Formal Dining Dress Code Enforcement - Lack Thereof

[Paul65]

It's not extremely rare. The person who ranted (and the thread is linked in my sig) about hairy legs putting them off the feed is a bit extreme and rare, but regularly posters complain to a high level about the clothing choices of others ruining their experience.

 

Message boards do tend to be a bit hyperbolic in nature and people tend to use absolutes to make their point of view seem more valid. This lends itself to my statement that many threads do, in fact, get to the point of people claiming their dinner was ruined or it was the worst meal ever.

 

 

The point I was originally making was based on those. The world is ending! The sky is falling! It was a micro-view of how I view the posts of most of the folks who get worked up over what others are wearing.

 

It is extremely rare and people who want to put down others who think differently than themselves tend to emphasize the rare extremes. It happens here and in just about every other internet discussion on just about every topic. The point you were making was based on that kind of dishonest rhetoric.

[poncho1973]

It's probally the last time the OP comes here to CC as all this mean banter surely makes this place look bad. I will never understand why people need to be rude and ignorant to each other on this site. I don't want to take away from all the very nice and helpful people here as here are many .

 

I think you might want to re-read the OP's first post and note what I've made bold below. I think they're a hearty sort that doesn't need coddling.

 

Ok, time for me to stir the pot a little and vent also. I see a lot of folks in this forum who've been cruising for years so I'd like to see what they have to say about it.

[poncho1973]

I take exception to the "Geriatric Prom" comment. I have been happily retired for a year and don't feel at all geriatric. The last prom I went to was 47 years ago, and styles have changed. I dress up more than at the "normal middle-class sit-down restaurant back home", which tend to be super casual, and feel comfortable and happy with what I am wearing. I don't care what you wear any night in the dining room as long as it looks clean and does not look like you wore it on the excursion you were on.

 

If it doesn't fit you, then it wasn't referring to you. Simple as that. Your view and feelings sound a lot like mine... you'll wear what you want to wear and don't care about what everyone else is doing. Sounds like we're aligned in that regard.

 

My comment about the Geriatric Prom® was in regards to how people talk about it. Like it is a sacred rite of passage for older persons and the heathens are ruining their ONE NIGHT EVER OF DRESSING UP because people either don't dress up or... and this one really baffles me... people do dress up, but don't stay dressed up the entire evening as a symbol of how important the night is. My sarcasm and eye-rolling is because you should do whatever you want to do and screw everyone else! Assuming you follow the basic rules provided by the establishment you are at.

 

There have been many comments over the years in these threads where people have basically said that they want to dress up, but want everyone else to dress up with them so they don't feel weird about dressing up. When everyone isn't dressed up, they feel awkward and no longer feel they can dress up.

 

I'm not sure what the participation % for someone like that is, but it seems like the issue runs a lot deeper than clothing.

 

Lesson 2- don't attempt to summarize what people have complained about in a humorous manner. Nobody seems to realize subjects are complained about so much that there should be a single, sticky thread for the 1000's of posts complaining about too dress and not dressed enough. And all of the descriptions of said level of dress.

 

I should know better, old friend.

[TravelerThom]

… I think the SIL was not clear in their discription of what the dress code was. ..

She was clear, or at least the OP made it sound like she was clear (wrong, but clear):

… I was part of a extended family group, of which included my sister-in-law and her husband, who are experienced cruisers. When she informed me of the dress requirements for dinner on these nights I was extremely upset. I feel that I'm on a vacation, not a business trip. After raising several levels of hell (and my blood pressure) over it, I relented and packed my suit along with a couple dress shirts and tie. :(…

I have a problem with the OP shifting the blame from his own family to the staff .

… I felt like I'd been played for a fool!:mad:I guess the staff didn't have the gonads to say anything to these folks…

I’m sticking with my comment:

Your "experienced cruiser" sister-in-law is the one who played you for a fool, not the cruise line with their SUGGESTION of what to wear on formal night.

So, did YOU have the gonads to say anything to your sister-in-law?:confused:

[RiotAct]

Since you mentioned it, I noticed on our invoice that we get automatically charged for gratuities. I'm curious how much of this goes to the room attendant and servers in the dining room and how much goes to the rest of the staff. We gave cash to both our room attendant and servers on our last trip, and will probably do the same again in April.

 

I also noticed the automatic 18% on drinks - I guess I won't be tipping the bartenders anymore!

 

You have made a fatal mistake. Prepare to be flamed mercilessly.

[RiotAct]

I know that tipping is almost an obsession for Americans

 

 

:confused: Not really...

[MustBCruzn]

It's not extremely rare. The person who ranted (and the thread is linked in my sig) about hairy legs putting them off the feed is a bit extreme and rare, but regularly posters complain to a high level about the clothing choices of others ruining their experience.

 

Hahaha! Thanks for sharing the link about the hairy legs, what a hoot! I knew from the moment the OP posted that we were in for a wild ride so I thought I should make some popcorn and get comfy. :D

[CheerMom15]

The hairy legs post was definitely entertaining..

 

OP... We are getting ready for our first cruise and none of our family has really cruised before so we aren't sure what to expect. I am hoping to use this opportunity to get my husband into a tux for the first time ever! We have been married 10 years and still haven't seen it! And I love love love getting dressed up.. So hopefully, just once, I can get him in a tux :D!! But I only imagine it will only happen once, and the rest of the time he will opt for more casual or "smart casual"... He isn't big on dressing up... but I have done my research and can see that dressing to the nines isn't as normal as it once was...

Edited January 12, 2016 by CheerMom15

[poncho1973]

The hairy legs post was definitely entertaining..

 

OP... We are getting ready for our first cruise and none of our family has really cruised before so we aren't sure what to expect. I am hoping to use this opportunity to get my husband into a tux for the first time ever! We have been married 10 years and still haven't seen it! And I love love love getting dressed up.. So hopefully, just once, I can get him in a tux :D!! But I only imagine it will only happen once, and the rest of the time he will opt for more casual or "smart casual"... He isn't big on dressing up... but I have done my research and can see that dressing to the nines isn't as normal as it once was...

 

The thing I learned once I went on a cruise for the first time was that people, real life people on the ship with you, generally don't seem to give a crap about what you're wearing as long as you're within the general perimeters of what people normally see at dinner. Even on formal night... or what used to be formal night.

 

I hope your husband indulges you for one night and you indulge him for more smart casual the rest of the trip. You can rent a tux on the ship. It's not cheap, but it's not like you have to drag it around with you from wherever you're coming from.

 

My wife gets me to dress up on occasion, too. It makes her happy. Although, as a general rule, we just dress reasonably nice every night and go with that. She buys a couple new dresses and I wear khakis & a nice shirt (I sound hideous, but then again, I'm a dude! - thanks insurance commercial) and I've never knowingly got any stink eyes.

[Ourusualbeach]

The thing I learned once I went on a cruise for the first time was that people, real life people on the ship with you, generally don't seem to give a crap about what you're wearing as long as you're within the general perimeters of what people normally see at dinner. Even on formal night... or what used to be formal night.

 

I hope your husband indulges you for one night and you indulge him for more smart casual the rest of the trip. You can rent a tux on the ship. It's not cheap, but it's not like you have to drag it around with you from wherever you're coming from.

 

My wife gets me to dress up on occasion, too. It makes her happy. Although, as a general rule, we just dress reasonably nice every night and go with that. She buys a couple new dresses and I wear khakis & a nice shirt (I sound hideous, but then again, I'm a dude! - thanks insurance commercial) and I've never knowingly got any stink eyes.

 

Mine as well. Something tells me that, if it weren't for the wives, formal night would be a lot less formal than it is now.:D

[CheerMom15]

The thing I learned once I went on a cruise for the first time was that people, real life people on the ship with you, generally don't seem to give a crap about what you're wearing as long as you're within the general perimeters of what people normally see at dinner. Even on formal night... or what used to be formal night.

 

I hope your husband indulges you for one night and you indulge him for more smart casual the rest of the trip. You can rent a tux on the ship. It's not cheap, but it's not like you have to drag it around with you from wherever you're coming from.

 

My wife gets me to dress up on occasion, too. It makes her happy. Although, as a general rule, we just dress reasonably nice every night and go with that. She buys a couple new dresses and I wear khakis & a nice shirt (I sound hideous, but then again, I'm a dude! - thanks insurance commercial) and I've never knowingly got any stink eyes.

 

 

Well he hasn't seen me in a few months and we will be celebrating our anniversary and my birthday, so he may throw me a bone! Haha!

 

I have some cute sundresses that he happens to love and I'm always up for a shopping trip :) He owns some nicer clothes for when he needs them which isn't often since he wears a uniform all the time :) He probably won't argue about throwing on some dress pants and a nice shirt :)

[CheerMom15]

The thing I learned once I went on a cruise for the first time was that people, real life people on the ship with you, generally don't seem to give a crap about what you're wearing as long as you're within the general perimeters of what people normally see at dinner. Even on formal night... or what used to be formal night.

 

I hope your husband indulges you for one night and you indulge him for more smart casual the rest of the trip. You can rent a tux on the ship. It's not cheap, but it's not like you have to drag it around with you from wherever you're coming from.

 

My wife gets me to dress up on occasion, too. It makes her happy. Although, as a general rule, we just dress reasonably nice every night and go with that. She buys a couple new dresses and I wear khakis & a nice shirt (I sound hideous, but then again, I'm a dude! - thanks insurance commercial) and I've never knowingly got any stink eyes.

 

I have a son named Jake and when he was about 3-4 some kid said "like Jake from State Farm... Do you have khakis?"... My son came running to me and crying cause he thought the kid was being mean! lol

[Lanzalady]

:confused: Not really...

Well you all sure talk about them endlessly!!;)

[CheerMom15]

Well you all sure talk about them endlessly!!;)

 

I wouldn't say tipping is an obsession.. but it is an expectation because we (as in our labor laws) IMO don't pay our servers and such the proper wages. I would rather see them get paid a normal wage and do away with tipping because it is so subjective. I have personally witnessed customers stiffing servers for things they had no control over such as "I don't like my meal"... The server offered them something else and got yelled at by the customer. So it wasn't the servers fault and they did their job and still got screwed at the end of the day...

[Lanzalady]

I wouldn't say tipping is an obsession.. but it is an expectation because we (as in our labor laws) IMO don't pay our servers and such the proper wages. I would rather see them get paid a normal wage and do away with tipping because it is so subjective. I have personally witnessed customers stiffing servers for things they had no control over such as "I don't like my meal"... The server offered them something else and got yelled at by the customer. So it wasn't the servers fault and they did their job and still got screwed at the end of the day...

Sounds like they need to sort out the labour laws and start paying their workers a fair wage for a fair day's work. Don't they have unions? I believe that company paid holidays are also a lot less than workers in Europe get.

[CheerMom15]

Sounds like they need to sort out the labour laws and start paying their workers a fair wage for a fair day's work. Don't they have unions? I believe that company paid holidays are also a lot less than workers in Europe get.

 

Not sure that sorting out labor laws would do any good. There are the over all laws that everyone has to follow and then there are the ones that are dependent on the type of work you do. Some places have unions and others do not, but I haven't met anyone that is a server and part of a union for that job. My mom is a nurse and is required to be part of her local nursing union (and pays dues) but isn't protected by that union because she works per-diem instead of full time.

 

In the US, the tips are "part of your wages" if you work in a tipping industry. They are also taxed by the government.

 

Honestly I think there are a lot of issues with how we treat our workers. The biggest issue being that we have crappy vacation time policies and really crappy maternity leave benefits...

[2CatsInFlorida]

If after reading that an 18% gratuity is included in the drink price, you still feel the need to tip more, then you have a big "S" on your forehead.

[Luv my furbaby]

When I started cruising in the 90's, I always dressed up for formal nights. I no longer do that. If going to the MDR, I always dress in nice pants/capris and top. Honestly, after a hot day in the sun the last thing I want to do is to get dressed up. Please don't bash, I dress very presentable.

Now, what I gave a problem with (and yes, this happened on a cruise I was on) is people dressing up, gowns, diamonds etc and they pick their teeth at the table and SMELL and sometimes were drunk. The husband floated the cork from his wine bottle was was yelling "ahoy Maties". So I would gladly have anyone not dressed up but presentable any day!

Some people you can dress them up but they are still slobs!!!

[Cruzing Mike]

I am not the part of any problem. Nor is it my problem if others tip or not. I will continue and be happy with my current practice when it comes to tipping. I will not be forced and I will not tip for poor service.

 

Stop talking sense! You won't tip for bad service? :eek: What's wrong with you? LOL!!!! :D

 

I'm with ya. I don't mess with the auto tip but if service sucks I will say something.

[awhcruiser]

Hope you cruise alone...

I am not the part of any problem. Nor is it my problem if others tip or not. I will continue and be happy with my current practice when it comes to tipping. I will not be forced and I will not tip for poor service.

[Fyruf]

Formal is on the way out,NCL is changing that,I for one am glad.

[payankee]

Crazed geriatric hillbilly here from Pennsylvania. Relax, look nice to the best of your ability and comfort zone and live generously.

[KuffMUp]

Sounds like they need to sort out the labour laws and start paying their workers a fair wage for a fair day's work. Don't they have unions? I believe that company paid holidays are also a lot less than workers in Europe get.

 

I hear that those from Europe get great holidays compared to US. I have been with my company for 26 years and get 2 days of vacation per month. My DH on the other hand gets a whopping 2 weeks total. I don't think unions are very helpful anymore. While a long time ago, they helped get good wages and made work more safe, now a days the union doesn't get you squat except what you previously had. No, I am not in a union yet DH is. I serve directly for the pleasure of my boss and can be let go for any reason he wants.

 

I guess about tipping, we were raised in that culture. So I guess it doesn't seem to matter much for me. I tip for good service. On the ship, I also tip bartenders above and beyond the tip automatically added. The automatic tip goes into a pool for all bartenders where the tip I add goes directly to the bartender. One cocktail waitress was particularly good to us on one cruise. We were surprised to see her on another ship a year and a half later and she remembered us! She got good tips for that! Imagine all those people that had passed in front of her to remember us. Maybe we tipped her too much the first time? :p

[peteukmcr]

I hear that those from Europe get great holidays compared to US. I have been with my company for 26 years and get 2 days of vacation per month.

Well that works out to 24 days per year yes? More than me in the UK, where I get 23.

[Lanzalady]

Well that works out to 24 days per year yes? More than me in the UK, where I get 23.

Do the 24 days include national holidays or are they additional? In Spain, the average hotel employee on a fixed contract gets one month's annual holiday, which includes the weekends during that month. Additionally they get the 14 days that are national and local fiesta days, which include Christmas, New Year, Easter and local saints' days etc. But these workers also may be rostered on on any of these days and may have to take a day off in lieu at some other time. My husband has had to work every Christmas day for the past 9 years in his current job but knows that he's lucky to still have full-time work at 62 years old. I'm self-employed and don't get any paid holidays! If I want to take a break then I need to know that I have sufficient commissions due to cover the trip and also the period of time that I am away not earning anything.