the most bitter cruiser EVER!!!!

[RissaRN04]

Found another one for the Liberty, which I'll be going out on in November. Granted this review is from '06, but I really hope that the "Jerry Springer crowd" is still available to hang with, since they must've been the only ones enjoying this cruise!!!

 

http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=27388

[txstarla]

Hilarious! But I still don't want to do tequila shots on the lido deck with this psycho. And there are very few people that I do not want to do tequila shots with on the lido deck.

 

Oh contraire! I WANT to get her loaded, push her button, and see her go off!

[laumicmah]

WOW!!! 2 more fantastic one star wonders. Thanks for finding them.

[jmeans23970]

Found another one for the Liberty, which I'll be going out on in November. Granted this review is from '06, but I really hope that the "Jerry Springer crowd" is still available to hang with, since they must've been the only ones enjoying this cruise!!!

 

http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=27388

 

 

HIlarious HIghlights

 

I had a pretty good idea of Carnival’s primary demographic when I arrived on board. But what threw me off completely was the Jerry Springer contingent. This semi-illiterate, loud, ill-mannered and overbearing portion of the passengers may have been a minority but they had a significant impact on not only my experience but also that of my family and a number of other passengers I met. I have to give kudos to my sister for her tactfulness in dealing with her 11 year old son’s introduction to this “ugly American” stereotype. She was sure to point out that only a small minority of United States citizens wear their pajamas to the lunch buffet or speak like the Beverly Hillbillies. Luckily the Springer crowd tended to congregate in selected areas (usually ones with easy access to food, alcohol and slot machines).

 

 

I don’t want to hurt the feelings of the high school shop class that must have worked so hard at applying all that gold and silver spray paint and installing all those garish lights.

 

Conversely, the ship’s exterior is so uninspired and stiffly angular that one would think it was a leftover from the Soviet bloc

 

Next to the advice to adapt / lower / jettison my standards, the best tip I received on these boards was to upgrade to a balcony room where I could retreat when I couldn’t possibly take another moment of Carnival “fun”.

 

I can’t comment much on the fast food stations because they were favorites of the Jerry Springer crowd and so I did my best to avoid them.

 

 

After reading booze smugglers justifying their tackiness by blaming the outrageously high cost of drinks, I couldn’t believe how reasonable the ship’s drink prices were. Of course, I wasn’t comparing them to Hooters’ prices. Even the bottles of wine sold for much less than you would expect at any half decent restaurant.

 

On the night of the Captain’s Party a few of us decided to bypass the herd that packed itself into the Victoria Lounge for the cherished free cocktails and instead purchase our own drinks at the lobby bar (God forbid!).

 

I did get to see some of Carnival’s (in)famous “hairy chest contest” when played back (repeatedly) on the ship’s onboard TV channel. One would assume that such a contest would consist of a crowd of people cheering for the most hirsute contestant. But where’s the fun in that? Wouldn’t it be so much better if the judge was a blind-folded elderly lady who had to determine a winner by rubbing the chests of the contestants while they gyrated on her lap? (I'm not making this stuff up.)

[Teechur]

HIlarious HIghlights

 

I had a pretty good idea of Carnival’s primary demographic when I arrived on board. But what threw me off completely was the Jerry Springer contingent. This semi-illiterate, loud, ill-mannered and overbearing portion of the passengers may have been a minority but they had a significant impact on not only my experience but also that of my family and a number of other passengers I met. I have to give kudos to my sister for her tactfulness in dealing with her 11 year old son’s introduction to this “ugly American” stereotype. She was sure to point out that only a small minority of United States citizens wear their pajamas to the lunch buffet or speak like the Beverly Hillbillies. Luckily the Springer crowd tended to congregate in selected areas (usually ones with easy access to food, alcohol and slot machines).

 

 

I don’t want to hurt the feelings of the high school shop class that must have worked so hard at applying all that gold and silver spray paint and installing all those garish lights.

 

Conversely, the ship’s exterior is so uninspired and stiffly angular that one would think it was a leftover from the Soviet bloc

 

Next to the advice to adapt / lower / jettison my standards, the best tip I received on these boards was to upgrade to a balcony room where I could retreat when I couldn’t possibly take another moment of Carnival “fun”.

 

I can’t comment much on the fast food stations because they were favorites of the Jerry Springer crowd and so I did my best to avoid them.

 

 

After reading booze smugglers justifying their tackiness by blaming the outrageously high cost of drinks, I couldn’t believe how reasonable the ship’s drink prices were. Of course, I wasn’t comparing them to Hooters’ prices. Even the bottles of wine sold for much less than you would expect at any half decent restaurant.

 

On the night of the Captain’s Party a few of us decided to bypass the herd that packed itself into the Victoria Lounge for the cherished free cocktails and instead purchase our own drinks at the lobby bar (God forbid!).

 

I did get to see some of Carnival’s (in)famous “hairy chest contest” when played back (repeatedly) on the ship’s onboard TV channel. One would assume that such a contest would consist of a crowd of people cheering for the most hirsute contestant. But where’s the fun in that? Wouldn’t it be so much better if the judge was a blind-folded elderly lady who had to determine a winner by rubbing the chests of the contestants while they gyrated on her lap? (I'm not making this stuff up.)

Well, isn't HE an acid-tongued bitch!:eek: LMAO!:D

[ilovetexas]

It's late and I should be sleeping but can't stop laughing and imagining furry rodents flying through the air! I'm actually thinking of tying a string to my cat and tossing him at the next unsuspecting family member who walks in. ;)

 

I really hope she ran that review through spell and grammar check before she turned it in for her "college business presentation". Bless her little heart.

[Azspeed]

Well, isn't HE an acid-tongued bitch!:eek: LMAO!:D

 

Holy Cow! It's Charles from MASH - Pompous as ever.

[danman252]

OMG I haven't stopped laughing since I started reading this post :D. " Woman getting scratched by a hurled squirrel " that line killed me

 

Thanks OP for posting. too funny

[JLC@SD]

My favorite statement was:

 

"The ports of call were Belize, Limon, and Panama. Due to some error that no one really understood, we visited them in reverse order."

 

....I guess the Captain screwed up.....and sailed the entire cruise backwards....:D

[richkinkade]

"This indirect flight was not only boring and wasted our time, but also they didn’t serve us a meal. Thank goodness for travel insurance."

Could somebody explain to me where you can get travel insurance that compensates you for boring flights on which meals aren't served? I really want to know what happened when they filed a claim.

[mousey]

Well, isn't HE an acid-tongued bitch!:eek: LMAO!:D

 

Bless her little heart! :rolleyes: What a pompous a#s!

By the way anyone that watches "Chopped" on the Food Network can bat around the phrase "amuse bouche," it's not like he's Einstein because he says that. One of the best things about that review is that he says he won't cruise Carnival again so none of us that do will ever have to sail with him! Yay!:D

[Starlight Durban Cruising]

I mean, who throws a squirrel? Really.:D

 

LOL.

 

The best (for me): "A monkey was thrown on my shoulder and continued to drizzle his soda down my neck and all over my shirt; soaking me to the bone."

 

1. "DRIZZLED his soda" :rolleyes:. Does she work in Cupcakes Galore?

2. I'm picturing a monkey holding a soda can sipping thru a sippy-straw, then its boss saying "Jump monkey, Jump." LOL. It's a pity the monkey did not offer her a sip for an extra tip. MMMM, actually she might then have pulled out a wet-wipe to clean the dirty dang monkey ... and claimed the monkey tried to suffocate her when it shoved the wet-wipe down her throat.

[Cruzface]

LOL.

 

The best (for me): "A monkey was thrown on my shoulder and continued to drizzle his soda down my neck and all over my shirt; soaking me to the bone."

 

1. "DRIZZLED his soda" :rolleyes:. Does she work in Cupcakes Galore?

2. I'm picturing a monkey holding a soda can sipping thru a sippy-straw, then its boss saying "Jump monkey, Jump." LOL. It's a pity the monkey did not offer her a sip for an extra tip. MMMM, actually she might then have pulled out a wet-wipe to clean the dirty dang monkey ... and claimed the monkey tried to suffocate her when it shoved the wet-wipe down her throat.

 

Just picturing a monkey holding a can of Coke makes me laugh. Google "monkey drinking coke" and look at the images. LMAO!!!!

[bumorgan]

I can see her meeting with friends after getting home....How was your cruise? Oh it was just lovely the natives were so friendly giving us their pets to play with. :D

[elcuchio24]

"This indirect flight was not only boring and wasted our time, but also they didn’t serve us a meal. Thank goodness for travel insurance."

 

Could somebody explain to me where you can get travel insurance that compensates you for boring flights on which meals aren't served? I really want to know what happened when they filed a claim.

 

Haha I liked that too, complaining that there aren't constant non-stop flights from Miami to Hartford, CT?:p;)

[clearwatergirl]

I about spit my coffee on the screen when I read about the squirrel. And... everyone knows you put your extra mints in a drawer and don't leave them out to be seen. lol. I also like at the end where she said " Our cruise was as fun as we could make it". I would hate to see if she wasn't trying to have fun:eek:.

 

You and I must have been reading this at the same time. Just finished cleaning my screen. Geeesh, some people. :eek:

[crewsweeper]

As all this happened nearly 9 years ago, I wonder if she ever cruised again or is still on CC? I usually pay no mind to travel reviews older than 18 months as situations and circumstances can change dramatically.

[Cruzface]

I think I found the squirrel that was tossed on the fellow passenger!!! He has appaently moved on to bigger and better things...:cool:

 

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1417172943001/?intcmp=features

[Periwinkle19]

Sparkly Topped Hoochie = my new CB handle! (redneck joke for you hoity-toity types)

[laumicmah]

I think I found the squirrel that was tossed on the fellow passenger!!! He has appaently moved on to bigger and better things...:cool:

 

http://video.foxnews.com/v/1417172943001/?intcmp=features

That's awesome!!!

[winemama]

Found another one for the Liberty, which I'll be going out on in November. Granted this review is from '06, but I really hope that the "Jerry Springer crowd" is still available to hang with, since they must've been the only ones enjoying this cruise!!!

 

http://www.cruisecritic.com/memberreviews/memberreview.cfm?EntryID=27388

 

Are these people for freaking real????....

[Anjanu]

When I read "recycled" mints, my first thought was that they had been opened and partially eaten and then put on their pillow. :eek:

 

This thread had me laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face! I really enjoyed reading all of your comments! Thanks for the good hearty laughs!