Kid bashing

[Kineticoh20]

I am a father of two, a 10 yr old girl and a 14 yr old boy. We have been cruising with our children for the last 6 yrs. I have noticed alot of kid bashing not only on this forum but on the ships themselves. Now we have taught our children how to act in public and on every cruise we have taken,we have had fellow passengers comment on how well behaved our kids are. However, people that think they are above, better, more deserving or thinking that children should be seen and not heard is rediculous. On the Diamond in March while in the elevator with my daughter a older man was going on about the children, he said out loud that he will rebook a cruise when there are no children on board. As I left the elevator I told him I would rebook when there were no old people on board and he seemed offended.

The fact is on my most recent Diamond 15 day there were only 163 kids and you rarely felt they were on board. Sure there were times at the pool you could hear them playing. However I feel the older folks as a group are far more troublesome, I don;t mean to offend anyone but the fact is more of the older croud were rude to servers, complaining and in general thought they should be waited on hand and foot. Last year durring Easter while on the Diamond there were a record 900 kids on board and too be quite honest was a far better atmosphere on ship. The bottom line is my kids pay the same fare, gratuities and other amenities as anyone else and deserve a little respect!

[pyrogy]

I personally agree with you but not everyone will. I would even go further and say that we shouldn't constantly need to add the qualifier about the "well behaved" kids as if the ones who might be having a bad day are somehow less deserving of a little patience and understanding. The child you hear crying might be a wonderful and well behaved child who is having a bad day or may have missed a nap or whatever. Everyone should lighten up when it comes to kids. But then again, not everyone likes kids so they will never agree.

[5fathom]

We are Senior cruisers and Grandparents. To be honest we enjoy cruising with families with kids. Certainly there are those kids who get out of control (I hate it when they push all the buttons on the elevators) but for the most part they are there to have a great time just as we are. We have met adult passengers who are as bad and as rude as some youngsters are. For the most part we watch the kids and smile, thinking about when ours were young.

[sidari]

As I left the elevator I told him I would rebook when there were no old people on board and he seemed offended.

 

Great response.....:D maybe he didnt have kids of his own or he was just one of lifes "Grumpy Old men"

 

we will have 2 young Grandkids with us in November on the Ruby..hope he is not on it...:eek:

 

As you say there are some very rude and obnoxious people in the world who think they own what ever part it is they happen to be standing on.

 

I would just love to see these people try it on with our Greek friends and those who work in the Tavernas on Corfu...

[tink45]

I hear what you are saying! I have to admit though, as a mother of an almost 15 year old, that I am somewhat nervous for our next cruise. Our son has always wanted to stay with his dad and I when we cruise, but I think he is at an age now where he will want to spread his wings and hang with the teens. He has good manners and morals, and isn't too much of a follower, but there is this little nag in my head that worries that some of that may go out the window in a cruise environment where he potentially will have way more freedom than he does at home. I certainly don't want my child to be the one to tick off a fellow passenger...I would be totally mortified!! I think we will have to come up with some good ground rules and boundaries for him. Not to hijack this thread, but any tips?

[bubbadog]

those posts are'nt for you,they are for the lazy parent,or the parent that just turns them loose and say's(oh well not my problem i am on vacation),you sound like a very good parent who is responsible:));)

[junglejane]

Don't let these comments get you down. It's just inevitable when you're on a ship with 2600 people that you'll encounter a few rude ones, whether they're kid-haters, chair hogs, drunk adults, or even misbehaving kids who push all the elevator buttons. We were recently on the Golden Princess with our kids, who are 7 and 11. Yes, we heard a few anti-kid remarks (my personal gripe is people who use the Neptune & Calypso pools and then complain that there are kids there, instead of using the adult only pools). But we also heard lots of compliments and kind remarks directed at our kids, especially when they were dressed up on the formal nights. I prefer to focus on those people and ignore the others.:)

 

--Junglejane

[sidari]

I have 3 sons who are now all in their 20`s ....it can be unnerving wondering what they may be upto at 16, 15, and 13 as mine were but if they are brought up to respect people then they usually know where the line is... i wouldnt worry too much about your son he wants to enjoy his holiday too!

[flamomo]

Don, Sorry you were given such a bad impression by the elderly fellow. Most of us Seniors enjoy seeing kids having fun. As someone said, that guy must have had a permanent bad case of the grumpies.

 

We were on that cruise too (BTW, where were you - we were wanting to meet you at the CC meet & greets), and hardly knew there were children on the ship. The few we saw were quiet and well behaved. Even really young ones in the anytime dining room were great throughout meals lasting well over an hour.

 

I think many of us have read horror stories or have have seen kids that were not properly cared for by parents who were vacationing from parenting, but the vast majority of children on cruises are good kids. Occasionally there are the ones who think it's great fun to push all the buttons in the elevators, which tends to annoy adult passengers. But that's a minor annoyance, as is the occasional noisiness of kids running in the cabin corridors. But those are not everyday happenings.

 

And it's too bad that one crabby senior citizen gives the rest of us seniors a bad name.

[Guest arowe6]

When I was younger, the same would happen to me although I was blissfully unaware.

 

I later found out when I was older what some people would say. I always considered myself well-behaved (as did my parents) but who knows what other people thought. I'm now in my mid 20's and have no problem cruising with kids as long as the boundaries of the adult areas are respected and enforced.

 

There are so many different people in this world. Why spend time being rude? Life is far too short. :)

 

-Andrew

[karatemom2]

I can certainly understand how you feel. I have felt the sting too, but I've learned to just let it roll off my back. I don't think most people feel they are being anti-kid or anti-family, but honestly, if you referred to a minority group the way some refer to children on these boards you'd be accused of being a racist.

 

I think there are a number of factors at play. Cruising traditionally was very different than it is now and there are some long time cruisers who I think find the whole cruising concept at odds with the idea of a family vacation. Some people just want an adults only vacation and prefer not to be around children, even well behaved children. That doesn't anger me anymore as I figure that's their perogative. The reality, however, is that the cruise industry has figured out that families represent a lucrative business and many, many families have found that cruising offers a great family vacation experience.

 

I try not to get offended as I am a firm believer that everyone has the right to a vacation of their choosing. I also know that sometimes kids are not well behaved and some parents don't bother parenting and these are the ones that give all of us family cruisers a bad name. Fortunately, at least in my experience, this is the exception. As you note, most of the kids we have observed on our cruises are normal, well behaved young people just enjoying a good time with their families. I have seen more offensive behavior by adults than from children on cruises, but somehow the adult antics tend to get excused whereas infractions by kids are not.

 

I try not to let the hurtful comments bother me but at least on a message board it's easier. When people say things directly to my face it's harder. Like the woman who declared loudly at tea one afternoon that she refused to share a table with a child while my daughter sat next to me and nearly burst into tears. Fortunately the wait staff moved her away from our table and proceeded to seat the most wonderful older couple who loved my daughter and were charmed by her manners. They more than made up for the hurt my daughter felt and we made two new friends that day. I realized that there was no point fretting about it and just considered how fortunate we are that we have met so many wonderful people in our travels and the thoughtless ones are in the minority.

 

We have discovered that we love to cruise, our kids love to cruise and it's a great way for our family to travel and spend time together. I do parent my children and they are well behaved, not perfect mind you, but thoughtful and respectful, especially in social settings. The cruise lines want our business and we are happy to oblige!

 

We cruising families are helping to keep the cruise industry "afloat" and we don't need to apologize. Enjoy your cruises with your family and try not to let the comments of a few bother you or detract from your enjoyment. And don't judge your fellow posters here to harshly. Most are very nice folks who also love to cruise. I guess some just prefer to cruise without kids around. For me, I love kids, my own and everyone elses too so it's a joy to see families traveling together. I'm glad I can offer my children the chance to vacation in a way I never could. I'm sure when they grow up some of their best memories will revolve around our family cruises.

[bdjam]

On the Diamond in March while in the elevator with my daughter a older man was going on about the children, he said out loud that he will rebook a cruise when there are no children on board. As I left the elevator I told him I would rebook when there were no old people on board and he seemed offended.

I don't know that this is the best behavior to use to set an example for a child...

Most of the kids I've come in contact with on board ships are relatively well behaved - as their parents, its up to the adults to teach them to behave properly. It's unfortunate that the bad apples give the rest of the bunch a bad name.

[Ldyandrea]

I adore kids.....I don't have any of my own, but I'm the oldest of three siblings, and was a nanny for 4 years. Kids can really be a great deal of fun to be around. I also think that when people refer to "well-behaved" kids it doesn't necessarily stand to reason that they are seen and not heard, nor even that they act like little adults all the time. Kids can still act like kids without ruffling feathers.

 

I think perhaps some of this anti-kid rhetoric comes from the experiences we have all had where we've encountered kids who are out of control, and parents who either don't know how, or more commonly don't bother to control them properly, and I don't blame the kids at all. (I've even had friends who couldn't properly handle their own kids, and I used to dread eating out with them in a restaurant because of the scenes I knew would ensue.) Fortunately, I think these situations are in the minority, and most kids are just fine as traveling companions.

 

That being said, I don't see anything wrong with the general concept of bringing kids on a cruise. I also think that anyone would be annoyed if they were attempting to enjoy a relaxing vacation, and were surrounded by anyone (no matter what their age) who was making a nuisance of themselves, shrieking at the top of their lungs, throwing food, or just generally being difficult, rude, or unpleasant to be around. :rolleyes:

[TwinCruiserMom]

We cruised twice last year with our 13, 13, and 17 year olds. We did not encounter anyone who was anti-children and I am glad for that! I have taught my children to behave like adults in public and they are always dressed appropriately.

 

It is a shame that the horrible parents have to ruin it for everyone, but this happens all the time, not just on a cruise ship. I always feel sorry for the children of these jerks as they will never know how to behave like a respectful human being. It is really a shame that some of those parents are even allowed to reproduce :rolleyes:

 

Well behaved children are a lot more delightful than grouchy adults who find fault with everything.

[Lony]

To Karatemom2,

 

I don't want to defend the person who didn't want to sit with your child but maybe she had a previous bad experience and was (incorrectly) tarring everyone with the same brush. On my only Holland America cruise, my husband and I were seated for the week at a table for four with a woman and her young teenage daughter. The daughter was a bit of a nightmare - complained for 7 straight nights about how she hated the cruise and everything about it. I felt sorry for the mum. I was too naive to realize we could ask to be moved and so we spent two really unpleasant hours every day with this unfortunate woman and her daughter. I've never actually taken another Holland America cruise, even though it so wasn't their fault. Anyway, I'm not really defending the woman (I would never do that even with my previous experience - it's just rude), but I wouldn't take the experience personally if I could help it. After all, it was her loss she was so short-sighted.

[caribill]

Occasionally there are the ones who think it's great fun to push all the buttons in the elevators, which tends to annoy adult passengers.

 

I find on many ships that the elevators stop at every floor to pick up and discharge passengers even without kids pressing every button.

[CruisinKiki]

On our Alaska cruise this September, we had some really rough seas. One family sat in the buffet area with their young daughter throwing up -- this was right in the middle of hundreds of people who were trying to eat their breakfast. These parents should have had better manners. There were two parents with her, there was no reason they couldn't have taken turns with her in their cabin while the other family members ate. I guess my point is, whether it's children, seniors, or middle-aged folks -- you shouldn't impose yourself on others' enjoyment of their cruise. For many of us, cruising is a luxury that we save for all year. It's a shame that some people don't have manners enough not to affect others' enjoyment. Unfortunately, it does seem that many parents on cruises let their children do whatever they want without supervision. Kudos to those parents who enforce the same manners on vacation as they do at home.

[San Diego Cruizer]

My husband and I brought our 3 year old grandaughter with us on our last cruise in December. It was a particularly harrowing night on the first formal night in anytime dining. People were waiting over 1 hour to be seated, and then dinner took about 2 hours to be served. We were so worried our grandaughter would have a melt down right there at the table. Truth be told, even tho she was a bit antsy, she was far better behaved then the people (mostly elderly) screaming at the servers for the long delay. I am not senior bashing mind you, I am one myself. But bad manners, and bad behavior starts at childhood! 10 to 1 odds, the less then polite seniors were less then polite as children. I say give me the kids on the cruise anytime! We adore watching them have fun!

[gambit57]

I'm not too many years beyond being a kid. So, I don't mind them. If they're well behaved. But that goes for a person of any age. If they're well behaved, I don't mind them. I've seen misbehaving kids, but plenty of misbehaving adults as well.

[Kineticoh20]

Thank you all for your comments, at least I'm not the only one who feels this way. There are far more adults who act like children than the kids. Yet it is the kids who get singled out. I think I'll go table to table durring formal nights and say to the women how well mannered her husband is:D I didn't want to sinlge out the older crowd as being rude, I love older people and plan to be one soon;) It just seems like the kids get a bad wrap concidering they pay a full fare. I have even noticed my kids being snubed at bars by the staff, and that irritates me also. I will say the staff on our most recent Diamond Hawaii cruise was exceptional. There were more seniors than I have ever seen before.

[Kineticoh20]

On our Alaska cruise this September, we had some really rough seas. One family sat in the buffet area with their young daughter throwing up -- this was right in the middle of hundreds of people who were trying to eat their breakfast. These parents should have had better manners. There were two parents with her, there was no reason they couldn't have taken turns with her in their cabin while the other family members ate. I guess my point is, whether it's children, seniors, or middle-aged folks -- you shouldn't impose yourself on others' enjoyment of their cruise. For many of us, cruising is a luxury that we save for all year. It's a shame that some people don't have manners enough not to affect others' enjoyment. Unfortunately, it does seem that many parents on cruises let their children do whatever they want without supervision. Kudos to those parents who enforce the same manners on vacation as they do at home.

 

I totally agree they should have removed her asap. My wife and I had to be asked to be moved from a group of seniors during a dinning room lunch last month after thier conversation turned to how they were throwing up in thier cabins and how sick they were. Then of course the conversation turned to all thier ailments.

[Kineticoh20]

Don, Sorry you were given such a bad impression by the elderly fellow. Most of us Seniors enjoy seeing kids having fun. As someone said, that guy must have had a permanent bad case of the grumpies.

 

We were on that cruise too (BTW, where were you - we were wanting to meet you at the CC meet & greets), and hardly knew there were children on the ship. The few we saw were quiet and well behaved. Even really young ones in the anytime dining room were great throughout meals lasting well over an hour.

 

I think many of us have read horror stories or have have seen kids that were not properly cared for by parents who were vacationing from parenting, but the vast majority of children on cruises are good kids. Occasionally there are the ones who think it's great fun to push all the buttons in the elevators, which tends to annoy adult passengers. But that's a minor annoyance, as is the occasional noisiness of kids running in the cabin corridors. But those are not everyday happenings.

 

And it's too bad that one crabby senior citizen gives the rest of us seniors a bad name.

 

I tried so hard to make the 2pm greet. My wife and I were in the sanctuary in the steam room. We had a great cruise as I hope the group did. The staff was exelent imho. We are going on the 2 day on the Dawn May 4th so we can get to Platinum before our 10 day next April:D

[AllieInMD]

I'm the single mother of two, and I took them on our first cruise when they were 12 and 17 - and it was a 9 day Caribbean one. Tablemates were amazed at how mature and polite my daughter (17) was, and how well behaved my son was (12). The only thing that threw them was which fork to use in what order, and my daughter tackling lobster! I think the poster's response was perfectly acceptable - I'd have done the same. I've taught my children that when people are discriminatory on any criteria, it's good to speak up - and few people who do discriminate get the point unless it's pointed back at them.

 

On the cruise we were on, there were over 1500 children, last hurrah before school started, and kids ran absolutely wild with no parental supervision - so I do understand the older man's point, but - if you get on a cruise ship that allows kids - that's what you get. When I want an adults only vacation, I go to an adults only resort.

 

I don't know that this is the best behavior to use to set an example for a child...

 

Most of the kids I've come in contact with on board ships are relatively well behaved - as their parents, its up to the adults to teach them to behave properly. It's unfortunate that the bad apples give the rest of the bunch a bad name.

[Guest arowe6]

I totally agree they should have removed her asap. My wife and I had to be asked to be moved from a group of seniors during a dinning room lunch last month after thier conversation turned to how they were throwing up in thier cabins and how sick they were. Then of course the conversation turned to all thier ailments.

 

hahahahahahahahah! :D

[Kineticoh20]

I don't know that this is the best behavior to use to set an example for a child...

 

Most of the kids I've come in contact with on board ships are relatively well behaved - as their parents, its up to the adults to teach them to behave properly. It's unfortunate that the bad apples give the rest of the bunch a bad name.

 

Your right, I would like to think that people who shell out $10k plus to vacation are a little bit refinned and have taken thier kids on these type vacations before. It's not like it's thier first time on a luxury vacation. It's not like thier only vacations are to Disneyworld, so I think most kids at least from what I have seen act appropriatly. Of course there are a few unruley one but far less than the bitter rude adults.