Divorced mom bringing 3 kids--need ex's permission?

[DebJ14]

100% accurate answer. As long as it is only one parent regardless of why the other is not there, divorced, just has to work, is afraid of sinking etc...a letter is required to be in your possession.

 

Mexico for one has pretty strict laws about such, they may be skipped over at times but when they want to enforce the law...they can just take you into custody if you don't have the letter. That law has been in place a long time as well.

 

Absolutely true. On arrival at Mexican Immigration in the Cancun Airport the family ahead of us ran smack into this Mexican law. A Mom, her 16 year old daughter and the stepfather arrived ready to have fun. The 16 year old was denied permission to enter Mexico because she did not have a notarized letter from her father giving her permission to travel with her Mother and Stepfather. No matter how much they begged and pleaded the agent would not relent. He told them that they would have to return on the next plane and that the airline (AA) would be fined $1000 for bringing in a person without proper documentation. The Mom and stepfather could enter, but not the 16 year old. They whole thing got very loud and ugly. Then two guys in Navy Blue uniform with guns arrived and escorted the family to a private room. As we passed we could see the Mother and daughter crying hysterically and the stepfather still arguing the case to the official behind the desk.

 

We fly to Mexico all the time on Continental and on a trip in Dec 2010 at the airport in Houston we witnessed a family being denied boarding because 2 of the children did not have the notarized letters. The airline would not accept a fax - they had to have an original notarized letter. The Mom was on her cell phone and the father agreed to provide the letter, but they had to be rebooked on a flight the next day because it was a Sunday and the father could not get it notarized until Monday. The gate agent was very sympathetic, but adamant that Continental would not board the family. She called in her supervisor who said the same thing. Everyone sitting in the gate area heard the whole thing as it got very loud and there were lots of tears. The agent said that the TA should have told them about this requirement. Unfortunately, they booked it themselves online and disregarded the fine print on the entry into Mexico requirements. They thought all they needed were the passports. If a TA booked them and did not advise them of the requirement then the TA would be liable for the days lost. Travel insurance does not cover failure to provide proper documentation so that would not have helped

 

If you are going to the Dominican Republic the rules are even stricter. If you have a child under 13 not traveling with both parents the letter must be in Spanish and notarized at a Dominican Republic Consulate. We personally experienced this when we took our nephew on vacation with us to Punta Cana. My brother and sister in law had to really go out of their way to get that letter. And yes, they inspected it carefully when we entered and left Punta Cana.

 

It is not what the cruise line agent says that counts - you have to consider government regulations for each country that you visit.

[lesleyswimcoach]

I am nervous now since we are going to Mexico. My friends Bipolar ex-husband has been locked up many times. I am not even sure if he can legally make decisions about anything. She had no problem getting them passports with the divorce documents declaring that he had no rights. Who should she call at RCL?

[waterbug123]

I am nervous now since we are going to Mexico. My friends Bipolar ex-husband has been locked up many times. I am not even sure if he can legally make decisions about anything. She had no problem getting them passports with the divorce documents declaring that he had no rights. Who should she call at RCL?

 

If she has sole custody, and the divorce documents state that dad has no legal rights, then she just needs to bring the official divorce documents.

[Former Goalie]

And in the end, this may mean absolutely nothing. The check in agents are not Customs officials, or homeland security, or immigration. They are the ones that will require certain paperwork showing that an absent spouse is aware of the trip and gives consent. The agents who answer emails have no authority to tell immigration or customs that they don't need paperwork.

 

Please, if it's at all possible, get the letter. Even if you're never asked, having the letter and piece of mind is worth more than the bit of inconvenience that it might take to get it.

 

And if the ex spouse will not give consent, then get your divorce lawyer involved, have them petition the court, and get permission. I believe this is one of those things that all potential divorced parents need to consider when they negotiate settlement and custody arrangements. Of course, a bitter ex may decide to hang you up anyway, but any way to smooth it over is better than none.

I appreciate that you are suggesting that people have as much documentation as possible.

I also feel you are incorrect on this notarized letter issue, and are getting people pretty wound up when that is not necessary. There is not one single mention of "the letter" being needed by a single parent traveling with his/her child in the Family Legal Documents section on the RCI web site. As I already mentioned, I have hard copy from RCI to back this up stating "the letter" is not needed when a single parent travels with his/her child.

I have never, ever been asked for "the letter" when traveling single parent with child on four RCI cruises, and one NCL cruise. I think Princess once asked for a little more, a divorce decree, or something like that, but I'm foggy on that after 8 years.

 

And, this following statement of yours is totally confusing. RCI is not in the business of disinformation.

"The check in agents are not Customs officials, or homeland security, or immigration. They are the ones that will require certain paperwork showing that an absent spouse is aware of the trip and gives consent. The agents who answer emails have no authority to tell immigration or customs that they don't need paperwork."

For you to state "They are the ones that will require certain paperwork showing that an absent spouse is aware of the trip and gives consent" makes it sound like this is a done deal, and will happen. That is simply not the case. Never once has Customs, Homeland Security, or immigration gotten involved in our six trips with our children, and five other cruises I've been on.

Do you not think that RCI doesn't consult with DOS, DHS and all other relevant agencies before it prints its stated policies?

[bjboothman]

I don't get all the concern about going into Mexico on a cruiseship. You get off the ship, show your SailPass and take your tour or shop in the marketplace. Most people, as far as I can determine, don't even take their passports off the ship with them. Who is going to raise a fuss about a parent taking their child or children on a ship's tour in Mexico without the other parent?

 

I'm not suggesting it's necessary or not necessary to have a signed letter from the non-custodial parent in order to begin the cruise and get on the ship at embarkation. Just questioning having to show my passport in a particular port, as I have never had to do that.

[graciekelli]

You need the letter whether or not you are still married, as long as both parents are not travelling together. If you're a widow, you need the death certificate.

 

 

and what happens if your baby daddy just took off and you have no idea where he is? What happens if you are single and used a sperm bank to artifically inseminate you? I am just curious with all the alternative families out there...what do all these people do?

[crazy4themouse]

I appreciate that you are suggesting that people have as much documentation as possible.

I also feel you are incorrect on this notarized letter issue, and are getting people pretty wound up when that is not necessary. There is not one single mention of "the letter" being needed by a single parent traveling with his/her child in the Family Legal Documents section on the RCI web site.

 

 

Thank you for saying that, and I agree that people always seem to get awfully "wound up" over this unnecessarily.

 

People are talking about two totally different things here -- border crossings by land and border crossings by sea. Customs officials are very vigilant about having notarized letters from absent parents at land crossings, especially at the US/Canada and US/Mexico borders, for good reason. A non-custodial parent or other relative could disappear very quickly. But a closed-loop cruise is obviously very different.

 

A land/air border crossing is so completely different than a sea crossing... and the documentation requirements are just as different. Please compare apples to apples. The cruise lines spell out very specifically what documentation you need. A notarized letter is only needed "by at least one of the child's parents" if NEITHER parent is sailing with the minor. And if a child's last name is different than the parent's, the parent (singular) must be able to show documentation linking the parent and the child.

 

Think about it: Would it really be in a cruise line's best interest to spell out so specifically what documentation is needed, and have that be completely different from what some customs official says you need? It would be the cruise line that gets the bad press, not the customs guy.

 

 

-gina-

[Nebr.cruiser]

To the OP: it doesn't sound like you will have trouble getting the letter from your ex, so save yourself some worry and get it. In your case, with kids with the same last name as yours, you probably will not need it, but is it worth risking the faint chance of being denied boarding?

 

Cruise lines vary; ships vary; cruise staffers vary; you never know when you will get that overzealous type who wants to make a stink. Royal Caribbeans wording 'seems' to state that a single parent with kids with the same name won't need the letter. It also 'seems' to state that a permission letter from only one parent is needed if other relatives are taking kids on a cruise.

 

We cruised last Jan. with 7 grandkids. Some have our last name, some don't. There are exes and blended families involved. No parents were along. We got the seven letters (and birth certificates) in order--fairly easily except for one MIA parent who was finally located in a rehab center so spaced out he really didn't understand what was going on--it took several faxes before he got it right. He didn't object to doing it, he just kept filling out the form wrong.

 

We had a form that our TA emailed us that I think came from RCI.

 

Of course, our situation was different, being grandparents, but you'd better believe the staff at check-in studied those forms and matched up each child with each form and birth certificate. They were also checked, but much less thoroughly, when we disembarked, at customs.

 

A note; I am often mistaken for my grandchildren's mother (yay!) and when we first started checking in the agent asked if these were my kids. I am reasonably sure that if I had answered 'yes', that would have been that. I didn't, of course, but that was the impression I got.

 

We also needed the letter for the kids to participate in kid's club, the climbing wall, ice skating, etc., but only needed it the first time for each activity.

 

Get the letter. If you can't, you can go through the courts to get a legal permission to travel with your kids. I know it seems like overkill, but....willing to risk the trip?

[CruisinGerman]

When I lived in the States, I used to chaperone high school trips that went to Mexico for Christmas and Spring break.

 

Mexico always had a rule that minors travelling without one or both parents needed a notarized letter signed by both parents (if travelling without both parents), or by the non-travelling parent (if travelling without one parent) in order to board the plane.

 

In major cities like Los Angeles with heavy traffic to Mexico, the airlines were usually overwhelmed by scores of passengers showing up without the letters. It is not a well-publicized fact, but these airlines used to have notaries right at the airport who would contact the parents by telephone and then sign an affidavit that was acceptable to the Mexican authorities to overcome this problem. That was way back in the days when a U.S. citizen didn't need a passport to travel by air to Mexico.

 

So in one form or another this rule has always existed, even before 9/11, the new passport rules, the anti-child abduction policies, and the Internet.

 

Kind regards,

 

Gunther and Uta

[SailingGrace]

I'd like to add my experience.

 

Single mom, 3 kids and we don't share the same last name.

 

Taken several cruises. And no, not even tell the dad. Why- deadbeat, don't even know where he is...alive/dead? Who knows?

 

Here's what I did...as I was so FEARFUL like alot of single parents about crossing the border and all....

 

1st- it's no big deal. For real. And I learned this after sweating bullets wondering if I could pull it off. Only to find...there's nothing to 'pull' off.

 

I type up a document on my computer that has all of our names, address, phone number...travel info. It includes the dad and ESTRANGED since ___________. Whereabouts unknown.

 

A lady at my bank notarized it for me.

 

That's it.

 

No questions asked...ever.

 

I then wanted to get passports....now I thought this was going to be difficult. NOT. Same thing..... there is a form for estranged parents. All three of my children got their passports easily.

 

So, don't worry...stop stressing.... do a travel document. Get a passport. Leave the court papers/ medical records of sperm donations, etc.... leave 'em at home.

 

Also, to ease your minds there are a few travel sites dedicated to single parent travel.... lots of legal resources...and about different countries. I really thought I'd have a hard time going to Korea...NOT. Was as easy as Mexico.

[pam_1024]

As a single parent, my thought on this is, why take chances? I save up money for a year or more each cruise we take, and no way am i taking a chance that we won't get on that ship because of paperwork! :p My 15 yo son's dad and i were never married but son has his last name. Each cruise we take, i have both passports, both birth certificates since our last names are different and a signed, notarized letter from his dad. This takes practically no time or effort, and I can rest easy knowing that, should I be asked, I have everything I need. We have been on 2 cruises and I haven't been asked, but why take a chance on missing out on a wonderful vacation that i've been saving for for months? Better to be safe than sorry! ;)

[CaptData]

I was asked the last time I travelled with a grandchild. She was asked the relationship to me. Did not show paper until she got upset at the question. We are from Canada.

[Former Goalie]

As a single parent, my thought on this is, why take chances? I save up money for a year or more each cruise we take, and no way am i taking a chance that we won't get on that ship because of paperwork! :p My 15 yo son's dad and i were never married but son has his last name. Each cruise we take, i have both passports, both birth certificates since our last names are different and a signed, notarized letter from his dad. This takes practically no time or effort, and I can rest easy knowing that, should I be asked, I have everything I need. We have been on 2 cruises and I haven't been asked, but why take a chance on missing out on a wonderful vacation that i've been saving for for months? Better to be safe than sorry! ;)

I can understand your feeling it is better to be safe than sorry.

But, the fact is (if you go strictly by what RCI states in writing, at the current time) the notarized letter you referenced is not necessary.

For some, for a host of reasons, getting such a letter is not as simple a task as in your case.

[CasaSmith]

You should have a letter you never know.

 

Also, anyone who travels with a minor child that is not yours, like grandkids, nieces, nephews, or friends kids, should obtain a letter from the parents stating that you have the right to get medical treatments for the child because you never know what can happen.

 

Doctors will not treat a child unless it is a life or death issue. So you should have two letters or one that covers everything.

[bluemarlin1]

I've sailed with RCCL four times in the past four years with my kids and have never had a problem and never needed a notarized anything from my ex-husband. Could have something to do with the fact that my last name is the same as the kids on my passport (I kept my married name for continuity with the kids' names). Again, have never had any kind of issue at embarkation nor been asked for anything other than our passports.

[bluemarlin1]

From RCI's website....

Family Legal Documents

 

Should the last names of the parent and minor child traveling with them differ, the parent is required to present the child's valid passport and visa (if required) and the child's birth certificate (original, a notarized copy or a certified copy). The name of the parent(s) and the child must be linked through legal documentation.

 

Different Surnames (Last Names):

If a woman has several surnames on different documents such as birth certificate and drivers license, then she must bridge the difference with other documents, such as, marriage license and/or divorce papers. The additional bridging documents must be the original or a certified or notarized copy.

 

Adults who are not the parent or Legal Guardian of any minor child traveling with them are required to present the child's valid passport and visa or the child's birth certificate (original, a notarized copy or a certified copy) and an original notarized letter signed by at least one of the child's parents. The notarized letter from the child's parent must authorize the traveling adult to take the child on the specific cruise, must authorize guardian to sign legal documentation/waivers for participation in any activities requiring them (i.e. Rock Climbing, Flowrider, Bungee Trampoline, Inline Skating, or Ice Skating) and must authorize the traveling adult to supervise the child and permit any medical treatment that must be administered to the child. If a non-parent adult is a Legal Guardian, the adult must present a certified certificate of Guardianship with respect to the child.

 

No mention of notarized letter regarding divorce/estrangement. Thats all she wrote, folks!

[Nebr.cruiser]

Yes to the above, it seems very clear that you won't need the permission letter; as long as they follow their own guidelines, you should be fine. But, do they, always? I'd be prepared, just in case.

[iluvcruzin]

It's a shame all that paperwork is necessary. I cruised with my kids as a single parent many times when they were young. We had the same last name so maybe that's why I was never questioned. Also the time we went was during spring break and I met many married moms who were cruising alone with their kids. I guess things change so it's best to be safe than sorry.

[TigerLady]

Will I need a note from my ex husband in order to take our boys on this cruise? We leave from NJ. Thanks!

I did when I took my kids on their first cruise. He must give permission, and yes, it must be notorized. Also bring divorce decree showing custody. They have become "picky" aboiut this lately.. Hope this helps..

[heather5458]

I am a single adoptive mom and have had a few times where flying into Mexico it was near impossible to get on the plane because I did not have one of these "letters". Even with there being no father and this is even shown on the birth certificate. So my 2 cents are as follows. If you are worried about getting on the cruise it sounds like it should not be a problem but for some reason if you need to go through customs to get into Mexico you will need one.

[waterbug123]

 

Doctors will not treat a child unless it is a life or death issue. So you should have two letters or one that covers everything.

 

While I would certainly recommend having a letter for any child who is not yours, to say that a doctor will not treat them unless it is life or death is not necessarily true; please don't make statements that imply that it is. Case in point:

Some years ago our family was camping with another family. Other family's son brought a friend. The friend fell, and broke his elbow. The other mom and I took him to the nearest hospital, where it was determined he needed surgery to put a pin in. No letter, no insurance card, his parents were physically unable to come to the hospital, and certainly not a life and death situation, but he was treated (i.e. operated on) all the same.

[train]

Did anyone see the Planet Green "Oasis of the Seas" documentary? There was a scenario in that show where the mom did not have any signed paperwork from the kids' dad. Fortunately, the staff assisted her in getting the proper permission faxed to the ship in time, and she was allowed to board.

[crazy4themouse]

Did anyone see the Planet Green "Oasis of the Seas" documentary? There was a scenario in that show where the mom did not have any signed paperwork from the kids' dad. Fortunately, the staff assisted her in getting the proper permission faxed to the ship in time, and she was allowed to board.

 

 

She fell into one of the situations discussed here, and in RCCL's documentation requirements: She had a different last name than her children.

 

 

 

I did when I took my kids on their first cruise. He must give permission, and yes, it must be notorized. Also bring divorce decree showing custody. They have become "picky" aboiut this lately.. Hope this helps..

 

 

This is exactly the kind of misinformation that makes other single parents freak out about cruising, and just what we were talking about. NO permission is needed, and NO letter must be notarized, unless you fall into one of the specific situations RCCL spells out. I have cruised "lately", and I have cruised a decade ago, and a number of times in between, all as a single parent -- they are not any "pickier" than they ever were.

 

If you needed a letter, they would say that. Again, it wouldn't look very good for them if they turned a bunch of people away at the pier... They only turn away the ones who don't read the documentation requirements and don't have what they need to present to board, when it is all spelled out for them ahead of time.

[Betsy's Mom]

As I understand the situation it is the US Gov. that makes the rules, not the cruise line. These rules are to prevent children being "snatched" by non custodial parents etc. They have become very strict about this in the past year.

Be safe not sorry.:p:

B.

[Former Goalie]

As I understand the situation it is the US Gov. that makes the rules' date=' not the cruise line. These rules are to prevent children being "snatched" by non custodial parents etc. They have become very strict about this in the past year.

Be safe not sorry.:p:

B.[/quote']

As I stated before, don't you think RCI is in touch with DOS, DHS, immigration, and other relevant govt. agencies on a regular basis? Why would RCI then choose to post guidelines which are not fact? That simply makes no sense!

So, I have contacted THREE sources (RCI web site, RCI email from customer service, and my TA, a veteran of many years and a big producer at one of the large online agencies), and all THREE say the same thing - no notarized consent "letter" is needed from the non sailing parent, to the sailing parent with his/herchild.

I also stated NEVER ONCE in four RCI cruises in the circumstance we are talking about were we asked for a "letter".

If people feel more comfortable getting "the letter", more power to them, but in the specific instance we're addressing, IMO it is not needed.

Some on this thread are causing too much angst over "the letter". Read RCI Family Legal Documents section, email RCI with your question on your specific circumstance (I received a very prompt response on a Sunday), please go to the source, not get information which sometimes is mere opinion from an internet forum.