Royal 6/21/10 Rex and Pam do Alaska

***DISCLAIMER: This is more a journal than it is a cruise review. It is for family and friends who enjoy reading about our trips. Those of you who do not like this sort of thing have been warned. Oh, and ignore all typos.

Pre-Cruise June 16-20, 2010

On the evening of Wednesday, June 16, 2010, we surrendered to the GA heat and booked a very last minute 14-day cruise on the Royal Princess sailing to Alaska five days later on June 21, 2010. I am glad we decided to book this particular cruise as Princess will not be doing anymore of these 14 day itineraries in the foreseeable future and the big three (Juneau, Skagway and Ketchikan) are no longer enough to lure me to Alaska on a cruise ship. This is our 11th Alaska cruise.

Pre-cruise preparation is a grueling experience. The frantic packing and flying accusations have begun. I cannot find my earmuffs. I couldn’t find my gloves either until Rex remembered where he put them. He also found a pair of earmuffs. Not our nice earmuffs, mind you, but a pair bought in an emergency from a dollar store (buy before you try) when we decided to go camping in February during the coldest winter in recorded history. They were apparently manufactured in whatever country (Mars) that has a cone-head citizenry. The band only stretches about 3 inches so I guess they fit those people with ears that are only 3 inches apart around the back of their heads (cone-heads). My ears have a wee bit more separation.

We burned Thursday shopping for pants for Rex. He always needs more pants. I don’t know where the other pants are (probably with the earmuffs) but he needed more. I know men complain about shopping with their wives but nothing compares to shopping with Rex. It’s unbelievably brutal. I have to tell him where the men’s department is. I have to be the one who finds the correct size. He does not understand why he (I) can’t find the exact kind of slacks he wore in 1964 and I have to pretend to search for them. I wasn’t paying a lot of attention to men’s slacks in ’64 so I have to play-act a little. He gets really upset if I am not standing outside the fitting room staring at the entrance waiting for him to come out so he can ask if the pants make his butt look too big. “They look fantastic, baby. Get a pair in every color. Can we go home now? Noooooooooooo, not another store.”

I can’t remember what we did Friday but I am pretty sure it involved a lot of laundry, ironing, and packing…just like Saturday. I get pretty anal about ironing jeans and t-shirts, in fact, everything except unmentionables (Rex headgear). I even ironed my balcony flammies i.e. flannel lounging pants. We both visit closets we haven’t opened in a year or more and pull things out to take on cruises. Of course, that stuff has been hanging in there so long that it is once again semi-fashionable in a bohemian second-hand store kind of way and it also needs to be laundered, ironed, and packed. Then it will take up precious real estate in the stateroom closet where it will spend the entire cruise untouched. It’s a vicious cycle and probably indicative of some sort of mental illness and would probably be grounds for divorce if it were not a trait we share. It most certainly will become a reality show once someone from Fox reads this. The good news is I have not bought one thing to take on this trip illustrating one of the many financial benefits of last minute bookings. A negative is that it will be difficult to tell the difference between 2009 cruise photos and 2010 cruise photos except the clothes will appear to have shrunk. I’m even taking most of the same, freshly ironed t-shirts.

I did get the pre-cruise manicure, pedicure, and immensely enjoyable, totally humiliating, rash producing lip waxing. It’s disconcerting when the pretty, tiny, flawlessly skinned, Asian girl furrows her brow, purses her lips, squints, and turns her head away just before she rips out enough hair to knit a sweater. The same four-letter word always comes to mind at that instant but so far I’ve managed to keep it to myself. I am sure it is one of the first three words of English she learned. Why does she always feel the need to show me all the hair she just jerked out by the roots? It’s not as if I didn’t feel each of them leave my body. I always feel obligated to look at it, nod, and smile approvingly when all I want to do is scream that four-letter word and then strangle her.

The last items to be packed are the toiletries, traveling pharmacy, germaphobe sterilizing chemicals, and an abundance of gizmos that technogeeks must take on any trip further than the grocery store. That includes, but is not limited to, a laptop, a cordless mouse, multiple camera’s, binoculars, ipod’s, GPS, cellphones , PlayStation Portable, and chargers for everything.

Tomorrow we fly to Seattle.

To be continued…

Thanks so much for a good laugh tonight! I look forward to hearing more:)

Fantastic! My sides hurt from laughing. . . . Can't wait for the rest!

Too funny! Thanks for sharing.

Thanks for the great start of what is to be a wonderful review/journal.

Ironically, I suffered the same humiliation as you yesterday...

All I can ask is how can women who profess to love themselves do such reprehensible things to their lip...:confused:

I look forward to your next installment!:)

Pam,

I'm so excited that you are cruising again! I think your cruise journals are the most entertaining I have ever read. Have an awesome trip and thanks for taking us along again.

Also Pam

Yipeee! Thank you. I wish I could be sailing with you!!! K

For some strange reason my morning tea is now all over my laptop screen! :D:D Can't wait (know I must) for more.

Thanks for bringing us along Pam.

Can you tell us about the Royal as we will be cruising on her sister ship the Ocean in less than a month.

I can't stop laughing! :D:D:D:D:D

Love you Pam! Have a great time you guys. I am SOOOOO jealous.

This is so funny - let the adventure continue!!!!

I think you and poster "sailor Jack" should write a book!

My DH rarely shops and LIKES to wear some of the pants he had in 1964 (before we met) - and he knows where they are.:rolleyes:

Looking forward to reading about your adventures. If you get the chance please say Hello to Noelia at the Club Bar and Robert in the Sterling Steakhouse - tell them Paul & Lizabeth from the 6 Day Caribbean say hello. Enjoy :)

Pam.....what an interesting and funny post.....I love it. I knew you were witty and that Rex was a "hoot".....but geesh, you two are more amusing than than ever....I guess that through the years you two have been honing your talents.... Love the fact that you have been to Alaska so many times....We have been twice, but I would go again tomorrow....We are going through the Panama Canal for the 4th time in January and are loyal to Princess...I am looking forward to your next post about the flight... that one will surely be most interesting....I was pulled aside by security on our last flight to Seattle.......Love to you both.....Laura R

Have a wonderful cruise. I'll be thinking of you as you board the Royal on Monday and I am getting a root canal. I would much rather be spending that money on a cruise.

I'm sailing on the Royal in Aug so will be eagerly waiting for your thoughts about the trip. If you have a chance to peek into cabin 6030 I'd live to se/hear how obstructed the view is. )it's located directly behind the 1st lifeboat)

I'd also like to know who the Captain and CC hostess are, and the buffet hours.

Have a great trip.

June 20, 2010

We went to bed at 1:30 and the alarm slapped us up side the head four hours later. The last minute trying to get out of the door stuff went much smoother than usual. I didn’t get all frenzied; there were no accidents in the shower or anything. I even remembered to wash the cream rinse out of my hair.

Thoughts of putting my rotundity in one of the tiny coach class seats for five hours pushed me to the brink. There were only 2 seats left in business class. Begging and pleading didn’t work and the reservations agent told me I would have to wait until exactly 24 hours prior to departure to attempt to snag those last two seats. At the rate they were filling I didn’t believe they would last. The agent went on to tell me that if I wanted to use AirTran A+ rewards to upgrade I only had to wait until midnight. We don’t really fly that much and we have no airline loyalties so we each had a meager 1 A+ reward credit. (BRIGHT FLASH OF LIGHT) “Rex, they sell A+ reward credits. I am going to buy some and use them to upgrade us to Business class. If the plan fails, we’ll try again on the flight back home.“ It worked! Furthermore, it saved us some money…hahahaha…love you AirTran.

After an uneventful 5-hour flight, we arrived in chilly and rainy Seattle. What a climate change! It’s been really hot in Georgia so far this summer and goodness knows I’ve done my share of complaining about the heat. The high temp for Seattle today is expected to be 57 degrees. Rex said that my cold weather complaining sounds just like my hot weather complaining but I think my cold weather complaining is more energetic and I don’t sigh as much or do the blow-hole thing when I do it.

We took the Gray Line Airporter to our Hotel. It was the first stop on the route. I used Priceline to book the hotel. We won the Renaissance in downtown Seattle. We got a good deal on the hotel but I am not sure I like it that much. All roads and sidewalks that lead to the Renaissance are uphill both ways…San Francisco is a flatland compared to Seattle. We saw a man walking backwards on all fours down hill. It was a strange sight. He kept glancing over his shoulder to see where he was going. The incline is so severe that if you pant too much in your upward climb, you will lick the sidewalk. Thankfully the sidewalks are not that dirty. “I can’t handle this, carry me Rex.”

The hotel has been recently remodeled so everything is fresh and clean. Our room with a view of Elliot Bay/Puget Sound is on the 20th floor. We were even asked if we wanted a king or two doubles. The young lady gave me a wink when I said, “King Sized”. Do we look that old?

We were too worn out to go out for dinner so we ordered Chinese delivered. Wouldn’t you know that Chinese restaurant in Tampa we declared to be the worst Chinese Restaurant in the entire world has opened a branch right here in Seattle under a different name. My fortune cookie said, “Next time try order twice-fry squid eyes”. Tomorrow is sail away.

I can tell this is going to be a fun 14 days! I can hardly wait for the next installment.

Thank you for the Monday morning laugh. I can't believe that Tampa restaurant is still open. I still have childhood nightmares about it. Enjoy your trip. I'm looking forward to more of your posts.

What a hoot.:D

OMG, you are going to have to post multiple times each day! I need your laugh therapy ASAP... Please come back soon and write more.

Katherine

I just hope she will be able to post during the cruise. I haven't seen any "lives" from the other two Alaskan Royal cruises this season

I LOVE this live report!!! So witty and fun to read! Can hardly wait for the next installment.

Monday June 21, 2010

Below is our itinerary.

Date, Port, Arrival Time - Departure Time

06-21-2010 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, ROYAL PRINCESS SAIL AWAY, 04:00 PM

06-22-2010 AT SEA

06-23-2010 KETCHIKAN, ALASKA, 07:00 AM - 02:00 PM

06-24-2010 JUNEAU, ALASKA, 08:00 AM - 10:00 PM

06-25-2010 ICY STRAIT POINT PT, SOPHIA 07:00 AM - 07:00 PM

06-26-2010 GLACIER BAY CRUISING, ALASKA, SCENIC CRUISING 06:00 AM - 03:00 PM

06-27-2010 AT SEA

06-28-2010 ANCHORAGE (SEWARD), ALASKA, 08:00 AM - 06:00 PM

06-29-2010 KODIAK, ALASKA, 07:00 AM - 04:00 PM

06-30-2010 AT SEA

07-01-2010 SKAGWAY, ALASKA, 07:00 AM - 08:00 PM

07-02-2010 TRACY ARM, ALASKA, USA SCENIC CRUISING 06:30 AM - 10:30 AM

07-03-2010 AT SEA

07-04-2010 VICTORIA, B.C CANADA 02:00 PM - 11:59 PM

07-05-2010 SEATTLE, WASHINGTON, 07:30 AM

I woke up while it was still dark outside and said to Rex, “What time is it?” He said that it was 4:30. When I told him that was too early to get up he reminded me that it was 7:30 in Georgia and besides, “It’s Christmas. Let’s go look under the tree!”

It’s amazing how much we can unpack in just one night at a hotel so a couple of hours of repacking were necessary. Then there was the Rex primping thing. I always watch in amazement (discretely as not to upset him) the ritual he goes through when getting ready in the morning…plucking, trimming, brushing, q-tipping, hair products, body products, smell good stuff, smiling, flexing,…you get the picture.

He made the hike to the Spirits store so we could carry on a couple of bottles of wine. I’m not sure why he did that since we don’t drink. He said he would be back by 10:15. I wanted to head for the pier around 11 AM. I thought he would take the direct route back instead of spiraling like we did yesterday when I was trying to find hills with a grade less than 500 degrees straight up.

I remembered from last year on the Pacific Princess that these smaller ships have virtually no waiting-in-line when embarking so we left for pier 91 around 11:30. Embarkation was a breeze as expected and we were in our cabin shortly after noon. We received our luggage much earlier than expected and made our nest for the next 14 days. The layout of this ship is very familiar to us so we had no problem finding our way around.

This may be the first time we didn’t head straight to the food trough after boarding. We had to go speak to the Maitre D’ as we hadn’t received a dining assignment. That part of our cruise card was completely blank and Rex was afraid they weren’t going to let us eat. He told us to come to late seating which means dinner is close to midnight according to our biological clocks. We went to the lounge (Sabatini’s actually) to check out the new Elite/Suite passenger perk of pre-dinner appetizers and discounted cocktails. It was okay especially since we were starving (didn’t have breakfast this morning either) but I doubt we will frequent it much during the cruise.

Sail Away on deck nine was very sparsely attended but we enjoyed ourselves. We made our way to the aft deck to take advantage of the photo op. The Seattle skyline is gorgeous.

A high percentage of the passengers are people with lots of experience. My guess is that the average age is somewhere around antediluvian. It makes me feel good to see that in spite of copious and sundry physical issues that are the inevitable result of longevity, these folks have an almost poetically endearing endurance. At a stage in life where so many have given up, these fellow travelers are out here bobbing up and down in a cruise ship laughing, talking, and feasting on life in the grandest fashion. These are hardy souls and an inspiration to me and I can only hope to follow in their wake. Rex thinks he might be the second youngest person on the ship.

We got our requested table for two in a most excellent location, sort of in the middle of the dining room next to a railing. It’s an almost perfect people-watching spot. The waiter and his assistant are amazingly happy and helpful. The Maître d’ and his Assistant came by several times to check on our well-being. I had the lobster pate appetizer, three mushroom soup, and pan-fried perch. Rex had a salad, spring rolls, the mushroom soup and the baked crawfish pot. Everything was yummy and I had to decline desert because I was just too stuffed. Rex said that he felt the same then ordered the hazelnut ice cream for desert. Yep…made every bite disappear.

We walked around for about five minutes; went to the photo gallery and found our obligatory embarkation picture on display. The ship’s photographers always use the latest and probably very expensive equipment and then do all kinds of special Photoshop effects that discretely add extra pounds and years. They probably do that so you’ll feel more like you fit in. It was an enjoyable evening and time to call the day a wrap so we headed for the cabin.

Tonight we are sailing on a northerly course through the Juan de Fuca Strait and then Queen Charlotte Sound. We will continue a the northerly course throughout the night, all day tomorrow, and tomorrow night pulling in at Ketchikan bright and early Wednesday morning. Before going to bed we stepped out on our chilly balcony for a moment to watch the fog roll by. The foghorn sounded a couple of times and for whatever reason I like that sound. It’s somehow cautious and comforting at the same time. I asked Rex if he knew the name of this part of the Inside Passage. He said. “This is the Isthmuth Straight”, and he spelled it for me. Then he kept repeating it and got me to say it. He said, “It used to be called the Isthmuth Straith but, that was too hard to thay. Most sailors and several important pirates downright refused”. He’s not necessarily as much into geography as he is into making me laugh. Water, water everywhere…comedians too.

Info for those waiting to cruise on this ship:

Captain: Ivan Jerman

Staff Captain: Aldo Traverso

Chief Engineer: Bruno Padovan

Staff Engineer Officer: Gianluca Scala

Staff Electro Technical Officer: Agostino Caputi

Hotel General Manager: Arturo Calise

First Purser Administration: James Eaton

Cruise Director: Peter Roberts

Captain’s Circle Hostess: Lindsay Ross

First Purser Food and Beverage: Roque Pablador

Senior Doctor: Farouk Parker

Accommodation Manager: Antonio Pimpao

Executive Chef: Remo Bolis

Maitre d’Hotel: Ig****o D’Agostino

Don’t touch that dial.

Loved it, Pam. Thanks for the good laughs and will keep looking for more! Happy cruising.