Without kids... or without kids... which is best...?

[ShedQueen77]

We simply enjoy being together as family and having a family vacation. Believe it or not, we enjoy her and love that she has as much fun on vacation as we do.

 

I don't want anyone to get me wrong. I love my kids dearly and I love spending time with them!! I'm always happy when they are along with us on our vacations! :) I am also happy when they aren't with us, if that makes sense. Either way is OK with me. I realized that it might not have sounded that way in my previous post. All of my kids love going to the games and rooting for the Cubbies (even at age 3, my daughter can belt "Take Me Out To The Ball Game" like a little mini Aretha! lol) and we enjoy riding the rides at the parks together. It's a lot of fun to see those experiences through your children's eyes. Makes you feel young again! :D

 

I'm not a shrew mother, I promise!

[suziehmkr]

We have cruised 3 times without children, once with our youngest and she will be coming with us on our Christmas cruise. We enjoy it both ways. One is not better than the other, just different.

 

We do things on our couple cruises that we would NEVER do when she is with us (i.e. - drink a little too much moonshine tequila in Mexico, stay out dancing until 2am on the ship, etc.) While we enjoy cruising with her on a family vacation, we also enjoy cruising without having to worry schedules & curfews.

 

Both options are wonderful, but they are just different experiences. We are repeating the exact same cruise as last year - first time, no children and second time with child. I guarantee they will be completely different even though they are on the same ship with the same itinerary.

 

Keep in mind -we also take several weekend vacations with her... and she just went to Costa Rica without US! She didn't have any problems rubbing that in our faces. :)

 

It was quite easy to make the decision on the Pre-Inaugural for next week... no children will be on the ship AT ALL! :)

[jessemon]

Who's married to a spouse that can't let go of their kids for a week to go on a cruise...?

 

What have you tried to rectify this... so that you can have 7 whole days of quality time with your spouse...?

 

Is it especially bothersome when the kids are adults... and they still won't let go...?

Has your wife/spouse read this thread you started yet...?????? "YIKES":eek:

Let her see it and you can go alone.....she'll keep the house....and the bank accounts........LOL...:D :p ;)

[Quilting_Cruiser]

I'm not a shrew mother, I promise!

 

 

I'm sure you're not!! Please don't think that we believe parents who choose to take a vacation without their children are "bad parents!" We don't! At the same time, it doesn't mean we're dysfunctionally attached to our DD (nor facilitating an attachment disorder in her!) just because we take her on vacation with us! Can you tell I have a master's in counseling?!?;)

 

It's a lot of fun to see those experiences through your children's eyes. Makes you feel young again!

 

I feel the same way! I didn't have DD (who is now 11) until I was 36, so at 48 it's great to have an 11 year old around to remind me that I'm not really that old!!

 

Jayne

 

:)

[ShedQueen77]

I'm sure you're not!! Please don't think that we believe parents who choose to take a vacation without their children are "bad parents!" We don't! At the same time, it doesn't mean we're dysfunctionally attached to our DD (nor facilitating an attachment disorder in her!) just because we take her on vacation with us! Can you tell I have a master's in counseling?!?;)

 

 

 

I feel the same way! I didn't have DD (who is now 11) until I was 36, so at 48 it's great to have an 11 year old around to remind me that I'm not really that old!!

 

Jayne

 

:)

 

Actually, I could tell...just a little bit! I'm wrapping up a General Psychology class in college and those words are glaringly familiar! :) lol I don't think there is anything unhealthy or wrong with taking your kiddos on vacation. It's all in what works for that particular family. All kids and all adults have different needs.

 

I think someone might have said this already, but if you have to have time away from your kids for the sole reason of keeping your marriage alive and smokin', your marriage is more likely the problem...not your choice of vacation plans. When the kids were way younger, our "vacations" were poker games at the kitchen table on Saturday nights after the kids' bedtime or getting a sitter for a few hours to go to a movie that didn't feature animated dancing animals! lol We had set times every week, just not 7 days at a crack. We still had that "connection" time, but at home vs. in a distant location.

 

I've never done a full 7 days away from my kids yet. I'm going to have to see how it goes. I know it'll be good for them AND for us too, if not just for a change! :)

[VentureMan_2000]

Has your wife/spouse read this thread you started yet...?????? "YIKES":eek:

 

Thank you for asking...

 

 

Yes... she is right over my shoulder when I write this.

 

She is the total kid Mom... to the point whre we seem to have nothing less than 8 kidds at our house any fiven day... even though we only have three ourselves.

 

But... I suspect there are a lot of people that can not give up their kids for a week, for fear they might wilt or something.

 

Just trying to hear and understand how other's deal with this.

 

Anyone willing to admit they they are fully in charge and walk all over their spouses in order to make sure their kids go, or don't go, on vacations with them... specifically on a cruise...?

[jessemon]

Thank you for asking...

 

 

Yes... she is right over my shoulder when I write this.

 

She is the total kid Mom... to the point whre we seem to have nothing less than 8 kidds at our house any fiven day... even though we only have three ourselves.

 

But... I suspect there are a lot of people that can not give up their kids for a week, for fear they might wilt or something.

 

Just trying to hear and understand how other's deal with this.

 

Anyone willing to admit they they are fully in charge and walk all over their spouses in order to make sure their kids go, or don't go, on vacations with them... specifically on a cruise...?

Glad to here that....

One day when the kids are grown and out on their own...I guess you can go without them....

Then again...there's always the Grand kids......;)

[vjmatty]

I thoiught this is why we take multiple cruises, so you can do one each year with the kids and like 4 of them without ;)

[Catnip]

No kids. Three dogs and they will be staying with grandma.

 

:D :D :D

[Longsx3]

We only have one DD(10) and neither DH or I see any reason not to take her with us on vacation. DD has traveled the world with us and enjoys it every bit as much as we do, why wouldn't we take her? DH and I have plenty of time together and will have many more years together, however in 8 or so years DD will be spread her wings and that will be the time for vacation with out her.

[Drew's Wife]

Have a grown son and two grandchildren that are loved dearly, but the rule is we never travel with family or friends! Just too complicated. Our vacations are time alone just for the two of us. Also another rule, of our home, NO POP INS!!:D

[HockeyMom44]

A few yrs ago we took the ALL the kids ( all 4 of them) on our 25th anniversary cruise( for a week). We had THE best time. It was the best family vacation ever. WE still talk and joke about it.

A couple of months later we took a 5 nite just the two of us! While it was romantic,relaxing, and very quiet. I found myself talking about the kids all the time.

I think its a 50/50 thing. All but 1 of our kids are over 21.Our youngest is 7. We have a blast with them.

We sail in 28 days, this time we're takin 50 of our closest friends and family(mostly family) on a 4 day for our DD's wedding!:D

[iamgolden]

Ventureman, this sounds more like some type of power struggle btw you and the Mrs. to me. You guys need to sit down and figure out what's really going on here. If your kids are "adults" I don't see the problem with letting them sit one out so you can have some time alone..I feel it benefits the whole family if mom and dad can have some uninterupted alone time to totaly reconnect and work on their relationship. This is JMO..my kids are 11 and 12 and I have left them with their loving grandparents at least one week a year since they were born to be alone with my husband for a week's vacation, be it a cruise or land based. Going on 19 years happily married. Good luck on whatever you two decide! PS, we take at least one other vaca a year with the whole family..a nice balance.

[truecruiser]

how much do you charge, venture?;) :D

[pholter]

I'm guilty!! I won't let go of my 4 kids to even do an overnight right now- well, for the past year or so. I have 2 geriatric pets and 2 teenage pets and the geriatric ones require all sorts of medication and attention. I can't leave them with a pet sitter as they all get way too depressed and don't eat when I leave. I can't risk the possibility that my 2 older ones would have a problem either. None of them have ever been boarded and can't do that at this point in their lives.

 

Now, human kids are another thing :) I'd leave them in a second if I had any! Especially if there were relatives available to watch them.... If they were adults, then I'd consider booking them on a separate ship and tell my spouse they were coming with us to get some alone time.... Sneaky, but it might work!

[basketsiam]

Have a grown son and two grandchildren that are loved dearly' date=' [b']but the rule is we never travel with family or friends! Just too complicated.[/b] Our vacations are time alone just for the two of us. Also another rule, of our home, NO POP INS!!:D

 

Ouch!!!! We met our very best friends while on a cruise and have cruised with them at least once each year since. At times my husband and I cruise as a couple, and at other times we take our children on the cruise vacations they have come to love. Complicated? Not at all!!! I call it a wonderful opportunity and life experience!!!!;)

[MuffyKismet]

We have 8 kids (you read that correctly, I did say 8) ages 29-17, 4 boys and 4 girls. We have gone on many family cruises and they are alot of fun but I must admit my DH and I have the best time ever when we go ALONE!! or with another couple with NO KIDS!!!! Kids at any age stil have "their moments" where you just want to strangle them! LOL So I prefer not having to deal with them at all on my vacation. When we sail with the kids I feel like I need a vacation after my vacation. When it is just me and my DH I come home very relaxed and eager to book another cruise ALONE! :) We love our kids but we also love our alone time on a cruise!

[imallset]

I feel the same way! I didn't have DD (who is now 11) until I was 36, so at 48 it's great to have an 11 year old around to remind me that I'm not really that old!!

 

Jayne

 

:)

 

I too had my kids late.....one at 34 and twins at 37. I am now 48 and just took my first cruise without them or husband! Went with two friends and may I say while we travel as a family once a year on a big trip, this will now be my annual girls trip without them:D

[CorbinCatFan]

We've cruised five times with our DD's and each cruise was wonderful. Of course, each cruise the cabin kept getting smaller and the sign and sail bill kept getting bigger.

 

Now my DW and I have booked our next cruise and the DD's can't understand why they aren't going. (Of course the oldest has booked a cruise this summer and didn't invite us.:( )

 

We enjoyed our cruises with the DD's and we're looking forward to cruise by ourselve's in the future.

[Homosassa]

We always vacationed with our DD when she was younger. Leaving her behind would have been like leaving part of our body behind (and technically, she is 50% my DH and 50% me). And yes, my DH felt the same way.

 

First vacation without her was when she was a junior in college and we missed her. She is now 23, and while she takes trips without us and we without her, we still make every effort to travel together.

[Cozzette2]

I think it is so important to have "couple" time. When our children were young and of course then we didn't have much money or as much vacation time, it was all about family vacations. We went camping and the zoo's and the coast, it was all for the kids and what they would enjoy at each age. Then, a funny thing happened, they didn't want to spend all that much time with us. Then it was all about friends, theirs, not ours. So, about high school age we had more vacation time and we split it up with a week with the kids doing something they would enjoy and a week for my DH and I . The kids are really gone in the blink of an eye and now it is back to the two of us. I think it is important to remain strong as a couple because that is what it comes down to eventually. Now that my kids are parents I love to join them and their kids on trips but DH and I still do our own thing and are closer because of it:) Kris

[hubofhockey]

For me, it all depends on the age of the kids. Mine are 9 and 7 and travel with us. We get a balcony cabin with an upper. When we want time alone, they are more than happy to go to Camp Carnival. My brother has kids 16 and 12. He gets a balcony cabin and the kids get the inside cabin accross the hall. When mine are older, I'll follow my brother's lead. Also, our oldest daughter is doing 3.5 weeks at overnight camp and son will be doing the same in two years. At that time, we'll consider a Europe cruise or just a European vacation. For now, I enjoy having the kids with us and the beauty of the cruise is that it allows time together and time apart on the same vacation. Next Spring, the kids will be eating one night with Camp Carnival while my wife and I go to Harry's. Of course, that won't be lobster or lamb chops night. :D

[Quilting_Cruiser]

 

I too had my kids late.....one at 34 and twins at 37. I am now 48 and just took my first cruise without them or husband! Went with two friends and may I say while we travel as a family once a year on a big trip, this will now be my annual girls trip without them:D

 

Now, the girlfriends' trip sounds like fun! If I could get my two closes friends on a ship I'd do it in a heartbeat! DD would be with DH (so it would be like when I was in China a couple of weeks ago without them, and i wouldn't have to worry about her) and my girls and I would just kick back and have a great time. Unfortunately, they both think I'm crazy that I love to cruise! What's wrong with them?!?

 

LOL

 

Jayne

[caribbean dreams]

:)

 

this will now be my annual girls trip without them:D

 

I wish my friends were like that. I only have one friend that would go on a girls cruise with me, some have this fantasy that cruising means you have to refinance your house or something and others can't bare to think of leaving there DH & kids for a few days:eek:

[corkpopr]

i have four and four grandkids. not on a cruise, not on a vacation unless it's camping at the beach or a lake. out of 52 weeks a year i want alone adult time.