The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

[AngAndBoys]

I just asked my teens and according to them :rolleyes: lol they didn't see any teens drinking on the conquest. I'm sure it happens, though...

 

Well, since we bonded and he was busted out anyway, my oldest gave me an earful on all the ways alcohol can be got. One of the scariest things he told me is that some kids said they just went up to the bar and a bunch of them distracted the bartender while one reached right over and grabbed a bottle!:eek:

 

I was like, OK, do you realize that's a whole new realm called THEFT?!! And that they kick you right off the boat for that sort of thing? And that there are cameras everwhere? OMG! Kids are seriously lacking in sense sometimes. He, of course, assured me that he would never do any such thing.:rolleyes:

[t1adams]

I too think you did a great job handling it. The first step to being a responsible parent is realizing ANYTHING can happen to our kids. I speak first hand as my oldest son was very ADHD (could manage just fine in school; no conduct issues EVER....just the ADD set in during controlled environments). But once home, he was WILD. He scored off the charts in the "impulsiveness" category. He would dive into three feet of water scaring the begeebies out of me and I'd scream telling him he needs to meet kids who are paralized from the neck down from doing stupid stunts like he would do. Well, he was also into practical jokes and would search on Youtube for the latest and greatest jokes. Something about ADHD they'd get somewhat of a natural "high" on scaring people. Anyhow, I hate to say this here, but I'm going to say it just in the event there's a parent reading who has an ADHD teenage boy. His last joke killed him. Trying to pull a prank on his little sister but she didn't walk by right when he thought she would. He would be 17 now. She's about to be 14 now. She was 10 then and he was 14. I also have a younger son who is going to be 10 in jsut a couple weeks. He thankfully has NO signs of ADHD nor is he impulsive or hyper in any way. Wrapping this into the "cruise world," if you have an ADHD son (it's been shown that boys who are adhd have more of the impulsive tendancies than girls), be careful if giving them independance on a cruise. It might be something similar to the mom whos son climbed over the railing to get into a life boat. I could soooo see my son doing that. He was smart, all advanced classes. He was very athletic, starting pitcher on his travel ball team. He was a good kid. Never into any intentional trouble. Funniest kid ever. But he just couldn't think before making dangerous choices.

 

Please know I am not saying this because I want a bunch of "I'm sorry's." I know it's a sad story. But if ONE adhd parent could learn something from this experience, it's worth it for me to share this story. Even non-adhd boys are naturally impulsive enough (case in point in OP's story). Imagine how much scarier it could be if they had adhd. No worries, I'm not now some "crazed overprotective parent." I know neither I nor my dh (his dad) had anything to do with his choice. But we learned that ANYthing CAN happen. We just have to be cautious of our kids. I let my dd go with her new friends on the ship, but we check in with one another every hour and midnight is her curphew. I also roam around and peek in every now and then on what she's doing. The rest we have to put in God's hands. After all, we're only human.:) We're now into the third year without him. He would want us to go on and live and not live in paranoia. He would want us to live being the best parents we can be, keeping Christ in our hearts and trusting Him, and raising his little sister and brother to be the best Christians they can be. All we can do is teach them to follow their Creator and listen to Him. The rest we have to put in His Mighty Hands. This is what works for us anyway in our new life.

 

Thank you OP for being so bold to tell your story so others can learn.

[spleenstomper]

And I'm sure there is plenty of opportunity from parents like me who have Bon voyage liquor in the room (and the parents who have can beer in the room). Next cruise I'm going to have to think harder about locking the BV liquor up.

[DISNEY1975]

Well, since we bonded and he was busted out anyway, my oldest gave me an earful on all the ways alcohol can be got. One of the scariest things he told me is that some kids said they just went up to the bar and a bunch of them distracted the bartender while one reached right over and grabbed a bottle!:eek:

 

I was like, OK, do you realize that's a whole new realm called THEFT?!! And that they kick you right off the boat for that sort of thing? And that there are cameras everwhere? OMG! Kids are seriously lacking in sense sometimes. He, of course, assured me that he would never do any such thing.:rolleyes:

 

We were on NCL last month. My then 17 year old (who looks much older as I mentioned in an earlier post) was offered "a drink" at least 5x per day, mostly at the pool area, but occasionally in one of the lounges where they had nightly entertainment (game shows). One the last night, when asked if he would like a drink he said "Yes", ordered and was given a beer. He gave it to hubby, but he and I wanted to see if when they actually swiped the card he would still be given the beer. He was.

[babyher]

And I'm sure there is plenty of opportunity from parents like me who have Bon voyage liquor in the room (and the parents who have can beer in the room). Next cruise I'm going to have to think harder about locking the BV liquor up.

 

 

 

BINGO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

People always think kids have to pull some kind of con , or get offered liqour by some deviant trying to get them drunk and take advantage of them. Many times it is right in front of them..

 

 

I grew up in the 60s and 70s when it seemed like everyone drank and smoked. My parents were very social people who entertained and went out a lot like many people did back then. We had a better stocked bar in our basement /family room than most cruise ships. And it was right there where we watched TV . My dad alwasy had a pack of Marlboros in the end table drawer near his chair. My mom alwasy had a pack of Benson and Hedges in one of those change purse cigarette cases with the strap to hold the Cricket lighter (remember those :) ) on the kitchen counter near the stove. my older sisters always had a pack in their purses which they left right by the door when they came in .

 

Now how on earth could a 12 yr old get his hands on booze and smokes ? :(

[babyher]

We were on NCL last month. My then 17 year old (who looks much older as I mentioned in an earlier post) was offered "a drink" at least 5x per day, mostly at the pool area, but occasionally in one of the lounges where they had nightly entertainment (game shows). One the last night, when asked if he would like a drink he said "Yes", ordered and was given a beer. He gave it to hubby, but he and I wanted to see if when they actually swiped the card he would still be given the beer. He was.

 

 

 

my wife and I were laying out by the pool and had ordered a couple drinks, so the waiter already had my card number. A while later my DD (18 , but like your son , looks older) joins us and sits. My wife gets up to go to the cabin to change and DD lays on her lounger . I was laying down and between the noise of everyone walking around and the music on the ship didn't realize the waiter had come by. He spotted the two empty glasses and asked DD if we wanted 2 more . DD who is responsible for most of my grey hairs :) said sure. And he brought them !!! no questions asked , just put them on the card . After he brought them DD nudged me and said "Here I got ya another drink" :)

[Spring1onu]

I think you, mom, deserve a medal. First off you took your kids on a vacation and gave them rules to follow but tried to let them have some freedom too. When they got into trouble you didn't try to blame the problems on someone else. Too many parents nowadays think their kids are angels who can do no wrong. These parents let their kids get away with all sorts of bad behaviour- I think the parents are not interested in actually being the parent; they want to be the kids friend. Also your son is going have to work to pay off his debt. He will always remember this and it will remind him of the consequences to certain actions: a great lesson to learn! When our son was about 18 he had a minor car accident in our car. He freely admitted it was his fault as he had been distracted. No one was injured but there was lots of damage to the car. Insurance covered most of it except the deductible which was $1000.00. He had to pay that - took him many months, paying a bit each pay, but he is a better, more responsible person for it.

Again, Mom you deserve a medal!!

 

Very well said - I agree. It was an unfortunate incident but a lesson learned for all. Kudos to you for holding your kids accountable.

[natdalton]

One good thing though, I did not have to listen to any more begging and pleading for more priveledges from any of them for the rest of the cruise. They definitely got the lesson and understood why I make rules sometimes.

 

and for me it would be worth $250 for the begging/nagging to stop!

[AngAndBoys]

I too think you did a great job handling it. The first step to being a responsible parent is realizing ANYTHING can happen to our kids. I speak first hand as my oldest son was very ADHD (could manage just fine in school; no conduct issues EVER....just the ADD set in during controlled environments). But once home, he was WILD. He scored off the charts in the "impulsiveness" category. He would dive into three feet of water scaring the begeebies out of me and I'd scream telling him he needs to meet kids who are paralized from the neck down from doing stupid stunts like he would do. Well, he was also into practical jokes and would search on Youtube for the latest and greatest jokes. Something about ADHD they'd get somewhat of a natural "high" on scaring people. Anyhow, I hate to say this here, but I'm going to say it just in the event there's a parent reading who has an ADHD teenage boy. His last joke killed him. Trying to pull a prank on his little sister but she didn't walk by right when he thought she would. He would be 17 now. She's about to be 14 now. She was 10 then and he was 14. I also have a younger son who is going to be 10 in jsut a couple weeks. He thankfully has NO signs of ADHD nor is he impulsive or hyper in any way. Wrapping this into the "cruise world," if you have an ADHD son (it's been shown that boys who are adhd have more of the impulsive tendancies than girls), be careful if giving them independance on a cruise. It might be something similar to the mom whos son climbed over the railing to get into a life boat. I could soooo see my son doing that. He was smart, all advanced classes. He was very athletic, starting pitcher on his travel ball team. He was a good kid. Never into any intentional trouble. Funniest kid ever. But he just couldn't think before making dangerous choices.

 

Please know I am not saying this because I want a bunch of "I'm sorry's." I know it's a sad story. But if ONE adhd parent could learn something from this experience, it's worth it for me to share this story. Even non-adhd boys are naturally impulsive enough (case in point in OP's story). Imagine how much scarier it could be if they had adhd. No worries, I'm not now some "crazed overprotective parent." I know neither I nor my dh (his dad) had anything to do with his choice. But we learned that ANYthing CAN happen. We just have to be cautious of our kids. I let my dd go with her new friends on the ship, but we check in with one another every hour and midnight is her curphew. I also roam around and peek in every now and then on what she's doing. The rest we have to put in God's hands. After all, we're only human.:) We're now into the third year without him. He would want us to go on and live and not live in paranoia. He would want us to live being the best parents we can be, keeping Christ in our hearts and trusting Him, and raising his little sister and brother to be the best Christians they can be. All we can do is teach them to follow their Creator and listen to Him. The rest we have to put in His Mighty Hands. This is what works for us anyway in our new life.

 

Thank you OP for being so bold to tell your story so others can learn.

 

I am sorry that you lost your son...and I applaud you for being brave enough to talk about it so others can learn. I too worry that one of mine will pull the ultimate stupid kid trick and wind up gone just like that. I have to consciously tamp all those scary thoughts down and let go sometimes or my poor kids would be locked up in their rooms for all eternity. I consider the letting go part to be the hardest part of parenting. I cannot imagine how much harder it must be for you now. Bless you, dear lady.

[natdalton]

Gotta love boys!

 

I took my two on a cruise years ago. They were 13 and 16 at the time (13 yo looked about 16, to the point where he rented a jetski in Bermuda and they never questioned his age)

 

The boys were suppose to be at the teen club or whatever they called it. Apparently they had a scavenger hunt activity. I coincidentally was walking around the promanade deck when I hear "Hi Mom"! I looked around, didnt see anyone, then hear the voice again. "Mom, Im up here" I look up to see my darling 13 year old dangling from a lifeboat! I dont know why, but I yelled at him to get down immediately. Thinking it over many times since, I should have called security or told him to stay there and I would get help. Anyway, my son survived and claimed he was looking for something for the hunt, which his 16 yo brother, my other darling son, told him was in the lifeboat. He climbed on the railing of the ship, then somehow pulled himself up into the the lifeboat.

 

I am happy to say that the older one will be graduating from college next spring and the younger one just got a basketball scholarship to a Div 1 University, where he will attend in the fall!!! (And yes, hes 18, looking about 28!!!)

 

OMG, my daughter might never leave my side on a cruise ship again after reading this!!! made my heart sink when i read it!

[AngAndBoys]

and for me it would be worth $250 for the begging/nagging to stop!

 

Between you, me, and the lamp post...it was the best $250 I ever spent. :D

[babyher]

I am sorry that you lost your son...and I applaud you for being brave enough to talk about it so others can learn. I too worry that one of mine will pull the ultimate stupid kid trick and wind up gone just like that. I have to consciously tamp all those scary thoughts down and let go sometimes or my poor kids would be locked up in their rooms for all eternity. I consider the letting go part to be the hardest part of parenting. I cannot imagine how much harder it must be for you now. Bless you, dear lady.

 

 

It is hard to let go. You know you have to and you can't keep them in a box all their lives , and you know its the bumps and bruises and heartbreaks along the way that made you the adult you are today. But you hope your own kids won't have to go through it, which of course is impossible.

[forwardcabin]

...and we were just thinking about taking our teenaged grandkids on a New Years Eve cruise -- what were WE thinking? Glad we haven't told them yet...maybe we'll just make it a cruise for the two of us. These are the same kids we took on a 7-day spring break cruise two years ago. They haven't yet told us of THEIR adventures on THAT cruise--DGS didn't come in until 3:00am one night! OMG!

[babyher]

...and we were just thinking about taking our teenaged grandkids on a New Years Eve cruise -- what were WE thinking? Glad we haven't told them yet...maybe we'll just make it a cruise for the two of us. These are the same kids we took on a 7-day spring break cruise two years ago. They haven't yet told us of THEIR adventures on THAT cruise--DGS didn't come in until 3:00am one night! OMG!

 

 

I am going to be 50 in November, my mother is 83. There are things I did as a teenager she STILL hasn't found out yet *LOL*

[jasbo49]

Ang: Frightening and inspirational at the same time. We're going to cruise with our 21- and 24-year-old boys in September. You might think they're "all grown up" by then, but ... not always.

 

I hope we will have your patience and clear head if something ugly pops up.

 

Jim

[Cruisin'Doc]

OP - thank you for sharing your story, especially knowing you were leaving yourself open to criticism. Kids will be kids will be kids, no matter how wonderful one thinks they are, no matter how smart, handsome, sociable, witty, withdrawn, etc. I truly applaude you for taking responsibility for your children - not just there on the ship by making them face their consequences, but also by not saying, "My kid did NOT...someone else did..." Just because your kid is a kid - doesn't make you a bad parent - just makes you a parent!

[babyher]

Between you, me, and the lamp post...it was the best $250 I ever spent. :D

 

 

Whenever my kids got into a scrape (and sometimes still do) I lstep back and say "No one is dead, or seriously injured. There's no criminal charges, court date, bail hearing, It's "fixable trouble" . You take care of it , kick butt , thank God and move on" *LOL*

[patrick82]

Next cruise I think I'm going to do hourly breathalizers. You can buy them.

 

Side note about breathalyzers: once the boys hit college, having a way to quantify how drunk they are instantly becomes a competition. I had one, and the nights I brought it out never ended well.

[AngAndBoys]

Side note about breathalyzers: once the boys hit college, having a way to quantify how drunk they are instantly becomes a competition. I had one, and the nights I brought it out never ended well.

 

SMH! I got a long way to go to get these kids raised, huh?

[spleenstomper]

Side note about breathalyzers: once the boys hit college, having a way to quantify how drunk they are instantly becomes a competition. I had one, and the nights I brought it out never ended well.

 

Apparently my prefrontal lobe is fully developed as I can no longer think like a kid. Thanks for reminding me :D

[Anthomaniac]

Last night we were reading through it together, and got to the bit about not allowing others in their cabin (they will be next door to us), not being allowed on any other cabin decks than ours, and not being allowed to go in any cabin other than theirs or ours, I had wails of "why? that's unfair, it's our cabin so we can have friends in there if we want

 

my response to that would be... It's not YOUR cabin, it's OUR cabin, we are allowing you to sleep in it, if you prefer we can all sleep in the same cabin, which means your curfew is now whatever time WE go to sleep.

[wranglerguy]

I have always said that underage drinking is out of control on cruise ships. On our last cruise I witnessed a waiter ID a girl. She said she didn't have it. The just said next time and served her. She was like 18 if that.

 

 

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

OIIIO

[mavis2222]

I didn't even persue it with them and neither did security. Problem number one was that said parents didn't even speak English. Plus it would have been a whole he said/he said thing. I had no proof of WHO was doing the smoking. For all I know, it was my own precious little darling. I just told my son, his cabin, his problem...and really it was ultimately MY problem.

 

They didnt speak english "On purpose" or faking it just because there son got you in trouble. Im sure they speak and understand english very well:rolleyes:

[sparks1093]

Ummmmm.....I was not that calm that night. I got over it quickly, when I had time to think and cool off. I just about had my son in tears asking him why was it not enough to be taken on a cruise and given freedom so he had to take total advantage of the situation. And then I pointed out to him that even though HE did the deed, it was ME who had to answer for it, sign the papers saying I wouldn't allow anything like that to happen again, and would be held responsible for the charges. I believe I told him to take a good look at the security people and understand that they saw him as a spoiled little brat who was given his own cabin and tore it up and is that the kind of impression he wants to make on people and etc. I didn't kill him though...the security people were watching!:D

 

One good thing though, I did not have to listen to any more begging and pleading for more priveledges from any of them for the rest of the cruise. They definitely got the lesson and understood why I make rules sometimes.

 

Haven't read through all of the posts but if I had been in your shoes I probably would have added "and your behavior could have gotten us thrown off the ship". Glad it didn't turn out any worse, because it certainly could have.

[Starlight Durban Cruising]

... Too many parents nowadays think their kids are angels who can do no wrong. These parents let their kids get away with all sorts of bad behaviour- ... When our son was about 18 he had a minor car accident in our car. He freely admitted it was his fault as he had been distracted. No one was injured but there was lots of damage to the car. Insurance covered most of it except the deductible which was $1000.00. He had to pay that - took him many months, paying a bit each pay, but he is a better, more responsible person for it.

Again, Mom you deserve a medal!!

 

Daisyloo, I so agree with you, and at least no one was injured.

 

In the 60's my step-grandfather and my aunt were travelling by car in South Africa. A young chap overtook a vehicle on a downhill, and hit their car as they were coming up the hill.

S-GF lost a leg, and aunt became a paraplegic (they thought she would not live more than a few months initially). Government insurance paid for personal injuries for my relatives as it is built into the gasoline taxes.

 

My gran went to court and sued the young man for the loss on the vehicle. She won the case, and afterwards the young man's father said to her "Shame, how can you make him pay for your car." My gran replied "Every month when he pays that monthly payment to the court for the car, he will remember what he did to my daughter."

 

My aunt was a teenager when the accident happened, and she lived into her 50's (not without difficulties however). We do take comfort as a family in the fact that he probably had to think about his actions every month for a long time when he made those payments for the expensive (imported American) car that he caused to be written off, and the injuries that he caused to our two family members !!!!!