The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

[maurick]

Why are your teens going till 1am and 3am? Are the teen clubs open that late? I never would permit my kids to go to other people's cabins or ours. Unless we were in our cabin at the time.

You did the right thing in the end. But. I would never go to sleep till my kids were in for the night.

[MsTabbyKats]

I must be "a little slow" today.

 

The OP starts out by admitting her kids aren't angels...and are always in trouble at school.

 

So...if she knows they get into trouble....then why are they allowed out until "anytime" (1 AM is not late enough?) by themselves?

 

Every person on that ship is just lucky a fire didn't break out.

 

As far as "not allowing them into anyone else's cabin"....if you're not with them....how do you know that they aren't in anyone else's cabin?

 

And of course OP believes that "another kid" had the cigarette. Of course, her kids would never do that.

 

There are kids who "would never do that". These boys aren't those kids...and allowing them so much freedom is irresponsible.

 

Your kids need better supervision at sea....or do us a favor...and keep them on land until they learn that starting a fire could end up with thousand of deaths.

[clarkrock7]

You learned an important lesson, and handled it well.

 

Lol, yeah she learned that kids are kids and they do stupid stuff sometimes, big deal.

 

Her kids are the ones that really learned the lesson about responsibility and why mom has to make rules and how lucky they are to get to go on a cool vacation and have a mom who gives them some space.

 

I think you sound like a great mom. Your kids will be far better off having gone through this experience than if you mollycoddled them all the time and made absolutely sure nothing like this could ever happen.

[askimdog]

It is so personal how you raise your kids. I would never sleep if I had a child under 18 up and about outside my cabin, let alone give kids under 18 a personal cabin? I also cannot understand why anyone under 18 needs to be outside their cabin after 11pm????

 

We follow the bedtime is the same at home or cruise rule, so my 8 year old is down at 8:30, 9 at the latest ( and so are we, though the wife has been known to sneak out for a late show on occassion).

 

Seems like the incident got out of hand,,,other kids in the room, booze, smoking etc.. kids make mistakes, but this was atleast 3-fold making it a sure mark of un-trust and non-maturity...to me those kids would be glued to me and a strict curfew the rest of the cruise. But to each their own.

 

I would be so steaming mad if those were my kids, they should be happy to have a parent as forgiving as you.

[MsTabbyKats]

Lol, yeah she learned that kids are kids and they do stupid stuff sometimes, big deal.

 

Her kids are the ones that really learned the lesson about responsibility and why mom has to make rules and how lucky they are to get to go on a cool vacation and have a mom who gives them some space.

 

I think you sound like a great mom. Your kids will be far better off having gone through this experience than if you mollycoddled them all the time and made absolutely sure nothing like this could ever happen.

 

So, if the fire became "major"....it wouldn't have been a big deal?

 

I wouldn't want my life jeopardized because a parent is incapable of controlling her kids.

 

IMHO...all kids involved (and their families) should have been put off the ship at the next port

 

Sometimes the parents need a wake-up call about their kids......

[H82seaUgo]

Your kids screwed up (as kids do) and it isn't always the fault of the parent. I bet even if you had the same rules the next time around, your kids wouldn't invite anyone back to their room. Can you imagine how scared they must of been when security came?

 

incidents and stories like this are why the cruise lines evolve their rules when exceptions are made, and parental duties go out the window.

 

it's a damned good thing whatever was burning did not spread.

 

and it's a good thing the parents in the thread, "is it ok to leave my 12 year old in the cabin with my 6 year old alone while i get plastered" was not in the very next room.

[TerReuv]

So, if the fire became "major"....it wouldn't have been a big deal?

 

I wouldn't want my life jeopardized because a parent is incapable of controlling her kids.

 

IMHO...all kids involved (and their families) should have been put off the ship at the next port

 

Sometimes the parents need a wake-up call about their kids......

 

Amazing that it took 4 pages before the flamers came out! If you will read the OP's first post she specifically stated the kind of trouble her kids got in while at school - nothing major or even serious enough, just a lot of talking, etc. The OP seems to be very aware of how her kids act.

 

You, on the other hand, seem like one of those people who have no kids and think that if a kid ever misbehaves they are a terrible kid. Well, guess what - kids misbehave. Even the best ones will have a time that they will test you and see how far they can push. It is part of being a kid. So, you either have no kids or you have a kid that you believe is perfect and would never do something like that. All kids have stupid moments (kust like a lot of adults), you just have to make sure they learn from those moments like the OP has made her learn. That is the way to be a good parent.

 

Also, if you had read all the posts, you would have read where the OP said that for all she knows it could have been her kid with the cig.

 

Be aware that the kids "who would never do that" are usually they ones who will want to try because they never have! Welcome to the real world of parenting.

[FlaGrl4Evr]

You shared an experience that may help other posters sailing with their children. A great learning experience for all and one I'm sure that your kids will never repeat.

 

You sound like a great responsible Mom for handling it in the way that you did.

 

Thanks for sharing.

Hope the rest of your cruise went great.

 

:):)

[MsTabbyKats]

Amazing that it took 4 pages before the flamers came out! If you will read the OP's first post she specifically stated the kind of trouble her kids got in while at school - nothing major or even serious enough, just a lot of talking, etc. The OP seems to be very aware of how her kids act.

 

You, on the other hand, seem like one of those people who have no kids and think that if a kid ever misbehaves they are a terrible kid. Well, guess what - kids misbehave. Even the best ones will have a time that they will test you and see how far they can push. It is part of being a kid. So, you either have no kids or you have a kid that you believe is perfect and would never do something like that. All kids have stupid moments (kust like a lot of adults), you just have to make sure they learn from those moments like the OP has made her learn. That is the way to be a good parent.

 

Also, if you had read all the posts, you would have read where the OP said that for all she knows it could have been her kid with the cig.

 

Be aware that the kids "who would never do that" are usually they ones who will want to try because they never have! Welcome to the real world of parenting.

 

Yes...I have a kid. My kid is now 25. He's been financially independent since 21....and has owned his own home since he was 22. And he did this without ever getting into trouble or causing me grief.

 

Maybe I have "a gem". Or maybe I'm a good mother. Or, maybe he learned how to behave by example.

 

Please explain....

How is it responsible parenting to allow a 16 year old to be in charge of a 14 year old and a 12 year old....until "they are ready to end the night"?

 

I don't think I'm a conservative person at all....just realistic.

 

The OP is lucky that she only lost $250....and not 250 lives were lost.

[crusinfamof4]

Wow, I def had to take a deep breath reading your post! You took it all in stride and didn't let it ruin your vacation, I think you did a great job with the boys!

 

We are going on our 3rd cruise in Nov, our 13 & 16 yr old boys will be getting their own cabin to themselves, right across the hall from us. Our youngest is talkng about pulling an all nighter already, but our oldest says he needs his sleep. I will be up I am sure when they are, I am a nightowl too. After reading your post, I will def make sure I keep a close, close eye on them.

[RuthlessBoss]

I must be "a little slow" today.

 

The OP starts out by admitting her kids aren't angels...and are always in trouble at school.

 

So...if she knows they get into trouble....then why are they allowed out until "anytime" (1 AM is not late enough?) by themselves?

 

Every person on that ship is just lucky a fire didn't break out.

 

As far as "not allowing them into anyone else's cabin"....if you're not with them....how do you know that they aren't in anyone else's cabin?

 

And of course OP believes that "another kid" had the cigarette. Of course, her kids would never do that.

 

There are kids who "would never do that". These boys aren't those kids...and allowing them so much freedom is irresponsible.

 

Your kids need better supervision at sea....or do us a favor...and keep them on land until they learn that starting a fire could end up with thousand of deaths.

 

Yes...I have a kid. My kid is now 25. He's been financially independent since 21....and has owned his own home since he was 22. And he did this without ever getting into trouble or causing me grief.

 

Maybe I have "a gem". Or maybe I'm a good mother. Or, maybe he learned how to behave by example.

 

Please explain....

How is it responsible parenting to allow a 16 year old to be in charge of a 14 year old and a 12 year old....until "they are ready to end the night"?

 

I don't think I'm a conservative person at all....just realistic.

 

The OP is lucky that she only lost $250....and not 250 lives were lost.

Wow, she's on a roll this morning.

[Ryancoke]

Well it sounds like everyone learned a lesson at a reasonable price. Mostly positive lessons except for the guests who cut out and got away with it.

[luddite]

I didn't know that the cruise line would let people that young have their own cabin.

 

Huh. Something new to learn every day.

[All4fun&fun4all]

Thank you OP for putting yourself out there and sharing your story.

 

I am a mother of 2 teenage boys and I totally feel your pain. Mine are 19 and 17 years old and are responsible for every, single, grey hair on my head.

 

I have yet to take either of them on a cruise simply because of my fears relating to how they may behave/misbehave. I keep telling them that once they earn a cruise then I will take them.

 

I think my oldest has earned his cruise now, since he has been on his own since age 18 and in the military. Even with that being said, after reading your story, and since I will be paying for his cruise, I will be sure to get an adjoining room and will leave the door open. Or better yet, make him share the room with DBF and I. :p

 

Thanks again for sharing. Ignore the flames. You are doing a public service by telling the folks here what could potentially happen even with the sweetest of angel children. All children misbehave at some point or another and those parents who say that their children never got into trouble...that's probably true. But some children are just better at never getting caught doing something wrong.

[Room Service!]

OP - I see you have two cruises lined up. Will the boys be in their own cabin?

BTW - I see nothing wrong with how you handled things.

[Ryancoke]

I didn't know that the cruise line would let people that young have their own cabin.

 

Huh. Something new to learn every day.

 

Yeah. So can someone tell us what the minimum age the oldest cabin occupant must be? I thought it would be 18 as was the case on another line we were on.

[sparks1093]

Yeah. So can someone tell us what the minimum age the oldest cabin occupant must be? I thought it would be 18 as was the case on another line we were on.

 

From CCL's faq:

"Minors can be booked in separate staterooms, by up to 3 staterooms in between the minor stateroom and the Parents/Grandparents stateroom." (That's for minors 13-17).

[JokerABC]

The OP is lucky that she only lost $250....and not 250 lives were lost.

 

 

Are you one of those people that complain about everything on the cruise?

 

Actually, it sounds like you are more like the person who "lives" on cruisecritic all day and make a big deal about things in every thread.

[helen haywood]

My sweet Tabby Cat says she is filing a suit for defamation of character.

[libtrek]

So appreciate the OP "fessing up" and the story gave DH and I a good laugh. After 4 kids, we learned to never say never. This story will be brought up at family events for years. Go away flamers. I'm always very suspicious of parents who claim to have the perfect kid. Hah, the kid was just very sneaky or the parents very blind. As far as those here claiming "a fire could have taken lives, yada, yada". It was a cigarette that I'm sure was stomped out quickly. Not like a small child playing with a lighter or leaving a lit candle. Lighten up! I will admit I wasn't aware of the underage drinking going on so easily. Plan to ask my grands what it was like on the cruise we took them on.

[susie8862]

So appreciate the OP "fessing up" and the story gave DH and I a good laugh. After 4 kids, we learned to never say never. This story will be brought up at family events for years. Go away flamers. I'm always very suspicious of parents who claim to have the perfect kid. Hah, the kid was just very sneaky or the parents very blind. As far as those here claiming "a fire could have taken lives, yada, yada". It was a cigarette that I'm sure was stomped out quickly. Not like a small child playing with a lighter or leaving a lit candle. Lighten up! I will admit I wasn't aware of the underage drinking going on so easily. Plan to ask my grands what it was like on the cruise we took them on.

Bravo poster. I could not have said it better myself. After 3 kids (all grown up and married) ..I sit back and watch and wait for THEIR children to grow up. Pay back is a bitch...lol

Any mother that says their child was perfect and she is the perfect mother, to me, is deaf, dumb and blind. :eek:

[cruiserNC]

Great Job Mom(OP)!!!

[Kato27]

I agree that the OP handled the situation well.

Everyone handles there children, the way they think is best.

I find that Mrs. tabbycats response is Harsh, to say the least, maybe someone pissed in her cornflakes this morning?

 

But i will say this, to all those who praised the OP on the way she handled the situation ( including myself)and want to make her mother of the year....i just wonder what our replies would have been if there actually had been a fire.

[TerReuv]

I'm always very suspicious of parents who claim to have the perfect kid. Hah, the kid was just very sneaky or the parents very blind.

 

Exactly! No child is perfect no matter what any parent says. There are still things that my parents don't know that I did and that I won't ever confess to and I am 50! Also, if you have never had a 16 year old in charge of younger kids, then I guess you never had a babysitter for your kids either.

 

I am very impressed bythe OP not only for how she handled the situation, but also for her honesty about her kids. Yes we would all like to think our kids are perfect but they aren't. They are going to mess up but who knows when or how. She gave them responsibility and her trust and they messed up and they paid for it. What a great way to learn a lesson.

 

As for MsTabbyCats - you are no where near realistic if you think your child has never done anything wrong. Maybe you need to add the words.... that I know of!

[Warm Breezes]

So, I just got off Magic today. I took my 3 darling sons, 12, 14, and 16. Let me preface the story by telling a few things. My kids are no angels. They are boys. They act like boys. Nor are they hooligans. They are pretty much A/B honor students, but I am on a first name basis with the assistant principal at both the junior high and the high school. Please understand, these people actually LIKE my kids, they are really NOT horrid, the trouble is usually talking too much in class. It is NEVER them being disrespectful to adults or anything like that. So, mine are smart, very social, athletic, what I would consider "normal" teenagers.

 

We have been on 6 cruises together, 4 of which I took them by myself. We went on 3 this year...so we're all veterans and I have my rules, which I've been easing up on a little over the years, because they've done so well with the extra freedom on a cruise ship. So, this time, instead of making them come in by 1, I told them they could stay out later but they had to check in by 1 and tell me exactly where they were going to be. Still wasn't allowing them to go to anyone else's cabin because that makes me nervous.

 

So, 2nd night of the cruise, they check in and tell me they're having a few friends in the cabin to watch a movie. Cool, no problemo. I remind them that the walls are VERY thin and they better be quiet about it or else.

 

At 2:30 my 12 and 14 year old are shaking me awake telling me I have to get up right now because security has to talk to me about thier cabin (the 2 older boys were across the hall from me). So, I jump up half asleep and half dressed to accept my mother of the year award.

 

Security is in there, 4 of them, taking pictures of the damage and letting my 16 year old have it. He, thank God, is in full "yessir" "nosir" mode. Apparently, one of the new friends that came over brought beer. I found out how 16 year olds get this, the 21 year old siblings buy it fot them. So, he had 3 beers in there, which I guess the little turds shared. But the real problem started when this kid decided to have a cigarette in the cabin. He lit it in there and set off the alarm. When the alarm went off, the other kids scattered. The kid with the cigarette knocked one of the light fixtures down trying to run out and then dropped the cigarette on the carpet!

 

So, we have broken light fixture, burnt carpet, cabin smoking rules broken. Then I had to sign a form saying I would do a better job of supervising my children. It was fabulous, really. I did a better job right then and there, I had the 2 older ones strip their beds and make pallets in my room to sleep on. It was a good lesson for all of us I suppose.

 

They fixed the light fixture and actually only charged me the $250 cleaning fee for smoking in the cabin. It didn't ruin our cruise or anything. My kids were all actually better behaved than usual after that. It gave them a pretty good scare, so all in all, not so bad...and let me know they're not quite ready for more responsibility just yet. Though, my oldest son will be giving me half his paychecks till the money is paid back...so I guess he got a little more responsibility and adult fun after all. :D

 

Oh, funniest thing ever...the next night, my 12 year old and I went to dinner alone, so we're at a 2 top with an older couple seated about 4 inches away from us at their own 2 top. Naturally conversation ensues...so they find out I'm alone with my 3 teenage boys...and they ask if I heard about the poor lady who got woke up by security when her kids set off the fire alarm!! Good news travels fast!

 

I have to say that this is exactly why we have the rule no one allowed in their room and they are not allowed to go into anyone elses room. I think you acted appropriately after the fact by taking responsibility for their actions and then making them face the consequences of their actions. You are good parent when the discipline is appropriate consequences that are followed through for wrong actions.