Nude Showers Poolside and Other Horrible Stories Here!!

Hi everybody,

I'm sorta having a case of the mondays (on wednesday) and I need a pick me up. So I thought back to my cruise 2 years ago on the Adventure of the Seas. My sister and I were in the Solarium pool just hanging out when this older, larger, and generally unattractive man stepped into the glass rinse-off showers by the pool. He then proceeded to remove his speedo and give it a good rinsing before putting it back on to the shock and horror of the entire pool. Needless to say, My sister and I found our laughs were not the only snickers and giggles going around.

Second, but not as funny, On the same cruise there was a couple in their mid-late 40's that had taken togetherness to a whole new level. Sunbathing in matching his and hers thongs!! No lie.

Thought everybody could use a laugh. I know I needed one.

Making a mental picture....UGH!! :eek: :eek: :eek: Did you have nightmares after that?

I don't have any good stories to share but I'll keep my eyes out on my next cruise. ;) Thanks for the laugh.

Really funny!

Karen :)

Thanks Matt! I'm having a not so good day too. I feel like I'm comming down with something. Sore throat, etc. Anyway, I liked your story! It made me LOL! :D

Too funny! We had an interesting experience aboard our Summit cruise last Dec. A foreign man in a blue speedo (which he wore every day of the 10-day cruise) brought one of those bungee-type exercise do-dads you see on the late night infomercials and proceeded to perform various exercises on the pool deck while smoking a cigar for about an hour. He was quite limber and could in fact bring his legs above his head (while smoking his cigar) but all of us on the pool deck were about dying at the sight of this!!

The bonus of the whole thing was that we met several people that day who were watching/laughing at him too and ended up hanging out with them the rest of the cruise.

Leslie

'nough said

:D

A

We had a ship full of He-She's on our dec 01 cruise. And they were in their full get up the whole cruise. What a sight. What was worst their WIVES were on this cruise with them.

I don't have any good stories to share but I'll keep my eyes out on my next cruise. ;) Thanks for the laugh.

Just to set the record straight, mammallama, that wasn't me you'll think you see on our cruise.

In case I don't remember... ;)

Frank

I have a couple:

Second Explorer cruise, me and hubby, sis and hubby in St. Thomas. We took the tram up the hillside overlooking the port. As we are standing enjoying the incredible view of the port and ships below, our reverie was interrupted by a loud unmistakable sound just in front and slightly below us. Obviously a lady with a terrible "gas" problem. We just looked at one another and slowly backed away to another location. Advance forward a couple of days. Same group of us at Labadee. We had just settled in our lounge chairs with a Labadoozie and our books, when all of a sudden...you guessed it... that sound again...and it was the same lady....she was on our cruise!!! :eek:

The other:

Two ladies on our first Brilliance...looked like an older mother/daughter combination. They were so noticable because they carried their large purses everywhere with them on the ship...pool, dinner, parties, etc. We almost felt like they were following us as we would see them constantly. Anyway, they had the same dinner seating (late) and would come everynight to the shows and...you guessed it, they always sat in front of us. Within 5 minutes of the show starting they would both fall sound asleep. Poor souls could not stay awake....somtimes one would wake up and punch the other and they would sit up momentarily but fall right back. I guess they couldn't stand to go to bed and miss part of the cruise but I am not certain why they bothered to come to the shows. As we were leaving the last day, rolling our suitcases out the door, we looked up and guess who was just in front of us, purses in hand! :rolleyes:

UnkFrank-- Will you be rinsing or stinkin' up the place? I won't tell...promise. :p

We had a ship full of He-She's on our dec 01 cruise. And they were in their full get up the whole cruise. What a sight. What was worst their WIVES were on this cruise with them.

EEWWWWWWW!

I'll bet they were simply stunning on the formal nights! :eek:

Stretch

I just had an Austin Powers "That's not your mother, that's a man baby!" experience on our last cruise. A little disconcerting but only because of the horrible makeup and hair. The dress & shoes were quite nice.

Linda

At the airport in Harrisburg we noticed a lady by herself that reminded us of my aunt, Mimi. She was shorter than my aunt so we called her "Little Mimi". When we got to Atlanta for a connecting flight, "Little Mimi" got on the same plane. We joked that maybe she was going on the same cruise as us. We got to Miami and boarded Explorer. While we were walking around the ship, who should we run across but "Little Mimi". We kept seeing her all week no matter where we went, even walking around in Old San Juan - there she was. Maybe I just noticed her so much because she did remind me of my Aunt.

Yeah,

There was this other couple on the Glory last year. The wife must have been a body builder as she was very lean and muscular, not well endowed at all, do to the body building. But she had a really manish face. And they were always dancing really well at the parties and clubs, ballroom style. I saw them everyday at the gym and the husband wore the little shorts that made him look "bigger" if you know what I mean. Similar to Ben Stillers shorts in Dodgeball! All of that made for a couple of laughs.

We were on the Horizon two years ago and one day we saw an older gentlemen walking around in a new pair of pants. How did we know they were new? The pants still had that clear strip on one of the legs showing the waist size!!

We were on the Horizon two years ago and one day we saw an older gentlemen walking around in a new pair of pants. How did we know they were new? The pants still had that clear strip on one of the legs showing the waist size!!

That´s the only way to go. If you remove this lable you won´t be able to return the pants after the cruise when you don´t need them anymore and get your cash back. :D :D :D

BTW maybe it´s also a remainder what his waist size was at the beginning of the cruise.:eek: :eek:

ROFLMAO

Thanks for the laughs...

On our last cruise on the Rhapsody, we saw a rather portly fellow make a nice dive into the deep end of the pool. After his dive he immediately went over to the side of the pool to climb out. The only problem was that his swim trunks had drifted southward and you could see everything, including his pride and joy!:eek: He climbed out and walked a few steps before he noticed it. To his credit, he just pulled them up and dived in again. My poor little girls were horrifed!!:eek: They still talk and giggle about it to this day.:)

was that his swim trunks had drifted southward and you could see everything, including his pride and joy!

Isn't that now referred to as a "wardrobe malfunction"?

Linda

On one cruise we were laying in the sun on the top deck. I was facing the ocean just enjoying the sights. This young, well endowed lady sat down in the lounge chair next to me. Of course she was facing me. She then proceeds to remove her top. Being the gentleman that I am, I am not trying to stare at the twin mounds(at least so wife' doesn't catch me). Wife' then grabs me by my tallywacker & drags me to the other side.

Don't you just love cruise stories?

On one of our cruises, there were two LARGE ladies of a certain age (definitely over 60) who would sunbathe in tiny little bikinis that perhaps fit them 30-40 years earlier. After my initial reaction of wanting to gouge my own eyes out, I then thought "Well, heck, more power to them for having the guts to be seen in public like that." Most of us are so self conscious in our swimsuits and these two ladies couldn't care less. Like to say I learned something about self esteem from it, but I still stick to tankinis and one pieces - especially after two days of cruise food! Quite good for a few laughs.

Ugg!!! What a mental picture. :eek: And I was on my way up to bed. I'll probably have nightmares!!!

PaulS - Your story reminded me of being in downtown Greenville, SC a few weeks ago. My daughter and I were walking down the plaza when we noticed an older gentleman wearing a new pair of blue jeans. His size sticker was on his back leg. My DH and I became hysterical and could not contain our laughter. We were in tears by the time the man finally turned a corner. I was trying to tell him about the sticker, but just couldn't get it out. :D

And now for a horror story. The lady we saw on our cruise last week as a lulu! She had long reddish/brown hair and large sunglasses. She wore a bikini and was VERY anorexic. Her skin was dark and oiled. The kicker came when she removed her glasses. She was either over 65 or her weight loss made her look that way. She looked like a skeleton with a suntan! She had that Dyan Cannon look going on. eeeeewwwwww

Regarding the wardrobe malfunction comment, my son (12) was watching Julius Caesar the other day. I commented that I was surprised by the "G" rating on the movie, since it's pretty gory and scary. My husband asked if there wasn't some nudity in it too. My son replied that there was one part where a lady had one breast exposed. My husband then said "Oh, like Janet Jackson?!" and my son responded "No, it was the other one!"

The strangest thing I ever saw was a friend who we can say was feeling very Happy (fosters oil cans will do that for you ) one night, and she ended up in the Quest game in only her underwear. I have never laughed so hard in my life. If you have any doubts that is an adult game and so don't bring the kids. The cruise before I saw two in the disco and she was helping him with his zipper it must have been stuck with her teeth! I'm sure she was only trying to be helpful!! Forty years old have never seen that before! We go again on the SOS on Sept. 20th I can't wait to see what happens there!