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Everything posted by 2chiefs

  1. Unless you stayed at a Holiday last night, I don't think you are qualified to give advice on this subject. (Unless you know about old Holiday Inn commercials, you won't get this reference 🙂 )
  2. Those cabanas are so expensive that I'm sure the attendant would be thrilled at 20% 🙂
  3. After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year outside of New York City, New York scientists found traces of copper cable dating back 100 years. They came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a Los Angeles, California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet somewhere just outside Oceanside. Shortly after, a story in the LA Times read: “California archaeologists report a finding of 200-year-old copper cable, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers.” One week later, a local newspaper in Baton Rouge, LA reported the following: “After digging down about 30 feet deep in his pasture down the bayou, Boudreaux, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. After consulting with his best friend, Thibodeaux, Boudreaux and Thibodeaux concluded that 300 years ago, Louisiana had already gone wireless”.
  4. A man wakes up in the hospital bandaged from head to foot. The doctor comes in and says, "Ah, I see you've regained consciousness. Now you probably won't remember, but you were in a huge pile-up on the freeway. You're going to be ok, you'll walk again and everything, but your penis was severed in the accident and we couldn't find it. The man groans, but the doctor goes on, "You've got $9000 in insurance compensation coming and we now have the technology to build you a new penis. They work great but they don't come cheap. It's roughly $1000 an inch." The man perks up. "So," the doctor says, “You must decide how many inches you want. But I understand that you have been married for over thirty years and this is something you should discuss with your wife. If you had a five inches before and get a nine inches now she might be a bit upset. If you had a nine inches before and you decide to only invest in five inches now, she might be disappointed. It's important that she plays a role in helping you make a decision." The man agrees to talk it over with his wife. The doctor comes back the next day, "So, have you spoken with your wife?" "Yes I have," says the man. "And has she helped you make a decision?" "Yes" says the man. "What is your decision?" asks the doctor.. "We're getting granite counter-tops."
  5. She's most definitely most senior! LOL (That's not my breakfast so I have no idea what's in the cup. I can assure you, if it was mine, it would have coffee in it)
  6. Did you know that bees are actually allergic to pollen? They break out in hives.
  7. A teenage boy had just passed his driving test and inquired of his father as to when they could discuss his use of the car. The father offered his son the following deal. “You bring your grades up from a C to a B average, study your Bible a little and get your hair cut. Then we’ll talk about the car.” The boy thought about that for a moment, decided he’d settle for the offer and they agreed on it. After about six weeks his father said, “Son, you’ve brought your grades up and I’ve observed that you have been studying your Bible, but I ’m disappointed you haven’t had your hair cut.” The boy said, “You know, Dad, I’ve been thinking about that, and I’ve noticed in my studies of the Bible that Samson had long hair, John the Baptist had long hair, Moses had long hair, and there’s even strong evidence that Jesus had long hair.” Got to love the Dad’s reply: “Did you also notice they all walked everywhere they went?”
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