The Kind of Trouble Kids Can Find

[DebBrown]

Ang, I would give you mom of the year award anytime!! There isn't a child alive that hasn't done something they shouldn't have. As parents, we are to teach, guide and correct. You did the right thing in my book and I give you kudos for having the courage to tell your story. I had one son and that was enough to keep me from having any more children. LOL. I was the mom that said, "What did he do this time??"

[Daisyloo]

Amazing that it took 4 pages before the flamers came out! If you will read the OP's first post she specifically stated the kind of trouble her kids got in while at school - nothing major or even serious enough, just a lot of talking, etc. The OP seems to be very aware of how her kids act.

 

You, on the other hand, seem like one of those people who have no kids and think that if a kid ever misbehaves they are a terrible kid. Well, guess what - kids misbehave. Even the best ones will have a time that they will test you and see how far they can push. It is part of being a kid. So, you either have no kids or you have a kid that you believe is perfect and would never do something like that. All kids have stupid moments (kust like a lot of adults), you just have to make sure they learn from those moments like the OP has made her learn. That is the way to be a good parent.

 

Also, if you had read all the posts, you would have read where the OP said that for all she knows it could have been her kid with the cig.

 

Be aware that the kids "who would never do that" are usually they ones who will want to try because they never have! Welcome to the real world of parenting.

 

 

Like :)

[Andoria]

If children started off as teenagers, the human race would be extinct. Thanks again for sharing your story!

[Snapshot19]

Were there any consequences for the over 21 siblings providing the beer? Of course, the kids made their own bad choices, but it sounds like a young adult made some bad choices as well.

[misstopgun]

My mom tells what we call the "no child of mine" story of when my older brother was little. Momma went to the grocery store and there was a 2 or 3 year old throwing a tantrum. Momma told my dad the story ending with, "no child of mine would EVER behave that way." Oh yeah, you guessed it, the very next day, my brother threw himself on the ground and started BEATING his head on the ground in a tantrum. :eek:

 

I can't hear that phrase without chuckling at the thought of my very prim 1950's mom watching horrified as her little angel fell out in the middle of a department store.

The good thing back then is you could pick your child up from the floor and swat them on the butt with your hand a couple of times to give them something to cry about. Anymore, That would bring on a charge of child abuse.

 

Don't misunderstand, I do not believe in beating or belting a child or ever hitting one in anger. A couple of well placed swats with an open hand in public though is an excellent way to alter behavior. They are more embarassed than hurt.

[cruisinvic2]

I absolutly love this post/story -!!! You are an amazing mom . I am so glad to hear of another real mom who's kids aren't "perfect" I usually lose my mother of the year award around Jan 2 lol. I have 3 teenagers 18,16 and 13. They are great kids A/B athletes leaders on and off the field. I bring them on cruises every year and I have no elusion of them being perfect. I've seen the pictures :eek:. Some other parents might want to follow up with what their kids are doing when they are being perfect, I think they may be surprised. We can only do so much, try to teach them but they will make mistakes all of us have young and old. I know of way greater violations done on a cruise ship by adults. I am sure those boys will never forget that alarm going off and security in their room. That will last way longer than than a lecture they dont listen to. They will tell their children about the time they got caught and will always think about it! Bring them on many more cruises! kudos for you for spending time with them and being part of their lives. I know so many parents who are missing out on their children!

[Cruzface]

We are going on the NCL Epic in Feb. 2013. For the first time we are in a balcony room and our boys (17 and 15) are across the hall in an inside. They are good, responsible kids, but this thread has given me something to think about, and worry about. Thanks for posting.

[PortSideCruzan]

Hi AngAndBoys:)

 

I applaud you for posting this & for the way you handled everything.

It is always beneficial for parents to be reminded of the many possible situations that can certainly occur.

 

Without a doubt things could have been much, much worse.

 

During my last cruise in 2011 on Princess, a few teens got in a fight in a cabin.

Alcohol found. Damage to room, lamps, mirror, etc. etc..

The parents were given no choice at all; security was placed outside of the kids cabin until

the ship reached its next port, and the teens & parents were put off the ship.

 

Indeed an expensive lesson learned..

 

Thank you for your post and honesty, have a wonderful day!

 

:)

 

[clarkrock7]

Wow! I am thinking you should stay home because you seem like the type of person who has uncontrolled children and do not care what they do.

 

Well that would make you incorrect. How you came to that conclusion I couldn't possibly say. You have literally no information whatsoever that would lead you to that conclusion, yet you feel confident throwing it out there.

 

I've dealt with grumpy complainer types who love to sit around judging and complaining about others. I've also dealt with kids that aren't well behaved, sometimes because of bad parenting, sometimes because they're kids. In general I'd rather deal with the kids than the grumps.

 

But in this particular case, I am absolutely sure I'd rather have Ang and her boys at my dinner table than the folks whose posts I've been responding to.

[halos]

Her kids had earned her trust...so she allowed them space and like some kids that don't think, they BLEW IT.

hardly uncommon...

 

Now, they are back to square one, having to earn her trust all over again.

I see nothing bad about this or unusual except that those boys did suffer repercussion which a lot of parents don't seem to feel necessary. All 3 boys learned a solid lesson all in one pop...I bet they are no longer going to do anything as stupid again.

When you look at it this way, it's all good.

 

The OP posting this story made a huge PSA and hopefully other parents of teens will take note and be more observant and dilligent, even with their kids that are usually no problem.

 

My oldest was a good teen...involved in sports and an A student...LOL, but so was I when I was a teen, so I KNEW that the good ones are the ones you really gotta keep your eye on ;)

My youngest was truly an angel..this is because she saw the older one punished severly on a few occasions and knew not to screw with us.

 

Parenting is SO immensely hard. Kudos to all of us that get through it sane :)

[oncruisecontrol]

The OP posting this story made a huge PSA and hopefully other parents of teens will take note and be more observant and dilligent, even with their kids that are usually no problem.

 

 

 

Parenting is SO immensely hard. Kudos to all of us that get through it sane :)

I think that most likely anyone who has posted to this thread agrees with these statements.

[oncruisecontrol]

Her kids had earned her trust...so she allowed them space and like some kids that don't think, they BLEW IT.

hardly uncommon...

 

:)

Allowing space after earned trust is one thing. Allowing 12, 14, and 16 yr olds to have someone in their cabin who you don't know (unsupervised by the parent) is, I'm sure, what has some posters scratching their heads. The children have a rule that they are not to enter anyone else's cabin(very sensible), yet they can have an unkown "friend" in their cabin? Going into a stranger's cabin or letting a stranger into the boy's cabin. Where is the difference?

 

As I said in my earlier post, once the Mom was alerted by her younger sons as to what had happened, she handled it quite well.

[Kristi Williamson]

Allowing space after earned trust is one thing. Allowing 12, 14, and 16 yr olds to have someone in their cabin who you don't know (unsupervised by the parent) is, I'm sure, what has some posters scratching their heads. The children have a rule that they are not to enter anyone else's cabin(very sensible), yet they can have an unkown "friend" in their cabin? Going into a stranger's cabin or letting a stranger into the boy's cabin. Where is the difference?

 

As I said in my earlier post, once the Mom was alerted by her younger sons as to what had happened, she handled it quite well.

 

I agree with this poster. I think the OP handled the situation very well...once she knew something was going on. I doubt anyone else would have handled it any better! However, I do think it wasn't very smart to allow them to have strangers in their room.

 

No one in our rooms/no going in others room is almost at the top of our DO NOT DO OR FACE DIRE CONSEQUENCES list. I don't have perfect kids (LOL at anyone who says their angels wouldn't do this!), but I do have kids who understand the rules and, yes, they have some fear in not following them. They've broken rules at home and they know that both my DH and myself say what we mean and mean what we say.

 

Our oldest is almost 18 and as long as we pay his fare, they'll be no strangers in his room...unless he wants to have his key taken and stay with us the entire trip. Not even kidding. My view is that you're adult enough to do something I, as the parent, don't agree with once you can pay your own way entirely. Until then, you're ultimately still our responsibility and we're gonna do this our way!

 

I'm glad the OP and the kids learned from this, and I hope parents who let their kids have "friends" (who they've known for all of a few days!) in their room, think twice about it after reading this. It's just a bad idea all around.

 

We don't allow our kids to stay out past midnight (and only past 11 if there's an actual activity!) and I just think the 1am curfew for kids is craziness. To each their own on this, though.

[mickide]

I am going to be 50 in November, my mother is 83. There are things I did as a teenager she STILL hasn't found out yet *LOL*

 

So you WERE one of the bad boys :).

[Snapshot19]

Same here! DD21 recently told us of some of the "stuff" she did on 6 prior cruises with us - without us knowing. This is with curfew, adjoining cabins, etc. And she is a "good" kid! Made my keratin treatment wear right off!:eek:

 

Too funny! Thanks for the laugh.

[halos]

Allowing space after earned trust is one thing. Allowing 12, 14, and 16 yr olds to have someone in their cabin who you don't know (unsupervised by the parent) is, I'm sure, what has some posters scratching their heads. The children have a rule that they are not to enter anyone else's cabin(very sensible), yet they can have an unkown "friend" in their cabin? Going into a stranger's cabin or letting a stranger into the boy's cabin. Where is the difference?

 

As I said in my earlier post, once the Mom was alerted by her younger sons as to what had happened, she handled it quite well.

 

I agree with you..I wouldn't have allowed it and when my girls were on their first cruise with us (aged 14 and 16) there was no way they would be going about the ship on their own anyway...It's not that they wanted to and I said, "no'...they never asked to be anywhere without us. It was just our usual vacation which meant we were together most of the time. That was just how we were and still are :)

However.......everyone is different. My first reaction when reading the op was "WTH was she thinking??" but knowing that all parents make mistakes, I didn't jump on her....the important thing here is that everyone learned a lesson and she posted this so that other people can learn from her mistake and possibly not make the same one.

[oncruisecontrol]

I agree with you..I wouldn't have allowed it and when my girls were on their first cruise with us (aged 14 and 16) there was no way they would be going about the ship on their own anyway...It's not that they wanted to and I said, "no'...they never asked to be anywhere without us. It was just our usual vacation which meant we were together most of the time. That was just how we were and still are :)

However.......everyone is different. My first reaction when reading the op was "WTH was she thinking??" but knowing that all parents make mistakes, I didn't jump on her....the important thing here is that everyone learned a lesson and she posted this so that other people can learn from her mistake and possibly not make the same one.

I agree 100% with what you say here.....which is why I waited a while (ended up being post #188) to write what many reading this thread may have been thinking. I did not want to jump on the OP either. When we (my sister and I) were teenagers(more than 20 years ago), we never cruised. Our vacations included ice skating and ski trips (Poconos, PA and Lake Placid, NY) and Manhattan. We were always with our parents mostly, and wanted to be as these were family trips. We (my sister and I) never considered them to be anything else but a family trip. In fact, the idea wouldn't have even have occurred to us. At times, we were on a group trip with other families who had teens, and sometimes we ventured to a restaurant alone or with other teens in our group, nevertheless we were all very cognizant of the fact that we were a reflection of our parents. And, as a result, behaved accordingly. We stayed in relatively small hotels or inns where all the staff knew who's kid you were.

[mousey]

Thanks to all who are supportive. I know I am asking to get flamed by telling this. However, I don't care about the flamers. I really don't. I don't know them, they don't know me. I have just seen a whole lot of threads about how much freedom to give teens. I have no issue sharing what "could" happen. My little Knights in Shining Armour also carried a completely sloshed 15 year old girl to her cabin the last night to make sure she got there safely. I was personally surprised by the amount of underage drinking going on. I honestly believed it would be impossible, or at least very difficult for kids to get ahold of enough alcohol on a cruise ship to do any damage. Clearly I was mistaken and I wanted other parents to be wise to it too. I cannot be the only one who didn't know how easy it was.

 

It is amazing how easy it is for kids to get booze anywhere. All they need is an older sibling or friend. Last year on our cruise we sat at a table with a lovely couple who had two teenage sons traveling with them. We were happy because we were travelnig with the DH and his friend who were at the time 16 an 17 respectively. Well on the third night of our cruise I hear the door to my DS's room slaming. It was 2:30a a half hour past the curfew I had set for the boys (the teen club closes at 1a so I gave them an extra hour to go have pizza with their new made friends). Well, turns out that one of the teenaged sons of the couple that we had met at our dinner table was getting booze from his dad and he spiked my DS's softdrink while my DS went to the bathroom (it was done as a joke supposedly). Well when I heard the door slam I went out into the hallway to tell the boys they had broken curfew and to be careful not to slam the door as it would disturb other people. What do I see when I step outside but my DS's friend coming in late. The look on his face told me something was up besides their breaking curfew. So, I woke up the DH and he called the boys to come to our room...that's when I realized my DS was drunk! I was furious!!! Funny thing, our dinner mates never came back to have dinner at our table the rest of the cruise. I called the kid on what he had done hwen I saw him the next day and that's when he told me it was done in fun and he didn't mean to hurt my DS. I found out his dad was giving him a certain amount of booze every night and a couple of cigarettes to boot!!!:eek: Anyway, I gave my DS and his buddy the what for but I didn't let it ruin the cruise. When I got home the DS learned that he was not allowed to drive for two weeks! That was a killer consequence for him because he had just gotten his driver's license and was loving getting to drive himself everywhere. Did he learn his lesson...we'll find out in two weeks on our next cruise. I will certainly be less trustful this time around. I won't change the curfew, but I'll be checking on them a lot more closely. Live and learn!;) Oh yeah, and my kid too is a straight A student and is in the National Honor Society...go figure!

[HImom]

It is interesting that your DS could get that drunk with some alcohol added to one drink and something for your DS & family to be well aware of, so that he can guard himself against leaving his beverage unattended (something we constantly try to drill into our kids--unknown what people may slip into a drink--even knockout meds).

 

Glad your DS seems to have made a recovery from this.

[Ducktape003]

I also doubt her son noticed the taste difference of the apparently extremely strong alcohol that got him that drunk that was poured on top of his one drink.

 

Hats off to the OP for not shielding her little men from pushing the limits, making their own decisions, and learning from it.

[babyher]

So you WERE one of the bad boys :).

 

 

Hey how are you? Lomg time no see :)

 

If I knew a bad boy post would have brought you around , i would have posted it sooner.

 

Hope all has been well .

 

Any new tats ? :)

[mickide]

Hey how are you? Lomg time no see :)

 

If I knew a bad boy post would have brought you around , i would have posted it sooner.

 

Hope all has been well .

 

Any new tats ? :)

 

I just thought it was time to hunt you down and you do know...I like my bad boys :).

I do have a couple of new birds, have decided to go for the full sleeve now. In June, I had a cardinal and then a week later a bluejay was added. It's going to be sooo amazing! And you also know I never turn down time with my artist ;).

How about you?

[CzarTwon]

Cruises are actually where teenagers are giving the most freedom before College. I'm 22 playing collegiate basketball & getting my BA in Marketing next year. Now I do remember being 14-17 & my dad letting me & my cousin pretty much roam the ships freely. I guess because it was a lot safer due to the fact we lived in New York City & was already taking the bus/train to get to school & basketball practice. On the boat we had our own cabins & we did have party's & my big brothers did give us liquor. We never really got in trouble with security, so my dad didn't actually find out until I told him (after I turned 21 of course). Parents might disagree with me but I feel like you should let your kids roam a little more esp on the boat as they get older & they gain more trust from you. On a boat there is really so much a teen can do that he/she won't be able to do on land. I thank my dad/brothers for actually letting me practice being "free" on the boat because when I moved to FL for college I realized peer pressure is real, & teens that parents were maybe a little bit more over-protective than others got into way more trouble (DUIs/Drugs/etc) once they left the nest. Never the less I am now the big brother going on a cruise in Aug with my little brother & cousin (17). My brother has one more year of HS & my cousin graduated in July. I feel like it's only right for me to show my younger siblings the same thing my older brothers showed me as far as handling myself. I'm not saying I'm going to drench them with Bahama Mamas, but I do what to make sure they won't ever be peer pressured into foolishness & they are able to handle themselves after a shot or two. Obviously, I don't expect a lot of people to agree with me. I just wanted to write this so parents would have different point of view being that I was your kids age a couple years ago. So if you have any questions feel free to ask.

[mousey]

I won't be restricting the boys from having fun or change their curfew as a matter of fact for the first night I'm not going to give them a curfew and see what time they get back on their own. If it's a decent time I'll continue to not give them a curfew, if they blow it and come in at some outrageous time then I will give them a curfew and if they break it this year the DS will have to move to my cabin and his friend will have to bunk with the DH (and he won't like that because the DH snores..LOL). I'm not taking any crap from them again this year especially since the DS's friend is now 18 and can drink in the Bahamas. I can see where things could go wrong there very quickly if I don't keep an eye on things.

 

And yes, the DS did not know his drink was spiked...it was a virgin drink of some kind and he just thought it tasted bad. He had just gotten it when he went off to the bathroom and hadn't tasted it yet. He knows now what alcohol tastes like so I won't fall for that excuse again. The kid that put the alcohol in the drink apologized by the next night when the DS saw him with a couple of girls he told the girls what the guy had done the night before to warn them to be careful. I thought that was nice of him.

[AngAndBoys]

OP, I don't know if you addressed this yet, but your last post made me wonder: What was your husband's reaction when you told him about your son's adventures?

 

Well, that's a little complicated. My husband that was with us last summer was their step-father. He was much stricter than I am and definitely more in tune to what kids could and would get up to. He was a preacher's kid...and he was a wild teenager. 'Nuff said. He died last summer, about one month after the cruise, so I'm back to being on my own with them...sorta.

 

Their father is alive and well and lives in the same neighborhood we do. We get along pretty well and are very cooperative about getting our kids raised. My 12 year old called him from the very first port to tell him what had happened. Since I knew he already knew...I didn't call him then. At the time (the day after the incident), I didn't really feel like talking about it just yet. I talked to him about it when I got home and he said he was surprised I didn't call him from Key West to pick up the older one. :D

 

My 16 year old went to see him after our trip and they talked about it. My ex gave me report on what was said, and basically, he was proud that the kid took responsibility. He's not terribly heavy handed either. He felt like the kid got it and no more parental intervention was necessary at that time.