Calm me down...please!

Wow, I don't think I spend that much on clothes in 3-5 years!

I have this lovely, black, wool crepe skirt, fully lined, that I've had for years, is classic in styling and goes with me on almost every vacation. A variety of tops and different jewelry can take it from being business, to smart casual, to pretty formal. A pair of nice pants will do the same. A sundress or two, a pair of shorts and cute, casual tops (I like plain, colored t-shirts and my Hawaiian style shirts MIL got me), and a pair of jeans are really all you need. Also, I NEVER go ANYWHERE without a sweatshirt or hoodie, and a jacket or nice cardigan, even if I'm going somewhere here in Florida in the middle of summer. I can't tell you how many times I've needed that sweatshirt, either for a rainy day, or inside freezing a/c. When I haven't packed this sort of thing, I always ended up needing to buy one.

Take those clothes back! You really don't need them all, unless you want to completely update your wardrobe.

Cruising is not what you imagine. It is not the age of the Titanic so forget about it. I would never spend $$$ for cruising unless you just wanted to. If I shop for anything it will be thrift stores for me and my husband. There is some cheap sparkly deals there.

A simple blouse or dress can be dressed up just by blingy cheap necklaces and earrings with a shawl to boot!

No stress these days which makes packing simple too just by accessorizing :D

we did Alaska and did not have a problem wearing casual wear to dinner on X...dh wore polo and khaki on reg nights and dress black pants and shirt, tie and sweater vest and felt perfectly fine on even formal nights, no one cared how we were dressed. I had no dresses to bring just slacks and nice blouses! Everything was great... I no longer stress over cruise wardrobe. You will do fine when you free yourself of the thoughts that others will be judging your choices, they really don't care because they are mostly taking care of their own trip! Take a breath and de-stress your mind and younwillmdomgreat

Introduction: My husband is 65 and I am 61. We are plain, simple, small town people who spend our winters in our own place in Belize. Otherwise, our usual vacation style is down to earth, self directed, self catering, VRBO-ish, etc.

 

The process: For his 65th birthday, the mister decides he would like to take BC Ferries up the inside passage to Prince Rupert and then Alaska Ferries to explore further north. I did research and found it outrageously expensive. Enter cruising. We are booked on HAL Noordam...and I am freaking out.

 

The dilemma: I went shopping yesterday and spent almost $1000 on fancy (to me) clothes, shoes and makeup only to find today that I need 'cocktail wear' and 'smart casual' attire. I googled it and I don't have anything that resembles what I found. I am sooo not sparkly or button down. I'm 5'9" so I don't wear heels. I crochet a lot of my own scarves/shawls/wraps. I happily spend my winters barefoot, in long t-shirt dresses. The mister doesn't care _at all_ if he doesn't fit in. I am dying.

 

The solution: ...help me if you can sympathize!

Your life is soooo amaziiing!!! dont worry about the dress, you can complement it with a cute blazer

Alaskan cruises tend to be a lot more "casual" and that's mainly because of the weather. People tend to wear heavier clothing (jeans, sweaters, etc.). and lots of camp - lol really casual - many men on an alaskan cruise that won't go any where else --

 

I do bring a suit jacket with (for the formal nights) and dress & shirts slacks for dinner. Nothing fancy at all. My wife has dresses that she brings, but they're not "cocktail dresses" or formal gowns. Think along the lines of something slightly less casual than what you'd wear for a wedding.

 

So unless the dress code is extremely strict (I have no idea what HAL is like in that regard), I wouldn't fret over it.

Keep a fun 'dress up' out fit but don't spend too much - enjoy !!!!

I would bet that even on Norwegian there are still some people who dress up from time to time.

I just got off an Alaskan cruise with Norwegian and this is true - some dressed up quite a bit for dinner in the evenings, but that was a small percentage. Most were wearing the sweaters and fleece jackets they'd had on all day - this is Alaska, after all! And then you had the usual people who seem to wear a t-shirt and gym shorts perpetually. It was interesting to see such a wide range of attire in one room!

But what I noticed most of all was that nobody cared...nobody was judging, or looking askance at someone else's wardrobe. Fancy people could be fancy, casual people could be casual. We are all there to have a fun and relaxing vacation, no time to care about what someone else is wearing! Besides, I preferred the buffet to the dining rooms anyway.

People disregarding very simple dress codes seems to be a sign of our times. When the staff of a ship, airline or hotel dress better than 90% of those they serve I think it's disrespectful to these hard working people as well as other guests you will be interacting with as you travel. Black tie formal is for very specialized occasions these days and has its place which is fine but show me a passenger that wants his waiter or bar tender to serve you in cargo shorts and a pull over shirt? Tasteful and appropriate for the occasion need not be expensive nor should it be intimidating to those around you. Take pride in the way you look and please don't fall into the ever growing, 'I paid for this and I'll dress anyway I want' minority.

You LIVE in BELIZE....and you're cruising??? I would NEVER leave the warmth of the Caribbean for British Columbia.... what is he thinking???...............

It's called getting out and exploring the world.

Thank you so much everyone! I am feeling much, much better.

 

I am going to keep and bring the clothes that we bought as most are the kind of things that we will be able to wear again in spring and fall in Canada. The rest? I can only hope that someone gets married soon so that I can reuse my little black dress and snappy new sandals and the mister can wear his dress pants, shirt and tie again.

 

...and to the person who private messaged me to suggest that we bring the same 'resort wear' that we wear in Belize... where I live in Belize the prevailing attitude is 'no shirt, no shoes, no problem'. I'm guessing that, when cruising, if my husband went shirtless and I went shoe-less that there might be a problem :D

Happy Birthday to the Mister. Absolutely loved your last sentence. I understand what you are talking about since we lived in Key West. I like to dress up on formal nights since I don't get to very often, but not everyone likes to. Sounds like you are going to be dressed perfectly fine. Since you are keeping the new clothes you will have to take more cruises to get as much use out of them as possible. :D Enjoy your cruise.

People disregarding very simple dress codes seems to be a sign of our times. When the staff of a ship, airline or hotel dress better than 90% of those they serve I think it's disrespectful to these hard working people as well as other guests you will be interacting with as you travel. Black tie formal is for very specialized occasions these days and has its place which is fine but show me a passenger that wants his waiter or bar tender to serve you in cargo shorts and a pull over shirt? Tasteful and appropriate for the occasion need not be expensive nor should it be intimidating to those around you. Take pride in the way you look and please don't fall into the ever growing, 'I paid for this and I'll dress anyway I want' minority.

Your words cannot be more true. It's all about the me generation. :rolleyes:

We no longer haul fancy duds, what a relief! My DH has a sports jacket and grey slacks w/a blue or white shirt. Otherwise he has Khaki pants and a couple dress shirts, blue jeans and polo shirts.

I wear Black flowy pants and have a couple different pretty tops. The rest of the time I just wear slacks and on shore comfy play clothes and a fleece jacket.

Take you stuff back and invest in cute sandles and good walking shoes.

It's always cold in the ship bring a wrap for evening!

Alaska is a favorite cruise for us and my family lives in Alaska (good excuse to visit).

Sent from my iPhone using Forums

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful advice. Our cruise is over and I have had time to reflect a bit.

In my experience, the idea that no one cares what you are wearing is a totally false one. We went to the dining room on formal night, me in my new LBD and sandals and the mister in his dress pants, shirt and tie (he doesn't own a jacket and wouldn't buy one just for the cruise). While we were waiting to be seated, 4 impeccably dressed couples came by. One of the women looked us up and down, said 'Looks like someone didn't read their bulletin' and had a giggle with another woman before moving on. I was so taken aback at her rudeness that I couldn't speak. Needless to say, we left. I couldn't stop myself from feeling judged so we ate at the Lido buffet or had room service for every meal afterwards.

My advice for down to earth people like us is; if you intend to dine in the main dining room, especially on formal nights, wear the finest clothing you can afford (think formal cocktail attire for women and a good suit for men) and kick it up a notch with high end jewelry, footwear and accessories. There really are people who will look down their nose at you for anything less.

While we were waiting to be seated, 4 impeccably dressed couples came by. One of the women looked us up and down, said 'Looks like someone didn't read their bulletin' and had a giggle with another woman before moving on. I was so taken aback at her rudeness that I couldn't speak. Needless to say, we left. I couldn't stop myself from feeling judged so we ate at the Lido buffet or had room service for every meal afterwards.

So sad. I will tell you this...those 4 couples were in the minority, as you would have seen if you had entered the dining room.

OTOH, I don't blame you for not wanting to dine with rude people.

OTOH, you paid for the nice meal that you missed.

Pity the folks who are slaves to fashion.

BTW, thank you for coming back with such a nice, informative post. :D

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful advice. Our cruise is over and I have had time to reflect a bit.

 

In my experience, the idea that no one cares what you are wearing is a totally false one. We went to the dining room on formal night, me in my new LBD and sandals and the mister in his dress pants, shirt and tie (he doesn't own a jacket and wouldn't buy one just for the cruise). While we were waiting to be seated, 4 impeccably dressed couples came by. One of the women looked us up and down, said 'Looks like someone didn't read their bulletin' and had a giggle with another woman before moving on. I was so taken aback at her rudeness that I couldn't speak. Needless to say, we left. I couldn't stop myself from feeling judged so we ate at the Lido buffet or had room service for every meal afterwards.

 

My advice for down to earth people like us is; if you intend to dine in the main dining room, especially on formal nights, wear the finest clothing you can afford (think formal cocktail attire for women and a good suit for men) and kick it up a notch with high end jewelry, footwear and accessories. There really are people who will look down their nose at you for anything less.

There is one of those types on every ship, you have to just say "bitch FU" to yourself of course and pay no attn. in the dining rm I try to dress like I'm going to a nice restaurant or church. I am so sorry you allow a couple of snooty bitches to effect your lovely cruise.

Introduction: My husband is 65 and I am 61. We are plain, simple, small town people who spend our winters in our own place in Belize. Otherwise, our usual vacation style is down to earth, self directed, self catering, VRBO-ish, etc.

 

The process: For his 65th birthday, the mister decides he would like to take BC Ferries up the inside passage to Prince Rupert and then Alaska Ferries to explore further north. I did research and found it outrageously expensive. Enter cruising. We are booked on HAL Noordam...and I am freaking out.

 

The dilemma: I went shopping yesterday and spent almost $1000 on fancy (to me) clothes, shoes and makeup only to find today that I need 'cocktail wear' and 'smart casual' attire. I googled it and I don't have anything that resembles what I found. I am sooo not sparkly or button down. I'm 5'9" so I don't wear heels. I crochet a lot of my own scarves/shawls/wraps. I happily spend my winters barefoot, in long t-shirt dresses. The mister doesn't care _at all_ if he doesn't fit in. I am dying.

 

The solution: ...help me if you can sympathize!

I hope you & your hubby have a great time. I didn't read all the comments but wanted to add my own. Sorry if this is a repeat of what others have said. We usually sail Carnival to the Caribbean, but last year decided we wanted to sail through the Panama Canal. Holland America had the best itinerary, best price for that-in our opinion anyway. I was worried that Holland Am would be more formal than what we were used to-Carnival. I did stress a lot as you are now. Lo & behold, it wasn't nearly as bad as I thought it would be -quite the opposite. Yes, there were a few stuffy folks, but mostly just every day, very nice, wonderful people. On Gala nights in the MDR we saw everything from dark suit with ties to slacks with button up shirt & no ties on guys & women with long dresses to slacks & shirts. Casual nights were slacks & collared shirts, even jeans for guys & capris, dresses & slacks for gals. I have read that Holland Am's Alaskan cruises are even less formal. So no worries, be yourself- you don't need a $1000 wardrobe. I felt very comfortable in a pair of slacks w/ blouse or a dress. I packed a couple of sweaters for a change up over my blouse or dress. Holland Am also has a good priced laundry service- it was $7.00 per day of the cruise per cabin for unlimited laundry. So I was able to pack much less with the laundry service.

If I were you, I'd pack my hand made shawls & scarves to wear over a pair of slacks with blouse. Hubby can get by with just a pair of dockers or similar slacks with a collared shirt. Good luck & enjoy your cruise.

Sorry- I just read your last post. Those people were the wrong ones, not you. As I said earlier, there will be a few stuffy people on board, but the majority of passengers are down to earth, kind & friendly. Comments like you heard were rude & totally out of line. Sorry you experienced this. I hope you enjoyed your cruise otherwise.

Thanks so much everyone for your thoughtful advice. Our cruise is over and I have had time to reflect a bit.

 

In my experience, the idea that no one cares what you are wearing is a totally false one. We went to the dining room on formal night, me in my new LBD and sandals and the mister in his dress pants, shirt and tie (he doesn't own a jacket and wouldn't buy one just for the cruise). While we were waiting to be seated, 4 impeccably dressed couples came by. One of the women looked us up and down, said 'Looks like someone didn't read their bulletin' and had a giggle with another woman before moving on. I was so taken aback at her rudeness that I couldn't speak. Needless to say, we left. I couldn't stop myself from feeling judged so we ate at the Lido buffet or had room service for every meal afterwards.

 

My advice for down to earth people like us is; if you intend to dine in the main dining room, especially on formal nights, wear the finest clothing you can afford (think formal cocktail attire for women and a good suit for men) and kick it up a notch with high end jewelry, footwear and accessories. There really are people who will look down their nose at you for anything less.

No offense, but feeling judged is all in your head. If the staff did not turn you away, then you could have eaten in the MDR.

Don't give random strangers that much power.

"Looks like someone didn't read their bulletin" and had a giggle with another woman before moving on.

I'm a stickler for rules (or in cruise ship lingo 'suggestions') when it comes to dress codes but I find mean spirited condescending comments unacceptable. Your description of the way you both dressed that evening was certainly better than 'suggested'.

Being just a bit sarcastic every now and then I would have replied to those two self imposed fashion police, "No, actually we did read the bulletin but it looks like the two of you didn't? I hate to be the one that tells you but both of you are early for the costume party in the buffet. That's tomorrow night, not tonight. By the way, we just love your costumes"."

Had the two of you shown up looking like something that fell out of a cats mouth I probably would have 'volunteered' that you might feel uncomfortable dressed as casually as you are in the MDR but I would have avoided making fun of you.

Belize Mama -- the only response to a nasty remark like that is "and it sounds like someone left her manners at home -- assuming she has them at all." Yes -- said out loud so she can hear you. Nasty rude people SHOULD be called out.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Belize Mama:

I am going to be getting off the Carnival Breeze In Belize City Sept 28th. I have never been anywhere!!! Any recommendations on things to safely do in Belize City? Thank you so much for your recommendations as well as clothing questions...I had the same dilemma!

Perhaps on your next cruise, you could hit the thrift shops and get formal night clothing? We do that for our cruises since we only fly with carry ons and formal wear takes up too much room. Plus we don't have any formal wear to pack and nobody on the island really sells much of it, either. For the price of flying one bag on the airplane, we can drop into a thrift shop near the cruise line port, pick up some sparkly stuff to wear on formal night and then give it back to the thrift shop afterwards and not have to try to find a place in the closet for it.

Just had to say Belize mama

Nasty, rude, pathetic people have no place on that ship, any ship or anywhere at all.....the one consolation is that 'what goes around comes around'

I feel so sad that 'THOSE HAGS' probably spoilt what was meant to be a wonderful experience!!........I sincerely hope it didn't, and hope that you go back in the future!!

In all walks of life, there are the leeches and cockroaches,that from time to time, surface from under whichever putrid mess they happen to reside, but eventually, they will be judged!!

Finally....you and your hubby would always be welcome at our table!!

Steve n Wendy

Shop at Goodwill! My sister is an Actuary with a salary of $240K. She never bought any baby clothes new, always second hand. When I visit her in Chapel Hill, NC she's always shopping for second hand and when finished she'll sell back to the second hand shop.

Don't be embarrassed there's always good deals to be had.

Why is everyone suggesting she has to up her game and go find affordable formal wear? A LBD is absolutely FINE and acceptable for formal night. We used to do the long formal gowns. We've scaled back tremendously in the last few years and have no intention of going back. It's all about accessories...and the only accessory you need is self-confidence. Mainline cruise lines are more and more laid back and there are less and less people dressing to the nines. Doesn't ruin my dining experience to see them trying to impress strangers, and if my LBD ruins it for them, they need to pick a different table. This is just like the folks that roll their eyes about those that wear a lanyard, saying it's a dead give-away that they are newbies. That Seapass card on my lanyard reads Diamond on one line and Elite on the other one. I'll be packing my LBD (and lanyard), wearing a big smile and would absolutely laugh at a remark about either. :D

I am so sorry you and your husband encountered such rude women. I'm also so sorry that you were so rocked by their totally unacceptable remarks that you relegated yourselves to the buffet or room service.

Some people, consider themselves the "dress code police." They somehow believe they have been designated arbiters of "proper dress" by the cruise line. Whether they are nasty like you encountered or those who would quietly whisper to you that you may be uncomfortable in the MDR because you have on what they consider a notch below what they are wearing, do not let them get to you. Tell them it is none of their business and "stuff it" (or other similar phrases). Go about your business and have a nice meal. I sometimes feel sorry for those ladies and men - they must leave miserable lives that they have to make nasty comments about someone's not-up-to-their-standards clothing choices.

I am also one of those who wear my every day clothes and take a simple LBD. I have no desire to take a costume with me to wear in a mass-market banquet hall to make-believe that I am in the 1960s sailing with the Cleavers from Mayfield, Ohio or in 1912 with the 1st class passengers of the Titanic...;)

P.S. I'd actually move to a table for 4 (instead of my usual 2-top) to have dinner with you and your husband!