Dress Code

[RnD]

My wife and I have taken many cruises and at times enjoy getting "somewhat" dressed up, though on Cunard dressing up was part of the fun.

 

In January we are taking the Zuiderdam for a partial Panama Canal transit.

 

We have taken many (55-?) cruises and it seems the dress codes have slackened quite a bit from the days you would be turned away if men were not wearing jackets (which they supplied if need be).

 

We have family from the west coast joining us on this trip, and we know from prior experiences that my cousin simply refuses to dress up regardless of the restaurant. He will wear long pants and a neat shirt, but the word jacket does not seem to be part of his vocabulary. Do not get me wrong, he has very refined tastes and in fact is somewhat of a wine connoisseur. Will we have a problem for the two "dress up nights," if he refuses to wear a jacket. What we mean is will they turn us away. I know he does not worry about glaring guests, since he feels it is his right to dress any way he chooses as long as it is in good taste and he is neat?

[catl331]

this is one of those things that vary from ship to ship, cruise to cruise. I have seen them give a jacket to someone who did not wear one and others have seen them send people to the Lido for dinner. I doubt he will feel odd being the only man without a jacket due to his feelings about the subject. One never kinows. My son-in-law got in without a tie one formal night (he forgot one). He got dirty looks from some of the diners. Just in case your friend is refused entry--there is room service!

[fann1sh]

Oops...typed slow, Catl331 posted first. I was going to suggest it varies by Maitre D'.

 

Perhaps you and your wife can decide in advance what to do if this becomes an issue: join him in the Lido; wave goodbye; or mention you have a spare jacket/tie in the cabin if he wants to borrow them.

[sail7seas]

He well could be refused admittance to the dining room on formal nights if he is not wearing a jacket and tie. HAL has made the very most minimal description of what they require for formal and it stops at jacket and tie for gentlemen. That is not usually considered formal anywhere else so they do expect that minimum be observed.

 

He probably can go to Lido those nights though HAL does state the dress code for the evening is for all public areas for the evening....not just for dinner.

 

[pipedreams62]

[iancal]

Varies by ship. HAL are not know as a line that enforces dress standards uniformly across the fleet...hence they have created the problem. I would never worry about 'dirty looks' from other diners...these would be from people who are not worth knowing or speaking to-they are generally absorbed in their own self importance or sense of worth.

[mamaofami]

You should discuss an alternate dining plan before the cruise. Will you part company for dinner if he's not allowed in, or will you join them in the Lido?

Talking about it before hand will let everyone know what to expect. If he's taking a shirt, it's so easy to include a jacket. He can wear it on the plane if need be.

[ehschief]

We were on the Rotterdam Baltic cruise last summer. We were a group of 9, the 4 men did not wear jackets on formal nights, they all wore nice pants with shirts and ties. When traveling to Europe for 3-4 weeks, where most of the time we travel on our own, we always try to pack light and felt that 3 nights was not worth bringing jackets. They were very presentable, no one said a word. We are going on a New England/Canada this year and the guys will all wear their tuxedos and nice jackets. I think each situation warrants proper attention to what is best for the traveler.

[fann1sh]

It's amazing to me how many people on these boards think dress codes are about snobbery or freedom, meeting or not meeting social standards, or mutual judgments from both sides of the aisle.

 

For me, all of that is nonsense. It's about blue mud.

 

Huh?

 

Well, I read a lot of SF, including the classics by Robert A. Heinlein. Heinlein's fictional character Lazarus Long is the longest lived human. Aside from genetics, the key to his longevity is knowing his fellow human animals, and how to avoid trouble. "Whenever the locals rub blue mud in their navels, I rub blue mud in mine just as solemnly."

 

I don't think that will change any minds here, but I thought I'd throw it into the pot.

[Sleepladypalmdesert]

I also noticed some men without jackets on our recent Hawaiian cruise on the Zaandam. When the women were very dressed up it seemed that they did not really focus too much on the men, unless they were really dressed down. We did see a couple turned away for being late. Otherwise, as long as folks were dressy they seemed to be allowed in. My DH usually wears slacks and a jacket/tie on formal nights. No problem for him. I usually go all out and really dress up. My one chance tol use my formal wear and I love it. I would guess it your entire party is really dressy and formal and the one is dressed nicely buy without jacket, he will be allowed in. Forget the dirty looks from other diners.

 

On our recent cruise I also saw a young couple, perhaps newly weds, dressed in bathrobes getting breakfast in the lido and taking their meal out on the lido, very giggly and lovey dovey. The only people that were giving dirty looks were the other cruisers. The staff seemed unfazed.

[cruz chic]

. I would never worry about 'dirty looks' from other diners...these would be from people who are not worth knowing or speaking to-they are generally absorbed in their own self importance or sense of worth.

While I don't think I've ever given anyone a dirty look for not dressing up I think it's about respect for yourself and others. Seems to me that some people that feel the need to dress in whatever they feel like are self absorbed.

[iancal]

ehschief.... I know exactly of what you speak. We are about to combine a South American cruise with a two-three week land trip. Like you, we will not be packing formal clothes for three weeks in the back of beyond in S. America just to conform on three dinner evenings on the ship.

[nana51]

I love the dress-up nights. Seems kind of selfish and silly not to wear a jacket. They aren't that uncomfortable. My husband who is a mechanic, even wore his nice suit he bought a few years ago. No complaints from him. Not his favorite thing to wear, but he managed fine. I agree that it seems your cousin is the one being self-centered.

[cb at sea]

There are cruiselines that DON'T require dressing up---But the "formal" nights are part of most cruises...and most will abide by the requirements!

[micro yaya]

we have been on 27 cruises, and to jacket or not to jacket is always a big problem in our house. my husband has worked hard all his life, and i never consiered his self centered. he hates to wear jackets and wished the man who invented ties should hang by one. he will wear a very nice silk shirt and dress pants on dress up night, and we have never had a problem on any of the 5 different lines we've been on.

[RuthC]

Your cousin may, or may not, be denied entry to the dining room if he arrives attired in casual wear on a formal night.

 

Perhaps he should plan either to wear the jacket w/tie. Or, he can simply plan not to put the Maitre d' in an awkward postion, by planning on room service or the Lido that night.

[Boytjie]

these would be from people who are not worth knowing or speaking to-they are generally absorbed in their own self

importance or sense of worth.

 

As opposed to those that 'are generally absorbed in their own self importance or sense of worth' and feel they don't have to follow dress codes? :rolleyes:

[Boytjie]

My DH usually wears slacks and a jacket/tie on formal nights. No problem for him. I usually go all out and really dress up. My one chance tol use my formal wear and I love it.

 

What I don't get is why the husbands won't dress formally to compliment their wives. Come on, make her happy and dress to match.

[sillysailor 1955]

While I don't think I've ever given anyone a dirty look for not dressing up I think it's about respect for yourself and others. Seems to me that some people that feel the need to dress in whatever they feel like are self absorbed.

 

I wholeheartedly agree with you. As they say "When in Rome do as the Romans do". If you cannot comply with dress codes sail on NCL where things are more "informal";)

[ehschief]

It is not always the case that someone does not want to comply, it is the logistics of traveling, my husband never refuses to dress up, in fact he enjoys it.

[iancal]

For most of our cruises, we have dressed formally. Some have been informal. I wear suits most days. My DW does not really care if we go formal or not....she just wants to get out of the winter and into the sun. Period. For some, we have not simply because we are light travellers and cannot see any point in schleeping formal wear for two or three weeks prior to, or after, a cruise just for two or three nights of Mr. and Mrs. Dress Up. Any one who has travelled often and independently will know what I am referring to. My point was that I would never, ever give anyone a dirty look for what they were wearing or not wearing or even make one of those snide comments-regardless of the social situation. Each to their own. And HAL are most anxious to take my custom both in terms of cruise fare, casino, and on board. So much so that they keep sending me bumph by email and by post.