Divorced mom bringing 3 kids--need ex's permission?

[waterbug123]

I'm just curious. How do they know that you are not just traveling without your husband or that you are not a widow?

 

 

They don't, but these days with stories of parental kidnappings and whatnot, they have the right to ask you to prove that you have the legal rightake your kids out of the country. That is why you should have a letter with you. Or if you are a widow, a death certificate.

[waterbug123]

Going by car or air into someplace like Canada or Mexico, they will absolutely demand such paperwork... But who kidnaps their child to take on a close-looped cruise with some islands in between? The authorities get this.

 

The only time I have ever heard of anyone being questioned or boarding denied has been when the parent and the child have different last names. That's it. So no, I haven't just been lucky, it's just really not an issue.

 

If you are on good terms with your ex and can get such a letter, then for peace of mind get it. But there are slews of single parents who don't have such a connection, and the cruiselines and the ports welcome our money as well as anyone else's. My ex has no say where I take my own child with my own hard-earned money, and that's just the way it is. :)

 

Lucky you. But others have posted that they have indeed been asked for such a letter. As for a closed loop cruise, it is conceivable that a parent "kidnapping" their child could leave on a cruise and then disembark permanently at one of the port stops. Obviously not something that is a common occurence, but it could happen. As for ex's having a say in where the other parent takes their own child, many people do indeed have divorce decrees that specify that BOTH parents must give permission for the child to be taken out of the country, or even out of the state. You are fortunate that you do not have such a decree.

[imwmn913]

As a former airline and industry employee, let me say that by all means take documentation with you. This is especially true if you are going out of the US. I have had people who did take docs with them and they were never questioned. I have also had people who did not (even when they were just taking a father/son trip and there was no divorce issue) and they were stoppped by officials.(My daughter shares my husgands last name, and I kept my birth name. So when she was younger and we were traveling overseas I always carried her birth certificate to prove I was her mother.) This is just purely a cautionary situation for all involved. If you have legal/personal issues with ex spouse then consult your lawyer/court. It is far better to be prepared and not be sorry. Right??

[01Sweetpea]

My husband & I were both previously married...he is divorced from his ex, I am widowed from mine, and we each have children from our first marriages. When we travel with our kids we bring:

 

- the kid's birth certificates

- the kid's passports

- his CERTIFIED divorce decree

- a notarized letter from his ex

- my ex's death certificate

 

Even with all that we had a problem once because his ex has remarried, and her last name on the notarized letter doesn't match my step-daughter's name and didn't match the name on the divorce decree. We were asked if we had HER new marriage license to prove the name. :mad:

 

Thankfully after a few minutes of explaining they dropped it.

[libertylover]

I took mine for my son in August but wasn't asked for it but at least I had it if I was asked.

I tried to make it as painless as possible so I typed it up, included signature lines for my ex and the notary space. All he had to do was sign and get it notarized.

[Candleonwater]

I've heard this can be the case, but DD and I have flown to other countries... and not been asked. Again, maybe it just depends on the person we get.

 

Going by car or air into someplace like Canada or Mexico, they will absolutely demand such paperwork... But who kidnaps their child to take on a close-looped cruise with some islands in between? The authorities get this.

[beachchick]

<snip>

I have never been asked for any papers, and the cruiselines have actually laughed when I asked if I needed such a thing. If customs cares, which they never have, what are they going to do -- make you stay on the ship? Oh well.

 

Going by car or air into someplace like Canada or Mexico, they will absolutely demand such paperwork... But who kidnaps their child to take on a close-looped cruise with some islands in between? The authorities get this.

The only time I have ever heard of anyone being questioned or boarding denied has been when the parent and the child have different last names. That's it. So no, I haven't just been lucky, it's just really not an issue.

<snip>

 

No, apparently they don't or none of our members would report the times when they have been required to provide such paperwork. Considering that sometimes those "islands in between" are actually in countries such as Mexico, which has extremely strict requirements about this, it's foolhardy to say that the authorities won't require proof. You think it would be impossible for a parent or other adult to book a cruise that includes foreign stops, pretend they were taking the full cruise, and then abandon the ship at a foreign port? Likely? I doubt it. Impossible? No.

 

A number of our members have reported being required to show paperwork even when they have the same last name as their children and even when they are still married to the other parent. I'm surprised you haven't come across any of those posts.

 

And if customs in various countries, including the US, cares (which they sometimes do), they may make you stay on the ship or they may order you removed from the ship and taken to US agents on the assumption that you are trying to kidnap the child(ren). We don't know what they might do, so why risk it?

 

beachchick

[fumelkin]

RCCL website only states you need a noterized copy of permission if you are not the leagal guardian or the parent?

[Cre]

I purchased a cruise for my daughter for her 16th birthday. I asked her father for the permission letter prior to purchasing the cruise. He has since decided that he does not feel that my daughter deserves to go on a cruise so we are pretty much at his mercy. He has told me that since the trip is paid for he will provide the notarized letter. I'm waiting on the letter now. I understand why this rule is in place but it can also be a way of one parent holding something over the other parents head or as a form of revenge. I have said this many times / there should be other ways of getting through all this red tape

Some single mothers have no contact what so ever with these fathers and can barely get child support let alone afford an attorney. In all my 16 years of being a mother the issue of custody has never come up because my child has always been with me and there is about a 0.00% chance of that changing before she turns 18.

[G'ma]

This is what RCCL says, since it seems there is more assumption than fact going on:

 

Family Legal Documents

 

Should the last names of the parent and minor child traveling with them differ, the parent is required to present the child's valid passport and visa (if required) and the child's birth certificate (original, a notarized copy or a certified copy). The name of the parent(s) and the child must be linked through legal documentation.

 

Adults who are not the parent or Legal Guardian of any minor child traveling with them are required to present the child's valid passport and visa or the child's birth certificate (original, a notarized copy or a certified copy) and an original notarized letter signed by at least one of the child's parents. The notarized letter from the child's parent must authorize the traveling adult to take the child on the specific cruise, must authorize guardian to sign legal documentation/waivers for participation in any activities requiring them (i.e. Rock Climbing, Flowrider, Bungee Trampoline, Inline Skating, or Ice Skating) and must authorize the traveling adult to supervise the child and permit any medical treatment that must be administered to the child. If a non-parent adult is a Legal Guardian, the adult must present a certified certificate of Guardianship with respect to the child.

 

 

That's it. If you're the parent, and you and your child share the same last name, you only need your passports/birth certificates. There are some lines (Princess was one of them) that did use to require a single parent cough up a signed letter from their ex, but they dropped that requirement years ago.

 

Never heard of such a thing. The U.S. State Department/Homeland Security has pages on this subject. There MUST be a permission letter from the nontraveling parent....period......ALL travel, not just cruises. In addition, minors getting a passport must have BOTH parents appearance for the application.

 

They may never ask for the letter but if they do, and you don't have one, you will be denied boarding...

 

This matter is to prevent child abduction of all kinds....including parents who spirit their kid away to a foreign country to avoid the other parent....

 

Mexico and other countries also required it.

 

This info is all over the web AND on the State Department website.

[Former Goalie]

I purchased a cruise for my daughter for her 16th birthday. I asked her father for the permission letter prior to purchasing the cruise. He has since decided that he does not feel that my daughter deserves to go on a cruise so we are pretty much at his mercy. He has told me that since the trip is paid for he will provide the notarized letter. I'm waiting on the letter now. I understand why this rule is in place but it can also be a way of one parent holding something over the other parents head or as a form of revenge. I have said this many times / there should be other ways of getting through all this red tape

Some single mothers have no contact what so ever with these fathers and can barely get child support let alone afford an attorney. In all my 16 years of being a mother the issue of custody has never come up because my child has always been with me and there is about a 0.00% chance of that changing before she turns 18.

We were in a similar situation to you on RCL, NCL, Princess cruises. I do remember Princess asking us for "the letter," we had it, as Princess specifically said it would be necessary. On our last two RCL cruises ('07 and '05), we read what RCL required, and it was verbiage very similar to what has been posted on this forum. So, we didn't have "the letter," nor were we ever asked for one.

Someone has mentioned DOS requiring letters, I will admit ignorance on these issues. But, if one goes by what RCL requires, it seems to me one does not need a permission letter from the other parent for a single parent traveling with offspring.

[nrdsb4]

Never heard of such a thing. The U.S. State Department/Homeland Security has pages on this subject. There MUST be a permission letter from the nontraveling parent....period......ALL travel' date=' not just cruises. In addition, minors getting a passport must have BOTH parents appearance for the application.

They may never ask for the letter but if they do, and you don't have one, you will be denied boarding...

 

This matter is to prevent child abduction of all kinds....including parents who spirit their kid away to a foreign country to avoid the other parent....

 

Mexico and other countries also required it.

 

This info is all over the web AND on the State Department website.

 

If one parent signs and notarizes the Statement of Consent provided by the State Dept., then only one parent must apply in person.

[coffeegirl23]

I just asked this question last week of the RCL representative who was adjusting my invoice and she said a parent does not need a letter from the other parent, only NON parents. That is what the web site says, too.

[mspink98]

Get the letter, or seek the advice of a family attorney in your state who could advise on what to do if you can't get it for whatever reason.

 

About 15 years ago (I didn't realize it had been that long till I actually typed it! :eek:), my mom, sister and I made out first trip to Mexico. I was over 18, but my sister was not. I want to say she was about 15. My mom didn't think about a letter, and nothing like the internet existed to ask the question on if she needed one. They were detained at the airport on our layover and questioned fairly extensively-separately to make sure their answers matched. After about an hour, a call to my dad, and signed affidavits from both my mom and my sister that nothing in the kidnapping realm was taking place, they were cleared to board the flight. My dad had absolutely no problem with the trip, and knew about it ahead of time, but no one had thought of a letter.

 

If the same thing happened today, I don't know how it would turn out. I suspect that the agents at that time were making it up as they went along (who has a minor sign an affidavit??), and they would not be allowed to board the plane under those circumstances today. Better safe than sorry!

[beachchick]

I just asked this question last week of the RCL representative who was adjusting my invoice and she said a parent does not need a letter from the other parent, only NON parents. That is what the web site says, too.

 

Please, I beg you not to take the word of a phone representative. They are notorious for not having correct information. That might not be a biggie for some information, but is she going to come down to the pier and demand that the Immigration officer allow you to board the ship without the documentation that can be (not necessarily will be, but can be) required?

 

There's no other way to say it: The representative was wrong. It's not just non-parents, it's all adults traveling with minor children. Members here give first-hand experiences as parents of being required to provide the required documents. You will notice too that the website and other cruise line information also says that passengers are ultimately responsible for knowing (and providing) exactly what documentation might be required by the Immigration officers at all ports. It doesn't matter what the cruise line "wants," it only matters what documentation the government officials can require you to provide.

 

beachchick

[canadian loves explorer]

I always take a notorized Consent to Travel letter with me whenever we travel and cross a boarder, along with original (court stamped) copies of our court orders, an original copy of my marriage certificate (to trace my name) and divorce papers, and original copies of the children's birth certificates and mine. I've never, ever been asked for anything, even when travelling by air, but would not chance being refused boarding or entry into a country.

 

A couple things to remember (from my point of view):

 

-the letter protects the children against potential kidnapping, but it also protects the parent taking the children against being accused of kidnapping by the parent not going (they obviously knew about it and signed their permission if you have the letter) - and yes, some divorced parents are that petty and bitter.:eek:

 

-the letter is required where both parents have "legal custody" or "joint legal custody" (who has decision making authority for the children) as opposed to "physicial custody" (where the children live). My children live exclusively with me and seldom see their father, but we have Joint Legal Custody (it would cost me thousands of dollars and too much stress to change it, so I just leave it:()

 

-the children's passports (at least in Canada) have notes added in the computer about custody arrangements, access arrangments, court orders and effective dates, etc. That can all be called up quickly and easily by any customs official who swipes your passport and learns that there is someone else with parental authority.

 

 

So, despite the hassle, I will always pay the $50 to get a notorized letter. He's always been cooperative and lives nearby. Once he moves 2 hours away, like he plans, it can either be done by fax / mail, or I write a notorized letter stating that he lives 200 km away and does not see the children, thus has forfeited his custodial rights (which is what I do now for medical treatment, etc.)

 

And, in Canada, if he refuses to sign permission (after not being involved in the children's lives for so long) I could get an emergency court order (meaning waiting a week or 2, not months) for temporary legal custody.

 

Hope that helps answer some questions.

 

Colleen

[Former Goalie]

We were in a similar situation to you on RCL, NCL, Princess cruises. I do remember Princess asking us for "the letter," we had it, as Princess specifically said it would be necessary. On our last two RCL cruises ('07 and '05), we read what RCL required, and it was verbiage very similar to what has been posted on this forum. So, we didn't have "the letter," nor were we ever asked for one.

Someone has mentioned DOS requiring letters, I will admit ignorance on these issues. But, if one goes by what RCL requires, it seems to me one does not need a permission letter from the other parent for a single parent traveling with offspring.

I just received an email back from RCI which explicitly states that a notarized letter from the parent not traveling with the child is NOT required. I would suggest that those who are concerned about this use the email link on the RCI web site to ask a question. That way, you will have a hard copy reply to the question to take with you to check in, and that should buy some peace of mind.

[DebJ14]

If you are a widow then you would be bringing the husband's death certificate, not a permission letter. We have a friend who travels with his kids every year. His wife died of breast cancer when the kids were 13 and 15. The TA told him to bring the death certificate - good thing he did because they asked to see it at check in. He was told that because the itinerary included Mexico they had to check since Mexico requires it. Better safe than sorry - take the letter or in this case death certificate.

[lilant]

Will I need a note from my ex husband in order to take our boys on this cruise? We leave from NJ. Thanks!

 

 

why are you asking total strangers? ask your divorce lawyer. wouldn't be horrible if you got to the ship and all the "help" you got here was wrong?

 

IMHO the cruise line, your TA, your family lawyer, your ex is where you should start.

 

anthony

[lesleyswimcoach]

So does this mean that if you have sole legal custody that you won't need a letter? My friend is in this sitution and her ex is mentally (bipolar) unfit. He only gets to see the kids in a court supervised situation. She is already booked with us next spring and hopefully since he has no legal rights( he isn't even allowed in her neighborhood she won't have to ask him for a letter.

RCCL website only states you need a noterized copy of permission if you are not the leagal guardian or the parent?

[njmomof2]

I just received an email back from RCI which explicitly states that a notarized letter from the parent not traveling with the child is NOT required. I would suggest that those who are concerned about this use the email link on the RCI web site to ask a question. That way, you will have a hard copy reply to the question to take with you to check in, and that should buy some peace of mind.

 

And in the end, this may mean absolutely nothing. The check in agents are not Customs officials, or homeland security, or immigration. They are the ones that will require certain paperwork showing that an absent spouse is aware of the trip and gives consent. The agents who answer emails have no authority to tell immigration or customs that they don't need paperwork.

 

Please, if it's at all possible, get the letter. Even if you're never asked, having the letter and piece of mind is worth more than the bit of inconvenience that it might take to get it.

 

And if the ex spouse will not give consent, then get your divorce lawyer involved, have them petition the court, and get permission. I believe this is one of those things that all potential divorced parents need to consider when they negotiate settlement and custody arrangements. Of course, a bitter ex may decide to hang you up anyway, but any way to smooth it over is better than none.

[njmomof2]

So does this mean that if you have sole legal custody that you won't need a letter? My friend is in this sitution and her ex is mentally (bipolar) unfit. He only gets to see the kids in a court supervised situation. She is already booked with us next spring and hopefully since he has no legal rights( he isn't even allowed in her neighborhood she won't have to ask him for a letter.

 

If she has sole legal custody, have her bring the original divorce papers with the custody arrangements in it. If he has no legal right to the children, he has no right to deny travel. But she should have it to be safe. No one wants to miss a cruise because they relied on people saying no, you don't need it, and then being told you can't board without it. It's a bit of paper that you can keep in a file folder in your carry on bag. Worth the piece of mind to me.

[Esmerelda]

I'm in Ohio, I obtained (without ANY thing from my ex) a passport for both of my children. I had sole custody of my kids (one is now nearly 20). Only 1 time, did I have anyone at check-in at RC ask me for anything besides their passports and their birth certificates. At that one time, I asked to speak to a supervisor to clear up this employees misconception of what is needed which she did. I was correct under RC rules.

 

I've NEVER been asked for any letter. I think once, when they were quite young, I had it with me but no one wanted to see it. That was in 2001. I've since sailed at least 6 times with no issues whatsoever.

 

Once again, I have sole custody which means I could obtain a passport by myself and take my kids cruising with no issues. If you need to ask RC, send them an email so you have something in writing to show when you are at the port if need be.

[Rancher Dave]

You need the letter whether or not you are still married, as long as both parents are not travelling together. If you're a widow, you need the death certificate.

 

100% accurate answer. As long as it is only one parent regardless of why the other is not there, divorced, just has to work, is afraid of sinking etc...a letter is required to be in your possession.

 

Mexico for one has pretty strict laws about such, they may be skipped over at times but when they want to enforce the law...they can just take you into custody if you don't have the letter. That law has been in place a long time as well.

 

Coming back into the country is usually not a big issue and usually CPB doesn't stop folks leaving, but in theory they can...

 

Everyone gets too caught up on US laws only, and forget laws of countries visited which apply...and Canada for one is pretty tough on this...DW kept her last name so even with all three (DW, DD, and I) together DD was questioned about parentage when going thru Canada...by both Canadian and US officials as we went from SOTS to our flight to next US destination. I even had to provide a second form of ID to provide where I lived...I'd say someone with a similar name was probably wanted.

 

DW and I have each been on cruised with DD where the other was not able to sail for work or medical reasons. We cranked out a letter went and had it notarized for free at the bank so we were good. Neither time was it requested but better to have it and not need it than need it and not have it.

[Pushka]

I always wondered, if you're on bad terms with your ex (hypothetically speaking), and they don't do this for you. Does that mean you cant go on a cruise your own children ever?

 

In Australia, you have to get both parent's consent to get a passport, and if one refuses, then the child is not allowed to leave Australia.