(Not quite live) from Iona - G318 - Fjords - 10th June

[TigerB]

1 hour ago, Megabear2 said:

MPW was onboard on 3 June cruise.  When we sailed with him on Britannia he had signed piles of menus and on arrival in the dining room we were presented with one each.  It could be they had leftovers so handed them out

 

That'll be it

[Gettingwarmer]

36 minutes ago, TigerB said:

 

Was it though the same as we had on Arvia, where they have a dedicated wine waiter?

In the MDRs these days your waiter takes your order and it is promptly delivered by someone else (bar staff?), often within five minutes or less. At Chef's Table on Arvia in April, there was just one dedicated wine waiter covering an area that had three different waiting staff pairs.

Yes there were wine waiters, they just couldn’t see us. We had to keep asking the waiters to send one over. 

[TigerB]

1 hour ago, Bin man said:

Last year we were on Iona and actually saw him signing piles of menus in one of the restaurants early one morning as we made our way for breakfast to the mdr 

 

Did you have to buy his latest book to get one?😏

[TigerB]

There has just been another tannoy announcement; the coaches that didn't arrive this morning will now not come at all. So, they have cancelled two more trips for this afternoon. 

Oh dear, yet more chuntering cruisers!

 

🎵🎶🎤 I predict a riot... 😂

[Megabear2]

5 minutes ago, TigerB said:

 

Did you have to buy his latest book to get one?😏

On our cruise he kept telling us he wanted to open a restaurant in Salisbury as it was near his home, seemed strange as he kept proudly telling us about his Northern roots.  Wind on a year he opened the restaurant January 2020 ... it closed February this year. Probably needs to sell a lot of books at the moment!

[Interestedcruisefan]

25 minutes ago, TigerB said:

We are currently parked up in Olden, with tha starboard side against the pier. I can't see how many folk are rushing off as we are port side.

There is a lot of cloud cover, although none looking like rain clouds (I'm no meteorologist but I get by 😏), and my phone shows the temperature as 12°C

When the DC came on the tannoy, he said the cloud cover was high, so would not affect the view at the top of the skylight, and that the sun will break through this afternoon.

 

We were booked on a trip, Accessible Beauty Of Nordfjord, but was forced the other day to cancel that, and the ones for Stavanger and Haugesund; I will explain in a later post why that was.

 

As it turns out, even if we hadn't cancelled our trip, we still wouldn't be going. A recent tannoy announcement explained that three coaches enroute from Bergen didn't make it, so they have cancelled the trip we should have been on, and another.  I wouldn't like to think what the queue is like now at the shore excursions and reception desks, lots of chuntering customers demanding a full refund for their cruise, no doubt.

The Hull word of the day: chuntering = complaining/moaning.

 

Our lass is wiped out after the early start, so she is having a snooze. I've just caught Venus to tell her not to clean the cabin, and I've just swapped out a few things, and given her our rubbish and recycling.

I'll likely get off very soon to check the lay of the land, and the suitability for a wheelchair. She doesn't fancy the sky lift, and I don't want to leave her for a long time, so that will be one for the future. If we have time, I may check out ICF's DJ pal who drives the land choo-choo. Mind you, he may be busy with three coach loads of disappointed cruisers.

The DJ train  guy was alesund I think! Lol

 

Just normal run of the mill road train drivers at this one

 

 

 

 

[TigerB]

Here are a few photos from this morning; they're only crappy ones taken on my phone though. I was going to take the SD card out of my camera and put it my tablet, but I really couldn't be arsed. Sorry, folks!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[TigerB]

1 hour ago, Interestedcruisefan said:

The DJ train  guy was alesund I think! Lol

 

Just normal run of the mill road train drivers at this one

 

 

 

 

 

Ah, right. Well, if he's not a celebrity then I won't bother!🙄

[TigerB]

What's that you say? You want some more food pics? Okay then!

 

Dinner - Monday...

 

Our venue on this day was Coral.

 

Before I post the food pics, I must admit to a faux pas that, if it had happened on a formal night, when loads of folk are trying to get into the MDR, could have easily caused a riot. All down to a thick northern monkey not taking the time to read written instructions. 
In mitigation I offer this piece of factual evidence:
When we were on Arvia, upon entering the MDR (we used Zenith) there was a sign with two simple instructions (I am paraphrasing here): Booked to the left, walk-ins to the right. So, on that ship, whenever we approached Zenith I would tear down the inside straight (like that character Simon Day played on the Fast Show, with his family running behind him), with our lass with her wheelchair at full pelt, trying to keep up. All the time I would feel smug that I had booked, while those on the right queued down the corridor.
Well, on the approach to Coral last night was this notice...

 

Of course, I didn't read that; I didn't even give it a second glance. Why would I? I'm a bloke; I don't read instructions, and I don't necessarily pay attention to fixed road signs on a route that I travel every day. Why would I? They don't change, do they?
So, as I walk straight to the desk on the left side, because nobody is queuing that side, passing the poor folk on the right who will likely have to wait a while, and I look around to find that our lass isn't there, and folk from the queue on the right are looking daggers at me, my initial thoughts are that she had inadvertently turned her chair off as she sometimes does, and the folk in the 'walk-in' queue don't understand the rules. 
I look further down that queue to see the boss behind the ten or so folk in it; of course, she is also looking daggers at me, and beckoning me back to her; "B, come here, what are you doing"? 
"Come on babe, that's the walk-in queue, we've booked".
She reluctantly wheels towards me, head down as the folk look daggers at her, and I'm saying, "C'mon, c'mon".
We are shown to our table and, as I crouch down to lift up her footrest, I get both barrels. "What the hell are you playing at? You've just pushed past all those people and made me look like an idiot".
"What are you on about? That was the walk-in queue".
"Not according to the sign you idiot".
"No, babe! Booked on left, walk-ins on right; that's what it always is".
As I sat down I was treated with the good old 2 for 1...
daggers and the silent treatment. I was relieved when the assistant waiter came, so she could break her stare.

After our meal I went back to the corridor just so I could prove her wrong. Obviously, it still wasn't my fault. We can't be wrong, can we fellas?
"Well babe, it appears that on Iona they don't do it like they do on Arvia; what the hell is all that about"?
And the moral of the story fellas, is...
Always read stuff and never disobey the missus!🙄

 

So, the food...

 

Me...

 

The boss...

 

Me...

I thought the tuna steaks would be small, so I asked for two. 🐷🐯

 

The boss...

 

Me...

...and a scoop of 8ve-cream, of course!

 

The boss had her usual cheese and biscuits.

 

There was a couple on the table next to us who looked like they wanted to engage, but perhaps thought they didn't want to get involved with the couple who arrived 'having a domestic'. I broke the ice when the waiter put down my plate, and I looked at his plate containing two beef steaks, and said, "Snap".

It turns out they were first time cruisers; he was astonished when the waiter had asked him if he wanted one or two steaks. I polished off my tuna steaks with aplomb; he was struggling and appeared to be starting with the meat sweats. I joked that if he didn't finish he wouldn't get his free pudding and his balloon.

Afterwards, we headed back to the cabin as our lass was tired and feeling a bit unwell.  I think it was more a case of she didn't want to be seen in public with me!

 

 

[purplesea]

MPW is on our Britannia cruise in September so will look to see is he is batch signing menus!

[Selbourne]

6 hours ago, TigerB said:

 

After reading this post, I have just had a good look around the cabin. There is not one notice or sticker about smoking and vaping, and nothing in any of the reading material, including the below, which is all about flogging stuff...

Daft isn’t it. Aside from the thoughtlessness and inconvenience to others, you’d think that the fire risk from a discarded cigarette would be sufficient to warrant at least a small notice above the balcony door handle? I guess some first timers may be unaware of the strict no smoking on balconies rule?

[TigerB]

1 hour ago, Selbourne said:

Daft isn’t it. Aside from the thoughtlessness and inconvenience to others, you’d think that the fire risk from a discarded cigarette would be sufficient to warrant at least a small notice above the balcony door handle? I guess some first timers may be unaware of the strict no smoking on balconies rule?

 

Yes, I totally agree. You have the signs in hotels rooms, but the risks are much higher on a cruise ship.

[TigerB]

We are just sat on our balcony, looking out towards the fjord and enjoying the view and the tranquility

...the quiet occasionally punctuated by a yawping bloke in the spa below us.

 

We spent several hours ashore from just before midday. We had a bimble to where the Olden Fjordhotel is, and when I showed our lass the summit of where the skylight goes to, and said how high it was, she declared, "Nope, I am not going on that"!

A solo trip for next time, then!

 

We returned to the quayside to take the land train up to and around Lake Floen.

It cost Nkr600/£22 each, and lasted 70 minutes, with two 10 minute photo stops and a quick stop at the shops near the Co-op market.

There were loads of trains, I lost count at seven, and, although not all of them had the same livery, I think they were all run by the same company, Olden Sightseeing.

I counted four that were wheelchair accessible. One of those consisted of a couple of wide carriages pulled by a pickup van that was disguised as a choo-choo. Nah, wasn't doing it for me. We waited a few minutes for the next one to come in; this one...

That is just what I imagine a land train to look like.

 

On our carriage was a family of twelve with roots in Guyana. They had taken this cruise, with five of them flying in from the US, to celebrate the matriarch's 98th birthday. I tell you what, she was as fit as a fiddle and still had all her faculties.  What a lovely family.

I asked her daughter, who is a regular cruiser, how they got on with dining. She said that they booked two tables of six in their preferred MDR for the entire cruise. She then spoke with the restaurant host, and they have been able to eat every night at two six-seaters that had were next to each other.

 

Unlike the gullible ICF, I worked out early on that the commentary was pre-recorded.

 

At the end of the tour, I spoke briefly with our driver. He is 71 years of age, although he looked nearer my age, 55. After the summer season has ended he starts chopping wood for his cabin high up in the mountain. Now I have Monty Python's Lumberjack song as an earworm!🙄

Anyway, I asked our driver if he knew ICF. He promptly ran away from me and jumped into the fjord.😂

Sorry ICF, I'm only joking, fella.... no, he jumped in the path of the next land train.🫢

[TigerB]

Accessible Excursions In Norway...

 

I have learned something new on this cruise, and it may surprise several of you that may already have paid for, or intend to pay for accessible excursions in Norway or another location.

 

We booked three accessible excursions for this trip, one in each of Stavanger, Olden, and Haugesund. 

)
The policy is always that you pay just for the disabled guest and, if they require an essential carer, then that person goes free. That is usually the industry standard for most entertainment venues in the UK, and rightly so, as the carer takes responsibility for the disabled person.
With the above in mind, when you book an accessible excursion ahead of the cruise, you don't select both guests, if there are two of you in your cabin; if you do so you end up paying twice. You select the disabled guest and pay; when you get onboard there will be two tickets, one for the disabled guest and the other for the essential carer.  I have a note on my calendar entry for one of the excursions on this cruise, which I booked when it first came out, with confirmation from a customer advisor at P&O of that exact procedure.

Well, apparently in Norway and one other location, they have a different policy.

In our cabin we had just one ticket for each of the three excursions we had booked, but only in my wife's name.  We then received a phone call from a chap in Shore Excursions, I couldn't make out what he was saying, but the gist of it was that he was calling all guests who had booked accessible excursions to inform them that they had to buy additional tickets for the second person. I told him we would visit the desk.

When we later went to the Shore Excursions desk, we spoke to a woman who failed to explain it properly, but it appeared that we would be refunded for the one ticket bought for each excursion, and would then have to buy two new tickets, which would be charged to our OBC. I told her it didn't make sense; the gaffer, overhearing the conversation, and sensing my frustration, took us to one side.

 

This is how he explained it:
Normally, accessible excursions are more expensive because they use small adapted vehicles and have a personal guide; which increases the cost to P&O. He said that is why they do not charge for the essential carer. He went on to say that in Norway it works differently. They use full size coaches with wheelchair ramps or lifts, so you are on a trip with able-bodied guests. For that reason, everyone pays the same price, disabled or not. He said that only happens in Norway and at one other port, Vigo.

So, we had three choices:
Option 1 - Get a refund for the tickets we had bought, and forego the trips.
Option 2 - get a refund of £180 for the tickets we had bought, and buy two each for each of the three excursions, with the charge of £400 being made to our ship's account.
Option 3 - my wife takes the trips alone. Not happening!

 

I explained that we had already benefitted from the Peninsular discount so, if we received a refund and then had the new tickets charged to our OBC, we would lose out. I suggested that, if we decided to go ahead with the trips, why couldn't we keep the already purchased tickets, benefitting from the Peninsular discount, and just buy the extra ticket on our OBC?  No, that was obviously in the 'too hard to do' category; it had to be a refund and a pair of new tickets purchased.
We cancelled!

So folks, be aware of the above if you are cruising to Norway, and have only paid for the disabled guest, and are expecting a complimentary ticket for the essential carer.

For us, our plans changed. We just had a bimble in Stavanger. In den today we had a bimble before taking a trip on the land choo-choo.  We haven't yet made firm decisions for the other ports. 

[Peanut006]

Interesting about the accessible excursions. Next year on Arvia TA I wanted to book the Ariel Tram ride in St Lucia. According to their own website wheelchair users can be accommodated but no mention of this on the P & O website. Not sure whether to book one/two tickets with P & O or book direct…. I can see I am going to have to ring P & O and clarify

 

Michelle

[TigerB]

1 hour ago, Peanut006 said:

Interesting about the accessible excursions. Next year on Arvia TA I wanted to book the Ariel Tram ride in St Lucia. According to their own website wheelchair users can be accommodated but no mention of this on the P & O website. Not sure whether to book one/two tickets with P & O or book direct…. I can see I am going to have to ring P & O and clarify

 

Michelle

 

It should be buy one and get a carer's one free for that trip. It was for us in Barbados in January.

According to the Shore Excursions gaffer, the policy we encountered is only for Norway and Vigo

[terrierjohn]

1 minute ago, TigerB said:

 

It should be buy one and get a carer's one free for that trip. It was for us in Barbados in January.

According to the Shore Excursions gaffer, the policy we encountered is only for Norway and Vigo

It is some time since we last had a P&O accessible excursion maybe 2015, but we have never had a free carer place, and the same applied to all the accessible excursions we had on Celebrity. Is this a recent phenomenon?

[Peanut006]

15 minutes ago, TigerB said:

 

It should be buy one and get a carer's one free for that trip. It was for us in Barbados in January.

According to the Shore Excursions gaffer, the policy we encountered is only for Norway and Vigo

I will investigate!!! 
 

Michelle

[Peanut006]

11 minutes ago, terrierjohn said:

It is some time since we last had a P&O accessible excursion maybe 2015, but we have never had a free carer place, and the same applied to all the accessible excursions we had on Celebrity. Is this a recent phenomenon?

We have never had a free carers place either. I definitely couldn’t go by myself, need hubby to help me

 

Michelle

[Son of Anarchy]

11 hours ago, TigerB said:

As I sit here, writing this and enjoying the scenery from our balcony, my nostrils are offended by cigarette fumes.  I am unable to identify the offender.😡

Such a shame that some selfish muppet behaves like that, especially when you're trying to soak up the wonderful scenery.

 

This happened to us on Arvia In April.  Even after reporting the offender three times (I was able to identify their cabin) they simply lit up again yet again after our final port of call.  Blatant disregard.

 

I lodged a complaint, primarily around P & O's inability/unwillingness to enforce this important rule.

 

After four weeks, we received a comprehensive explanation, the bottom line being unless they grab hold of the offender with a Cohiba sticking out of their mouth, they can't/won't act.

 

They did however give us some FCC, which we have been able to put towards an existing booking.  I would have been happy with some OBC for our next cruise rather than FCC for a future booking.  The ability to apply the FCC to an existing booking was a pleasant surprise.  I should also add that whilst on board, the Deck Manager did speak with me in our cabin, and arranged for a complimentary bottle of (house) wine.  How he thought that was going to stop the selfish muppet from smoking I don't know, but we drank it anyway.

 

Reporting on board and following up with Carnival House is the only way to let P & O know that it continues to be unacceptable and they need robust measures to deal with it.

 

To end on a positive note:

 

Thanks Tiger for a great blog!

[TigerB]

3 hours ago, terrierjohn said:

It is some time since we last had a P&O accessible excursion maybe 2015, but we have never had a free carer place, and the same applied to all the accessible excursions we had on Celebrity. Is this a recent phenomenon?

 

3 hours ago, Peanut006 said:

We have never had a free carers place either. I definitely couldn’t go by myself, need hubby to help me

 

Michelle

 

We booked three trips for last September in the Baltic and it was on the basis of me going for free as the carer; that was confirmed because I booked them over the phone. We ended up not doing them because they were in St Petersburg, and it was pulled from the itinerary.

In January we did a trip in Barbados, having booked it almost a year in advance. Again, I went free as the carer; we did complete that trip.

 

As I have already written, the Shore Excursions manager the other day did confirm that carers go free on the bespoke accessible trips, but he gave me the impression that was only because they were more expensive. 

It is absolutely right that a carer should go free on such trips because they are taking responsibility for the disabled traveller. Also, such trips are sometimes as much as twice the price of the regular trips, so although some able bodied folk may save they (the carer) are getting something for nothing (and yes, I heard that before), they are actually not.

[TigerB]

2 hours ago, Son of Anarchy said:

Such a shame that some selfish muppet behaves like that, especially when you're trying to soak up the wonderful scenery.

 

This happened to us on Arvia In April.  Even after reporting the offender three times (I was able to identify their cabin) they simply lit up again yet again after our final port of call.  Blatant disregard.

 

I lodged a complaint, primarily around P & O's inability/unwillingness to enforce this important rule.

 

After four weeks, we received a comprehensive explanation, the bottom line being unless they grab hold of the offender with a Cohiba sticking out of their mouth, they can't/won't act.

 

They did however give us some FCC, which we have been able to put towards an existing booking.  I would have been happy with some OBC for our next cruise rather than FCC for a future booking.  The ability to apply the FCC to an existing booking was a pleasant surprise.  I should also add that whilst on board, the Deck Manager did speak with me in our cabin, and arranged for a complimentary bottle of (house) wine.  How he thought that was going to stop the selfish muppet from smoking I don't know, but we drank it anyway.

 

Reporting on board and following up with Carnival House is the only way to let P & O know that it continues to be unacceptable and they need robust measures to deal with it.

 

To end on a positive note:

 

Thanks Tiger for a great blog!

 

You are absolutely right about the lack of proper enforcement by the crew and the cruise line in general. As I replied to Selbourne earlier, there is nothing in the cabin about not smoking and the penalties for breaches. That is very poor!

 

Rest assured, I will be up at sparrow's fart again tomorrow with my long lens camera. If I spot the culprit and have the opportunity to take a photo, I certainly will do so. They will also get a gob full, and I will report them.

Like you, I'm not bothered about a bottle of wine; proper enforcement and punishment will do me.

[TigerB]

And now, tonight's grub....

 

It was the turn of Opal tonight (where Olive Grove is on Arvia) and I have to say, it is the best of the bunch so far.

The lighting was subdued but not too dark, we could hear each other, and the music, the service from our waiters was the best so far, and best of all, we were sat at a proper table for two, a little round one that wasn't three inches from the next one.

 

Selbourne, this would be ideal for your scenario of getting a six seater for all the nights you are in the MDR. There were two near us, and right next to the windows on the starboard side.

 

We mostly ate...

 

Me...

 

The missus...

 

Me...

 

The missus...

 

Me...

...plus the obligatory ice-cream, rum and raisin tonight

 

The missus...

A departure from her usual cheese and biscuits.  I would have had that also, probably on addition to the other two I had, but it wasn't vegetarian.

 

Although the service and ambience was spot on, the menu didn't set my taste buds on fire.

Tonight is the first time we have ever sent anything back on a cruise. Our lass asked for her steak medium, she always does. When it arrived, it still had a pulse. The replacement wasn't much better, but she said it was passable; she didn't want to make any fuss.

 

Tomorrow night .....

..... Epicurean and the Norwegian tasting menu. I don't know if I've mentioned it before(🙄), but we are really looking forward to that.  I really do hope it's not one of those 'never meet your idol' deals.

 

We're back now in the cabin. I'm on the balcony taking photos, but it's a bit chilly for her. 

We're expected to hit the open sea in less than an hour, so I will bob along to the 710 Club for the 22:30 set.

[CarlaMarie]

38 minutes ago, TigerB said:

 

You are absolutely right about the lack of proper enforcement by the crew and the cruise line in general. As I replied to Selbourne earlier, there is nothing in the cabin about not smoking and the penalties for breaches. That is very poor!

 

Rest assured, I will be up at sparrow's fart again tomorrow with my long lens camera. If I spot the culprit and have the opportunity to take a photo, I certainly will do so. They will also get a gob full, and I will report them.

Like you, I'm not bothered about a bottle of wine; proper enforcement and punishment will do me.

 

I've mentioned on here a few weeks ago how passengers were smoking on a balcony on Britannia in May. Parents reported it, and nothing happened. Same with passengers feeding birds from a balcony - when reported the receptionist said they would have to check if that was allowed or not! 

 

If they ignore these reports and don't enforce rules then it will just continue. It is selfish behaviour. 

[TigerB]

Well folks, I'm going to lose my signal soon and I need to get dolled up for the 710 Club.... flying solo tonight! 🤗

 

So, for my last post of the evening, here as promised is the pineapple story.

I'm hoping all the kids are in bed!🫢

 

 

Late on Saturday night we were heading away from the lifts to our nearby cabin. There was a bloke in a wheelchair and his missus. He asked me if I was game for a laugh. He had his phone in his hand and, pointing in the general direction of our cabin, he said that he had put an upsidedown pineapple on his mum's cabin door, and asked if I would knock on it while he filmed it. I asked him if she did indeed swing; after all, I risked being dragged into the cabin of a potentially rampant middle-aged woman. He said she didn't, but she would see the funny side. "Listen mate, it's alright if you don't want to do it", he said.

I'm not usually one to back off from a challenge.
"Which cabin, fella"?
He pointed to the one next door but one to ours.
I gave the door a good knock. It was opened by a lady who looked to be in her sixties. Behind her was a similarly aged lady, who was partially undressed, and hiding behind the open bathroom door.
"Hiya love, is this where the party is"?
"No, there's no party here; I think you've got the wrong cabin".
"Are you sure? I like to party and it looks like you like to party".
"No, sorry, you've got the wrong cabin".
"Well, why is that on your door then?"
She looked and removed the offending magnet. "The t#@t. Has my son put you up to this"?
She looked down the corridor to see her lad almost falling out of his chair, he was laughing that hard. 
"He's always doing stuff like this", she said, seeing the funny side, and although not laughing, she was now smiling; well, I think it was a smile. The half-undressed lady was practically wetting herself.
"Sorry love, your lad forced me to do it. What's his name"?
"Phil. We call him Fat Phil".
"Hey, Fat Phil, your mum says you're a t#@t". That made her laugh.

The bloke was made up; he couldn't believe I would do it.

 

 

We saw them all in Olden today and they made their way up to us. I asked him if he was still black and blue from the beating his mother should have given him.

I apologised to his mother for giving her a fright, and then asked why she didn't invite me in.

"I was full up".

I wasn't sure how to react to that.🫢

I said to her, "I may come knocking tonight, once our lass is asleep".