Anyone's spouse not into cruising? (Gasp!)

[CruzerDeb]

Not really a problem with my spouse. This would be my in-laws, I guess you could say.

 

Both my longtime common-law GF and I love cruising and we would like nothing more than to have her mother join us. We're mid-40s and "Mom" is mid-70s. She's worked hard all her life as a nurse, and deserves to at least try it. The last vacation she ever took was, if I remember correctly, mid-to-late 90's when she and a couple of her sisters went to an all-inclusive in Cuba.

 

The problem is her other daughter (my GFs sister) and her new husband are both anti-cruise. And they are venomous in their anti-cruise stance. I don't know why. Neither has ever stepped foot on a modern cruise ship.

 

So whenever the topic of taking "mom" on a cruise, the anti-cruise in-laws just pipe right up and start feeding her rhetoric about cruising. "You'll hate being cooped up onboard", "you'll get terribly seasick", "you don't have enough time to do anything in port", "it'll cost an arm and a leg if you want a decent room", "the ships are crowded", "everybody gets sick and passes it on to you", and a million other things that can happen at any other resort in the world. Mom, being a little bit on the naive and gullible side, listens to the BS.

 

Mom has never given us a definitive NO, but she's also never given us a definitive YES. Every time we think we have her convinced, her other daughter keeps talking her out of it. EDIT. Actually, we did have her convinced a couple times over the last year. But the anti-cruise in-laws ends up talking her out of it a day or two later./EDIT

 

I think it's because the in-laws don't want us to do it for Mom. They want to take part in taking Mom on a vacation, but because it wasn't there idea in the first place they go out of their way to sabotage the idea. Nobody invited them to come along, so I fail to see why they even bother. Like, why they don't take Mom to an AI is beyond me. We don't care. Go right ahead. Mom is capable of having as many vacations as she'd like, you know.

 

Sibling rivalry can be an awful thing when it continues on into adulthood. They only people they're hurting now is Mom. My brothers and I gave up on that crap when we became adults. Why my GFs family keeps harbouring it well into their 40s is way beyond my comprehension.

 

Sorry, what a tough situation! I hope you get to take her cruising with you very soon.

[pyropoodle]

Add me to the club! My DH, thanks to a bad experience on his 1st cruise, has decided he hates cruising. I tried to tell him they are not all filled with hurricanes and missed ports, but he doesn't believe me:p

 

After our cruise back in 2008, the thought that I might never cruise again was killing me. I decided to go ahead and book a cruise for this past January and I took my mom with me. She loves to cruise and she's a widow so she didn't have to leave anyone at home. My DH was ok with that.

 

This summer, because it's our 10th anniversary, he has said he will go with me again because he knows I love it so much. I have chosen an intinerary that is very busy and action packed to see if it will keep him interested. i really feel that I am pulling out all of the stops on this trip. There will be kayaking, ATV's, Segways, underwater scooters, hiking, and fingers crossed NO HURRICANES!

 

If he likes it, I will plan a Med cruise for 2013 or 2014. If he doesn't like it, I will still plan, but probably go alone or see if my mom would like to join me. I'm taking her and 3 of her friends this coming Januaray anyway. Any excuse to get on a boat. I really hope he has a great time this September and washes all the bad memories of his first cruise away.

 

It's funny, even though there was a Hurricane and we missed 1 port, I still had a great time on that cruise. Every day was sunny with the exception of 1 day. (1 out of 7 ain't bad!) It's almost like we took 2 different cruises. the stuff he remembers, I don't remember. I remember fun, drinks, relaxation and he remembers rain, boredom, and not much else.

 

I hope I can change his mind in September, but I'm prepared mentally to go it alone if I have to. I simply cannot give up cruising. It's pretty much the only thing I look forward to all year long.

[ljslight]

My DH and I went on our first cruise and I loved it. We booked another 2 yrs later and took 12 people with us. we had 6 cabins and had a blast. So I ask my DH to go on another one. A superbowel cruise 2/2/2013. He says no, I want a land vacation. I asked him 3 times and he said no, so I booked it with my sister. He makes jabs at me about my cruise like how he would go to Mt Rushmore but there isn't a ship to take me there!

I asked id he wanted to go on the bloggers cruise in 2014. He says no, so I am going without him! Of course he doesn't seem to mind sitting in a tree every weekend hunting during the shot gun season and bow season, so I figure I will spend "my hunting time" on the ship hunting a chair by the pool!

[Banditswife]

Not really a problem with my spouse. This would be my in-laws, I guess you could say.

 

Both my longtime common-law GF and I love cruising and we would like nothing more than to have her mother join us. We're mid-40s and "Mom" is mid-70s. She's worked hard all her life as a nurse, and deserves to at least try it. The last vacation she ever took was, if I remember correctly, mid-to-late 90's when she and a couple of her sisters went to an all-inclusive in Cuba.

 

The problem is her other daughter (my GFs sister) and her new husband are both anti-cruise. And they are venomous in their anti-cruise stance. I don't know why. Neither has ever stepped foot on a modern cruise ship.

 

So whenever the topic of taking "mom" on a cruise, the anti-cruise in-laws just pipe right up and start feeding her rhetoric about cruising. "You'll hate being cooped up onboard", "you'll get terribly seasick", "you don't have enough time to do anything in port", "it'll cost an arm and a leg if you want a decent room", "the ships are crowded", "everybody gets sick and passes it on to you", and a million other things that can happen at any other resort in the world. Mom, being a little bit on the naive and gullible side, listens to the BS.

 

Mom has never given us a definitive NO, but she's also never given us a definitive YES. Every time we think we have her convinced, her other daughter keeps talking her out of it. EDIT. Actually, we did have her convinced a couple times over the last year. But the anti-cruise in-laws ends up talking her out of it a day or two later./EDIT

 

I think it's because the in-laws don't want us to do it for Mom. They want to take part in taking Mom on a vacation, but because it wasn't there idea in the first place they go out of their way to sabotage the idea. Nobody invited them to come along, so I fail to see why they even bother. Like, why they don't take Mom to an AI is beyond me. We don't care. Go right ahead. Mom is capable of having as many vacations as she'd like, you know.

 

Sibling rivalry can be an awful thing when it continues on into adulthood. They only people they're hurting now is Mom. My brothers and I gave up on that crap when we became adults. Why my GFs family keeps harbouring it well into their 40s is way beyond my comprehension.

You'll just have to book the cruise-don't ask her. Then give it to her for a bday or Christmas gift. Then she can't say no. Don't tell the in-laws tils about a week before.

[Banditswife]

For us- I was the anti cruiser-IMAGINE THAT. DH kept wanting to go on a cruise, I kept saying no. Finally I gave in. Look at us now, I cannot wait to get on another ship. To the OP: do what's best for your family. If you've done the things he likes to do for yrs, then it is his turn to try a cruise for you. Tell him he can't knock it til he's tried it. Good luck, maybe he'll love it after the 1st time, like I did. Thank goodness I finally gave in, look what fun I would have missed out on. Now I wish we had started cruising sooner.

[divingmedic]

Oh and I must say for honesty's sake: when my DDs and I were planning for next year's cruise, we were kind of "hoping" that DH wouldn't want to come. We're really bad, I know! It's just that we had SO much fund with just the three of us that we're looking forward to doing it again. This time, they'll be 20 and 18 and they'll be able to go everywhere on the ship (except Serenity, I know).

 

Yes, on the one hand I want him to go, but on the other . . .

 

May 2014 will be our year to cruise (both girls in college!). :)

Some years when DW and DD go with parents to a family reunion out of state, I go off and a live aboard dive trip. Being away from each other some times is good.

[rgalpaugh]

My wife is very sensitive to the motion, and while she's bravely gone on 6 cruises with me, almost always having at least one bad motion day despite using every preventative measure known to man, our last cruise had seas rough enough that two of our three ports were cancelled and she was in bed for 2 1/2 days. Much as I love cruising, I love her more, so we'll find another way to enjoy our vacations. Can't say she didn't give it a fair try.

[debster11]

Mine isn't real thrilled with cruising either. He'd rather stay on land. The last cruise we took together was in 2007. He is going in Dec but would rather be doing something else. Ho hum. I envy the people on here who have husbands that share their passion.

[Anjanu]

My DH could take cruising or leave it. However, he doesn't mind if I go without him. My only problem is that I don't have anyone else to go with! My son and I usually go and have a wonderful time but now he and his girlfriend are living together and it's not so easy for him to go with me anymore and I have no desire to go alone.

My son and I can easily get the time off work. Unfortunately, his girlfriend can't. :(

[mclinns04]

DH likes to grump, but has resigned himself to the fact that we ARE going to travel and/or cruise a couple of times a year. The funny thing is that he almost always has a great time when we go, but hates to admit it.

[terryinal]

I'm I the only man who go's and leaves his wife at home? We have been married for 40 yr's. I have been on 23 cruises and her about 5 or 6. She dosen't mine me going and I don't mine leaveing her at home. Now if I said I'm going to a casino,she will knock me down to get in the car. I go with my kids and grandkids,and some times a lone. It works for us. I do wish she would go,but in no way try to make her go. I'm retired and she still works. We do go other places togather.

[ravenjls]

DH does not like cruising. He gets bored on sea days, would much rather be laying on a beach or in a huge pool with a swimup bar. On port days he hates the idea of having to back on board at a certain time especially if hes having fun...and lastly hates that he had to eat dinner at a specific time. Well since our last cruise 6 yrs ago...I have gone on several cruises with my sister and my grown girls and after hearing us talk about them he has decided to try again. Lucky for me I have booked the southern caribbean which is port intensive, the departure time is 5/6pm so no hurry to get back to the ship and lastly we are doing anytime dining so we can go when we want...keeping my fingers crossed that he has a great time!

[Quilting_Cruiser]

You'll just have to book the cruise-don't ask her. Then give it to her for a bday or Christmas gift. Then she can't say no. Don't tell the in-laws tils about a week before.

 

+1

 

Except I'd email sis and BIL from the ship. LOL.

[Florings]

My DH doesn't like cruising (he'll go reluctantly). He says there's not enough for him to do. He doesn't like laying in the sun or going to the beach in the ports. He doesn't like drinking and dancing or any of the fun cruise stuff. He likes to golf and do active stuff. Not into the games, but will hit the casino for a short time each evening.

 

Anyway I'm going with BFF in September, and hope to go with DD next year for her 21st birthday!

 

But hope he will go again some day....

[hansolosmom]

You'll just have to book the cruise-don't ask her. Then give it to her for a bday or Christmas gift. Then she can't say no. Don't tell the in-laws tils about a week before.

 

I did this for my mom. We ended up having a great time. I'm planning on surprising her again for her birthday this year.

[Max and Ruby]

My DH also doesn't like cruising, but I nagged him into it this summer with tales of "let's see the Mayan ruins while the kids are in the kids club." He's more of a hiker/outdoorsy type. He goes on hikes with the guys and I have gone on cruises with a girlfriend (whose husband also doesn't like to cruise.) That will end for me though because not my fault I got a sinus infection last cruise with her and "I was no fun". Sorry chills and nausea will do that to you (the Z pac is very powerful 1st dose!).

 

But with my 2 DD's getting older I may take just them if they like to cruise, or suck it up and pay 200% for solo price. :(

[bunchesofun]

When we booked the first cruise last year, DH was not looking forward to it. He thought that he would feel confined on the ship. Well he loved it and is very much looking forward to our next cruise. So if you can get him to go with you, he might turn out to like it.

[carhopsrock]

We made a deal years ago...I wont bug him to cruise with me if he doesnt bug me to go fishing with him. I do invite him every time I get ready to book a cruise, just in case he changes his mind.

[reno3]

My DH has gone on all of our cruises. He could care less either way. We returned home from the Pride two weeks ago and he said he does not want to go on another one for awhile :eek: We had a great time he just could careless. Our DS will graduate from high school next year and I wanted to do one more cruise next April for a grad. gift and before he goes off to college. DH said he does not want to go and for the two of us to go :D:D no problem. DH said it will be a vacation for him to be home without us :rolleyes:

[gone_cruisin]

Mine was a slightly different problem.

 

My EX introduced me to cruising and got me hooked. The problem I kept running into was that he was insistant on occupying all 3 of his vacation weeks around NASCAR races. I could never get him to give up one week for us to cruise. When he finally got a 4th week, I thought for sure I'd be home free.....but instead he decided to pull out the NASCAR schedule and find a new race to attend.

 

Then the other excuse I would hear, would be money. All vacation money had to be spend for racing and then only if there was anything left could we talk about a different vacation.

 

Left the man and never looked back!

[iamwmn32]

So, does anyone have a spouse that's not really into cruising?

 

For my first cruise, I took my then 15 and 13 year-old daughters on a spring break trip. DH prefers to ski. Spring break was late in the season (like April 12), so skiing was out for the girls. He went skiing in March and we went cruising in April (2009). I must say, this was the BEST vacation I ever took (with or without DH).

 

We're now planning our second Girls' Cruise for next June. Again, DH would rather spend his vacation money skiing (he says he'll die of he doesn't get to ski out West). For background, I've gone on at least 10 ski trips out West with him (and our girls went several times). I don't enjoy skiing anymore. Too much work! :p

 

He says that he'll cruise with my in the future when it's just he and I, but I have my doubts.

 

Reading all the great threads here and seeing all the pictures of couples enjoying the cruising experience together really makes me sad. So what do you do if your spouse doesn't like to cruise?

 

I love to cruise and my husband is just not into it. He will go if I really want him to go but he has no problem with me going without him. He goes stir crazy on the sea days. He did cruise with me in 2011 and he is going on a 7 night cruise with me in March 2013. I enjoy vacationing very much with my husband and that is why we always have at least 1 vacation together a year. This year we are flying to Costa Rica in June.

If your husband doesn't have a problem with you cruising without him and you have no problem with him skiing without you, I say keep it up but try to make time for a little getaway for just the two of you every so often.

[pbmsmile]

Thats what we do too. My husband enjoysncruising but niot near as much as I do. I have taken one with each of my 3 adult children, and have one planned in August with my daughter again and one next march with my sister. I enjoy going with the hubby too but we are both teachers at different schools and our Spring breaks do not always mesh. This works for us. Some with...some without! ;)

[scgamecock]

So, does anyone have a spouse that's not really into cruising?... So what do you do if your spouse doesn't like to cruise?

 

My ex was not into cruising at all. That's one of the big reasons she's an ex.

[bluehenfan]

My non cruising husband isn't mine, but my best friends. She and I love traveling and especially cruising, but her husband is like my late husband was, a stay at home kind of guy. He will drive us to the airport and pick us up and wants to know all about our latest adventure, but never showed any interest in going himself. For their 25 wedding anniversary my friend surprised him by booking a cruise on the Dream for the two of them. She was so excited. He hated it. Never wanted to do anything but sit on their cove balcony and smoke his cigars ( bet their "neighbors" loved that !! ) . Never went to a show, a deck party,nothing.... She sat in the room playing solitare. He said , "never again !!" when they got home and she and I are happily planning our next cruise while her husband can't thank me enough for being her cruise buddy and sparing him the torture of another week at sea !!!

[marshalltp]

My DW has now gone on several cruises, but now insists that the quality of the dining has gone down to such a point that she does not want to cruise again for some time. My 7 year old son and I both would choose cruising every time, and I could not imagine going on a seperate vacation.

 

Our solution is that we will alternate vacation destinations annually, of course with some influence and planning of the other spouse. So it would appear that one year will be land based and the next will be on the seas.

 

PS I have to agree with her that our last two cruises, (Valor 03/11 and Liberty 03/12).....the quality of many of the food items seems to have regressed.

 

I am a big fan of the Carnival 2.0 changes however...