The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

[Gailerina]

Kids will be kids is the most annoying statement in the world. That statement is commonly used as an excuse to bullying. Also I know there are kids who do not cause parents a lot of trouble. I was such a kid BUT I gave a brother who is 7 years older and made some stupid decisions. I became an aunt at 12. I had no desire to be like him at all. My other brother is 2 years older and also did stupid things. I am from a big city do my parents did raise 4 kids who have never done drugs and ect.

 

I made my own path so I could be a good example for my nieces and nephews

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk ~ sign the awesome Gailerina!

[serene56]

I didnt read the whole thing but am curious to know if your kids will ever be able to sail carnival again.

 

I had an incident in 2008 and he is black balled from carnival.

 

--

 

I am also curious to people--- if you forbid your kids to go to other people cabins why is it ok for other peoples kids to come to yours?

[MandynJim]

I want to know how many of the people slamming the OP have children. Or if they were perfect growing up, lol. I caused lots of trouble and very little did my parents actually know about, and I have been financially responsible for myself since 19, married at 21 owned my first home at 22 and was a mom at 23. I still went out and partied hard in HS and my parents were none the wiser. LOL

 

Good for you OP for reigning your kids in when they needed it and teaching them a lesson!

[All4fun&fun4all]

Related and similar but not on a cruise ship.

 

When I was about 13 or 14, my mom and I and best friend and her mom all went to see a concert (Motley Crue I think) in another town. They got 2 hotel rooms and best friend and I got one room and parents got a room down the hall.

 

I went buck wild. Smoking cigarettes, asking boys back to the room and drinking. Best friend was a little calmer than I was and didnt act like I did. I enjoyed the freedom and didnt really think about how I was affecting those around me.

 

Flash forward to check out time when the clerk said that there were multiple phone charges from our room that were long distance. Yep. The guys called their friends back home from our room.

 

Even worse, I cannot even imagine what could have happened to me if those boys were super evil. I of course told them that I was 18 because I was a really dumb teenager. Nothing happened but it could have ended sooooo much worse.

 

This was just a story to impart. Kids dont always think when they do things and I can assure you that my family was a super strict parental unit. They just had no idea I would be as careless as I was. There were MULTIPLE occasions that I could have ended up in a very bad situation. And I was a straight A student who NEVER got in trouble at school. Not even ONE detention. To this day I dont think my mom or dad knows half of the things I got into.

 

Oh, and as a side note....blatant troll is....blatant.

[Indianaseadog]

the moral of the story here is simply, there are NO perfect kids and NO perfect parents. To all of you judging the OP...be careful throwing those stones...they have a way of bouncing back and biting you in the....

 

To the OP...kudos for REALIZING you may have given them too much rope and adressed it. The mistake too many parents make is just shrugging it off and not dealing wit it. I'm sure both you and your kids have learned a lesson that wont soon be forgotten.

[kwagmyre]

OP, thanks for sharing your story. As someone who is considering taking his kids on their first cruise, and booking them into a separate room, this is enlightening, though not necessarily surprising. I almost lit a hotel room on fire once as a kid... yes I was playing with matches... and my parents were in the room right next door...

 

Though I think you were perhaps a little more liberal than I would have been, I fully understand where you are coming from in struggling with just how much to control vs. let go. Too much control and they turn into antisocial weirdos, too little control and they turn into jerks. And it really does depend on the individual kid, and the context you place them in.

 

Most of it, I chalk up to stupid kid stuff, except for the cigarette and burning the carpet. Maybe I am more sensitive to this having done something even more stupid myself at that age, and it being a ship. I'm not sure if I could have kept my cool like you did.

 

Side question, I think I recall from your posts that you are a single mom... if so, how did you book the kids into their own cabin? I thought at least one occupant had to be over 18?

[GrUvGrL]

I stopped reading at about page 4! But I'm with the majority - I thinnk you did a wonderful job handeling it mom!!

 

Seems like a mother of the year award may after all be called for and not a tarnished or tacky one either!

 

Thanks for posting this and making some of us less experienced parents with teens on cruises aware!

 

My 14 year old boy has come to realize there is very little he can get away with... upto a year ago (after advising on not so wise choices or why one choice was better then another... because...) his phrase of choice became "How did you know that?" to which we usually answered "Who do you think wrote the book you are reading?" His sister is not yet wise to the parent ninja ways and will try to occasionaly see where she stands if her foot is kinda but not really touching the boundries in a way we might not notice ( I am sure this line will get stepped on by both kids from time to time as they grow and get older)

 

Leaving in a month and we opted for a family suite for the 4 of us because they were too young to have their own cabin. (I am kind of glad now that they were) I consider my kids to be good kids, but I really did not consider all the influence from other kids around them! Or that they could get caught up in all the freedoms they will be allowed.

 

Although we have had many talks about these freedoms on the ship... we may need to reconsider this... not so much to take any of the freedoms they will have away, but more to set boundries. They both know it is unnacceptable to have other people in our suite... however I never even considered the possibility of them being invited to another kids suite with the parents of said kid quietly sleeping next door.

 

Again - Thank sfor the eye opener!

[Not_Done_Living]

Kudos to the OP for placing responsibility where it belongs. More parents should do this.

[LHP]

I think you handled this situation well.

 

The up side is hopefully this is a life lesson learned that will prevent something worse from happening in the future.

 

Also thank you for being willing to share this....perhaps you have prevented another parent from having to go through this.

[serene56]

Side question, I think I recall from your posts that you are a single mom... if so, how did you book the kids into their own cabin? I thought at least one occupant had to be over 18?

 

if kids are your own you can book them in a cabin across the hall.

if the kids bring a friend-- and the parents are not sailing that is when an adult needs to be booked intot he cabin

[CruisefromNY]

Related and similar but not on a cruise ship.

 

When I was about 13 or 14, my mom and I and best friend and her mom all went to see a concert (Motley Crue I think) in another town. They got 2 hotel rooms and best friend and I got one room and parents got a room down the hall.

 

I went buck wild. Smoking cigarettes, asking boys back to the room and drinking. Best friend was a little calmer than I was and didnt act like I did. I enjoyed the freedom and didnt really think about how I was affecting those around me.

 

Flash forward to check out time when the clerk said that there were multiple phone charges from our room that were long distance. Yep. The guys called their friends back home from our room.

 

Even worse, I cannot even imagine what could have happened to me if those boys were super evil. I of course told them that I was 18 because I was a really dumb teenager. Nothing happened but it could have ended sooooo much worse.

 

This was just a story to impart. Kids dont always think when they do things and I can assure you that my family was a super strict parental unit. They just had no idea I would be as careless as I was. There were MULTIPLE occasions that I could have ended up in a very bad situation. And I was a straight A student who NEVER got in trouble at school. Not even ONE detention. To this day I dont think my mom or dad knows half of the things I got into.

 

Oh, and as a side note....blatant troll is....blatant.

 

 

I was a "good kid",

I am 55 and my mother is 88. She still does not know and will never find out some of the things I did as a kid;)

 

BTW OP, you did make me laugh. Can't wait to hear about the next "adventure":D

[CurlyCali8]

Just another word of thanks for being brave & telling your story. I too have good, smart kids who've never gotten into trouble at school (Well, they're only 7 & 10 -- but even the naughty 1st graders get sent to the principal here.) That said, I've seen first-hand how my quiet 10 year old bookworm can go a little wild and follow the crowd when she's with a group her own age. :rolleyes: (Anybody driven around a group of 4th grade girls?)

 

It's hard for some of us to remember back that far, but dealing with peer pressure, impulse control and just childish bad judgement are part of growing up & learning -- for ALL of us. :)

[H3Go]

To the OP - you need to instill in your boys the old adage that nothing good ever happens after midnight (Club O2 isn't open that late!) Additionally, why would a 12 year old have the same curfew as a 16 year old? Set high standards now, before they begin to drive as that is when the testosterone really kicks-in (speaking from experience).

 

Good luck in parenting; it is the hardest job in the world and the most important.

[Winterstale]

Wow - I think it was very admirable, OP, that you posted this! Your honesty should be commended.

 

I have to say...my first thoughts went straight to what goes on in the headlines today...there is NO way I'd allow ANYONE in a room with my kids if I didn't first get up and go check it out - sexual predators can start out very young, after all...hate to say it, but it's true.

 

Anyway, good for you for posting this because I think it's a definite "don't let this happen to you" post!

[TxDiamondCruiser]

Thanks to all who are supportive. I know I am asking to get flamed by telling this. However, I don't care about the flamers. I really don't. I don't know them, they don't know me. I have just seen a whole lot of threads about how much freedom to give teens. I have no issue sharing what "could" happen. My little Knights in Shining Armour also carried a completely sloshed 15 year old girl to her cabin the last night to make sure she got there safely. I was personally surprised by the amount of underage drinking going on. I honestly believed it would be impossible, or at least very difficult for kids to get ahold of enough alcohol on a cruise ship to do any damage. Clearly I was mistaken and I wanted other parents to be wise to it too. I cannot be the only one who didn't know how easy it was.

 

We were on the Magic June 17 and were also very surprised at all of the drunk teenagers we saw!! My dd who turned 16 on the cruise was quite frustrated and hated the teen club because of such. But she turned out to have a great time hanging with mom!

[mumofsons]

We just got back from the Spirit and had our 16 year old with us. Now this is the first time in a long time that we shared our room with him as his 18 year old brother (and the more responsible one:rolleyes: wasn't with us)

Now I will say I thought to myself - just tell Micheal to lock the mini-bar but I thought I had done a good job lecturing him and everynight he would come back to the room and tell us how drunk some of the kids were in the kids club and they would call their parents and they would be sent out of the club. Ok to make a long story short - we never got a call from the kid's club but one afternoon I thought I would grab a diet coke and realized that there were two vodka's a rum and a beer missing. hmmmm - So I quietly (not) asked him about it and at first he denied it and then - said that he mixed the vodka and rum with lemonaide - then he said we should dispute the beer since he didn't drink it. Well I made him pay for his bar bill - and the minibar was locked after that. He is very much like the OP's kids - well liked, A/B student and athlete - and he knew before he took the stuff that he would probably get caught but I think he wanted to see how far he could push it.

We all learned a lession.

Great job to the OP - it isn't easy raising kids and three teenaged boys wow!

[chechas]

To the OP - you need to instill in your boys the old adage that nothing good ever happens after midnight (Club O2 isn't open that late!) .

 

 

Just a heads up that I was on the Dream last summer with my then 16 yr old daughter and indeed Club O2 had activities until 1am every night (was listed in the Club O2 funtimes) and a couple of nights they had special activites that ran even later. She had a midnight curfew but just wanted to correct your statement that it is not open that late.

[AngAndBoys]

I knew the flamers would come out and that's ok. Everyone has a different style of parenting, that's all. My style has never been hard and heavy. I firmly believe that if kids do it just because I said so, or out of nothing more than fear of harsh consequences, they don't LEARN...and they end up in trouble when it's time to make real decisions in the real world. I have this hope that we can get all the dumb stuff out of the way early on. I talk my kids to death about stuff, and there is obviously some stuff that I will not tolerate. A C will get you grounded around here until it's a B...but only because they are all quite capable of doing it. We have random drug tests here. I'm not messing around with THAT at all. So far, negative on that. If you drop a curse word here, I will just tell you to show some respect for your mother and leave it at that...or ignore it entirely. I don't address every single issue with them, only the big ones.

 

They ARE learning. My middle son's very good friend for years started going the wrong way last year. It was VERY sad to watch. I know the boy's mother (she's decent), I know and love HIM. I talked with my son quite a lot at that time about peer pressure and how things start to go bad for kids when they are hanging with the wrong crowd. I ended up deciding that I wasn't going to ban the child, just discourage the friendship and watch carefully. I also pretty much forced my son to play baseball last season because he seemed to have too much time on his hands for "hanging out". To make a long story even longer, without me forcing it, but just guiding him along a little bit, my son made the decision to stop hanging out with the friend. So, to those of you who want to know why I let the rope out, that is why...because I think it's really good for a kid to get those opportunities to do it right and feel like THEY decided.

 

It's not out of pure laziness or stupidity. It is SO much easier to just tell them to get their butts in bed and forget it, isn't it? A lot less to worry about anyway. Parenting IS hard, no matter which way you decide is your style. I'm not terribly embarassed about what happened. I screwed up, for sure. It happens. I recovered OK and revised the new rules, lesson learned.

 

Lest you get the idea that I'm super-mom, I'm not. There are some days y'all, when I just want to close my eyes, clamp my hands over my ears and scream la-la-la-la...somebody come get me when they all move out! Most of the time though, I just try to do the best I can. There are areas where I definitely need to improve. I'm definitely guilty of allowing them to nag me into doing things that I rather them not. I must be strong!

 

As for why I let the 12 year old hang with the older boys...because they told me they were watching a movie and I believed them, simple as that. I didn't see anything wrong with him watching a movie with them across the hall while I slept. Same as at home when the older boys have friends over, you know? My 12 year old IS around older kids all the time. He has 2 older brothers. THe only thing I can do about it, that I know of, is harp on his older brother that he is watching and learning. Consider what he saw happen to his older brother that night. He learned.

 

As for the 1AM time frame...that IS when the 12-14 and 15-17 clubs let out. We had long discussions about what they would be doing if I let them stay out,etc. They swore that they were mature and would behave themselves. Ha! They said that all the kids would be mostly hanging around the lido eating pizza and talking. It seemed ok. It's funny, in retrospect, because they are certainly NOT allowed to stay out that late at home. I was actually quite thrilled and relieved when they checked in and told me they were just going to the cabin! Shows you what I know!

 

Oh, last things...someone asked if Carnival banned us. No. If I pointed out to my son that we could have got thrown off the ship for his behavior...absolutely! If they get their own cabins for the upcoming cruises...the one in December is me, me, and only me. Adult time. I am going to let me hair down and act very un-Momlike. The one after that, in March is with them and we are all staying in the same cabin for that one. I came thisclose to cancelling it that night...but then I calmed down.

[Crazy4Koko]

Dear Mother of the Year:

 

 

Thank you for sharing this award with 100's of 1000's of Moms everywhere!! God Bless you, God Bless you!!!! (we should have coffee sometime!!..or We call it 'therapy' around here..and it isn't usually coffee!!)

 

( and for convincing me there's NO WAY IN He** that I will put my girls up in a separate cabin..EVER!! They wouldn't have found the bodies, I swear!) I'll take getting woken up at curfew by them coming in over your nightmare every day and TWICE on Sunday!!

 

 

I suppose one benefit of cruising during the school year gives 'our' kids less opportunity to find trouble..but I'm not riskin it... !

[lidodeckbound]

Thanks for your posts and your honesty OP! Live and learn!

[halos]

Parenting IS hard, no matter which way you decide is your style. I'm not terribly embarassed about what happened. I screwed up, for sure. It happens. I recovered OK and revised the new rules, lesson learned.

 

.

 

It is the hardest job ever and kids don't come with instructions. You just do your best to do this one day at a time and pray that your child's mistakes are all small ones that aren't catastrophic. And you both learn together.

 

I must say after reading your story, my first thought was, 'thank God I have girls!' :p and then "thank God they're adults now!"

[hansolosmom]

Totally off topic: But Star Wars fan or (and) a Harrison Ford fan?

 

Yes to both :D

[Me76]

Another Thank You OP for your story!

 

DH and I have taken our two youngest on 2 cruises so far, 8 & 10, now 9 & 11, and so far, they have been good (knock on wood). But, we have the same rules already that most people have already mentioned on here. Both, so far, are kids that more scared of getting in trouble, than the peer-pressure of friends. But, that is already changing with the 11 year old. As we tell them, when you start those pre-teen and teen years, your brain stops working fully, and will usually start again in your mid-late 20's. :D

 

We have 4 older kids, 21 & 21 (his & hers), 18, and 16. Fully aware of all the crap that kids can and will do! I worry because the 16 year old is going, and she is very impressionable. Hopefully not with drinking and stuff, she's (hopefully) seen enough wrong-doing by my brother (her uncle) to learn that it leads to very bad things! (He's in prison now for stealing a cop car and taking it for a 50 mile joy-ride). But, she "falls in love" easily, and does stupid things (I could see her in the lifeboat). This will be her first cruise, so it will be a learning experience for all of us. I am going to make her sign a contract of rules before we go. And, we have an 8-hour drive down to drill them into her head! ;)

[oncruisecontrol]

Yes to both :D

Me too!

[serene56]

I

 

Oh, last things...someone asked if Carnival banned us. No. If I pointed out to my son that we could have got thrown off the ship for his behavior...absolutely! If they get their own cabins for the upcoming cruises...the one in December is me, me, and only me. n.

 

 

that woulda been me-- (and please, I was NOT flaming you as I dont do that.

Although on the boards forever-- I do still learn stuff)

 

did you sign and papers?

 

 

\were you already booked on the upcoming March cruise?