LOL; Whats the funniest thing you have heard whilst on a criuse?

[norn iron]

Several years ago whilst standing at the Guest Relations Desk a lady beside me was enquiring about lost property, she had lost a jacket.

The member of the Guest Relations staff asked ''where abouts were you when you lost your coat''?

The elderly lady replied ''I think we were in the Bay of Biscay''

 

I shouldn't have been listening but I burst out laughing when I saw the crew members face!!

[sarahc78]

Not so much something funny but the last cruise we were on (7 years ago) we were eating breakfast in the MDR and it was just open seating, well these 2 20 something girls sat down the waiter took their order. One of them had asked for toast.

 

When her food was brought to her she said "could I please have some seedless blackeberry jam" the waiter responded "I'm sorry ma'am the jams and jellies that are on the table is all we have" this girl raised her voice and said "HA!!! That table over there has seedless blackberry jam, yesterday morning there was seedless blackberry jam, are you trying to tell me there is NO seedless blackerry jam on this ship at all!!!"

 

I was absolutley mortified. She was so loud and rude it was unbeleiveable. Our waiter and the other waiters around were checking every table for SEEDLESS blackberry jam.

 

Sometimes now I make my husband toast or a pb&j and say this is w/ SEEDLESS blackberry jam lol

[Dylandude]

Once heard a gentleman ask about his lost sunglasses. When asked when he lost them, he replied "On this cruise last year"

[teajak]

Last week on the Solstice I was next in line at guest relations when I saw this woman skip the line and walk up to the counter. I was next in line, the station right in front of me opened up and she skipped right over to it.The gentleman at GR looked at her and said:"madam you just jumped the line in front of all of these people waiting." Boy was she mad,she yelled "WELL EXCUSE ME" and stomped off.What poetic justice,I was laughing so hard I couldn't tell him what I needed.

[kk99]

On the Sosltice last year, there was an older gentlemen singing karaoke, and an atrractive woman gets on the stage and starts dancing suggestively with him. He tries to finish the song,and then he says " I don't know you", (and to his wife in the audience) "Honey, I'm innocent".

 

I thought the Captain was going to have to leave the lounge as he was trying his hardest not to roar with laughter.

 

kk

[Johnthed0g]

P&O as one of their formal nights have "Black & White" night people do often get mixed up & think it's casual, but the story I heard was one couple thought it was fancy dress & were sitting in one of the bars.....dressed as.....Friesian Cows!!

[LuAnn]

at Guest Relations, complaining that she had booked the "port" side of the ship so she would ALWAYS be facing the port while docked...and that wasn't happening!! :eek: LuAnn

[dkjretired]

Woman in the elevator complaining that they should make the elevators to either go up or down....

[WehoAtlantis]

"What time do the whales come by?":D

[Karynanne]

Woman in the elevator complaining that they should make the elevators to either go up or down....

 

Thanks for my morning giggle.

[Anubi]

On our first cruise the cruise director was giving the disembarkation talk and was giving the usual warning about drugs in suitcases and the sniffing dogs when this older woman piped up and said...I kid you not...that the dogs were sniffing for fruit. The entire room exploded and the cruise director never missed a beat. He smiled down at her and said of course they are. How he kept a straight face I'll never know!! :D

[sloopsailor]

On our first cruise the cruise director was giving the disembarkation talk and was giving the usual warning about drugs in suitcases and the sniffing dogs when this older woman piped up and said...I kid you not...that the dogs were sniffing for fruit. The entire room exploded and the cruise director never missed a beat. He smiled down at her and said of course they are. How he kept a straight face I'll never know!! :D

 

She was partially right! Two decades ago on a flight back from Egypt, a dog sniffed my carry on bag, sat down, and suddenly I was pulled aside by two security men. Seems that I had forgotten to eat the last orange I brought on board the plane for snacks. Bringing in fruit into the US was forbidden. I got a stern warning and was allowed to proceed. That was scary! I feared someone had slipped drugs in my bag!

[sddsddean]

Not strcitly cruising, but at least 'on the water'. In the UK our canal system is now used almost exclusively by pleasure boats. Most of these are 'narrowboats' (6' 10" wide and up to 72' long) and there are many hire companies. Due to the shallow water, the propellors sometimes get clogged with weed etc (although I did have a sheep on once!!!). Anyway, in the engine compartment is a hatch with raised sides (to stop the water coming in) which you reach down through to clear the prop. I came upon one guy who decided he did not want to get his hands wet, so was sitting there patiently baling out the hatch with a tea cup, so he was effectively baling out the canal into the canal! I asked him how long he had been doing it and he said "about an hour now, but the level doesn't seem to be going down". Before I could say anymore, you could see the dawn of realisation come to his face, and he just said " I'm an idiot aren't I?!"

[Onessa]

On our first AK cruise about 20 years ago while I was waiting for a drink I overheard two guys talking - the one was complaining ". . . this whole Alaska thing is just overrated, I could see more wildlife in an hour at Sea World than we've seen here all week!"

[red knight]

On my first ever cruise, HAL to Alaska, 1st morning doing the morning mile, it was early and foggy. I heard an older women moaning, "If this is Alaska you can have it!" I didn't have the heart to tell her we were still in Canadian waters at the time!:D

[POTTERNMRS]

Not overheard, but last year on the Summit we were docked next to a ship in Grenada. There was a guy on his balcony wearing only his birthday suit and a smile waving to us as we pulled in. Wife & I called it " Moon over Grenada."

[Karynanne]

And of course there's the very, very old question, "What time is the midnight buffet?"

[DebCatLady]

On our very first Celebrity Century cruise many moons ago, the cabin next to ours was shared by two young Marines on leave. One of them got carried away with the drinks and proceeded to totally trash the cabin, including punching and breaking a mirror. He was screaming obscenities at people in the hall and generally terrorizing everyone. (Eventually, security came and settled him down, but I will never understand why Celebrity didn't put him off at the first port of call.)

 

The next day, we ran into this young man at the Guest Relations counter. He wanted to be compensated for the injury to his hand when he punched the mirror!

[sarahc78]

and of course there's the very, very old question, "what time is the midnight buffet?"

lmao!!!

[Rysyonok]

On our first AK cruise about 20 years ago while I was waiting for a drink I overheard two guys talking - the one was complaining ". . . this whole Alaska thing is just overrated, I could see more wildlife in an hour at Sea World than we've seen here all week!"

 

Hilarious :) I got one almost as bad. We're in Naples, eating at a local restaurant when we overhear from the next table: "This is ok, but this isn't Olive Garden..."

[mari10]

at Guest Relations, complaining that she had booked the "port" side of the ship so she would ALWAYS be facing the port while docked...and that wasn't happening!! :eek: LuAnn

 

Reminds me of a couple who were complaining at Guest Relations that they booked and ocean view cabin,but upon entering their cabin all they saw were parked trucks and they wanted to be moved! The gal at the desk assured them that in an hour their view would soon be an ocean view.

 

Mari:)

[Karynanne]

On our very first Celebrity Century cruise many moons ago, the cabin next to ours was shared by two young Marines on leave. One of them got carried away with the drinks and proceeded to totally trash the cabin, including punching and breaking a mirror. He was screaming obscenities at people in the hall and generally terrorizing everyone. (Eventually, security came and settled him down, but I will never understand why Celebrity didn't put him off at the first port of call.)

 

The next day, we ran into this young man at the Guest Relations counter. He wanted to be compensated for the injury to his hand when he punched the mirror!

 

Sheesh...

[sunlovermtl]

Reminds me of a couple who were complaining at Guest Relations that they booked and ocean view cabin,but upon entering their cabin all they saw were parked trucks and they wanted to be moved! The gal at the desk assured them that in an hour their view would soon be an ocean view.

 

Mari:)

 

OMG!!!!! that is too funny. You just never know. I love to people what it takes all kinds. So how did you like the Solstice. We sail on her in May in Aqua Class.

 

Claudette

[cruzeluver]

Hilarious :) I got one almost as bad. We're in Naples, eating at a local restaurant when we overhear from the next table: "This is ok, but this isn't Olive Garden..."

 

I would think that would be a plus!:rolleyes: Anyone who would prefer Olive Garden to real, live, actual Italian food maybe should not travel.:)

[mari10]

OMG!!!!! that is too funny. You just never know. I love to people what it takes all kinds. So how did you like the Solstice. We sail on her in May in Aqua Class.

 

Claudette

 

Absolutely love the S Class Ships.

We leave in 5 weeks and can't wait to check out my view! (LOL)

Enjoy.

 

Mari