suprise him yes or no??

Hey all. I have been trying to get my teen son to go on a cruise for the longest, his answer is always noooo!! He is afraid of al the water! So my question is if i surprise him and not tell him until we get to the cruise terminal,will I be wrong? I explained to him that there is alot to do and that its not as scary as he thinks! Im also afraid of alot of water but I still went(twice)and already addicted!! Also, for those who think I should, please give me some ideas on how to surprise him.

I don't think I'd surprise him with something he doesn't want to do. How much of a surprise is that? Maybe just tell him this is what you are doing, and he will have fun, but he should simply be thankful to have the opportunity.

Sounds like he has issue's, don't do it.

Kind of like being "surprised" with a 7 day jail sentence... :cool:

Absolutely not, he doesn't want to go, so why would you think a "surprise" would be a good idea? I'll speculate it's you who wants to go? So leave him home- supervised of course, and go without him.

I do not know but I have a friend that is afraid of heights. I love sky diving. Think I should drive her to the airport and tell her as we are walking toward the plane that she is going sky diving, shut up, and enjoy it? I have told her many times she would love it....just try it.

I think I get what you are trying to accomplish here... if you don't give him too much time to think about it ahead of time, maybe his fear won't get out of hand as compared to having too much time to think about it beforehand. That being said, I still would not do it. If you are going to have him come, I would tell him upfront (he may feel "tricked" otherwise - on top of feeling scared). Its ok if he is scared.. doesn't mean he won't be able to handle it (unless, of course, he has an all-out phobia). I guess it depends on just how scared he is.

Kind of like being "surprised" with a 7 day jail sentence... :cool:

Sadly, TRUE!

Sounds like a cruise would be something he would dread.... :o

LuLu

Is there a friend he has that would like to go along on a cruise with you all? Or maybe a cousin???

That could make all the difference and get him excited and less afraid!

I agree with the others that I wouldn't surprise him. What I would do is book a ship with a lot of activities & plan active shore excursions. Instead of saying, "we're going on a cruise", I'd tell him I booked our vacation. On the ship he'd be riding water slides, going through a rope course, bungee jumping, playing basketball, seeing a show he would find interesting or whatever your ship of choice may have that interests him. Follow that with, "In the ports, you can go ziplining, ride Segways, going amateur scuba diving, etc. Anything he would enjoy would help to get him excited about the trip as a whole & not concentrate on the fact he'll be on a lot of water. Tell him he'll have to go on a cruise to do all these things, but you feel sure he'll think it's worth it. Tell him all you ask is that he gives it a try. If he doesn't like it, you won't ask him to go again. That may help. Our DS went with us once. We didn't choose the right ship or itinerary & it took us a long time to talk him into going again. Since he had tried it, we didn't think it was right to force him. He's now ready to go with us again & we'll make a much more informed choice this time. Good luck. :)

NO! Would you surprise someone who is afraid of heights by dragging him to the top of the Empire State Building?

I had a teenage grandchild that wasn't keen on going. We got the its boring thing.

We showed her a bunch of videos on you tube of the ship, cabins, things to do on the ship, pools, and of course all the food choices. Also videos of the ports and excursions.

She decided to go after that and had a great time. In fact she wants to go on another cruise with us...

Hope this helps.

I hate surprises. And thats an understatement. So I am a bit biased here. But no way would I surprise anyone with something they didn't like. You are going to start your vacation out with a confrontation at the very best. It could only get worse from there. My guess is the next 7 days would be spent proving to you how horrid the cruise is.

My first thought would be to leave him home. You probably deserve a cruise w/o him.

If you can't leave him with someone you trust then offer to take a friend of his.

If that doesn.t work then just tell him he is going, period. However, you would gladly have him help plan excursions etc. Or, tell him if that won't help him then he can sit in the cabin and sulk.

Please don't surprise him! I have an irrational fear of heights and I would not appreciate being brought up in a plane and told to jump. You don't mention how old a teen he is, but if it's 16 or younger, you may do more harm to your relationship than good. Teens can be difficult, but the one thing that they need to count on is that they can trust their parents.

I wouldn't surprise him, but you also don't say what age of teenager. My 13 yr old reacts a LOT different to things than my 16 year old!

I can't even bribe my 16 year old for a trip to the grocery store with me let alone something that would take 7 days to do. He makes going shopping a horrible experience if he really doesn't want to go.

So sure you can surprise him but depending on your teens personality you might just be in for a week of stress and aggravation that you spent thousands of dollars on. I wouldn't chance it, but you really know your son the best.

Would it be reasonable to try a quick cruise to nowhere so he can see first hand the safety of these vessels, I like the video approach to warm them up to the idea

Has he even been close to a cruise ship? Maybe if you can get him close to one, so he can see just how huge these vessels are, he may not be so afraid.

No matter how you try to convince your son to come with you, it should at the end be his own choice to come along (or not), since it is fear that is the cause of his refusal to go on a cruise. To force him to do something he clearly has a phobia against doing, might turn in to a panic attack on board - and he might blame you for a loooong time for putting him in that kind of situation. On the other hand; it might go very well as well - the problem is that you just don't know in advance which way it will turn out, so I wouldn't take the risk if I were you (with the surprise cruise, I mean)...

Like somebody else suggested, maybe if he can take with him a friend or a cousin, he will feel more "safe" and say yes to go. And a short cruise (1-3 days) might be better than a longer one, just to start with. In the end, you are the one who knows your son best, and you are the one who has to come up with something that might change his mind about going on a cruise, but to force him in to it as a "surprise" is not the best way, in my opinion.

Original poster has not chimed in with additional info.

I highly doubt she is talking a true diagnosed psychological phobia, but if we are it is a totally different story.

My 2 cents which I am sure most will disagree with.

First off ABSOLUTELY do not surprise him.

The only way to overcome a fear is to face the fear. If you want to take him on the cruise and you as the parent feel that he will have a good time once on board then go.

You are the parent, you make the decisions. I have three teenage children now and I can honestly say I have never asked their permission, blessing or even discussed a vacation or any other major family financial decision . They go where we go, case closed. (Many here will think my parenting is extreme, but it works for us. I have one a freshman in an Ivy league school and one already committed and going to be a scholarship athlete - the other is only 13)

I am school teacher and my feeling is parents give children way too much control and power in their lives. Hell, my only child that has a cell phone is the one in college when I gave it to her for graduation.

We do not know your child like you do.

Trust you instincts, if you really think he will be panicked, holed up in the room with anxiety etc. don't book.

If you feel his Noo! is a teenager being a teenager and that once on board he will go with it, get accustomed to it etc. then just book it and tell him you are going.

Absolutely not, he doesn't want to go, so why would you think a "surprise" would be a good idea? I'll speculate it's you who wants to go? So leave him home- supervised of course, and go without him.

I've been reading some of your previous posts about cruising. Has he actually cruised? Or, are your posts speculation about family cruises?