Travelling with a complainer...

[PennyAgain]

People who complain all the time are seeking attention. Don't give it to her. We used to have a family member, a very elderly aunt, who traveled with us as no one else in the family would do so. She could be wicked. She loved making people cry.

 

She ended up alone and entirely miserable. Still complaining.

 

We all avoided her. Very sad!

[klct39lg]

This topic reminds me of one of my favorite Shel Silverstein poems. I used to read it to my oldest son who can be a complainer sometimes. Now, when he starts complaining I just recite the last 2 lines; it usually makes him smile.

 

Complainin' Jack

 

(by Shel Silverstein)

"This morning my old jack-in-the-box

Popped out--and wouldn't get back-in-the-box.

he cried, "Hey, there's a tack-in-the-box,

And it's cutting me through and through.

 

"There also is a crack-in-the-box,

And I never find a snack-in-the-box,

And sometimes I hear a quack-in-the-box,

'Cause a duck lives in here too."

 

Complain, complain is all he did---

I finally had to close the lid."

[clackey]

OP berly369 if the complaining gets too bad I would perform an optorectomy on the person. Thats when you sever the cord that connects their eyeball to their rectum. It will improve their crappy outlook on life. :D :D :D :D

I've tried this but it didn't work. The best thing that I have found is to stay at the other end of the ship. If that fails, throw them overboard. Have you noticed how many people have fallen overboard this year? :rolleyes: You are welcome.;)

[michmike]

my dad told us that his mother taught him that when he was tempted to say "whata load of cow manure" he should instead say "how interesting". It used to put all of us in stitches when either grandma or dad would sit there and smile at someone and say "how interesting". Wish he was still around to entertain us.

 

The other thing that I have fun with onboard esp with strangers is to overhear a complaining conversation and then butt in and say "You know.. we had a very similar situation yesterday.. and I simply went down to the front desk and let them know about the problem and they not only resolved the problem for us, but they gave us a $50 onboard credit and a free shore excursion." We then laugh like hell as we watch them headed for the front desk. I'm sure it doesn't endear us to the front desk staff.. but I simply can't help myself.

[dforeigner]

Have her PCP (personal doctor) give her a prescription for these pills:

 

 

:D

[dforeigner]

And if she has difficulty swallowing tablets, then give these a try:

 

[PrettyLA]

We were on an Alaskan cruise with friends and family. One of the women brought her boyfriend [older guy] and we were seated at same table for dinner. Every night at dinner he complained about everything. We ran into bad weather and missed Sitka and that night at dinner, he pointed his finger at me and said "This was YOUR bright idea, and the only reason I came on this cruise was for that port" My friend was mortified and I left the table in tears with my husband furious. I did not eat in the dining room for the rest of the cruise, because I didn't want to sit at the same table. Friend broke up with him after that but it ruined my cruise. Avoid the complainer at all costs!

 

Wow, what a jerk. I think I would have told him off and stuck up for myself, but who knows for sure what we will do when we are actually in the situation.

[Coolmama_1]

This topic reminds me of one of my favorite Shel Silverstein poems. I used to read it to my oldest son who can be a complainer sometimes. Now, when he starts complaining I just recite the last 2 lines; it usually makes him smile.

 

Complainin' Jack

 

(by Shel Silverstein)

 

"This morning my old jack-in-the-box

Popped out--and wouldn't get back-in-the-box.

he cried, "Hey, there's a tack-in-the-box,

And it's cutting me through and through.

 

"There also is a crack-in-the-box,

And I never find a snack-in-the-box,

And sometimes I hear a quack-in-the-box,

'Cause a duck lives in here too."

 

Complain, complain is all he did---

I finally had to close the lid."

 

Where the Sidewalk Ends and A Light in the Attic were my daughter's 2 favorite books!:)

[KC_fn]

LOL dforeigner

[berly369]

Thank you for all your kind words and support. I have always heard "other" people on cruises complaining, and would hope I would never have to travel with someone like that. I feel sorry for my friend who has to put up with her mother, not just on the cruise but on a daily basis. (she also paid for the cruise for her parents also) Which is another reason I never want to hear complaining from her. I wish I had a family member who would fork out $5000 for me to go on a cruise.:o

[Krazy Kruizers]

Are you all going to be dining together? If so, try not to sit at the same table. If you are assigned the same table, ask to be moved. Otherwise you can try to avoid this person as much as possible.

[ger_77]

berly369: We were seated with 1 couple where the fellow couldn't find anything to be positive out. Too hot, too cold, shore excursion too long, too much sun, etc., and we dealt with him for 3 nights of chronic complaining. I tried countering with positive-isms and just couldn't bring myself to do same on the 4th night, as I was tired of his going on and on. When he started complaining about the "long" sea day we'd just had, I simply piped up and said "Well don't let it ruin your whole holiday Bob, or you won't remember a single thing about the trip you and your wife planned for your anniversary. Sandy, are you having a good time?" His wife quietly turned to Bob and said "that's enough, we're on vacation". I felt sorry for her, as she had to deal with him on a 24/7/365 basis, while we only had to put up with him at dinners for 2 weeks.

 

he pointed his finger at me and said "This was YOUR bright idea, and the only reason I came on this cruise was for that port"

My response to the boor would have been "Sorry, did you want me to give you your money back? Grow up." You really can't allow somebody else to ruin your holiday; life's too short to have to put up with the likes of him!

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[yiddishkopf]

Personally, I would rather take out my own gall bladder with a rusty kitchen knife than travel with a complainer. Before my retirement, I worked for a non profit organization. When we had conferences, we had to share rooms because we were spending charitable dollars. I frequently was placed with a chronic complainer who was also a hypochondriac and couldn't make a decision about what to wear. Every morning it was: "navy blazer or black jacket; gold earring or silver earrings?" I learned to get up very early and get out of the room to take a daily walk.

[CC Help Michell]

Thank you for all your kind words and support. I have always heard "other" people on cruises complaining, and would hope I would never have to travel with someone like that. I feel sorry for my friend who has to put up with her mother, not just on the cruise but on a daily basis. (she also paid for the cruise for her parents also) Which is another reason I never want to hear complaining from her. I wish I had a family member who would fork out $5000 for me to go on a cruise.:o

 

Here's what I would do. Since it's not YOUR mother (and believe me, mine's about as bad as your friend's, which is why we haven't and won't vacation together since I was 14 years old!) quit worrying about your friend's mom, whom you can't control or change.

 

Put your good energy and happy thoughts into your friend -- pick either a sea day for a facial at the spa, or a fun excursion you both are interested in, and give your friend a treat AWAY from her mom. Tell her it's a late or early birthday or Christmas present, so she can relay that to her mom. As part of the "present," give her a couple of magazines on topics of interest to her mom -- needlepoint, gardening, whatever -- so your friend can hand them to mom to keep her busy during the treat. What's the worst that can happen? Mom will complain more (like that's a change?), and your friend will get a few hours of peace and quiet with you!

 

Note this assumes she's a pretty good friend! ;) It won't be cheap but if it lets you avoid the mom and spend some time with your friend, it might be worth it.

[Happy ks]

I have a dear aunt whom we travel with and she does get under everyones skin at times. But we love her and no way would we dream of excluding her. How we handle it is to take turns being with her. She's not made aware of it, it's between us...an agreement we discuss before hand :rolleyes: .

 

Thank goodness she's not a complainer, though. She's just a bit scatter brained, slow and kind of weighs you down. She's in great health and can keep up with all of us physically, sometimes has more energy than the rest of us. She's just always 10 paces behind because she wants to stop and look at everything and talk to everyone. The only problem is, she doesn't realize when it's not appropriate, like when we are going to board the tour bus or when there is a huge line behind her. Thank goodness she will chuckle at the times when I have actually put my hand at the small of her back and pushed her along!

 

I've told her she has 2 speeds....stop and reverse :p

 

So, try to share her a bit, it won't ruin your whole vacation to spend an hour or so with her :) , if you are happy and positive it might make her day a little brighter. If that doesn't work, just walk away, life is too short to listen to others complain all the time.

[Chorts]

This usually works for me.......... upon hearing a complaint, I smile sweetly at the complainer and say "interesting". That's it.....just that one word. Sorta takes them by surprise.

[firefly333]

We ate with a complainer couple and it made my cruise. I thought it was amusing. Just change your attitude and indulge them. I did keep a straight face but thought it funny that they could complain about just about anything.

[Ivanova]

I have planned and waited for my cruise for over a year now. A friend is bringing her parents, and the mom is a constant complainer about everything. With the cruise a month away, I am already dreading the negative comments that will come from her. We are travelling with 13 others and I have already told my DH that I will purposely keep my distance to avoid saying something I might regret. Has anyone else travelled with someone like this, and how did you handle the situation??:confused:

 

PS It is a 15 night cruise:eek:

 

We had a group of 21 people on a 14 night cruise ... one of the travelers, mom of one of our friends is a royal complaining PITA ... we survived ... mostly by ignoring her

[Ivanova]

We were on an Alaskan cruise with friends and family. One of the women brought her boyfriend [older guy] and we were seated at same table for dinner. Every night at dinner he complained about everything. We ran into bad weather and missed Sitka and that night at dinner, he pointed his finger at me and said "This was YOUR bright idea, and the only reason I came on this cruise was for that port" My friend was mortified and I left the table in tears with my husband furious. I did not eat in the dining room for the rest of the cruise, because I didn't want to sit at the same table. Friend broke up with him after that but it ruined my cruise. Avoid the complainer at all costs!

 

I would've calmly looked him in the eye and said "only an idiot goes on a cruise for a specific port."

[Seago2]

Been there! How about Day 2 (sea day), where my great aunt sat next to me by the pool (I had let my guard down and shut my eyes) and said I had a compulsive eating problem? Every bite I ate for the next 5 days I was conscious of and nervous about- ON A CRUISE.

 

We turned it into a game. The kids always watched out for where she was and told me or my mother. We were never caught unaware again. Sorry to say she had a few "lonely" breakfasts in the buffet, but she also has a habit of talking compulsively to people at other tables. She made a lot of friends that way. She ended up going to port with two people she met and still corresponds with them now.

 

If your friend's mother gets really bad just freeze her out. You'll learn where to hang out. She'll come up to you, out of breath, "I was looking for you!!!" a couple of times and then she will get sick of it. Then she'll meet other people and have her own good time.

[bakechef]

I work in multiple locations in my job, and my tuesday location, has a chronic complainer. I used to hate confrontation but now I just call her on the complaining all of the time. I'll say "boy your life sounds horrible, I hope that something good happens for you soon" and she usually just looks like a deer caught in the headlights, I am finding that she complains less and less around me, because she knows I will not let it slide.

 

It is not until people make them painfully aware of their affliction that they start to realize the problem, although some are so deep in the mud that they will never see the light.

 

MAC

[TenerifeSharon]

Been there! How about Day 2 (sea day), where my great aunt sat next to me by the pool (I had let my guard down and shut my eyes) and said I had a compulsive eating problem? Every bite I ate for the next 5 days I was conscious of and nervous about- ON A CRUISE.

 

We turned it into a game. The kids always watched out for where she was and told me or my mother. We were never caught unaware again. Sorry to say she had a few "lonely" breakfasts in the buffet, but she also has a habit of talking compulsively to people at other tables. She made a lot of friends that way. She ended up going to port with two people she met and still corresponds with them now.

 

If your friend's mother gets really bad just freeze her out. You'll learn where to hang out. She'll come up to you, out of breath, "I was looking for you!!!" a couple of times and then she will get sick of it. Then she'll meet other people and have her own good time.

Carla, I really did have quite a laugh about your great aunt's comment. If you look at all like your avatar, then your great-aunt can only be jealous. I don't know any compulsive eater who looks nearly as svelte as you do!

[Carlz]

hi!

serial complainers do it because of the pay off they get. The best way to deal with it (if you do not want conflict) is to deflect the "pay off" by just agreeing!

 

ie: "oh this coffee is too weak" say "You're sooooooo right!"

 

Serial complainers are not used to people agreeing with them! They tend to just have a shocked expression:eek: when it happens! lol I have a similar situation in my life with a family member and I used to get so worked up over stuff he said...now I just agree and then do what I wanted to do anyway. It really works for me!

 

but seriously just remember:

1.for this lady it is a life long learned habit, you are not going to change her!

2.you may find if you dwell on it too much you will end up being the serial complainer...complaining about her!:)

 

I wish you a bon voyage and a wonderful complain free vacation!

[KarenMF]

I work in multiple locations in my job, and my tuesday location, has a chronic complainer. I used to hate confrontation but now I just call her on the complaining all of the time. I'll say "boy your life sounds horrible, I hope that something good happens for you soon" and she usually just looks like a deer caught in the headlights, I am finding that she complains less and less around me, because she knows I will not let it slide.

 

It is not until people make them painfully aware of their affliction that they start to realize the problem, although some are so deep in the mud that they will never see the light.

 

MAC

 

I work with two constant complainers. I'm a teacher and we went back to work last week and I had forgotten how much one of them complains. I am her department head, so she comes to me with complaints a lot! If I don't give her the answer she wants, she just rephrases the question thinking I'll change my answer! I'm trying to be positive around her, but I find myself complaining about her to to her people and I don't want to do that! sigh.....

[Cruise Cat]

OMG!!!! We are unfortunately becomming veterans at this! My wife's grandmother is never happy, and once we brought along one of my wife's aunts who was just as bad.

 

We try a few things, some work and some don't:

 

Find and Print out copies of the cruise dailys right after you book. This takes away the complaint when she finds out some event occured on the ship that she missed. Second, we remind her that some of these things occur while we are in port as we remind her that we could miss a port for some reason. Give her info on the ports too.

 

Also print out the map of the ship months ahead so she can't complain that she did not know where something was.

 

At dinner, I talk to our waiter the first day and tell him/her how fussy she is. I tell them if they keep her iced tea and water full all the time and take good care of her, I will give them a really nice tip (and I do). I also ask them to make sure they confirm her order and explain it to her. If they forget this, I will ask about her entre like, "How is that ______ prepared and what's in it?" I've also asked the head waiter for our section to address her directly when he comes around and asks how everything was. This way, if she complains to us but did not have the nerve to tell him, we ask, "Well why didn't you tell him that?"

 

In other words, I take away the triggers that she (and most complainers) use to start their complaint rant. To me, it seems you have two choices - ignore them or cut them off at the pass.