Letting table mates know you won't be at dinner

[GUT2407]

yes

 

+1.

[Fouremco]

You've added detail of your own to the argument instead of asking the poster for clarification.

 

If the poster said it was for convenience and security and added that they were a 28 yr old female cruising alone, would you still say they're being ridiculous?

In post 25 I did ask for clarification, but 2Cats chose not to do so. Had he provided some type of logical explanation, the thread would have died pages ago.

 

As for the 28 year old female, yes. Saying "I won't be joining you for dinner tomorrow night" is simply not going to endanger her.

[Paul65]

If you are worried about stalkers, turning up at the MDR every night at the same time is by far the greater risk.

 

That was my thought, too. "I won't be here tomorrow evening" is saying a lot less about your schedule and whereabouts than saying, "see you tomorrow." (Though I would not be afraid to say either.)

[ewenix]

So please do explain how their security would in any way be compromised.

 

I would say the burden of proof lies on you to explain how it doesn't compromise their security.

Since you're taking the position that its never an issue you need to explain how this is always the same in all possible situations.

[Paul65]

I would say the burden of proof lies on you to explain how it doesn't compromise their security.

Since you're taking the position that its never an issue you need to explain how this is always the same in all possible situations.

 

Wrong. If someone suggests it's a security issue, I think it's upon that person to explain how. I mean, you could say it's a security issue to go out in public at all, and there might be some instances where that could be true. But to give that as general advice would, and should, be ridiculed.

[jayblue]

If you are traveling with a group, then you should tell them. If not, it's nobody's business where you are.

[jayblue]

+1.

 

Add 1 more.

[Sascol]

OH MY GOODNESS! Why is this so hard?

 

"I will not be at dinner tomorrow".

 

That's it - no more to be said. Nobody knows where you are or are not. You are missing from the table. THAT'S IT.

 

Class dismissed.

 

Now - I am leaving my computer. I am telling you all this. Hopefully this will not create a security breach.

 

Peace.

[JuliaNicker]

We don't inform the waiter or anyone else of our plans for convenience and security, unless we know our table mates very well.

 

For my possible answer I had to find out how to spell it. Paparazzi? Witness protection?

 

 

This has made my day !!

 

Just to really ask, are 2CatsInFlorida for real ?

This is a wind up,

 

Well done to BillOh for the great reply.

[MNfamilycruiser]

Someone previously asked the question - but it didn't get answered. I thought the MDR knew if you had booked a specialty restaurant? So they know ahead of time that you are not coming.

 

On our last cruise our wait staff asked how we had enjoyed the specialty restaurant when we returned the next night - so I assumed they got a list of some sort.

[Charles4515]

This has made my day !!

 

Just to really ask, are 2CatsInFlorida for real ?

This is a wind up,

 

I think they are for real. Apparently from one of their answers they have fallen for the lies of a web site that is run by a lawyer who will say anything to get appearences on the national media so he can get free publicity for his law firm. Everyone probably knows people with one or another irrationality. I have a friend who does not want me near him for two weeks after I get a flu shot. He thinks he can catch the flu from me because he read that somewhere 25 years ago.

[S.A.M.J.R.]

I would say the burden of proof lies on you to explain how it doesn't compromise their security.

Since you're taking the position that its never an issue you need to explain how this is always the same in all possible situations.

Well, it's difficult to prove a negative 100%, but I'd say the explanation on how it doesn't compromise security has been brought up repeatedly...

 

Saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" (which is all anyone is suggesting) doesn't say where you will be. You can be at the WJ, the theater, the casino, in your room, walking the deck, in the pool, in the library, at the sport court, at a bar, or any of the many other locations on the ship. So no, there is no security compromise by saying you won't be eating in the MDR.

 

Can you (or anyone) give just ONE possible situation where saying you won't be dining at a certain time would compromise security?

[BillOh]

We always let our waiters know not to expect us. I guess it's more of out of courtesy. We probably don't have to, but I figure it doesn't hurt to mention it if we know in advance. If it's a last minute decision to skip the dining room, then I wouldn't notify them.

 

Waiters and sometimes even cabin attendants know your specialty reservations. On Allure in 2013 we had late dining and our attendant was doing the turn down around then. He asked us one day," I see you are dining at chops tonight, Can I do your turn down then?"

 

 

On Freedom, we had Chops reservations for 45 minutes earlier on the last night. Our waiter said he saw we were eating at Chops the next night and thanked us for allowing him to serve us and to have a safe trip home. We told him We would probably come back before the end of dinner and have one last drink with our table mates. As soon as we arrived the drinks were there and he knew not to fuss over anything else. A pleasant experience.

[ewenix]

Well, it's difficult to prove a negative 100%, but I'd say the explanation on how it doesn't compromise security has been brought up repeatedly...

 

Saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" (which is all anyone is suggesting) doesn't say where you will be. You can be at the WJ, the theater, the casino, in your room, walking the deck, in the pool, in the library, at the sport court, at a bar, or any of the many other locations on the ship. So no, there is no security compromise by saying you won't be eating in the MDR.

 

Can you (or anyone) give just ONE possible situation where saying you won't be dining at a certain time would compromise security?

 

I think maybe the misunderstanding is what 'compromise security' means.

Giving out any information about yourself, your activities or whereabouts to strangers compromises your security.

That does not mean you are being physically threatened, or stalked or where ever you want to go with the next absurd reduction.

It just means you've released a piece of information that makes you somewhat more vulnerable.

We do this all the time and give out lots of information that we probably shouldn't. Most of the time nothing comes of it, and that's why we get complacent.

It's like making sure your 6 yr old doesn't start talking to a stranger in a park and telling them where they live and such. Most of the time they're probably fine giving out any information since the person in the park isn't a predator, but the child isn't capable of making that risk assessment. As the 6 yr old grows up they learn how to make that risk assessment. e.g. the stranger is the older brother of a friend. Giving out the info still makes that kid more vulnerable, but he/she is accepting that risk based on other factors.

 

Understand I'm simply saying it's not ridiculous for someone to make a personal decision to not give out information to the strangers at their table.

 

Also I agree that saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" in the vast majority of situations is the courteous and proper response.

[S.A.M.J.R.]

I think maybe the misunderstanding is what 'compromise security' means.

Giving out any information about yourself, your activities or whereabouts to strangers compromises your security.

That does not mean you are being physically threatened, or stalked or where ever you want to go with the next absurd reduction.

It just means you've released a piece of information that makes you somewhat more vulnerable.

We do this all the time and give out lots of information that we probably shouldn't. Most of the time nothing comes of it, and that's why we get complacent.

It's like making sure your 6 yr old doesn't start talking to a stranger in a park and telling them where they live and such. Most of the time they're probably fine giving out any information since the person in the park isn't a predator, but the child isn't capable of making that risk assessment. As the 6 yr old grows up they learn how to make that risk assessment. e.g. the stranger is the older brother of a friend. Giving out the info still makes that kid more vulnerable, but he/she is accepting that risk based on other factors.

 

Understand I'm simply saying it's not ridiculous for someone to make a personal decision to not give out information to the strangers at their table.

 

Also I agree that saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" in the vast majority of situations is the courteous and proper response.

While I know there are people who believe in not divulging anything (and that's their right) about themselves, I think taking that to the level of not being willing to say where you WON'T be (unless you're saying you won't be at home) is too extreme.

 

I won't be in New York City tomorrow.

I won't be on a cruise ship tomorrow.

I won't be in Asia tomorrow.

I won't be in outer space tomorrow.

 

Come and get me.

[CruisinShips]

I think maybe the misunderstanding is what 'compromise security' means.

Giving out any information about yourself, your activities or whereabouts to strangers compromises your security.

That does not mean you are being physically threatened, or stalked or where ever you want to go with the next absurd reduction.

It just means you've released a piece of information that makes you somewhat more vulnerable.

We do this all the time and give out lots of information that we probably shouldn't. Most of the time nothing comes of it, and that's why we get complacent.

It's like making sure your 6 yr old doesn't start talking to a stranger in a park and telling them where they live and such. Most of the time they're probably fine giving out any information since the person in the park isn't a predator, but the child isn't capable of making that risk assessment. As the 6 yr old grows up they learn how to make that risk assessment. e.g. the stranger is the older brother of a friend. Giving out the info still makes that kid more vulnerable, but he/she is accepting that risk based on other factors.

 

Understand I'm simply saying it's not ridiculous for someone to make a personal decision to not give out information to the strangers at their table.

 

Also I agree that saying "I won't be joining you tomorrow" in the vast majority of situations is the courteous and proper response.

 

That being said...stepping foot out of one's cabin compromises one's security/safety. The discussion here is whether saying you're not joining your table-mates on a given night poses a realistic and reasonable enough threat to anyone's security so as to make it worth actually not mentioning it on the cruise ship.

[gr8.guy]

Waiters and sometimes even cabin attendants know your specialty reservations. On Allure in 2013 we had late dining and our attendant was doing the turn down around then. He asked us one day," I see you are dining at chops tonight, Can I do your turn down then?"

 

 

 

 

 

On Freedom, we had Chops reservations for 45 minutes earlier on the last night. Our waiter said he saw we were eating at Chops the next night and thanked us for allowing him to serve us and to have a safe trip home. We told him We would probably come back before the end of dinner and have one last drink with our table mates. As soon as we arrived the drinks were there and he knew not to fuss over anything else. A pleasant experience.

 

 

I have had that same experience, I've also seen my waiters in the windjammer and they would find us a table and return with our drinks and sodas. To me, that is awesome service, and these guys work really hard and when they go above and beyond, I will tip very well and I've even given WOW cards so many people on these boards take the staff for granted but these staff and your interaction with them can make your vacation so much more memorable.

[Paul65]

Understand I'm simply saying it's not ridiculous for someone to make a personal decision to not give out information to the strangers at their table.

 

I understand that you're saying that, but I disagree. I think it is ridiculous. Someone that worried about divulging something as benign as "I won't be joining you for dinner tomorrow" might as well not interact with other people at all. Normal table conversation about what your name is, where you're from, what you do for a living, etc. is not a significant risk to your security, in my opinion, but it is more revealing than whether you'll be dining at the MDR the next evening.

[critterchick]

I agree with 2cats to a point as well.

There's no reason tablemates need to know your whereabouts or schedule, but if you want to let them know that's a personal decision.

 

There's an awful lot of folks in this forum using the logical fallacy of appeal to extreme in order to poke fun at 2cats.

 

2cats simple stated they wouldn't say for convenience and security.

Someone is now asking why it compromises their safety to let someone know they're eating at Chops and not the MDR. You've added detail of your own to the argument instead of asking the poster for clarification.

 

If the poster said it was for convenience and security and added that they were a 28 yr old female cruising alone, would you still say they're being ridiculous?

 

Perhaps it's my military experience combined with experiences such as learning to fly an airplane, but you should always be aware of your surroundings and be reasonably prepared for emergency situations. If you're bopping around feeling safe because there's a security guard on board, or at the mall, or a police car just drove by then you my friend are a good target.

 

Although I agree with your last paragraph, I do think that it's ridiculous to think that telling your tablemates or waitstaff that you won't be in the MDR is a security issue. Yes, it's a piece of personal information, but it's useless to anybody unless you tell them more.

 

The sticky wicket is when somebody says, "really? where will you be?" Then you have a choice of looking paranoid and a little rude when you reply, "I'd rather not say," or incautious if you say, "I'm feeling sad and lonely so I'm going to dine alone in my cabin." My solution, whether travelling with DH, friends or solo, is first just to have a table for 2. If that fails, then I tell our waitstaff not to hold things up on our account.

 

If you are traveling with a group, then you should tell them. If not, it's nobody's business where you are.

 

But it is there business where you aren't (at the table) if your absence will delay their dinner.

[MNfamilycruiser]

Waiters and sometimes even cabin attendants know your specialty reservations. On Allure in 2013 we had late dining and our attendant was doing the turn down around then. He asked us one day," I see you are dining at chops tonight, Can I do your turn down then?"

 

 

On Freedom, we had Chops reservations for 45 minutes earlier on the last night. Our waiter said he saw we were eating at Chops the next night and thanked us for allowing him to serve us and to have a safe trip home. We told him We would probably come back before the end of dinner and have one last drink with our table mates. As soon as we arrived the drinks were there and he knew not to fuss over anything else. A pleasant experience.

 

Thank you for answering my question :D

I might still tell my tablemates (if we had any - many times even though we asked to be at a big table we have been by ourselves. Maybe they thought our teenagers would be too much ;) )

[jayblue]

Although I agree with your last paragraph, I do think that it's ridiculous to think that telling your tablemates or waitstaff that you won't be in the MDR is a security issue. Yes, it's a piece of personal information, but it's useless to anybody unless you tell them more.

 

The sticky wicket is when somebody says, "really? where will you be?" Then you have a choice of looking paranoid and a little rude when you reply, "I'd rather not say," or incautious if you say, "I'm feeling sad and lonely so I'm going to dine alone in my cabin." My solution, whether travelling with DH, friends or solo, is first just to have a table for 2. If that fails, then I tell our waitstaff not to hold things up on our account.

 

 

 

But it is there business where you aren't (at the table) if your absence will delay their dinner.

 

Not so. I would not be the person who decides when dinner is supposed to be served.

 

It's been a few years since I've cruised, but the waiters never waited for absentee guests to arrive back then. They wait now at their own discretion.

[Mark-Sheffield]

On our last RCI cruise, after the few days the assistant waiter would have drinks on the table for when we arrived, so it would have been bad mannered not to let them know that we were dining else where on different nights

[LuvBNatC]

As a criminal, I really wish 2CatsInFlorida would not have made such a post, and ruined everything for me and those like me.

 

I happen to go on cruises with the specific goal of being seated with really wealthy people in the MDR of a cruise ship just HOPING they will announce they won't be at dinner the following night. When I hear this, it creates my opening to do things. Bad things. Things that I can't explain here, but if you google "bad things criminals on cruises do when they hear people will be dining elsewhere the following night" you will figure it out for yourselves.

 

This has me laughing so hard, I can hardly see the screen through the tears of mirth! :D:D:D

 

I'm so glad to learn this about the criminal cruiser mind. I have added "tin foil hat" to my packing list. I will wear it to dinner in the MDR so it may transmit to me exactly who you are. If I make a specialty restaurant reservation, I will keep the time secret and approach the venue using a stealthy, zig-zag route to ensure I elude your deadly clutches.

[moknits]

I can't imagine any circumstance in which telling people you won't be coming to the MDR could be inconvenient or dangerous. What do you think could happen?

 

Obviously, someone will steal your seat in the MDR!:D

[JuliaNicker]

I have added "tin foil hat" to my packing list. I will wear it to dinner in the MDR so it may transmit to me exactly who you are. .

 

This is a great post, and a great thread.

Has made me smile.