed rules, the last of which was “No Sex On The Beach.” I wondered if that was a regulation against fornicating in the sand or a warning not to order a specific cocktail. We weren’t planning on having either, so we scooped our jarful of sand and left.

Can't visit the former-Yugoslavia and not see a Yugo! Those Americans under 30 are excused from knowing the significance of this.

SPL003 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

We eventually wandered into the area around Diocletian’s Palace, which seemed to be the main thing to see in the port area of Split. We bought a ticket at the church that got us admission to all parts of the church, including the bell tower. The cathedral (calling it that is a stretch) was nice, but tiny. There wasn’t much to the crypt, other than a gated pool and a bell. The baptistery was worth a look. It was small, but has an interesting statue of Jesus that looks like he’s had enough of your shenanigans and is counting to five (he’s holding four fingers up) before he smites you. The bell tower was the main attraction for us. It is definitely NOT for people afraid of heights. One young woman ahead of us froze up on a landing and wouldn’t move, despite the steady stream of people trying to navigate past her. The stone steps on the lower section are awfully steep and the passage so narrow I had to twist slightly sideways to get through. But the real fun starts on the metal stairs that corkscrew up the interior of the tower. They’re the kind of stairs with no risers (the up/down part between steps) and the occasional landing with structurally questionable patch welding. It’s also a two-way street, so you encounter folks going the opposite direction and hope common courtesy is indeed common. It’s worth noting that as we passed the actual bells, we did so at the quarter-hour and there was no warning to cover the ears. Just a massive BONG! The view one is awarded at the top is unsurpassed, though, which one does not need their recently-ruptured eardrums to appreciate.

The bell tower in Diocletian's Palace.

SPL004 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Looking toward the port (obviously) from the bell tower.

SPL010 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The bloody bells and dodgy stairs.

SPL016 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

We made our way back to the port (I’m going to stop calling it a “cruise terminal,” because that assumes there is infrastructure in place to cater specifically to cruise ships) and had a late lunch at the Pool Grill. The pool looked so inviting and it had been so hot the past few days that we changed into our suits and flopped in the pool for a couple of hours.

On the way to the MDR that evening, we stopped by the Future Cruises lair and the manager ran some numbers for us so we could continue mulling over dinner. Dinner service was abnormally slow that evening. It didn’t look like the waitstaff’s fault, as no one was getting their food in a timely manner. But there was no hurry. We were on Island Time, after all. The Sherpa had the crab cake, Ceasar, braised short ribs, and her chocolate cheesecake. I had the escargot, cream of broccoli soup, baked chicken saltimbocca, and apple tart tatin.

The evening production show was “Land of Make Believe.” The show was an amalgamation of Sleeping Beauty, Snow White, and Cinderella all mixed up in an Alice In Wonderland broth. It was entertaining enough to hold my attention, but not one of the best shows I’ve seen on Celebrity.

CON015 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

CON024 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Friday, September 4 / Dubrovnik, Croatia

WX: 90F + clear

Also in port: MSC Poesia, Le Lyrial, La Belle de Adriatique

Getting up at 07:45 seemed like a luxury after Ravenna’s crack of dawn awakening. We did our usual routine and our tour group gathered on the pier before walking to the other end to board a little boat. I cannot stress the pronoun, “little,” enough. There was a capacity sign that said “209,” but I’m not sure how they came up with that number, because there were already two other tour groups on it when we arrived and precious little space left. This looked like one of those boats you’d see on a disaster video from a Third World country, wherein the boat capsizes and bodies go flying everywhere. We were sitting buttcheek-to-buttcheek on every horizontal surface available. I chuckled as we passed another of these death barges and one of my neighbors remarked, “Hey look! It’s another refugee boat!” Perhaps not the most appropriate humor, given the current humanitarian crisis in that region, but no harm, no foul. At least the scenery was nice, if the ride wasn’t. We sailed from the cruise pier and around a peninsula to the Old Town. Old Town was within the old city walls and spilled out a little into the surrounding area. It was typical “old town” like so many other towns in the region had, but it was very pleasant. After a guided walk up the main plaza, we were set free to roam for an hour. We found a beach nearby and scooped our sand, then returned to the square to rest before setting off again with the guide. By this point, it was uncomfortably hot, which – being from Houston – is a term I don’t casually toss around. We hiked up to a cable car that would take us to the top of the mountain that looms over the town. The queue for the cable car – which our guide kept incorrectly calling a “funicular” – was pretty long and was mostly in the sun. Some of the older folks in our group were having a tough time, but once we reached the shade, I think we all recovered. The temperature atop the mountain was much milder, but the line to go back down was once again lengthy, snaking down a stairwell and into a restaurant lobby. Fortunately, we were given cutsies by the staff and went down together as a group. After another hike through town, we arrived at a square where the bus picked us up. A few of the older ladies kvetched to the guide about all the walking and climbing we’d done and how the activity level listed in the brochure as “moderate” was no such thing. I’d agree with them on that point.

This one didn't look quite as crowded, which begs the question of why we had to cram everyone into ours.

DUB003 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The view of King's Landing...I mean..."Old Town" Dubrovnik from the mountain.

DUB019 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The Old Town.

DUB020 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

The cable car.

DUB023 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Back on the ship, while the Sherpa and I alternated shower time, we were on the veranda, talking with the neighbors, who were from New Zealand. They told us they were awakened around 02:30 that morning by loud noise from cleaning going on at the bar above. He said it was to the point he went and found someone to complain to and the noise soon stopped. Either it wasn’t that bad or we were just too tired, but we didn’t hear a thing that night.

In the MDR that evening, she had her shrimp cocktail, Ceasar, gnocchi, and chocolate cheesecake. I had the escargot, “Louisiana” gumbo, steak Diane, and crème brulee. Having grown up with family in Louisiana, I found the gumbo somewhat lacking. For one thing, gumbo has seafood in it, despite what anyone else says. I’m not saying it was bad. Just “incomplete.”

After dinner, we went to Future Cruises and threw ourselves at their mercy, booking a November 2016 “Ultimate Caribbean” 10-night cruise on Equinox. With the Go Big! Go Better! Go Best! promo, plus the cabin credit incentives, we couldn’t pass it up.

We skipped the evening show, but made sure we were in the theater at 23:00 for an “adult” production show called “Elyria.” Cruise Director Alejandro piqued my interest the previous evening when he mentioned a production show that was not for the young ‘uns or the prudish old ‘uns. We were among the first through the doors and took our customary seats on the balcony. Already on-stage, a pair of female dancers flanked the stage, each with a shirtless male cavorting around with ram horns. There was plenty of bare skin, leather, ragged fishnet stockings, and suggestive dancing. The songs were probably the best of any show we saw during this sailing and the host/on-stage narrator – who can only be described as Beetlejuice in drag – was hilariously raucous. I also noted this was the first show I’ve seen on a cruise that seemed specifically written to appeal to everyone, no matter their orientation. However you describe it, we thought it was one of the top shows we’ve seen on a cruise.

CON044 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

CON033 by Matt Barnette, on Flickr

Thanks for taking the time to write a review of this cruise. It is one I am thinking about. chris

Hi Matt,

I was searching for reviews of the Cabrbbean on Celebrity AND recognized your name from the Adriatic cruise roll call; we were on it too! Can't wait to view your report ... But I need to wait at least a few hours, as I'm at work!

We're considering the Exotic Caribbean or the Ultimate Caribbean next

Dianne

Wow such great pictures! I did not see the Ravenna sunrise, but the sunset was the best sunset of the entire cruise. Looking forward to Kotor. :)

I too want to add your pictures are stunning.

I am enjoying your review.